245 thoughts on “Open Thread: Resolutions”

  1. I’m following Christine Kane’s example and choosing a theme for 2010, and I’m choosing “wealth,” with all of the discomfort and built-in-growth that implies.

  2. I am going to continue to learn to love myself (including my body) unconditionally and to learn how to care for myself the best way I can.

    I am going to continue healing from emotional abuse.

    I am going to learn photography. Just spent way too much money on the camera and have classes in the lineup for early 2010.

  3. My new years resolution is to find something in life that I enjoy that doesn’t involve dieting, food, or exercise. Something that hopefully gets me excited to get out of bed in the morning.

  4. I generally don’t do resolutions — I don’t like arbitrary dates or deadlines, and I don’t like setting myself up for failure. Also, I mostly think I’m awesome as-is.

    I’m interested in exploring ways to cut down on fast food consumption, both for economic and political reasons. More self-care through home cooking? More meals at real restaurants? More sharing real food with friends and loved ones? Yes to all. Just learning ways to answer hunger more mindfully than, “There’s a McDonald’s down the street…. that would be fast.” I deserve more than that.

  5. Today I went to see the obstetrician to explain my plans for a homebirth; she cleverly said “You can’t judge risk by statistics, I *know* -” and I was still not swayed.

    For 2010 I am having a baby and not letting anyone walk all over me.

  6. I don’t usually do resolutions but I think this year I will.

    1) drop the baggage off at the nearest dumpster and don’t look back
    2) once I’m baggage-free, find someone to love. Or sex. I’m okay with either as long as I’m not spending weekends at my computer all the time.
    3) start exercising regularly again because I deserve to have a body that works for me *
    4) stop the procrastination as I am an adult and it’s time to act like it

    *I don’t mean that in a diet-y way. I mean being strong and having energy.

  7. I’m planning to slow down and nurture myself. That nurturing will include focusing on increasing the quality and quantity of my food regardless of the scale or any individuals’ reaction.

    I had three amazing homebirths. Find a midwife who respects you and your autonomy over your own body (generally easier than finding an OB who does) and do what’s best for you. It’s amazing!

  8. I am going to:

    (1) go on at least three hikes with the local chapter of the Sierra Club this winter, a group through which I hope and suspect I might meet new friends,
    (2) get over any adolescent hang-ups and finally get myself to my city’s folk music and dancing society’s get-togethers (again, at least three before I decide to keep going or not),
    (3) write the 20 – 40 pages required for application to a master’s in writing program at a nearby university,
    (4) throw fondue and poker parties every other week in January, February, and March, to beat the winter doldrums.

  9. I want to choose a word that will be my theme/mantra/etc for the year. I’m still mulling over what that will be, but Fall’s response is really speaking to me.

  10. I want to take better care of myself. Eating more produce, as I tend to slip off on that; remembering to refill my humidifier every night; sleeping when I need to instead of forcing myself to stay awake; making time to go out with my friends; remembering to take my antidepressant and allergy pills; etc. Little things.

  11. In 2010, I want to:

    1) continue to work on chilling out and being happy. My end-of-year goal is to be able to go shopping with my husband without having a godsdamn panic attack.

    2) be a rocking parent to my little one, due in March.

    3) ace my German course.

    4) forget my stinking headfuck of a job.

    5) write to my biodad and my best friend at least once a month.

    6) have a lot more sex.

    7) wear clothes that I love.

  12. I don’t usually do resolutions, either, but the changeover in year and decade has some nice symbolic weight to it, and a lot of things I’ve dealt with in the past decade are switching into a new cycle (like a diagnosis of Bipolar II after a major failure of my carefully built coping mechanisms), so it’s a good opportunity for me to re-evaluate. My theme for this next decade is ‘acceptance’.

    – Explore my mental and physical limitations with kindness toward myself, learn to accept them, and work within them.
    – Firmly but kindly set a daily schedule for myself, for even though some parts of me balk I feel immense comfort and relief at knowing what to expect every day. Schedule includes regular daylight, regular mealtimes, body movement, and writing, all things that keep my body and mind healthy.
    – Allow myself to feel fear and frustration at challenges and express that fear and frustration in words, rather than keeping it in and presenting a stoic face and never being able act despite the fear.
    – Continue to try to take to heart SnarkysMachine’s weekly wish of ‘Replace judgement with curiosity’.
    – Use fewer commas, for my comma abuse is rampant.
    – Finish writing, rewriting, polish, and all, a damned novel already! XD

  13. My goals are:
    -Learn to cook a few more things. I’m not a cook, but I like making things and I like eating. So I figure learning how to make some things will help me figure out if I *can be* a cook, or more of one anyway.
    -Finish my novel’s second draft. I’ve been avoiding it.
    -Go to Field Training this summer (unavoidable, but I’ve been dreading it—it’s basically a four week military camp for ROTC cadets.)
    -Avoid winter depression. That worked out so well last year.
    -Go on a few dates. I’m notoriously commitment-phobic, but I’ve never really *had* any commitments. So I’ve gotta give it a try, at least.

  14. I’d like to stop being so twitchy about letting people get close to me emotionally and physically. I’m afraid to say that I want to get laid within x amount of time, though, because the last time I did that my uncle died suddenly.

    Alternately, I’d like to be more happy and at peace with myself in general.

  15. I’ve got three:

    1) Make it to church every Sunday unless I’m sick or otherwise physically unable.
    2) Quit participating in non-friendly gossip. Even if I’m not going to pass it on, I don’t need to hear it.
    3) Bake a batch of cookies every month (especially interesting since I planned on this one before learning that I needed to keep a gluten-free diet. Ah well, I’m up for a challenge).

  16. I want to start exercising, because I hate getting winded just walking up the stairs. I miss being fit, regardless of size, and really really REALLY hope that I’ll be able to keep doing it when it’s for my own good, not because I want to lose weight.

    Also, I want to work on my anxiety and possibly be less dependant on caffeine.

  17. Well I plan on starting the new year delightfully drunk on champagne and other goodies, but past that I guess that in 2010 I should work on getting into grad school the following year and putting some more effort into my gardening and cooking. And cracking open my sketchbook and blog more often.

  18. @Ailbhe – explaining homebirth plans to an obstetrician is usually like explaining to a car sales professional how you plan on replacing a car you hated with walking, biking and taking public transit everywhere you want to go. The inherent conflict of interest there can’t logically be overcome, and they can think of a million vehicles you could have bought right from them that would have been so much better! That’s the problem! You just didn’t get the right car. But the best solution of course is a car, because that’s what they’re selling.

    My resolution, as ever, is to treat myself to an enjoyable life in every way that it is possible for me to do so. It’s an easy one to keep.

  19. This is my first year in which “lose weight,” “get in shape,” etc. are glaringly omitted from the list and I am feeling quite accomplished because of that! It’s like I managed to cross that one off before the year even started :P

    My only body-related goal is totally functional: I want to maintain or increase my current running mileage and shave about a minute and a half off my mile time by the end of the summer so that I’ll be fast enough to keep up with the local running club.

    My more important goals now basically have to do with greater financial discipline – start saving for retirement, even if it’s just tiny contributions with each paycheck, and increase the amount and regularity of charitable donations, even if I don’t manage to hit 10% this year.

  20. @ Renatus and Phoquess — Good luck with the novels! I need more interesting books to read!

    I have a novel-related New Year’s resolution this year, too — get an agent and get that thing published by 2010’s end! This is my year, and this is the novel that’s going to beat the odds. Sorry, six novels that didn’t cut it, you guys were great practice, but this one! This one is the golden child.

    I also resolve to be a better wife. Not in the “OMGGOODHOUSEKEEPING” good wife way, but in the overall, better person way. Is it unfeminist to say that sort of thing? I ask because I really don’t know. I just want to be better able to support my husband’s emotional, physical, and psychological needs than I currently do, I don’t want to let my own life’s difficulties prevent me from being a loving spouse who’s nice to be around. I mean, sure, maybe that would involve ironing a shirt or two to help save time, but more about making a safe place for my husband to share his thoughts and feelings. I hope this resolution doesn’t offend anyone.

  21. Krishji, I don’t know how anyone could be offended by you wanting to be a better spouse. It’s on my list as well (though I do think my husband is damn lucky to have me, I could be a touch less high strung with him).

    Happy New Year to everyone!

  22. @Krishji — i don’t think it makes you unfeminist. feminism is, after all, about having the ability to make our own choices, whatever they be. choosing to work on your relationships and be more mindful of those you love is always a brave and healthy thing to do.

    I don’t want to let my own life’s difficulties prevent me from being a loving spouse who’s nice to be around.

    i’ve been working on that too.

  23. It’s looking like I’m going to spend much of early 2010 being Jewish in impressively geeky ways, which I’m looking forward to :-)

    I also need to apply to this job I want by the 8th if I’m going to do it at all. *fingers crossed*

  24. – give birth.
    – try not to kill the baby in my extreme tiredness.
    – pretend like I think I deserve all the good things.
    – try to help more than I hurt.
    – attempt to get my husband to wear shoes other than Crocs ;)

  25. I also resolve to be a better wife. Not in the “OMGGOODHOUSEKEEPING” good wife way, but in the overall, better person way. Is it unfeminist to say that sort of thing?

    Not at all! I’m working at being a better girlfriend. Which, really, means being more patient and learning to compromise in healthy ways and such, but it’s important for me to remember to work on those thing specifically with my boyfriend, because he’s so forgiving of lapses that if I don’t, I’ll walk all over him without thinking about it.

  26. I don’t normally do resolutions, but I felt like it this year. It’s the end of my teenage decade, after all (I am 22 yrs old).

    1. Get a better job
    2. Move to a better apartment with my partner
    3. Learn to knit
    4. Make a budget and stick to it
    5. Eat more local and organic

    Happy new year! :)

  27. I want to have more good sex, buy more cute shoes, appreciate life’s bounties, and learn how to trim my Shih-Poo’s hair so I don’t have to shell out $50 a month for some stranger to do it.

    “I don’t want to let my own life’s difficulties prevent me from being a loving spouse who’s nice to be around.”
    I’m working on this one too.

  28. I’m going to read the rest of Vonnegut’s books. And read a lot of other books. And maybe buy a few books, which I will then read.

  29. Last year I worked hard at FA and being happy regardless of what I have/don’t have, life threw at me, etc.

    This year I plan to work hard at HAES and continuing to be happy despite whatever. I also want to work on getting a different job. Here’s to a great new year to all!

  30. I want to cook more often, spend more time outside, and do needlepoint instead of playing computer games. I also want to go to church more frequently once my back pain gets to the point that I can actually sit in a pew again.

    i-geek: the very first thing I ever learned how to cook by myself is a cookie recipe that involves no flour. If you have an electric mixer, it’s easy.

    Forgotten Cookies
    Ingredients: 3 egg whites, 1 c sugar, 1 tsp vanilla, 1 c chocolate chips
    1. Preheat oven to 350.
    2. Beat egg whites until stiff.
    3. Gradually beat in sugar (I do it about 1/3 at a time)
    4. Beat in vanilla.
    5. Stir in chocolate chips.
    6. Cover cookie sheets with waxed paper. Drop batter by small spoonfuls onto paper.
    7. Put cookie sheets in oven. Turn oven off immediately. Leave overnight.

  31. This year I will:

    1. Adopt/rescue a dog (so my imaginary dog at last has a playmate).

    2. Get the tattoo I have been imagining, as a way to physically represent my love of dance and movement. (Anyone willing/able to help me work up the image?)

    3. Continue to learn—in love, teaching, cooking, compassion, etc.

    4. Practice saying “no” detached from lengthy explanations, justifications, and qualifications. Because sometimes, just, no.

  32. My resolutions are as follows:

    1. Stop eating out except for special occasions or with large groups of friends. My boyfriend eat at restaurants entirely too much and it sucks up a large portion of our budget that could be used for entirely more exciting things, like a vacation or down payment on a new car.
    2. Make new (awesome!) friends. A lot of my friends have graduated college/moved away just recently and I’ve found the ones that are left I have little in common with anymore. I think this one will be the hardest for me, as I am WAY picky about people, for better or worse.
    3. Have more sex, and have that sex be more adventurous.
    4. Embrace my sense of personal style and wear/buy clothes I really, really love.

  33. I’m not really resolving anything, but I have two big goals for 2010. I’m going to walk in the Washington DC Avon Walk for breast cancer in May and I’m going to apply to grad school for admission in June of 2011.

    I will also find a way to tolerate my job between now and grad school, which may mean a new one.

  34. For myself, I try to be a good spouse and a good partner, not so much a “good wife” because I think that there’s so much cultural baggage around “good wife.” But that’s me, not anyone else.

  35. I plan to get the sparkle back in my eye this year. I was laid off in early 2009 and spent the year on my couch. Eating. Sleeping. And watching People’s Court. Seriously, that’s all I did. I recently found a picture taken of me 6 years ago and I’m full of life and happiness. My nephew did not believe that it was me in the picture!!

    I also would like to work on my art and creativity. Sewing, taking new risks with painting, baking. And to stop harshly judging those who do not share my political and/or social views.

  36. I’m going to really work on restoring the flexibility I lost in a shoulder injury . . . . 6 years ago. I didn’t have insurance to get it treated well enough back then, and it’s caused me no shortage of issues. I know I’ll never have it back to where it was before it got injured and I was 19. But I know that if I do my research and stick to some sort of stretching regimen, I’ll make it a little better and will probably keep it from getting worse.

    Other than that, I will write more, publish more, and just generally be more awesome.

  37. I’m going to take belly dancing lessons (signed up today!). That style of dance is very intriguing to me. I also want to do more strength training – my main form of exercise is cycling, and I want to gain muscle mass and help increase my bone density (osteoporosis on both sides).

  38. Not really resolutions, but goals.

    1) Sell my house, which means having it in show condition by the end of January and KEEPING it in that condition until somebody hands me a check.

    2) Find and move into a house we’re willing to keep until we need to go to assisted living.

    3) Do my part to reduce the trade imbalance — buy less stuff over all, fewer impulse purchases, and as little from China as possible.

    4) Walk and bike more, drive less; eat more local foods and fewer imports; reduce our meat consumption to 2-3x a week. (Garden, if I manage to get 1&2 done by the first week of May.) Be better about my carbon footprint in general.

    5) Get one of the three finished novels to the “Agent wants” place instead of in the “Agent wants changes” place. Have it in the submission cycle by September.

    That’s enough for one year.

  39. I intend to learn to put limits on my generosity. Five and a half years ago, my brother asked if he could move in for ‘a month or two’ while he was out of work. Mr. Twistie and I both assumed it would take a bit longer, but mentally budgeted for about six months. He moved out two weeks ago. In the course of those five years and change, he destroyed Mr. Twistie’s desk chair, made Mr. Twistie’s studio control room utterly inaccessible and considering the amount of food we found left lying around we’re amazed it wasn’t full of vermin. He spent all his time playing computer games and IMing a friend about how he (the friend!) was screwing up his (the friend’s!) life, and throwing out things that didn’t belong to him.

    When he moved out, he left half his shit behind, but found the time and energy to toss some of Mr. Twistie’s treasures in the garbage.

    Oh, and want to know what he said to me when he left? Not a single fucking word. He thanked Mr. Twistie, but apparently I’m merely an appendage of my husband. When Mr. Twistie pointed out that he really ought to be thanking his SISTER who was the ENTIRE reason he was allowed to live in our house so long, he looked startled and then reiterated his thanks…to Mr. Twistie.

    Yeah, my brother has no clue how much he is not moving back in with us EVER again.

    I will not be that big a sucker again for anyone.

    Other than that, I intend to find new ways of nurturing myself and rediscover old ones. When I make me happy, I have a lot more room in my life to make my family (those who deserve it) and friends happy.

  40. I haven’t made a resolution for years because resolutions are usually all about weight loss. But this year, I’ve resolved to reach out more. I tend to be very closed in if I don’t work at it, so I lose touch with people a lot, and the people who are still in my life don’t know how much I value them.

    I just called an old friend who I haven’t talked to in a few months to wish him a happy new year. He immediately wanted to know how school was going for me (he got his undergrad degree from the same school in the same major), and he almost made me cry with all his encouragement and just the fact that he cares. Not drifting apart is a happy thing.

  41. I am going to work on my fat acceptance this year. I thought I was doing really well until I was a few months postpartum and my pregnancy “I am lovable at any size” attitude wore off. I appear to be stuck in the “fat is okay for everyone but me” stage. I’m about to start lifting weights and running again, both of which I enjoy, but I’m afraid that deep down inside I’m partly doing it with the expectation that I will lose weight, which is so not the point. Like Kaia, I’m going to try getting back into working out for the strength and endurance and energy, not the weight loss.

  42. Pretty much everything on my resolution list can basically be summed up by “putting myself first” (which will be a big change for everyone, not just me).

    This includes getting some exercise (to reduce stress and just feel better, not in a weight loss way), hopefully finding a good healthy relationship, finding a steady job (which will get the finances in order), learning to say no to my family, having more fun, doing more art, and getting a tattoo.

  43. 1) Buy less stuff, and use the really cool stuff I have that I’ve been accumulating.

    2) Thin out the stuff to make more physical and mental space.

    3) Try to just be healthy, instead of always adding the mental parenthetical about weight loss – as in “I’m going to eat more vegetables because it makes me feel better (and then I’ll be skinnier!).” 90% of me is right there with the first part of the statement, but 10% keeps clinging to the parenthetical.

  44. My mantra for 2010 is “Fuck Being Comfortable”. I’m sick of the same damn routine all the time, and avoiding changing it because I’m afraid of being uncomfortable. And that means going out more and to new places, trying new things with my art and just generally doing new shit no matter how much it scares me.

  45. I had three:

    1) Be deliberate in my actions. This means less whiling the day away on the computer and more making things, going to yoga (I recently found an amazing donations-based yoga class that’s held in a church on top of a labyrinth…I’m a little obsessed with it).

    2) Open up an Etsy store to get rid of the crafts that I love to make but then don’t have much use for.

    3) Learn how to make a really killer sourdough loaf of bread (now that I live in San Francisco, I don’t have any excuse!)

  46. I don’t do New Year’s resolutions.

    I do feel the next year could hold lots of potential for new, exciting, stressful events. I mean this in a mostly good way. I’m really not sure what’s going to happen, I don’t have a big plan or goal, but the world is kind of my oyster and I could do anything. That’s a bit intimidating, the number of choices is overwhelming if I let myself think about them. So I actually do have one clear goal – to stay relaxed, not let anxiety get a hold of me to the point that I need medication.

  47. Oooooh Chris I LOVE that! Isn’t it funny how even a state of depression gets to be comfortable. Misery and despair become comfortable. Fuck that!!! I’m sick of it!

  48. Oo, resolutions:

    * don’t diet
    * eat more veg and less wheat
    * rewrite my novel
    * write a new novel
    * bring the wee one outside more (until the bugs are bad enough)
    * attempt to tidy the house more often
    * try not to stress so much
    * build that freakin’ garden
    * try not to stress so much
    * um, I forgot the rest

  49. I make the same resolution every year, which may sound sad, since I never achieve it, but it’s not so much an achievable goal as a mantra:

    Less fear.

    As in, “live with…”

    Fear has a place, of course, and causes that are not under our control, but I have too much of it – more than I feel I should – and I let it control me too much.

    So, less fear.

    Sex would be great, too, though. ;)


  50. I’m going to focus on my career, now that I finally feel like I’m on the right track. Also, on directing as much of my energy as possible at things/people that make me happy and as little as possible at things/people that don’t. Bye bye toxic friends, keep your distance toxic family members, leave me the hell alone toxic ex. I’m having sort of a feeling reborn moment (which has nothing at all to do with weight loss, appearance etc by the way, despite the pop culture narrative – I look pretty much the same way I did when I felt like I was stuck in a rut).

    I’m not actually Buddhist, or religious at all, but I sort of feel like I’m following that path at the moment. Shed all the stuff you don’t need in your life, focus all your energies on the stuff you really want, and try to practice detachment from things that you know aren’t doing your mental/emotional state any good. Try to believe in yourself, because if you don’t no one else will either.

  51. I was resolved not to make resolutions this year, but I find I can’t help myself. Like others above, I resolve to take better care of myself. My challenge is to do that without falling into the need to ‘fix’ myself and my flaws, but keep to goal of self care.

    I will cook more at home, which means getting over and through all the blocks I have to cooking at home these days – inconvenient and irritating kitchen, lingering attitudes about cooking with fat and sugar from the dieting days, stressful days that leave me tired, and of course, I love good restaurant food and people bringing me what I want. One thing that isn’t a problem is that I can cook, and the family likes my food when I do.

    I will exercise, so that I can maintain (at minimum) but more ambitiously increase my strength and condition. Now that I am older, it becomes more clear that what I take for granted can be lost. I think I can finally join a gym without the FOBT taking over, which always has led to the corollary that if I don’t lose weight, then exercise wasn’t worth doing.

  52. What I hope for 2010:
    – continue to track my spending & reduce my debt
    – supplement my medication with therapy
    – have more sex with my spouse
    – cook more
    – renew my yoga practice
    – finally open and use my illuminated lettering kit.

  53. Oh, I’d also like to find the courage to leave my church and find another that has deep, meaningful worship.

  54. No real resolutions for this year, just want to continue working towards my goals one step at a time. One of the things I look forward to in 2010 is being in a better financial situation by the end of it (paying off taxes and medical bills month by month). Also, a friend of mine just lost her little boy, and I was reminded once again to cherish every day with my daughter.

  55. Hmmm. Well I do have one which is body-related but it’s a health rather than diet thing:

    * I want to run, walk or crawl the City 2 Surf in my hometown of Sydney. It’s a 14km hilly thing that runs every August. Laziness and family plans have always interfered in the past. This is the year.

    * I want to eat less cake (I really do eat a LOT of cake, a by-product of my love of baking cake) and work out more, so I feel healthier in my body. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m feeling uncomfortable

    * I want to have a lot more sex, because I like sex and I’ve not been having enough of it. That has been changing lately and I plan to make sure it continues.

    * I want to pay off my credit card debt. Then, maybe, if I can, buy a motorbike.

    * I want to finish my editor’s course. Nothing but procrastination and busy-ness has prevented me. Time to crack the books.

  56. At Chez Megbap, we’re hoping to buy a house, too! It’s a thrilling idea. I’m so sick of paying rent.

    Also, and relatedly, we have a plan to pay down our debts.

    I would also like to get more physical activity into my day and to be a better partner to Mr. Megbap.

  57. After discovering SP i started to disengage from bitchy gossip and making comments/assumptions about people and their motives. It’s actually been a rather eye opening journey. Instead of immediately making negative assumptions about others i keep myself open to the possibility that what is on the surface may not accurately reflect what’s inside.
    For example, there’s a mother at little my jrs kinder who seemed a bit stand offish, i’d just automatically got into my negative bitchyness ” she’s so stuck up, snobby etc. ” so i made more of an effort to make contact and she’s really nice, just a bit shy.

    I want my daughter to grow up feeling that appearance is not everything, that beauty is an expression of who she is, her character and sense of herself not a narrowly defined physical template.

    I realised that so much of the “bonding” in women occurs by putting other women down, and playing the “i’m so fat..no i’m so fat!” game and i don’t want to play. So i’m changing the rules! I’m going to counter diet talk with HAES pushing. I will not engage with any body negative talk.
    I guess i’m going to try and be a better feminist this year.
    I also want to get hold of a poster i used to have, with a little cartoon girl and the comment “Don’t diet … riot!” for my kitchen wall.

  58. Get physically stronger. I lost a lot of weight (not intentionally) and I’m much healthier now for a number of reasons, but I don’t feel like I have any stamina. I want to run a 5 K by the end of the summer. I think that’s doable.

  59. I know this is going to sound incredibly passive, but I hope I manage to keep my job this year. You’d think it might be up to me, but I work in education in California. Southern California, to be specific; LAUSD to be even more specific. We’re facing a 12% salary cut, unpaid furlough days and the loss of many, many more educators, all due to the fact that our Republican governor uses the helping professions, education especially, as his spare change pocket to help “balance” California’s debt. Many people were cut from LAUSD at the end of last school year (June 2009) and with the additional budget cuts to education for 2010, many more educators will lose their job. I hope I’m not one of them.

    I suppose it might make more sense to resolve to not feel stressed out by California’s economy and the precarious position of all educators in California, but I know myself well enough to know that making a resolution to *not* stress out would fail miserably in the first 5 minutes of 2010.

    On a more positive note, I resolve to gather some information about other school districts (still in California, sadly) with the intent of finding out if they might be better places to work than LAUSD, possibly with the intent of moving to a different part of the state.

    Ultimately, though (and I can’t believe I just used “ultimately” as a qualifier), I resolve to deal with whatever 2010 throws at me in the best, most authentic and gracious way possible. For me, that is. Which is going to take some serious work. Whew.

  60. I had a really ambitious 2009, and I did all the things I wanted to do. That may be the first time my New Year’s Resolutions were genuinely carried out. So, for 2010, I want to make those changes a permanent part of my life–consolidate my gains, fortify my new position, however you would put it.

  61. I’m planning to be more active in my own life. I think a lot of the time, I just let things happen, and then just complain about how things don’t work out the way I’d like. I actually asked someone out just before the holidays for the first time in about 10 years (not an exaggeration). I’m not sure if it’s going to pan out or not, but I think I need to make more choices and make more effort in my work and personal life. At least then, if I fail, it won’t be from letting inertia envelop me.

  62. Another resolution – remember to thank all the people in your life who make it better. Don’t assume that people know how much you appreciate them, because it’s possible that they have no idea.

    On that note – thanks, Shapelings. Learning to stop the deeply ingrained self hating body talk is hard, but there’s no question that it’s improving my life to try. It’s also amazing how much better life gets when you refuse to participate in other people’s diet talk. Which I personally wouldn’t be able to do without some sort of concrete proof that no, in fact, not everyone does it and it’s not inevitable.

    So thanks, all of you.

  63. I don’t start resolutions on January 1, but in 2010, I’ll continue to exercise a little every day (an injury kept me from exercising for over a year and I missed it and now I’ve lost a lot of strength, but it’s coming back slowly). I’ll finish rewriting my novel and try to get an agent. I’m moving next month and we’re hoping that we’ll be less messy in the new place.

  64. I feel a little weak to say this, but I am going on a bit of a diet. :/ Mostly trying to kick start my self into feeling better. If it doesn’t stick, I won’t kick myself, but I definitely will keep more of my favorite foods in the house (and they happen to be leafy, green, crunchy, juicey sort of things, so that’s a plus?)
    I plan to get back on my feet and try to work myself down to where I was before all the mess in my life started.
    I plan to get back on my feet in school as well. I…got an F last marking period in one of my favorite classes and I need to fix this. I’m struggling and I know it and I’m trying to make things better.
    I also plan to enjoy myself more <3 Stop working so much. Do all the things I used to but never have time for anymore.
    I AM DONE!

  65. I’m going to move into our first house, and make it our safe, quiet home.

    I’m going to plant a garden, and a tree. An apple tree. And I’m going to eat vegetables I have grown. And hopefully apples.

    I’m going to take a vacation to Portland, Oregon, and go to Voodoo Donut, because I completely forgot to last time. The theme for the first day driving home will be donuts. The second day driving home will probably be milkshakes. The last day driving home will be breakfast burritos, or possibly fish tacos.

    I’m going to hike in the redwoods and visit ancient forests. I’m going to be proud of my endurance and strength.

  66. I want to be able to focus more on academic stuff and work towards getting into a good college. I also want to write and record a lot more music than i did this year. starting a band would be nice.

    wow, my goals seem so much more tiny and insignifigant than everyone else’s. hahaah

  67. My goals are to find fun ways of getting active (such as Wii Fit Plus, which I’m finding a lot of fun), and read more non-fiction. I would also like to learn the entire Thriller routine.

  68. I’m going to have a baby, and like Ailbhe way up above, I’m going to do it without anyone walking all over me. It’s going to be tough enough being a single mom without also recovering from major abdominal surgery, thanks. (The pressure towards a C section starts awfully early, it seems.)

    And then, as soon as I can, I’m going to find a new job. So that I’m a happy mom, not just a mom-who-can-pay-the-mortgage. (Which yes, I’m grateful for. But long term, that’s not healthy.)

    Oh, and I’m going to cook more at home and eat out less.

  69. I resolve to do more for my health, my happiness, and my prosperity this year. And try vegetables again – maybe this will be the year I will like more than just carrots and broccoli!

  70. My big sugary bowl of Goal-O’s:

    (1) I want to pay more attention to what I am doing! Why am I still living with unpacked boxes six months after moving and starting a new job? Why do I seem to end up needing to spend $60 more a month than I have? Why do I sometimes eat/buy/accumulate/spend time on crap I really don’t want or need at all? Aaah! So basically: mindfulness.

    (2) (The corollary goal to that is to sometimes give myself a damned break, because, seriously.)

    (3) To be fully out and cool with myself as a bisexual and to work on dating ladies which is scary but awesome.

    (4) To practice joy as much as possible.

    (5) To keep reading SP every damn day because I am pretty sure it is making me a better person. (For sure it is making me a better feminist.)

  71. Mostly, I want to keep listening in my head to a Weakerthans lyric which I’ve been trying to make my mantra for a while now: “Stop those self-defeating lies you’ve been repeating.”

    More specifically: get finances in better shape/more organized. Keep up regular gym routine because it significantly lessens homicidal urges. ;-) Stay on top of grad school enough that it doesn’t give me anxiety attacks. Go to more live music. Continue to enjoy the hell out of sex with husband. Make out with more girls.

  72. I’ve got one resolution, and one watch-word for the year.

    The resolution is to have more music in the house, for my sake, and for my kids’ sakes.

    The word for the year is “pause”. I’m going to pause before I agree to do things, I’m going to pause to enjoy the moment, and I’m going to pause to just do nothing some times. I’ve just come off a year in which I did way too much, I’m not repeating that mistake!

  73. between now and christmas I will work on waiting for my broken heart to heal.
    I will write a thesis
    I will take steps in applying for 2011-intake civil service jobs
    I will go to the movies
    I will do things that are fun
    I will try to love myself, or at least not hate myself.
    I will make selfcomfort a priority
    I will trust the anti-depressants to keep on working

  74. Well, I suppose I should say that I should stop lurking so much at my favorite blogs and comment more! Your resolutions are all so inspirational, though.

    Mine is to attend to my spiritual, emotional, and intellectual growth, to travel along the lifelong path to becoming a woman of strength, integrity, and wisdom. It’s not something I can accomplish in a year, but it’s not a succeed/fail resolution, either.

    Part of ’emotional growth’ is getting past the ‘fat is ok for everyone but me’ thing Nina mentioned, and understanding that my body is an instrument, and a gift, and the way it looks just isn’t all that important.

  75. I will ride my bike in to work at least twice a week in the first month of the year – I stopped when I got sick in winter and now I am SO out of shape and feel gross. So I’ll work back up to being as active as I used to be, and like to be.

    I will find routine and rythm in my days that makes it easier to live the life I want – and I will abandon that routine whenever it makes my life better.

    I will get organised!

    I will assess my job and whether I want to stay and work better at it, or find a new, shiny, exciting job.

    I will make stuff!

  76. I have every intention of getting the laser hair removal for my chin and neck, looking after my feet better and making a number of personal changes and make the effort to blog about it!

  77. Other Becky, thanks for the cookie recipe! Funnily enough, the husband did give me a shiny new Kitchen-Aid stand mixer for Christmas. That totally sounds like a very gendered “little wife” gift, but he knows that I love to bake and that I’ve wanted that mixer since I started watching Martha Stewart in 2001. It’s one of my favorite gifts ever.

  78. I wrote myself a daunting lists of things-I-must-do in 2010, and have junked it all in favour of one ‘aim’ – self love. I am going to try to treat myself as if I were my own best friend. I’m 38 years old and this is very new to me! This includes things like taking my asthma meds as directed, getting exercise (I want to feel strong and energetic again) and eating the things I know make me feel good. And trying to love my own flawed self, as my friends and family do.

    And I am going to write (thanks Renatus for your comment). I am doing a creative writing course and it has opened up my life. I finally know what I want to be when I grow up!

  79. In 2010, I will:
    – look for a nicer job, in which I can put my considerable talents to work and be appreciated for it.
    – try to challenge myself intellectually by reading more academic books and articles (I finished grad school in the summer and it’s like I can feel myself become slower and less sharp)
    – improve my knitting skills by knitting more pretty things :)

  80. I’m not sure how I started this, but for me, the New Year begins the day after my birthday :) So, during that time, I reflect on where I’ve been, where I’d like to be, where I’d like to go and plot how to get there.

    This is really just the calendar year for me. I usually do lots of purging of documents, stuff I don’t want, etc, around this time.

  81. To copy a friend, my resolution is to be more awesome.

    More specifically, I want to use my newfound medications and health to get back into schoolwork. I also want to have lots of fun — going out with new people, parties, random hookups. (The good thing is that I’m finally at a point where I don’t feel like I always need to have a boyfriend or hookup, etc. Yay me.)

  82. My niece’s boyfriend inadvertently said “New Year’s revolutions” the other day. Best slip of the tongue ever! So resolve to have a revolution this year, even if it’s a quiet, internal one.

  83. My goal is to no longer spend so much time and emotional energy on people who I know will not appreciate or return it. That’s…harder than it sounds. But necessary.

  84. i-geek, we have a kitchenaid mixer, a hand me down one where hubby fixed some brushes in the motor so it worked again; and he uses it more than I do, so not necessarily a gendered gift! Plus, good tools are fun, no matter what they’re for.

    Grogette, don’t fret so much about coffee, unless you’re prone to high blood pressure, it’s probably more good for you than bad for you:


    My own resolution is perpetual, be more organized, use my time better.

  85. Every year I resolve to drink more water (it helps my digestion, my mood, my skin, and my sleep) and every year I somehow forget somewhere around April to keep it up. But I’m resolving again, because four months of water drinking is better than nothing.

  86. I don’t make resolutions anymore. But I WILL get my transcripts ready and get my ass back in school – I’ve been wanting it for a looooong time now. So yeah, I’m ready to go back to school.

  87. My theme for the year is integration – to stop seeing my body as this awkward, awful luggage I carry around, and to make my mind-body gap less of a ginormous chasm.

  88. But I WILL get my transcripts ready and get my ass back in school – I’ve been wanting it for a looooong time now. So yeah, I’m ready to go back to school.

    Me to!! *hi fives DW*

    I’m going back to school, and getting my driver’s license, hopefully before my 25th birthday (August 8). I also would like to get back on my anti-depressant.

  89. I’m going to train for and run a 1/2 marathon this year! I’d also like to publish 2 more papers this year and have my thesis finished before 2011. Those are the big ones.

    Smaller goals: I’d like to do the 30-day challenge on EA Active. This time of year is very hard for me due to only 8 hours of daylight and severe cold. I think exercise can help with that. I’m trying to be more mindful in my spending, especially on clothing/shoes. And I want to cross stitch more.

  90. Miguel: Your goals are not trivial! They are, in fact, very important. You’re just in a different phase of life.

    I’m going to indulge in a little analysis and philosophizing. I do not intend to be condescending; if I sound that way, please forgive me.

    In the time you’ve been commenting at Shapely Prose, your writing has improved significantly. You are thoughtful and funny — that combination is a key indicator of “smart” in my book. My advice, as someone who works for a fairly prestigious school, is not to be sucked in by big names. Look for a school that’s good for you, not just a school that’s highly ranked. I don’t know how good the high schools are where you’re from. If they’re good, don’t worry, but if they’re not, look for a college that has organized support systems for students from not-so-good high schools. I say this because I have seen so many bright, motivated, hard-working students (usually POCs) crash and burn because the college I work for doesn’t do that, and it makes me want to scream and throw things, but I need my job.

    On a lighter note, if you’re applying to funky liberal-arts schools, mentioning (in the extracurricular/recreational section of the application) that you’re a regular commenter on a take-no-prisoners feminist blog and have not had your ass kicked up between your ears might not be a bad thing.

  91. My resolutions this year are to finish the projects I start and balance housekeeping with my full-time job that I’m very grateful to hold right now. I’m going to start working on the latter resolution right now and begin cleaning the living room with Mr. Detta!

  92. I’m looking at 2010 as the year of what happens, happens. If I leave a trail of carnage in my wake…well, I’ll try to clean up after myself.

  93. Not a resolution, just a fact:

    I’m getting married!

    My fiancee’s Visa should be approved in the next month, she’ll be here and then we’re running off and eloping. We’ve been working on this for a whole damned year and I’m soooooo happy she’ll be here soon and we can start our life together.

  94. Other Becky: thanks! :] I do go to a very good high school luckily. Its not so much preparing for college that worries me; its more the fact that i feel so apathetic towards it. My older brother is a really intelligent guy, albeit immature, and he went to Columbia University for about a year and a half before he flunked out. And it wasn’t for lack of intelligence, becuase he’s a lot smarter than I am, and probably smarter than my sister who’s also going to Columbia and is doing really well so far. The difference is in how motivated and hard-working they are, and I worry that my work ethic is more in line with my brother’s than my sisters. My brother’s really stressed my family out a lot when he flunked out, and even more so when he went to join the Marines. So that’s what I really want to improve this year.

    Meanwhile, my entire family has gone to Columbia, so I feel kinda obligated to go there. hahahah.

  95. Miguel, you confuse me! How is getting into college an insignificant goal!?! XD

    I come from one of those towns where all the kids are *obsessed* with college admissions, from the age of about thirteen. To be honest, it was all a bit soul-killing. My friends all went to Ivy league schools. I was a rebel, and chose a tiny liberal arts college, halfway across the country. Overall, I think I got as good an education as my friends who went to Harvard, Stanford, and MIT, and was happier along the way.

    So, my unsolicited advice to you is this: don’t sell yourself short, and do apply to good schools. But don’t obsess about getting into the most prestigious program possible. Find a place that feels right for you.

    One of *my* goals for this year is to finish applying to graduate schools. I’m not sure if I’m qualified, for reasons that are entirely my own fault. If I get in somewhere good, wonderful. If not, then I resolve to find something else awesome to do with myself until the next admissions cycle. And…um..*not* have a personal crises.

    Happy new year, Shapelings!
    SM 3.0

  96. I was just thinking last night that I live my life everyday in a way that makes me happy so the new year is a new year, but I do vow to be more diligent with my studies this semester and now that I’m armed with Kate and Marianne’s awesome book and HAES, I’m going to do my best to be healthy for me.

  97. I want to do a better job of keeping my home clean this year – I know I can do it, since I kept the place at a creepy, near-Martha-esque state of magazine photo readiness for the first year or so after I moved in, but that’s not really what I’m going for any more. I’ve just learned that my mental state is much improved if I take the extra minute to put things like shoes and books and hoodies away rather than if I just leave them where they land when I get home. And I want to run the vacuum at least once a month, since dark blue carpet shows EVERYTHING.

    I want to ride my bike more often. I’m hoping that getting a basket for it will make it my go-to option for running around-town errands on the weekends, instead of the car.

    I want to bake more, starting with either the hot chocolate cake here: http://www.finecooking.com/recipes/hot-chocolate-layer-cake-homemade-marshmallows.aspx or the chocolate and peanut butter layer cake from smitten kitchen.

  98. This year I want to teach myself that my value is more than a high score on an evaluation, or a to do list all finished, or having accounted for every detail, or a contingency plan for every outcome. Every time I feel guilty for not meeting the goals that I set or are set for me I will remind myself that those goals are arbitrary and my worth is not. I will break the circle of negative self-talk by complimenting myself, out loud, as many times as it takes to stop stumbling back into the endless rut of “If I just try a little harder…” that I have carved into the depths of my psyche.

  99. Resolutions:
    1. Get involved in the county Democratic committee.
    2. Get out of the house and hear more live music.
    3. Don’t get any more pets.

  100. – Dance classes
    – Draw a picture a week
    – Eat meat once a month (I did this pretty much this year), eat fish once a week (gonna be TOUGH. But I worry about the oceans a lot)

    Be more of an activist. Decide, and act on, my career path. Waste less.

  101. Wait, Miguel, you’re not even college age yet? In that case, honestly, you’re doing great so far. You’ll be fine. Having a poor work ethic at college, though…yeah, I recognise that issue. The upside is that if you’re smart enough you can sort of cruise through without putting in that much work in most cases (um, not that I went through a whole term only attending one lecture out of every twelve or anything…), but looking back I’d say you’d probably get more out of the experience in the end if you do put in some effort. It’s motivating yourself to do so that’s the hard part. Which is going to be hard when you’re in NYC and there are so many other things to do (I was in London, same issue). Maybe try to hang out with your sister and hope her attitude rubs off on you?

  102. Going on a 4-month trip to Asia and New Zealand with my sister. Woo!

    On a life-related level, my goals are having more fun and being a little more tidy/organised.

    Which are totally not contradictory because being a little more organised will sort out the stress, last minute panic and where-the-fuck-is-this unneccesariness, and give me more time to do the stuff I enjoy without constant worrying and unhappiness. As will jettisoning anything that doesn’t work for me — all the mental, time-sucking and physical clutter. Giving myself permission to do that this year is going to be awesome. And writing stuff down! Man I am going to be doing that a lot.

    I want a fun year, well spent, that I can look back on with happiness. And whatever happens along the way, happens.

  103. Now I’ve had a chance to sit down and think about it, I have a ton of things.

    Improve my health, mentally and physically – the two being, I think, pretty conclusively linked.

    Specifically, get my teeth sorted. I’ve had a big dental phobia and not gone as often as I should for a number of years. Since the NHS dentist I’ve now found and registered with (only those of you in the UK will fully appreciate that) appears to be good with nervous patients, didn’t immediately tell me my teeth were all screwed and would have to come out, and managed to sort out my gum infection in time for me to have an at least tolerable Christmas vacation, I think sticking with him would be a good thing.

    Deal with my free-floating anxiety – medication not having been particularly successful on that front, I think I’m looking at finding a counsellor. Get my head round the family baggage I’m still not dealing with very effectively. Also, look more seriously into getting a formal diagnosis of Asperger syndrome. I’ve suspected it for a couple of years, but have been holding off to get an idea of how useful diagnosis would be and how it would affect work and other areas of my life.

    Find an attorney this side of the pond (I’m in the UK) who deals with US immigration issues, and find out about current visa possibilities. Hubby and I have been mulling over moving to the US for five years now, but hedged about this one too long from uncertainty as to what the rules actually are.

    I also have a ton of incomplete creative projects – zines, songwriting, artwork and so forth – that need a) completing, and b) doing something with to get them out there in the world.

    My tiny goal for tonight, though, is just to take these pills the out-of-hours doc gave me and get something like a full night’s sleep for the first time this week. Worst. Jetlag. Ever. Officially.

  104. Addendum: And at some point this year, find a body-friendly adult ballet class within easy traveling distance of me, if that’s not a tall order.

    And, CassandraSays, can I just say that your last paragraph is made of win? From someone who’s had leanings towards Buddhism but have never felt I was ‘good enough’ at all that stuff to be one properly…which says a lot about how much I need to hear this kind of thing.

  105. Miguel: I just graduated college in June, so I’m pretty close to where you are =) My advice: people will tell you that you can be happy anywhere and should therefore go to the school that offers you the best aid package/with the best reputation/with the most name recognition/that your parents went to. Don’t believe them. Can you make a place for yourself anywhere? More or less, yeah. But there is without question someplace that is ideal for you, someplace where you will be not just happy but happiest, and if you can figure out where that place is, pursue it with all your energy, even if it’s not as famous.

    As far as your work ethic goes, I think it’s a good sign that you’ve identified that potential problem this early. Keep it in mind when you’re applying to schools! I went to the University of Chicago, which is on quarters rather than semesters (three academic units per year instead of two), and I’ve known very smart people who do very poorly at the U of C because their work habits are not well matched to the levels of intensity and pressure the quarter system begets. That’s not a negative judgement on them – people are very very different, and different people thrive in different environments. But be aware of the extremely varied ideologies that exist at various universities, and try to choose a university that will be a good fit with your personal work habits and academic ideology.

  106. I’ve resolved to spend more time with my extended family and be kinder on myself. I’d like to build some muscles too, so carrying groceries for a half mile home wont leave my neck and shoulders aching the next day! Happy New Year, Shapelings!

  107. End procrastination!

    Here’s a good link for my fellow procrastinators:

    He has a podcast… he starts every episode carefully apologizing for the long gap between episodes but explaining why it wasn’t procrastination because he had so much else going on. It’s kind of adorable.

  108. Saharial–getting laser hair removal has been such an amazing GIFT to myself! It can be pricey, but if you can afford it/spare the money, go for it! I feel so much better about myself and my body, and as much as I am a body-affirming feminist, etc etc, the particular body hair I had removed (and other areas that I’m currently getting lasered) left me feeling horrible about myself. I am a real prosletizer for laser hair removal, can you tell?!

  109. I have some things I’m NOT going to do: I will not feel badly for being human. I will sometimes yell at my kids (especially when one of them is yanking my hair and WILL NOT let go), and that doesn’t make me a bad mother. Sometimes I will eat too much. Sometimes I’ll go to bed late, buy too many books, drink too much coffee, etc. It does NOT make me a bad person, a failure, or in need of a makeover.
    I will NOT listen to the so-called “experts.” I WILL listen to people I know and trust. If I want a cookie (or some coffee cake, or a slice of pie), I will have one, and not listen to the negative voices.
    I will stop, as much as possible, spending time and energy on things and people that do not enrich my and my families’ lives, just because I think I “should.”
    I will try to banish the word “should” from my vocabulary.

  110. I’ve been meaning to make a list so here’s the rough draft anyway…

    1) make time to do enjoyable exercise for relaxation and strength

    2) learn 10 new DELICIOUS recipes

    3) read a little bit every day

    4) aggressively explore my new hometown in CA, which my husband and I will be moving to in 2 weeks!

    5) find a job that I love

    6) work hard at making new friendships

  111. I will:

    1. Stop worrying that people don’t like me. Stop making excuses for not talking to people. Stop sabotaging any and all potential friendships.

    2. Finish writing and editing my novel.

    3. Keep writing in my paper journal.

    4. Get a job.

    5. Stay healthy, happy and sane.

  112. get a new job (my division is being eliminated so I’m out of work in a month)
    get a kitten (I have two old lady cats now, but one still thinks she’s a kitten and needs a playmate)
    do my back/leg stretching exercises once a day.
    have more fun
    try to be better about expressing my feelings, both good and bad

  113. My resolutions for 2010 are:

    -finish my master’s degree
    -do more writing
    -capitalize on an opportunity that I was very fortunate to be given this year…it might very well lead my life in a completely different direction than where it has been going, and I am going to try and not be afraid of that!

  114. This is what I updated my Facebook status to: Fuck losing weight and fuck my goddamned ED. This year, my resolution is to try to be kind to myself regardless of my size.

    In all of my 32 years, this is the first year since I was 8 years old that my resolution hasn’t involved weight loss.

    Kate, SM, Fillyjonk, Snarky’s, and all of the other SP commenters: THANK YOU. This blog has helped me crawl out of the anorexia relapse rabbit-hole and has provided me with comfort and support beyond words.

  115. Whoops, I just realized that I left out A Sarah! It wasn’t intentional, and I thank you as well.

  116. My resolutions, which are on my blog, involve my happy fat-ass self and my happy fat-ass boyfriend getting it on in newer, kinkier ways.

  117. Also, I resolve not to mutter imprecations about whomever it was here at SP that recommended The Strain as an interesting modern vampire novel, given that I now have to wait until SEPTEMBER for the sequel. (And until 2011 for the conclusion to the trilogy.)

  118. hopefully save some money, maybe get better at swimming miles faster. the only food related one is that i like to get a lot of fruits in my day (yum) so i’m gonna aim for more. no weight loss though. oh. and i also want to start replacing judgment with curiosity. i think that’d be the most important one for me.

  119. @lasersloth: Where in CA are you moving to? I’m in the Bay Area. Also, if you have ideas of the sorts of ‘delicious recipes’ you’d like to learn to make, I have a huge library of cookbooks and a great fondness for passing on recipes. I’m just saying.

  120. I’m not usually one for resolutions, but there are a few things I’m working on:

    1. I want to get in the habit of involving some sort of regular activity in my life. I just feel better when I exercise regularly, and start to get restless legs at night when I don’t. To that end, a friend and I signed up for a 6-week bellydance class.

    2. I want to get better at eating intuitively and mindfully. I’m working on it, but I think that doing more of my own cooking would help.

    3. It would take something disastrous for this not to happen, but I also plan on finishing my master’s degree this May.

  121. I want to take a step forward in my career…and in fact am THIS close (ok, maybe t h i s close) to finishing grad school applications to do so.

    I want to get married to my girlfriend. Which would also require a change in the law, in my state, but nothing wrong with thinking big!

    And most importantly I want to be good to myself – not yell mean things at myself in my head when I’m mad, feed myself well, get outdoors and leave work sometimes, etc. That’s gonna be the hardest one. (Well, maybe not harder than getting same-sex marriage into law!)

  122. Jerome, YAY! I looked at myself in the mirror in my parents’ house this morning and thought, “Oh, I should lose . . . [pause] . . . huh. Actually, I’m looking cute. Never mind.” It was the same mirror in which I looked at myself at eleven and thirteen and fifteen and hated what I saw. Kind of a sobering New Year’s memory for me, really.

  123. This year I will try to maintain emotional equilibrium when my boss is raining emotional low blows (abuse) upon me. To truly believe that I don’t deserve that treatment, and even if I were the lazy and arrogant person person that he makes me out to be, I still wouldn’t deserve that treatment.

    I will also develop a plan for what I would do if I lost my job.

  124. There’s nothing like an open thread about resolutions to help one feel a little less alone in the universe.

    I have been feeling lonely lately, and so I would like to connect with more people that don’t have to do with my work, whether it be over the phone or in person or even over the internet.

    The year 2009 was filled with healing for me, and so I’d like 2010 to be filled with strengthening.

    Ixnay on the ietsday for the new year. I would like to keep up my gentle yoga and daily short walks with the wiener dog.

    Above all, I would like to love others and show compassion more fully.

  125. Just wanted to stop by and say that reading everyone’s goals/plans/hopes for the new year is very encouraging. :)

  126. 1. Make my apartment a more pleasant space for my dog and me to occupy. Get things organized, get rid of stuff I don’t like or need, and strive to keep it that way.
    2. Make my body a more pleasant space for my mind and soul to occupy. And by this, I mean taking my vitamins regularly, moving more, and being mindful of what my body needs.
    3. Do more things worth photographing, whether I have people with me or I’m flying solo. I miss out on a lot of stuff because I usually won’t go unless I know someone there. I’m ready to challenge myself to do things I want to do on my own.
    4. Save more money! Keep track of what I spend and start paring it down.
    5. Travel abroad! I’ve never been, and I’m a Spanish teacher. It’s something that makes me feel inadequate in my job, and I want to change that.

  127. This is sanity making. Over on Facebook, status updates are full of resolutions to return to Weight Watchers and the like. And I’m pretty shy about my FA, so all I’ve mustered there is to comment on one friend’s status : (Or, next time you are hungry, eat. When you are satisfied, stop. And then move your body in ways that feel good. Happy New Year!). And then I scuttled back over here to be reminded that I’m not the only one in the world who believes this. Thank you, Shapely Prose!

  128. I normally don’t make resolutions, but this year I vow to stop smoking completely, before it becomes a regular, serious habit; start running four or five days a week instead of the one time a week; and find an apartment somewhere that isn’t in the middle of nowhere.

  129. I want to find a balance between schoolwork and everything else in my life. Similarly, I will not begrudge myself the time I spend on non-academic pursuits, knowing that doing so does not decrease my inability to live and die with my textbooks.

    To that end, I want to rekindle my love of learning irrespective of my classes/grades. Reading books, watching lectures online, teaching myself Esperanto- these are all things that I know will make me more fulfilled as a person.

    I also want to exercise on a regular basis. It makes me feel amazing; and it gives my body a purpose beyond being an object of other people’s lust or ridicule. Also, I will stop associating with people who find occasion to both lust after AND ridicule my body. I can do

  130. I plan to search for some form of attractive storage cabinet for all my craft supplies. I’m tired of having them all over three rooms, in crappy cheap plastic milk crate thingies.

  131. I’m not going to “diet” but I have resolved to eat healthier. I will not keep this resolution, or make a respectable go of it.

    I resolve to read fewer websites and more books.

    I resolve to treat the new girl better than any of the old girls.

    I resolve to talk more to people and less to my dog (as per request of the dog).

    I will not procrastinate in school, as much.

    I will not use illness/surgery as an excuse any more than I can help.

    I will not use my student loan money to buy Starcraft II and a fast honkin’ graphics card to play it on.

    Ditto for Dragon Age.

  132. Resolution #1: Cast my bread upon the waters. Some of it, anyway. I am participating in microlending through Kiva.org. It’s a way that a low-income person like me can help lift truly impoverished people out of poverty, through entrepreneurship. Even I can afford $25, especially since I get my money back.

  133. Take a bath in our clawfoot cast iron tub as often as I can, ideally once a weekend, and fully enjoy it. And if I don’t get to the bath — not to feel bad about it.

  134. I don’t really believe in resolutions, but things I’ve been planning for the oncoming year:
    – Learn to play the guitar. Music theory and advanced vocal practice are also possibilities.
    – Finish my army service, start school and find a part-time job.
    – Write more, maybe finish my novel-like project.
    – Refresh my wardrobe – half the things I own my mom bought me when I was in high school, for crying out loud.
    – Try programming for fun.
    – Cook more, let husband do the dishes. :)

  135. I am due with my second child in 9 days. Whomever said (Claire?) that they hoped not to kill their child in a state of extreme tiredness – I’m right there with you.

    I would like to take up running again this year because I truly enjoyed it. I was going to do this last year but, well, you know how that turned out! I hope to participate in a 5K or two for charity and run all the way, even if it takes me an hour!

    Other than that, I’m going to try and remain mindful of my favorite Viktor Frankl quote. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” I intend to embrace the space!

  136. I’m going to stop eating and drinking the following:

    Earwax from mice
    Tears from a lost pilgrim
    Fronds from a dickensian whore’s underskirt
    Eggnog from the Vicar’s table
    Scrumpy from the village idiot’s barrel
    Books that smell of mould
    Paper that I’ve written the word “Arse” on
    Bits of my neighbours wall
    Lace from a widow’s bottom drawer
    Grease from under the cooker

    Apart from the above, I’ll be eating and drinking precisely what I want all 2010, but I appreciate you do have to make some sacrifices, so I’ll be sticking to the list above with a true heart felt fervour.

  137. Bits of my neighbours wall

    But what if your neighbor is a witch who lives in a scrumptious gingerbread cottage, with sugarpane windows and chocolate doors? Did you think of that, huh, paintmonkey? Didja?

  138. Since this is an open thread of sorts, I thought I’d inform you all that I’ve been rubbing off on my super religious, conservative friend and I resolve in the New Year to continue to have a positive affect on her and all those around me. I will not cower in the face of opposition.

    She’s started to see the world through feminist eyes and she doesn’t like what she sees. It’s amazing and I’m very proud.

  139. In 2010 I will exercise in a comfortable way and I will feel my body get stronger as I do. And I will continue to let my body tell me what it needs – be it food, water, sleep or telling people to f*ck off before they drive me crazy.

  140. Thalia – “But what if your neighbor is a witch who lives in a scrumptious gingerbread cottage, with sugarpane windows and chocolate doors? Did you think of that, huh, paintmonkey? Didja?”
    Sadly my lovely, you are spot on and bullseye correct. My neighbour IS a witch and lives in an edible house, which is precisely why it’s such a strain to stop eating her walls. I’ve tried in the past to break roof tiles off when she wasnt looking because they are large and keep me going for a while, but she notices. She sent the flying monkeys round once when I snapped her window frames off (they are minty), and I had to fight them off with rolled up magazines.
    I’ve tried baking replacement bricks, but to be truthful, my baking tastes like shit comared to heres, because she’s using the powers of the underworld to do her cooking, so obviously it gives her an edge.

    If anyone knows how to stop eating witches houses I’d be grateful.

  141. “I’ve tried baking replacement bricks, but to be truthful, my baking tastes like shit comared to heres”
    Dear god – my misery is making me spell horribly. I meant to say ” I’ve tried baking replacement bricks, but to be truthful, my baking tastes like shit compared to hers.”
    Sorry about that. Being starved of gingerbread makes me go funny.

  142. This is the first year that didn’t involve diet-y resolutions, so that’s a victory by itself. I am:

    1. Doing write365. I’m writing a bit everyday, whether I think it’s good or not and not deleting it.

    2. Sex! Maybe this should be one, actually. I’m pursuing a sex-only relationship with someone as we speak.

    3. I’m looking into moving to a larger, more liberal city with some actual services (Planned Parenthood, for instance) and a more open attitude toward queerness of all flavors. Which leads me to…

    4. Dating people, women included.

    5. Remembering not to stress. Worrying doesn’t fix anything and will ultimately make me sick.

  143. @ Twistie

    I’ll be in Cupertino! So probably pretty close by! I would love to have a cooking party if we’re going to be nearly neighbors… :)

  144. Ah-HA! So that’s why my roof leaks and the monkeys have been sulking, poor dears.

    (Though for the record, it’s not the power of Satan that makes my cooking excellent; really it’s as simple as replacing shortening with butter.)

  145. De-lurking to put my goals in writing!

    This year, I want to go back to college. Mostly because I’ve realized that I don’t like my low-paying, non-intellectually-challenging-but-time-and-soul-devouring “career” and I want to go into something that makes my brain itch more.
    Corollaries to this are:
    -Making sure I’m at least somewhat financially prepared for school. I’ve already partly accomplished this, so I just have to keep being frugal and staying on my money goals.
    -Stop procrastinating and apply to the school already.

    I also want to get into better shape. I’m starting with the “couch to 5K” running program that I found on the internet, because it seems totally doable, and also I regularly walk the 5 km to work and back, so it’s not too much of a stretch to work up to running that distance.

    Another thing I’d like to accomplish this year is getting my motorcycle license. I live in a totally beautiful part of the world and it seems like that would be a fun way to explore it. Also, motorcycles are badass.

  146. Thalia -“really it’s as simple as replacing shortening with butter”

    Oh. I thought it was more mystical than that…I’ll try doing it myself, and if it works, I’ll stop eating your house, promise.
    Can I keep on keep on nibbling the grass though, its coconutty and sweet.

  147. I don’t make resolutions because I dislike arbitrary deadlines (or start times, really). The only thing I want for this year is to be able to look back and not say “all I managed to do was survive.” Because 2009 was so horrible that surviving it was all the triumph I could claim.

    Also I’m getting a hair cut. I didn’t get one once in the entirety of 2009, for monetary reasons more than anything else, but I am scraping together the funds because I want the dead weight off my head and heart. Symbolically, to let go of all the unhappiness I grew in the past year. Also I always look really cute with short hair and it’s easier to maintain. XD

    There’s a new job going to happen somehow as well, but I am not resolving that. It’s more a matter of “if I don’t find one I’ll end up getting fired at my current job because I hate it there so much”.

    A friend of mine who is a bit older than me also had a really bad 2009 (worse than mine in some ways) and she decided to proclaim 2010 her “Year of Living Graciously”. To that end she began a blog for it, which can be found here. She’s a great writer and an amazing woman, so it’s sure to be a great read.

  148. This year I will work on working with Doctors that RESPECT me. No more getting pushed aside because of my weight or other reasons. No more surgeons who take me in for a 5 hour surgery and then come out 8 hours later only to tell nervously waiting mom and husband straight out “she needs to loose weight” instead of giving useful information about the surgery and owning up that it was because of ill fitting brackets and screws that caused the problem and had nothing to do with my weight. Also no more of the same surgeon who not only thought it was incredibly funny that I spent 4 days out of 9 hallucinating to the point of complete panic that everyone was out to kill me, but then when the surgery didn’t help after a few months ignoring my growing and debilitating pain.

    I’m seeing these doctors for a reason, and I deserve the best damnit!

  149. My resolutions are(n’t, since I don’t make them, but if I did, they would be):

    — More sex.
    — Somehow manage to arrange schedule at law school so I can keep doing yoga, because I hurt when I don’t. (Bad hip.)
    — Not fail out of law school.

    (It is not likely that I will fail out of law school, all things considered, but I still feel as if it’s a goal to keep in mind.)

  150. May I interrupt for a minute to inform you that at Sociological Images, there’s the first non-rage-inducing discussion of fatness that I’ve ever seen outside of the fatosphere? Even the anti-fat people are so reasonable about it, you can lead actual, productive discussions, it’s unbelievable.

    It’s perfect if you only want to spend the Sanity Watchers points equivalent of, say, carrot sticks today.

  151. I think my resolution is to try and do the things that I feel make me a more responsible adult. Get the household budget in order. Pay off some of our credit card debt. Go to the dentist twice this year. That kind of thing.

  152. Someone upthread mentioned Christine Kane’s blog idea regarding picking a single word for the year and use it as a guide. I tend to be hot and cold with the blog itself, but I did enjoy that idea. So for 2010 my word is Create.

    As in:
    * create an Art Journal
    *plan, design and remodel perfect home office in the dormant guest room, which has never housed a single guest.
    *redesign living room (Feb)
    *learn to cook non gas station-esque foods
    *make another zine
    *host a banging 37th birthday party.

    and so forth.

  153. 1) Be kinder to people. More gestures, less gossip, less judgement.
    2) Exercise and dance a lot more.
    3) Do more creative stuff, like learning to sew or take photographs.

  154. I’m going to try not to stress unproductively, and therefore grow my bitten nails. Also, I’m going to try to remember that stressing because I bit my nails is unproductive.

    And I’m going to try to cook more dinners that I can put the word “surprise” after.

    Like “tuna surprise” which is a dinner my dad used to cook roughly once a week, and “leftover surprise”, which is what my mum still cooks if you let her near the fridge. Yesterday I cooked “baked surprise”, which is what happens when you find ingredients that complement each other, cover them in cheese sauce and put them in the oven!

  155. I think my word for the year is “dream.” I just recently realized that I had dreams one and around the age of 12 started squashing them down. I turn 29 in less than 2 weeks and I’m ready to start pursuing my dreams.

    1. I always dreamed of being a hero. I don’t have a cape but I can volunteer at the middle school. I don’t have jack-boots but I can donate money to organizations that are heroic. I don’t have a kick-ass sword but I can be a better friend.

    2. I dreamed of being a lawyer. I’m finishing my first year of college. Being a lawyer may be many years away but getting good grades and challenging myself is here and now.

    3. I dreamed of being a writer. I do not have a novel in the works but I can blog more often.

    4. I dreamed of being completely open and honest. It’s time my family and I talked openly about my atheism. It’s time I admitted that I’m not always okay and sought help for my seasonal depression. It’s time I talked openly and honestly about my emotions, scary as they are at times. This is where #3 comes in. If I will be open about my feelings, I’ll have things to blog about.

    This is a year to dream. It’s a year to stretch my wings and see if I can fly. Maybe I’ll get that cape yet!

  156. Happy New year!

    Just reading through this blog and the book “Healthy at any size” has given me the last bit of courage to dump my dieting/logging every morsel I eat ways, and start on the road to self acceptance! Thank you for the needed inspiration and support!

    So here are my resolutions:

    1. quit dieting and quite the on-line program for weight loss I was doing, on which people disguised fat bias behind *helpful comments* and their own fears

    2. love myself for who I am TODAY and always!

    3. go to more happy hours!

    4. flirt more

    5. wear clothes that make me happy

    6. eat more whole , high quality foods

    7. enjoy every bite I eat of everything I eat

    8. run for the feeling of freedom

    9. run a 5k in honor of my mom

    10. take salsa classes and shake it!

    11. practice kindness and non-judgment, when possible <3

  157. I resolve to shovel my *whole* driveway when it snows, and not just half of it so I can get my car into the garage…because eventually it snows SOME MORE and then that unshoveled half becomes completely ridiculous. Sweet fancy moses, my back…

    I also resolve to listen to more E.L.O.

  158. My resolutions? Haven’t thought about it too much yet. Here goes:

    1. Don’t let wedding planning ruin my wedding.
    2. Get more exercise. I feel physically and emotionally better when I get at least an hour of exercise 4-5 days a week.
    3. Language practice every work day: grammar & vocab drills + translation.
    4. Write half the dissertation this year.
    5. Clean out the closets.
    6. Volunteer with my local Girl Scout council.

  159. I had a lot of things that I wanted to address via resolutions so I summed it up as follows:

    To fearlessly embrace my fabulosity and to create love and joy, always being mindful of the needs of others, wherever I go.

    Happy New Year, everyone!

  160. I think I’m taking my word of the year from this week’s Car Talk: monotasking. I need to start fully living in each moment, not giving everything half-assed attention.

  161. -Rock climbing: I have been wanting to do it for quite some time, and this year, it’s happening!
    -Get a summer job
    -Learn to sew: I wanna make my own clothes since too many of the damn stores won’t.
    -Party like a rockstar for my 21st birthday! ^_^
    -Get back to my twice a week workout schedule (damn microbiology taking my time last semester… >_<)
    -See if I can try out for plus sized modeling. I have a friend who is into modeling, so maybe he can help me out.

  162. Get my associates!
    Also, I want to actually sell some of the things I make instead of just talking about it. It’s time to find out if I actually can make a living off my art.

  163. I will finally get my act together and formally change my name to married name on assorted paraphenalia. (After over a year). It is too confusing having a driver’s licence in one name and a passport in another, an email addy in one name and the signanture block another. Also, the dual signatures are too hard! So the resolution: name commit!

    Also: eat breakfast each day (am currently a shocker for just grabbing a coffee at work), cook dinner at least once a week (as spending far too much money eating out constantly… but so much nicer to have others cook for you!), and start sewing more so that I can branch out from baby clothes into items for individuals old enough to complain if the seams are shite :)

  164. actually, i am going on “a diet”. I’m going on the giving-up-meat diet – trying vegetarianism, we’ll see what comes of it.

  165. My resolutions are more about actions needed to be taken, rather than just letting sleeping dogs lie.

    1) Finish up my UFO (un-finished objects) pile in craft room. I have two quilts pending the final quilting phase, several wall hangings awaiting borders and quilting, some embroidered pieces seeking purpose, etc.

    2) Get my act together and try doing a craft show. I make really nice doll clothes for American Girl and Barbie sizes– there have been several craft shows looking for someone to bring it on. I could be that person.

    3) More purpose in my time with my kids. Less time vegging, more time working on projects, goals they set (like scout badges, building cardboard Hogwarts castles, etc).

    4) Taking on new challenges at work- already set to do a training this month– something I have NEVER done before.

    5) ANd of course– household projects. Need to repaint two rooms and repaint most of the trimwork in my house. Geez- who would think 4 kids could sneak writing on walls so much?

    6) The biggie- finances. As a family we are VERY frugal and good at keeping on budget- but I need to keep it going that way. Case in point- our $100K mortgage is down to $30K owed in only 6 years. The siding on our house (put on last summer) was $15K and I only owe $2k. I am the sole breadwinner in the family of 6 and we live on $54K/yr- plus have spent down on our debts (the mortgage and the siding). The saying in our house is “We pinch a penny so tight, Lincoln cries.”

  166. Ms. Laurie, cooking after a long day can be too much, so I often start something in the crockpot in the morning and just have something trivial like noodles to cook to go with it in the evening. Almost as good as having someone else do the cooking. Spaghetti, chili, split pea soup are all good candidates for long cooking.

    Off-topic, I just found a wonderful BBC mystery show called New Tricks. Basically, the woman in charge (I forget the British title for her position) screws up and is punished by being made to start a program for checking over other open cases with retired detectives. They’re all older men of course, since retired and women were less common in the force at that time. Anyway, I really like how all the characters are treated as real people with real problems; and also the woman in charge is at least hollywood fat and also obviously in her forties, no face lifts for this actress–it gives her some real expressiveness when you see the wrinkles emphasizing how her face moves. And she’s presented as very attractive (she would be in real life of course, but so often women her age in film are not).

    Um. Sorry to be so long; but it really needed to be shared.

  167. My goals for 2010:
    Figure out wtf I want to do with my career (if I even want a “career” per se). I’ve been treading water for too long.

    Put a few thousand $$$ in emergency savings and pay off some debts.

    Start doing yoga again. I feel so much better, physically and mentally, when I practice regularly.

    Be patient but firm with myself in trying to reach my goals. (This one will probably be the hardest.)

  168. I’m going to do more exercise, because I want to be fitter and able to run. And whilst I realise that might never happen I’d be upset if I never even tried to get there. I also want to learn horseriding.

    And stay out of my overdraft.

    And to continue not owning a car or flying anywhere on holiday. With optional extra of trying to reduce carbon footprint further.

  169. * I bought a bunch of books on Adobe Creative Suite after I bought it, and want to read them all.
    * Finish my Flash videogame and make it available to the public. It’s already taking longer than I expected due to my procrastination.
    * Blog at least every Friday.
    * Don’t buy clothes unless they actually fit, or if I desperately need that item, in which case get it tailored even though it’s expensive.
    * Eat veggies more often.

  170. I gave up soda pop (diet and regular). I just suddenly realized that I was drinking chemicals and it creeped me out. I also plan to start swimming again and clean out my closet! Not too exciting!

  171. -Top priority: kick ass in grad school, so as to get my MLIS in 2 years whilst working full-time.

    -Save up for a real, proper vacation. Hell, save some money in general.

    -Sew more.

    -Exercise for fun and not get all twitchy if that means not having a set workout routine.

    -Take more pictures.

  172. Oh, I also came up with a New Decade* Resolution to Be More Awesome.

    *I switch over from an age-ending-in-zero to an age-ending-in-one, it’s a decade for me.

  173. My resolution is to stop being my own worst critic and start being my biggest cheerleader. This is an AWESOME resolution and I am a total badass for making it! ;-)

  174. My resolution is to finally get up the nerve to breakup with my boyfriend of 6 years. I have been thinking about it for 6 months and just can’t get myself to do it.

    There is nothing terrible about the relationship but nothing good either. I keep trying to accept that I deserve better then “ho-hum” but it is hard. Very hard. I will miss him in many ways.

  175. Hi, this website is pretty new to me, it is not like anything I’ve ever read before.

    Interesting that so many people here want to be writers. . . I used to work as an editor and (legal) author. But have no current inclination to write a novel.

    I love coming here, it is a unique place in my world, you guys (generic term, no offence intended) rock.

    Resolutions: I could agree with about 80% of what is already written – be more active, eat less junk, stop drinking chemicals, love myself more, finish what I start, apply myself.

    But I am not sure that a human being can change. Or at least not easily, and definitely not just cos the calendar flipped a page.

  176. – Drive depression out of my life by any means necessary, barring any meds that keep me from drawing.

    – Get to the 3/4 mark on my graphic novel.

    – Stop selling my work short.

    – Own less, consume less.

    – Listen more, give more.

  177. I’ve made it four days into my resolution to NOT read comments on Kate’s Salon articles — yay me!

  178. My projects for this year are:
    Do fiber projects that net me less yarn, fabric, etc. in the craft room.

    Make it clear to my “tenants” (sister and boyfriend) what I expect of them, and how deeply it upsets me to live in chaos covered in dog hair.

    I am going to go to more shows so I can get into the burlesque community and start dancing. Keep your eyes open for Ulla Umlaut!

  179. Thanks for the hugs Meredith.

    Tricia – I love reading the comments at Kate’s Salon articles. I often imagine the worst of them as performance art. People can’t REALYY think like that, can they?

  180. More {{hugs}} to mcm. I’ve been there. It is hard! But after I broke up w/the boyfriend of 6 years, I met my now-husband of 9 years.

    So, don’t settle mcm. You deserve super-spectacular, NOT ho-hum!

  181. graduate college!
    be happy and excited about all the amazing law schools i’ve been accepted to,
    and do not feel crappy about the dings and waitlists that may arrive!
    figure out how to keep my health insurance and defer school for a year and have adventures!
    finish my freaking tefl certification for maudes sake!

    yay i love this thread

  182. I try to make resolutions to improve my personality or my relationships with other people. I’ve resolved this year to try and stop nagging my husband about what time he goes to bed.

  183. Resolutions:
    To have a job before my student loan (for graduate school) deferment ends in June.
    And to be ok with it if I don’t.

  184. – Not diet or think about loosing weight, which since I’m new to the whole FA thing might be difficult (thank you so much for this blog, it’s been so eye opening)
    – Work on FA in my thought process and how I treat and talk about others
    – I walked a 5k in December, I’d like to run the same 5k this year
    – Get my spiritual life back on track, I’ve been slacking
    – Spend more time with my family and friends

  185. 1) Eat whatever I damn well please (while trying to minimize sodium for my BPs sake) intuitively.

    2) Do yoga on something that resembles a regular basis.

    3) Continue to pay down My Evil Debt.

    4) Continue to build a life with my boyfriend, and solidify our 5 and 10 year plans.

    5) Probably find a new job.

  186. “I’m going to train for and run a 1/2 marathon this year!”

    Me too! The prospect terrifies me, as I am currently only just above couch-potato status.

  187. My only resolution is to save money.
    First, ALL my change is going into a designated drawer. It will be spent next year on Christmas presents.
    Second, I have worked out an awesome budget that isn’t too painful but allows me to pay off all my family’s debt AND contribute to savings every month with the long term goal of fixing up and selling our fast-getting-too-small house and moving into a slightly newer (less than 100 years old) and slightly larger (2nd bathroom) house.

    I hope everyone had Happy Holidays!!!

  188. Woo! Minerva! You rule! I haven’t resolved anything, but if I did, it might be that. Although that would probably mean swearing at least once every five minutes, all day, every day.

  189. I discovered you lovely ladies about a month ago, and have really taken your message to heart. Thank you so much!
    I talked to my doctor today about ongoing pain in my foot, and made it quite clear to both her and the nurse that I am working on being happy and healthy even if I stay fat. They both took the news in stride and I was given a recommendation for a podiatrist because the X-ray machine in her office was not working.

  190. Hit enter too soon – Then I made an appointment to try out the local fitness center (one-on-one personal training) and said up-front that weight loss is NOT one of my goals, which are strength and stamina. The lady I talked to said that she really liked those goals! :)

    Thank you for helping me discover this confidence in myself! (I’ve been speaking out about annoying things a lot more, too)

  191. I have resolved to start taking kung fu again (after a year’s hiatus because a major out-of-state move). I feel like I’m more fit when I do this, and it’s one of the few organized exercises I’ve ever done without the intent of losing weight. In fact, right before I left kung fu back in 2008, I felt like I was in the best shape of my life based on all of the new things I could do that I couldn’t before (pushups, high kicks, certain stretches, etc), but I hadn’t lost a pound.

    Anyway, I already started again on Jan 2. Maybe later this year I’ll upload pics or vids of my short, fat self earning yet another belt test.

  192. Ok, my resolution for 2010 is to find a guiding purpose or passion in life. Because I have been drifting and reacting to events since as long as I can remember. I don’t ever remember taking an active, proactive, passionate, decision in my career or relationships. Ever!

    Have tried therapy; hypnotherapy; discussions with friends, mentors and strangers; just doing things I like, and pretty much everything to discover what I would like to do/have/create in my life for myself and others. And you know what? Bupkiss except for lots of random half-arsed ideas along the lines of ‘oh, wouldn’t it be nice to speak Italian/Japanese whatever’ Oh, and when I went to hypnotherapy, when asked when under what I would like to do in my life, I described curling up on a couch and falling asleep. My subconcious isn’t even helping me out here!

    So obviously lovely Shapelings, any hints and tips, gratefully received! I have no job, no personal attachments (save family and friends who would love to see me flourish), no money worries and nothing holding me back, apart from me….so please feel free to suggest my resolutions, and the more outlandish the better frankly!!!

  193. WestEndGirl: Not everybody has to do (or has to want to do) something profound and earth-shaking. If what you want is a quiet, cozy life… I don’t really see anything wrong with that. If you’re defaulting to quiet and cozy but are unhappy with it, that’s a different matter. In which case, my first advice would be to try six new activities this year — that gives you an average of two months per activity, so you can see whether you really like it. Try swing dancing or salsa dancing or contra dancing. Learn to bake or knit or paint or scuba dive. Volunteer at a women’s shelter or family shelter or animal shelter. Join a book club or a mountaineering club. Even if a given activity doesn’t turn you on, it could give you ideas for things that might.

  194. Learn to play the sax and brush up on me horticulture skills all the while enjoying feminist blogging all over the Internets!

  195. My resolution for 2010 is to take the leap of figuring out what I really want to do and tailor the last part of my master’s to whatever that is. I need to stop being so afraid of changing my professional life even though I know I will be happier when I do!

  196. Hi. I know I’m late to the party, but I really wanted to tell someone my resolution.

    I’m giving too much to my job when it doesn’t give me as much back. I’m going to stop working through my lunches, and I’m going to take my eyes off of my work computer screen every working day, just for a few minutes. I’m losing myself in a job that isn’ t worth it. The job is fine, but there’s more to my life than working, and I need to act on it. :)

  197. I too am late, because typically I never set resolutions. However, it has become apparent I’m going to have to do some resolving this year to maintain sanity. With the turn of the new year, many of my dearest friends have gone diet & exercise crazy. While that’s not unexpected, this year (more than previous years) the diet talk is driving me positively apeshit. I’m finally happy with my body and it breaks my heart to hear some of the things they say about their own bodies.

    I resolve to not punch them in the teeth when they want my approval and praise for subsisting on 1200 calories for a 275-pound body. I resolve to not scream “I AM NOT THE DIET POLICE” when they say to me “don’t tell, I’m having a cookie” on the first g. d. day of the diet. I resolve not to point out in a snarky tone that some celery, an apple, and water for lunch is likely not enough food to sustain a 2-hour workout. I resolve to find an effective, non-threatening approach to stating that food and its consumption is not a moral issue. And the hardest resolution of all for me: not to fall back into thinking that because I’m fat and my friends are dieting that I should be on a diet too.


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