Happy Birthday, Sweet Machine!

nibblerFINALLY, A MAJORITY OF THE SP BLOGGERS ARE IN THEIR THIRTIES! (Suck it, Fillyjonk.) You know the drill, Shapelings — champagne, baby donuts, dirty limericks and lots of love for Sweet Machine, who has been making this blog better (as has FJ, who can stop sucking it now) for TWO DAMN YEARS this month. Happy birthday, lady!

80 thoughts on “Happy Birthday, Sweet Machine!”

  1. Happy Birthday Sweet Machine!!! *throws confetti and passes out baby flavored champagne*

    My birthday was a week ago (Aug. 8). August is an awesome month for birthdays! :)

  2. I went to look up the lyrics to the obvy tune it calls to mind and… sweet fuck, did you know these were the lyrics??!

    Tonight’s the night I’ve waited for
    Because you’re not a baby anymore
    You’ve turned into the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen
    Happy birthday sweet sixteen

    What happened to that funny face
    My little tomboy now wears satin and lace
    I can’t believe my eyes you’re just a teenage dream
    Happy birthday sweet sixteen


  3. Happy birthday person that I can’t bring myself to calling SM because it makes me think of Sadomasochism! Though writing Sweet Machine would have been shorter, but nevermind. Anyway, cheers!

  4. In my best attempt to answer @rebecca’s request:

    Today’s the day you’ve waited for

    Because you’ve now hit 30: whatta score!
    You’ve turned into the snarkiest gal we’ve ever seen

    Happy birthday Sweet Machine

    What happened to that 29?

    Our blogging hero still writes her truth so fine
    We all believe our eyes you’re such a Shapeling queen

    Happy birthday Sweet Machine

    Many many good things for you today, SM!

  5. Happy Birthday SM! Here’s a little ditty for ya

    Sweet Machine
    She can curl your toes
    With her totally awesome ‘Shapely Prose’
    Her words tend to matter
    To those skinny or fatter
    In need of a good mind ‘repose’

  6. Happy Birthday Sweet Machine!!! I’m so glad you’re here. Hope your day is fantastic.

    Does that mean Fillyjonk’s the youngest? How unexpected. (Not that I thought she was the oldest. Acutally, why am I surprised? I don’t know. On we go.)

    Among the ways SM makes this blog better: She fixes it when I spell “happy” wrong in the post title.

    Hee. It’s good that she’s around to take care of these things.

  7. How odd! I’d been under the distinct impression that Sweet Machine was the youngest.

    Well, happy birthday you old goat ;) I’ve been so delighted to read your contributions for the omg-nearly-two-years I’ve been following this blog!

  8. Well, this mama’s feeling even less clever than usual today, so no witty response from me, just wishing you a very happy birthday! Enjoy (if you don’t melt in this heat – unless this is what y’all sent East for us to ‘enjoy’ :-])!

  9. (passes around slices of baby-flavored cake to allll the good little Shapelings)

    Happy birthday, Sweet Machine! Long may your gears whirl!

  10. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I’m working on my limerick now, will report back later. In the meantime… (toots paper birthday tooter, throws confetti!)

  11. Happy Birfday!

    I officially dedicate the chocolate peanut butter squares I made today to your birthday. They are so very tasty.

    If anyone wants to create them at home, they are very easy. You mix a 1 pound jar of peanut butter, about a half cup of brown sugar, and an entire stick of melted butter, then add a whole 1 pound box of 10X powdered sugar, and press all that into a 9X13 pan. Then you melt together a bag of chocolate chips and another whole stick of butter, and spread that all over the top, and put them in the fridge for a while. You can sub in vegan stuff for the butter and chocolate, it’s pretty forgiving of substitutions.

    Two whole cakes, and some peanut butter thingies with two whole sticks of butter. What could be better?

  12. I was just serving Mojitos at my mom’s 60th birthday bash – although she’s actually a September birthday, we celebrated early to enjoy the sun.

    (My sis and I are Leos too. Which means never having birthday during school, which bummed us both out, because no one was ever around for the parties. Stupid summer vacation!)

    Anyway, now I’m nicely warm and they were successful.

    So: virtually bartending for the Shapelings on this SM’s birthday –

    1 cup mint leaves
    1 cup (fresh if you are willing to ream limes) lime juice
    .75-1 cup sugar
    1-1.5 cups white rum
    A 2 L thing o’ club soda.

    I used to do simple syrups for this kind of thing, pre-dissolving the sugar, but seriously unnecessary in mojitos – because you muddle the mint and sugar together and the sugar gets all stabby piercey on the mint and that’s just GOOD BUSINESS. Then you pour in the lime juice and stir and those acids eat up the sugar PDQ, and then you add rum and stir, and dump in the bubbly club soda, and you’re fine.

    Pour servings over ice and garnish with unmuddled mint.


  13. Arwen, I was always baffled by people who were jealous of school-year birthday parties. Huh?? I mean, I personally felt like my birthday should be treated like a national holiday, and instead – many, many times – I woke up too early, got dressed (poorly), ate my packet of instant oatmeal, and trudged off (last, and usually late) to the bus stop just like it was any other horrible day.

    Also, I nurtured irrational fantasies of outdoor pool parties for my birthday, which of course (in January, in Oregon) were completely ridiculous unless I wanted all my guests to freeze solid like supermarket turkeys.

    Yay for summer birthdays! (Even though I’m still pretty jealous. In late January, most people are getting their credit card bills from xmas – not a great time to hope for elaborate gifts. Sigh.) Happy 30th, Sweet Machine!

  14. Happy belated birthday SM!

    Now that I know this, I’ll dedicate my hangover from yesterday’s mostly pointless party to your birthday, and that makes even a hangover much more fun! Yey!

  15. Yes Happy Birthday Sweet Machine.

    For some reason, you’ll always be Sweet(ie) Machine in my head.

    I don’t know why….

  16. Happy birthday!!!!! I write with the glazed eyes and aching head of a hangover but maybe, like Hanna’s, it is from your birthday celebration….. here, have a french crulle and a pint of ben and jerry’s…wait that’s like sadness food…. whatever. it’s delicious. anyway, happy birthday. for real. :)

    not to derail but last night on the metro there was this girl that looked really sad… and some girls were talking about race and conventional standards of beauty or something next to her and she looked uncomfortable… so i scrawled this blog on to paper and gave it to her in a flurry of drunken enthusiasm… I hope she visits, but doesn’t think I was “calling her fat” :P

  17. hallie, as someone with an honest-to-maude national holiday for her birthday, let me tell you IT SUCKS! Especially growing up.

    For one thing, I was never ever able to have a party with friends because they all had to do stuff with their families!

    (I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that anymore)

  18. Happy (belated) birthday, SM!

    @Hallie & Arwen – I see both sides, since my birthday is late May (i.e. Memorial Day weekend in the States). I always liked having parties in school and friends around for my party. At the same time, it was never quite warm enough for a pool party (at least, not in New England), and I did still have to go to school on my birthday most years. There are pluses and minuses to each.

  19. She posts both profayne and deveen
    And her mind is especially keen.
    She brings balm for our pain —
    Raise a glass of champagne
    For SP’s very own Sweet Machine.

    luv, ur fan
    (in ur blog reedin ur poasts)

  20. Happy birthday, Sweet Machine, and many more! Lacking a glass of champagne, I raise a volume of Mark Doty in your general direction.

  21. Happy birthday! I will dedicate a PB Pillow or five to you.

    (No butter, alas, but a good deal of peanut butter and confectioner’s sugar . . .)

    I can’t wait to be 30. I’ll be out of law school by then, AND (hopefully) have passed the bar . . .

  22. #
    The Bald Soprano, on August 16th, 2009 at 4:01 pm Said:

    hallie, as someone with an honest-to-maude national holiday for her birthday, let me tell you IT SUCKS! Especially growing up.

    For one thing, I was never ever able to have a party with friends because they all had to do stuff with their families!

    (I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that anymore)

    I’m with you on that one. The time of my birth was Christmas morning. Talk about lost in the rush! I forget my own birthday half the time.

  23. Yeah, I was thinking of the Neil Sedaka too. It does sound kind of skeevy now in a way it wouldn’t have coming from a 21 or 22-year-old singer in 1961; in those days, high school girls dreamed of dating boys who were college-age and their parents let them. (Also, the lyricist, Howard Greenfield, was gay, and pretty open about it to his colleagues even then, so I doubt that was a particular fantasy of his.)

    Anyway, SM, hope you had a good one!

  24. Yes, Happy B-Day!

    “Happy birthday to you!
    Your foot wears a shoe.
    You smell like baby doughnuts…
    So let’s eat one of those too!”

  25. I cannot remember what it’s called to save my life, which is really a tragedy, but I saw this hilarious short film a few years ago that was a mockumentary about this 60’s pop star whose big hit was a song called “Sweet Seventeen,” which had that exact type of dumb-semi-creepy Neil Sedaka lyrics. The producers were trying to bill him as the next Dylan, but he continued to write songs about girls of different ages, gradually getting younger and younger. His next single was called, “You’re Thirteen!?” and there’s a part where the producer says the question mark was his idea, so that the song was more, “You’re thirteen? WHOA.” instead of, “YAY, you’re thirteen!” The amazing climax is footage of the singer at a show getting booed off the stage while he sings, “Hey niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine….” God, I wish I could remember what it was called!!!!!

    Happy belated, SM- hope it was delightfully full of cake, baby-flavored or not. :)

  26. Lucy, that sounds hilarious. I hope I get to see that sometime. (At least when Sam Cooke wrote “Only Sixteen,” he made it clear that he was singing from the point of view of a boy the same age.)

  27. Emmy: ick, that’s the worst! My uncle’s birthday is Christmas Eve, and that’s pretty bad (especially since my grandfather is a minister, so he always has to work!) –we’ll never know if that was a factor in my uncle converting to buddhism!

    At least I could move out of the U.S. to avoid the holiday-ness of mine (July 4). Christmas presents meaning no birthday presents makes yours even worse than my brother’s! (not a national holiday, but February 29)

  28. Happy Birthday! Hurrah for Sweet Machine! Your name always makes me laugh because it sounds so, y’know, sweet, which is the way your writing comes off to me. (Not in a limp and cutesy kind of way, but meaning that even in your righteousness and anger you always sound humane and kind.) But then I remember where your name really comes from and I have to stop and laugh in shock at the cognitive dissonance. :) :)

  29. Not in a limp and cutesy kind of way, but meaning that even in your righteousness and anger you always sound humane and kind

    This is a really excellent compliment — thank you.

  30. Happy birthday! Yay August Birthdays. I’m not doing anything today to dedicate to you, but my best August birthday friend and I are hiking the Clackamas River Trail on Thursday in celebration, and I’ll for sure include you in the mental birthday wishes.

  31. I know I’m late, but happy belated birthday, SM! Here is my birthday song for you:
    Let me tell ya a story bout a girl named Sweet Machine
    Awesome shapely blogger,writing skillz that make me green
    One day she turned thirty
    We were all so proud
    So we’ll stand up now and we’ll say it loud
    Happy happy birthday to our own Sweet Machine
    Let’s hope she keeps on blogging with her skillz that make me green!
    *To be sung (if you stretch your imagination) to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies

  32. Happy belated birthday! It’s my birthday too–I’m very excited to get to share the day with Julia Child and with you!

    (Um. I have no songwriting skills. But hope you had a great one. Birthdays falling on a weekend = genius!)

  33. wow. I am so late getting to this, sorry!
    well, happy belated birthday SM.
    sadly I have no excellent link today, that birds of paradise one was my best offering, mind sharing with A Sarah? ;)

  34. Yeah, I’ve been younger than SM for most of my life now. :) I wonder why people think otherwise? That’s interesting. Maybe because SM is in school.

    I didn’t say happy birthday on this thread but I mailed AT LEAST ONE birthday surprise so I believe I am off the hook.

  35. It’s State Fair season, so included in your mini-donut gift basket please find mini-donuts that are freshly fried and on a stick. You can use the stick to prod youngsters, who need to get offa your lawn. This is a privilege of turning 30.

    Many happy returns of the day.

  36. happy belated birthday!! I hope you had a fantastic time and got lots of cake, glitter, hugs, worship- whatever you’d like best! :D

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