Fillyjonk, Friday Fluff

Friday Fluff: Skivvies Smackdown

Everyone is equal when it comes to underwear,
Because beneath your underwear it’s just yourself that’s there.
Everyone wears underwear — or at least they should.
Underwear is lots of things, but mostly it is good.

Some like the feel of cotton. I share this belief.
Likewise I don’t like boxer shorts, give me a pair of briefs.
Some don’t like to talk about it, that’s because they’re shy.
People laugh at underwear, but I do not know why.

– Barry Louis Polisar

I am well aware that I do not share fashion sense with the women at Manolo for the Big Girl. I read it because they post sale codes and because I’m a little in love with Twistie’s contributions over here, not because I will ever wear the things they feature. That’s fine; there’s room for everyone under the voluminous muumuu that is fatshion. If we all dressed the same, there’d be way too much competition for Fatshionista sales posts.

But recently they calumniated boxer briefs, and this simply will not stand. Boxer briefs are not only acceptable, they are literally the only men’s underwear that looks even a little bit hot. I have seen a LOT of banana hammocks in my day, disquieting as that is to say, and truly they demean us all. Boxers can be charming in a virginal sort of way, but I don’t find them remotely sexy. And the less said about tightie whities, the better. Boxer briefs, by contrast, are the black-tee-and-jeans of men’s unmentionables: no matter your size or shape, they will make you look just a little bit hotter, and just a little bit cooler. Even if you’re a girl.

Do you have opinions on men’s personal pants? What about other strong feelings on intimate items? For instance, is a girl in a sports bra ferociously hot or does she just make you wince in sympathy squishing? How come women tend to look good, or at least not laughable, in pants but no top or a top but no pants, but men in a top but no pants are impossibly comic? Would you wear a thong, and would you then make your booty go da na na? Do your bras match your knickers, or do you go without either or both? Fellas, if you’re out there, what do you wear and why?

117 thoughts on “Friday Fluff: Skivvies Smackdown”

  1. I have to agree with you about men’s skivvies. Definitely boxer briefs.

    Sports bras are a necessary evil at a 32G, though finding them in my size takes a bit of searching.

    And does black on black count as matching? I don’t buy sets…those are for people with money, not poor grad students.

  2. I am a fervent fan of the Manolo bloggers but I really agree with you very firmly on this. Boxer briefs all the way. Not overgrown tightywhities with legs, but nice ones in a smooth cotton knit in black or colors.

    Men look funny without any pants because they have relatively broad shoulders and narrow waists, so with just a top on they look like lollipops on sticks. And not in the filthy way. I know all men aren’t built that way, but the ones who look funniest without any pants are.

  3. I prefer boxers, but boxer briefs are better than regular ol’ briefs in my opinion. I just bought my first real sports bra recently and I don’t feel too squished, just more secure. And as for the thong question, I do wear them (with certain pants to avoid the line) a fact which I fear has traumatized my 11 year old daughter, who busted in to my room without knocking the other morning while I was dressing, “Oh my God, you’re wearing a thong?!?!?” She has not forgotten to knock since then, however.

  4. “Socks before or after trousers, but never socks before pants, that’s the rule. It makes a man look scary, like a chicken.”

  5. –delurking–

    Im totally with you on the boxer briefs; makes a fellow’s junk look damn sexay.

    I avoid thongs because im not quite there yet on the body-acceptance thing yet, and I feel very self conscious about the jiggle. My booty is the biggest and most dimpled part of my body, and thongs just remind me of that fact.

    Otherwise, I find lingerie very appealing. Something about the feel of naughty unmentionables to make me feel a little more naughty.


  6. For me, bras and underpants only match by accident. They usually mismatch on purpose though, ex. white blouse needs nude bra while black skirt needs dark underpants.

    I’m somewhat torn on the sexiness of boxer-briefs because that’s what my dad wears. On the one hand, they do look quite nice on the models in the ads. On the other hand, that’s what my dad wears, and I don’t like to think of anything he does as sexy. It just feels weird to me.

  7. I’m a big fan of boxer briefs, but my husband likes plain boxers and, if he has no problem with my granny panties (I pretty much only wear cotton briefs), then I’m not going to say a word about his underwear.

    I always wear an Enell sports bra when I exercise, and I love it. I generally don’t even think about matching my underpants and bra, because bras in my size tend to only come in black, white, and cream, and I tend to pick up underwear in the 6-packs, where they are all sorts of bright colors and patterns.

  8. See, I like men in boxers, but I like *short* boxers. They’re not very common, though. I don’t have strong feelings about any other type of men’s undies, they’re all okay by me!

    I tried the thong thing, and it is okay, but mostly I stopped being concerned about the OMG fashion faux-pas of remotely possible pantylines, and now I go for maximum comfort all the time. And fun colors, just because. It takes about half an hour of sorting through the giant Wall Of Underwear at Target to find the correct combination of little top-of-package icons (correct size, correct type of bikini style, whatever fabric I want that day) and colors I like, though.

    Bras… yeah. I have one extremely precious extremely expensive one from Intimacies that I wear as little as possible so it lasts, which defeats the purpose, but I loooooveeee it. It is for special good luck days! And I have a handful from figleaves that sort of more-or-less fit, enough that I didn’t send them back. It’s a functional system, but in an ideal world I’d have $500 to spend on a bra for every day of the week that was personally fitted. I dream of that world.

    I’m petite so I only need a reasonable amount of support to work out, so sports bras work with minimal squishage, and I also have a whole bunch of cheap sports bras for yoga because there’s really no bouncing involved (and I don’t have enough to fall out). I do think sports bras are pretty hot on women (myself included). I also like the fun colors!

    Sometimes sets more or less match. Sometimes not at all. I don’t usually like the bottoms that come as sets with bras I like, so usually if I feel like matching I just find bottoms that are close enough in some other brand.

    Apparently I have a LOT to say about underwear today!

  9. I think women look amazing in sports bras, myself — no insult to sports bras intended. I think they make pretty much any woman look really tough and athletic. (When worn alone, that is, or under a tank top… I don’t really have an opinion on sports bras under clothes.) I think it’s partly the shoulder-broadening effects of the racer back. Broad shoulders are awesome.

  10. I definitely agree that boxer briefs are The Sexiest. But my husband will go to his grave a tighty whitey man. So they’ve kind of grown on me – they’re not nature’s ideal undies, but I’ve got a lot of good associations there. I’ll take them over boxers, because they remind me of my high school boyfriends, and there’s just something not so sexy about that.

    I used to love thongs, but they just aren’t comfortable since I gained weight. They just ride the wrong way, even though I’m buying the same sizes as my usual underwear. Is this a universal fat experience, or am I just not buying the right brand?

  11. I have to minorly disagree… Boxer briefs can be hot, but not on *everyone*. As a trans man, the idea of having the only fabric on my body skin-tight and drawing attention to my hips like that makes me feel mildly queasy. That’s exactly the last thing I need.

    And, to opine on one of the other proposed topics: women in sports bras? Hot.

  12. I am definitely fondest of the boxer brief. It is the best thing that ever happened to men’s underwear.

    I hate sports bras! I mean they look hot on women when worn alone but I will not wear them. I have no idea how women with large breasts wear them. I can’t even get into one without contorting my body into positions it does not agree with. A few months ago I had the hair-brained idea I’d try the sports bra thing again for my daily afternoon walking and after 30 minutes, I was breathing hard and sweating like a pig and still didn’t have the damn thing over my boobs. That was my entire workout that day.

    I actually do like thongs occasionally, not the kind that are made for skinny girls with skinny bums but happened to be sized larger, no those do not work. That fabric still doesn’t lay on my butt correctly. The kind that are designed to be worn by those of us blessed with a more than ample bottom, though? AWESOME. My personal underwear preference though, boyshorts all the way! Plain cotton or lacy, either way, they are comfortable and so damn sexy.

  13. My boyfriend will only wear boxer briefs and only black ones. Sigh. I just love them. They’re a perfect look for his light skin and long, luscious legs.

    Oops. I might be drooling a little.

    He loooooves sports bras and I’m neither hot nor cold about them. I love a good balconette, though. Or a low-cut demi. I love my breasts and I love knowing they’re dressed in something hot, even if I’m the only one with that knowledge.

    I have a very small collection of lacey underthings that I wear when I’m feeling sexy, but mostly I like cotton. Comfy, breathable – no complaints here. And it almost never occurs to me to match bra to underpants.

  14. “I love my breasts and I love knowing they’re dressed in something hot, even if I’m the only one with that knowledge.”

    Me too, Cate. ME TOO.

  15. I love tighty whities. I don’t care. I’m a freak of nature, I guess, but I think they’re sexy. Sue me. :D

    My bf wears tighty whities in alternate colors, like burgundy or blue, which I find nomful.

    That is all.

  16. I am not a fan of underwear on myself. I only wear it because I physically must in order to function. It’s too goddamn expensive, wears out too fast (yes, darlings, even if I buy the ‘good’ stuff, it does not hold up to being worn by Naamah), and is only remotely flattering for about half its shelf life, after which point it has sustained so many battlefield injuries and has seen such horrors that it could no longer pass as “sexy” even in the dark..

    That said, I love underwear of all kinds on women. I have yet to find a form of underwear I do not like to look at on gals. I’m like Jeff from Coupling: “I’m just so excited about all the underwear!”

    Men . . . tighty whities are horrific on most men. They look like diapers for god’s sake. Boxers are okay, though they can look old-man-ish if they are allowed to sag in the rear too much. I have only ever played with one boy who wore boxer briefs, and they looked damn good, but I gotta say that he had a significantly different body type than most of the guys I’ve been with (he was thin, about 140), so I don’t know what I would think of them on, say, my husband.

    I just thank my lucky stars I convinced my husband to ditch the white nightmares.

  17. Boxer briefs, oh hell yes, absolutely. When my husband moved in I immediately got rid of (with permission) all of his tighty-whities and boxers, and got him a bunch of boxer briefs. The ONLY sexy men’s underwear.

    I have even taken a liking to a Hanes womens’ version from Target myself. Comfortable and I think they look pretty good. :)

  18. I am thrilled to see that there is at least ONE other lady who loves tighty whities in this world. I thought I was alone. :)

  19. I do wear just about anything.Sport bra,plunge bra,ho-my-god-bra.Any color,any style so long as my cleavage keep the bra from showing.I hate full figure bras for that.They climb almost to my neck.So I never wear that.No,I ever wear that when I’m sick.The sport bra is for sleeping.Well I’m actually pregnant so…I just don’t want the girls to meet my knees^^In the future I even plan on wearing nursing bras and I find what I see in stores absolutely ugly.
    For thebottom I usually waer cotton,somethig simple and comfortable.Before I was wearing anything too.Even boyshorts.When I can find something my size actually.Companies just don’t get it…We are supposed to wear our grandmother’s underwear for them.It disgust me.And let me say that:companies who make plus size maternity clothes are not doing better.

    My husband is funny.He wears a lot of those boxer briefs and his butt is so cute!He knows I find him beatiful in that and will somtimes make a little Tom Cruise dance.He even wear men’s thongs.

  20. Ooo, boxer briefs! I’ve been with two guys who wore them and found it very very sexy. Though I am with volcanista on short boxers being far sexier than the long baggy things. Fortunately, the current boy mostly wears the former. Briefs creep me out a little, mostly because I know it’s what my dad wears and I’ve met very few guys my generation who wear them (or maybe there is something about guys who wear briefs that does not induce them to get naked for me).

    I LOVE sports bras under a tank top. So hot! But, yeah, pretty much all girly underwear is hot. As for wearing, I was anti-thong for a long time, but eventually made the switch. I can’t recall what prompted me to do so, but now I can’t go back. Non-thongs just rub me wrong where my leg hits my crotch. But the matching thing? Not so much. I am small-boobed and very guilty of skipping the bra altogether. Which I probably shouldn’t do as much as I should, like at work, but it’s so much more comfortable.

  21. My fiance isn’t American. When we were first dating, the first time I took of his pants, I was confused as hell. I didn’t explain it to him then (for fear of killing the mood) but I did explain later that, in America, that style was reserved for women’s underwear.

    He, it should be noted, was equally baffled by my underwear. He had never had a girlfriend before and had grown up in a houseful of men and was totally confused as to why there were paisleys on my underwear. As in, “what are those things? why would you want them on your underwear?”

    Ah, those were the days.

  22. I’m a 34FF and I looooove the Enell. Got mine custom made with a smaller back and the boobs stay comfortable with minimal bounce and not squished.

    As for underpants…don’t wear them except during my period or if I wear a skirt without pantyhose. Which is rare, since I wear jeans to work all the time. Bras I splurge on. Every woman should have at least one good fitting bra.

  23. April – I think I can answer your question about how women with large breasts wear sports bras. The trick is that we can’t NOT wear them. The discomfort of jostling up and down while running, lifting, even walking sometimes, is sooooo much worse than the discomfort of struggling into one. There’s just no contest.

    That said, I only really started to like sports bras (as opposed to seeing them as a necessary evil) after I got pregnant and my underwires started eating away at my ribs and distended abdominal muscles. Now I wear an old, stretchy sports bra all the time and it is OH SO COMFORTABLE.

    That said, I look forward to going down a few sizes after I stop nursing (which my mom says could happen) and being able to wear lacy, sexy bras again. Sports bras may be sexy in an athletic, cleavage-y sort of way, but they don’t tend to come in lace and pretty colors…

    On the subject of men’s underwear…my husband is also a tighty-whiteys man, and they have started to grow on me a bit too. Except when he walks around the house wearing a shirt and underwear but no pants. That just looks weird, and I can’t convince him otherwise. I do, however, love to see him walk around without a shirt. So, fillyjonk is right – women can get away with more combinations of missing clothes than men – but I couldn’t tell you why.

    Huh, I had a lot more to say about underwear than I expected.

  24. I prefer boxers on guys, though boxer briefs can be sexy, too.

    I try and match my bra to my outfit, and I try to coordinate bra and underwear, though they generally only ‘match’ if I’m wearing black and black. I don’t have any matching sets, mainly because I only like cotton underwear and I don’t own any cotton bras.

    My bras are the basic functional ones from Lane Bryant, but they at least sell them in fun colours, so I have fuchsia and purple and teal and a whole bunch of other colours.

    Sports bras? I love sports bras. I wear them if I don’t have to leave the house on a weekend, or if I’m exercising. I like to wear them with tank top for hiking, though it does make for interesting tan lines. I’m pretty well-endowed, but I just buy the basic cheap ones from Target or wherever. Surprisingly, usually in a medium or large size for proper compression, support, and anti-jiggle factor. (I’m a 38DDD.) My very thin, small-chested roommate is impressed by the amount of cleavage I have in a sports bra.

  25. April, I haven’t tried the Enell but it hooks up the front — would that help with your struggling?

    Naamah, I have seen boxer briefs on the tall and thin, the short and stocky, and the tall and fat. They are magic all around. (Though I will of course defer to Jake’s discomfort with wearing them… just because I think they look good on everybody doesn’t mean everybody likes that particular way of looking good! I also think everybody in the world looks utterly scrumptious in a black T-shirt and jeans, as mentioned in the post — but someone who was high femme would be well within his or her rights to tell me to stuff that particular predilection.)

  26. Actually I do wear the kind that hooks in the front now for working out but it isn’t optimal support so that’s why I thought I’d try the old fashioned kind. Maybe I have the wrong brand?

  27. The Mister looks AWESOME in boxer briefs. Apart from the annual stupidly sappy ugly traditional Valentine’s boxers, I only buy him boxer briefs. They have this amazing way of making his already incredible package look freaking immense. He has white ones, and grey ones, black ones and camoflage ones.

    As for me, I wear boyshorts, thongs or g-strings. Boy shorts are pretty much the only things that don’t crawl completely up my ass. Mostly. I have a couple of pairs that manage it. I wear thongs and g-strings because if it’s going to wind up exploring my colon, it may as well be designed to fit there comfortably.

    And I try to match bras and panties if at ALL possible. I will say that I since jumping up to a D my options for cute cheap bras are somewhat limited. I prefer demi or balconette bras to just about any style.

  28. Men’s boxer briefs all the way! back in “the day” my dad used to make his own by taking really thin and cheap long-johns and chopping them off above the knee.

    My husband, that’s all he wears. It’s the only thing that both supports and doesn’t go up his ass.

    I even have some, for work, where i have to hike and squat a lot, it keeps my underpants out of my butt, and cuts down on chubrub.

    I haven’t had a matching set of underwear and bra since I was, oh, 12 and got the boobie starter kit. I was a C cup by 13 and just went up from there, I was out of the matching set size before I saw 16.

    I think a sports bra (well, a well-fitted one) makes a girl look athletic-sexy. or it can, if that’s what she’s trying to exude. I wear enell sports bras almost exclusively everyday, b/c they are the only bras that keep me from bouncing and get the tit out of the pit. plus, they come in different colors, I have a lot of black ones! as for underpants, I have issues. I have a big, high ass, and panties in my size assume the front matches the back. I tend to wear ladies’ bikini underpants, but recently found some in the lower plus size called hipsters that are cut generous in the butt compared to the front and so far don’t go up my butt. I can’t wear boyshorts, they go up my butt. I don’t do the buttfloss, either, the one time i tried for clothing purposes it chaffed horribly and was all i could focus on all day (which is funny, since my sister can’t stand anything *but* buttfloss).

    it’s all a matter of personal choice and comfort, yeah?

  29. Clearly as someone who (extremely sporadically; hmm I’ve been meaning to clean this out & start afresh elsewhere) writes mini love/like/lust stories at a blog called Slackerotic, I am destined to be fan of boxers, the way I am destined to be a fan of stubble and hair that’s just a little too long and jeans + T-shirt over pretty much any other possible guy outfit (including suits). What can I say? I find casualness sexy & ambition a turn-off.

    as for me, I swear by DKNY cotton panties, the only brand of underwear I have ever found that does not give me the four-butt-cheeks look AND does not ride up my ass (these things are miraculous). Seriously unless you wear them with like a really clingy skirt or something there’s not even a VPL (my jeans, they are so happy about this). I’m on the smaller side overall so I can’t personally vouch for their plus-size friendliness, but any other smallish-yet-bootylicious girls out there, I give my absolute recommendation. The boobs are more on the smallish size, & I hate the feel of underwire, so all my bras are those fakey stretchy ones that aren’t quite tight enough to be sports bras (though actually a rather large-bosomed friend of mine – at least a D, I think – can’t wear underwire because of her chronic pain issues, & has found a stretchy-but-not-sporty-all-fabric-no-cup brand of bra that works for her, so maybe this isn’t just about size).

  30. I am thrilled to see that there is at least ONE other lady who loves tighty whities in this world. I thought I was alone. :)

    YAY! I am sure there are more of us out there, somewhere…we just have to find our field full of people in bee suits.

  31. Yes. Yes indeed. Boxer briefs all the way. I like boxers, too, but boxer briefs are sexier. Regular briefs are what my dad wears, so…ew. And skimpy undies on guys just don’t ring my bell.

  32. I just thank my lucky stars I convinced my husband to ditch the white nightmares.

    I was never a fan of them, but I put up with them until we were trying to have a baby, at which point I pestered him with “But will somebody think of the sperm?!” concerns until he bought some boxers. Apparently, for him, they ended up being far more comfortable than briefs, because he never went back.

  33. “Some like the feel of cotton. I share this belief.”

    Liking the feel of something is not a belief. It is a preference.

    “Everyone wears underwear — or at least they should.”

    No they don’t. The only one with the power to decide if one should wear underwear is the one making the decision. A person’s preference does not become universal just because that preference is shared in public.

    Not everybody is discrimating about fashion. Not everybody thinks that certain things look “better” or “worse” or “weird”.

    I’ve loved bikini briefs, regular briefs, boxers, boxer briefs, and free-ballers with the same visual adoration. A comfortable person is a sexy person. Even if that person is wearing nothing more than athletic socks.

    Don’t like the hottie in only socks or only a shirt? Pass the hottie my way. Getting dressed and undressed doesn’t have to happen in any particular order to push my buttons.

    The only thing I feel strongly about in regards to fashion is the fact that people state their preferences like hard and fast fashion laws that everybody should have to abide by. I actually love fashion and would invest much more interest and time in it if people would stop being such prats about the choices other people make.

    Personally, sometimes, I wear clothes and much of the time, I don’t. I haven’t worn a bra of any kind in years because I’m too fat for what’s available locally. I don’t shop for clothes online because I don’t have the patience to keep shipping back things that didn’t fit.

    If manufacturers could choose a standard and stick with it across the board, they’d make a lot more money because people like me would spend $100 each month instead of $100 every two years.

    Such a shame that fashion is all about telling people what they should look like instead of selling a product.

  34. On men, definitely boxer briefs, and definitely any color other than white. My bf has some navy ones and some gray ones, and whenever he wears those instead of tightie whities, I make sure he gets positive reinforcement. :D

    Tightie whities–ugh, no, especially if they’re holey. Banana hammocks look kind of silly. Boxer briefs all the way.

    I hate thongs. I’ve been told they’re supposed to be more comfortable than the other kind of undies, but that hasn’t been my experience. I also hate high-waisted briefs, though. I like bikini panties–they’re my Goldilocks “just right” undies. Any color other than white. I’m cheap and buy a lot of those bags o’britches at Target, etc., and I hate that usually half the package is white.

    (I don’t know exactly what precipitated my aversion to white panties. I think part of it is that I associate them subconsciously with little girls, and part of it is that they’re just so easily ruinable if you have a time-of-month accident.)

    For a hot date, I might try to match bra and undies, but I’m pretty flexible about what constitutes “matching.” I have a lot more panties than bras. So if I’m wearing the purple bra, any pair of undies with purple on them counts as “matching” in my book. Most days I don’t bother, and end up in some unholy combination of, say, fuchsia bra and beige panties, or something. :)

  35. Yep, boxer briefs. Yep yep yep.

    This post is reminding me that I have been intending to get some pretty underwear. I like pretty underwear, as long as it isn’t itchy. I haven’t invested in it as much since I’ve gotten a postpartum belly pannus, which is unfortunate. That I haven’t invested in it, I mean.

    A woman in a sports bra is ferociously hot if she is using an electric drill to build something with 2 x 4’s. (And whatever, I’m sure that means my subconscious is filled with interesting little neuroses involving gender-bending and penetration, but I’m basically okay with that.)

  36. Boxer briefs omnomnomnom. Boxers are perfectly fine, but not so much tighty-whities. Certain boys of my acquaintance wear none at all, and I can’t help but think of the inherent danger every time they zip their pants…

    As for me, it’s cotton bikini briefs on an everyday basis; boyshorts and itty-bitty briefs ride straight up my crack, and synthetic stuff just feels weird on the bits to me . I’ll tolerate mesh hipsters with outfits that show pantylines really badly, but only on occasion.

    As for bras, I swear by the Target brand when I can chase down DDs in them. I can only wear demi-cups in most bras in general, because I have very full boobies and standard full-coverage bras cut in to my upper cleavage and give me double-boob. Matching bras and underwear pretty much doesn’t happen unless it’s black on black. Speaking of black, I am the proud owner of a super-industrial-strength sports bra; it does its job perfectly, and I cannot wait to get it off once I’m finished exercising. Even though I look hot in it, as do pretty much all women in sports bras.

    I apparently have a lot to say about undies as well!

  37. And apparently I’m not done yet…

    I think my problem with tighty-whities is that they remind me of little kid underwear.

    Thongs: no. Just no.

    And mustn’t forget about my Victoria’s Secret pushup bra that is a cross between the Quidditch Cup tents in Harry Potter 4 and the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants; it should realistically be far too small for me, but it fits just as well now as it did when I was a cup and band size smaller. Thank goodness, as it is magical in other ways as well. ;)

  38. I have to say that one of my sexiest moments lately was when I found myself in the kitchen, chopping onions, wearing a stolen pair of my boyfriend’s black boxer briefs (with gray waistband) and a red push-up bra, and black boots (I had gotten home and taken off my dress b/c I didn’t want to get food on it).

    I was like “hey, I’m ready for my soft-core porn shoot now.”

    But yeah, boxer briefs are the best, on men or women.

  39. My honey only wears boxer briefs, about which I am pleased. He looks cute and sexy in them. I’m admittedly biased because I think he looks cute and sexy anyway. I tend to wear utilitarian briefs in pretty colors, because that’s nearly the only style I find comfortable. I picked a few in cheery patterns at Avenue, which is also where I buy my bras. They have one particular style that I find quite comfortable, so I have several of that bra. I don’t tend to have cleavage unless I’m wearing a major push-up bra (smaller breasts, wider rib cage) so that’s not really an issue for me. My bras and underpants rarely match since I tend to just pull random ones out of the drawer till I have one of each.

  40. The problem w/ boxer briefs in my experience is not aesthetic, but fit. If you are a larger dude with extra-muscular thighs they will either cut into the leg uncomfortably or bunch up into the narrower crotch area. My dude has always worn briefs, though not white, and as they reveal his muscular legs (that guy can cycle up mountains) and accentuate his tidy package, they look hot enough. I personally have never been able to find boxer briefs that comfortably fit my thighs either, so if someone could suggest a source for larger-thighed boxer briefs I’d be most grateful.

    For myself I don’t wear bras at all, so matching is out. On occasion, I wear those shelf bra tank tops. They’re comfortable and as supportive as I feel I am ever likely to need, even now that I’m nursing with rather larger breast than before.

  41. Heh, Synj, I am totally stealing “tit in the pit.” Perfect description.

    The boy wears only black boxer briefs…and I had to guffaw at the “black t-shirts and jeans” hottness comparison, because that is 90% of his wardrobe and what he is currently wearing.

    I have never owned a matching set of underwear – and can I just say I am so happy not to have seen the word “panties” anywhere on this thread yet (unless I missed it)? I FUCKING HATE THAT WORD.

    34F bras don’t come cute and rarely can I find one that isn’t that full-coverage or minimizing bullshit. “Ooops! Your breasts are just a little too big, shame on you! Let’s give you a nice unflattering, uncomfortable, itchy minimizing bra so you don’t scare the children. Oh, you don’t really prefer wearing v-necks. Your discomfort is really a minimal concern – what you look like to the rest of us is so much more important. Next! Oh, you are way too small. Implants for you!”

    It’s all fucking bullshit.

  42. A woman in a sports bra is ferociously hot if she is using an electric drill to build something with 2 x 4’s.

    Oh hell yeah. *ahem*

    Uh, I wear string bikinis, generally in cotton and mostly black because the brand I was buying only had acceptable colors of black and grey (look, I don’t want a print that says FLIRT! all over it), and like so many others, if there’s a match, it’s because I’m wearing black and black. I generally wear demi push-up padded underwire contraptions, because I’m still convinced that I’m flat as a pancake (36B ain’t exactly a rack of doom, but it’s certainly not flat) and I actually find them comfortable. When I was a 34A, I rarely wore sports bras because I didn’t need them, but now that I’m a back and a cup size larger, I need ’em. One is royal blue and the other is black.

    But anyway, yeah, boxer briefs are pretty hot. My husband threw out all of his tighty-whities about a day before the first time I saw him naked, so we’ve been good. :) He normally wears boxers, but I’m not picky. If I see his underwear, there’s about a 75% chance it’ll just be on the floor in a minute or two, anyway.

  43. Not overgrown tightywhities with legs

    I think that may have been the source of the objection, because normally I love boxer briefs and think they are hot on pretty much anyone, but those underpants for that person were just not working for me. I was a little confused by my reaction until I saw this comment.

    I have even taken a liking to a Hanes womens’ version from Target myself.

    Ok, I must find these. The things they call hipsters are great, and that’s what I usually wear, but they don’t really have the optimal butt coverage. And for some reason the boy shorts I’ve found all have the leg end at precisely the worst place possible so it ends up feeling weird and squeezy. A longer leg would fix all of these problems.

    YAY! I am sure there are more of us out there, somewhere…we just have to find our field full of people in bee suits.

    I was firmly against them for the longest time, but then I watched Queer as Folk. Briefs look so hot on thin, slightly androgynous, boyish looking guys, and Justin from that show is a perfect example. QAF also showed me that thong-type underwear can be sexy if it’s worn on pretty boys and not body-builders (which is the only time I’d seen it before then).

    This then got me thinking that the reason so many different things can look sexy on women and comparatively few things look sexy on men is not because men have less ability to look sexy, but because no one bothers to think about it. Women have like every advertisement and magazine and form of entertainment ever to educate them on all the ways we can (and must, on pain of death) look sexy, but men have practically nothing, to the point where I’ve heard even het women say that women are just naturally more beautiful and sexy and nice to look at. I obviously don’t want to argue for some backwards reverse feminism where men become objectified in the same way as women, but it’d be nice to reach a middle ground where both genders could enjoy looking sexy *and* looking at sexy people. At least we have gay men to thank for balancing it out just a little lol.

  44. I love the IDEA of matching sets, but I don’t get very many. Moving past the budget issues that a bra in a 36G costs at least £30, and the matching pants cost £12-ish, as opposed to a multipack of comfies for £5, there is also the fact that the matching knickers are always just… foul.

    I have seen some gorgeous bras, but the matching pants are always a choice between a thong (will not waer – I like my buttcheeks to feel secure), or some ridiculously low-rise boy shorts with no shape to the hip. Seems matching sets dont include a simple pair of KNICKERS any more…

    That said, when I do find a matching set that I can afford and fits me nicely, I buy it and then live in it permanently until it dissolves (washing it inbetween, of course!).

    Mostly though, I favour a comfy, but gorgeous bra and a pair of either purely functional, high-waisted comfy plain black knickers or a cute frilly, utterly impractical thing of some sort. I have sooo many pairs of Betty Boop knickers, and random frilly things with giant bows (which can only be worn with poofy skirts, because the bow is so big you can see it through trousers).

    I also wear a lot of bodies and teddy-style garments, because they are very comfy.

  45. Right on lucizoe (excuse me while I move into this thread. It’s boring at the office today) I recently found a bra that was really cute and my size so I grabbed it and took it home – totally missing that it was a minimizing bra and was horrifed after I got it on to realize that I had no boobs. :(

  46. i go commando down below but need a major underwire for the boobs. i buy from oldnavy and walmart because they have sales.

    i believe my husband wears boxer briefs but i don’t really pay much attention to his underwear. after 11 years and 3 children i am just happy i don’t have to wash them :) maybe when the children get older and we can get in more than quickies i will pay more attention to his underthings.

  47. lucizoe, wherabouts do you live? I’m a 36G and can get hold of some damn cute bras. They cost a bit, mind, but they are comfy and not at all ugly. I have recently been wearing to death a BANDEU BRA in my size! First one I have ever seen and it is GORGEOUS.

    Hang on, let me try and find a picture…

    It goes from 32B to 42G, and includes sizes like 48B, which I know are a nightmare to find (worse than shopping for boulders like mine, so I hear).

  48. OMG Bunny that is so fucking cute! I live in Brooklyn, actually. I tend to buy everything online because I hate going into the boutique shops, where the only bras that actually fit me average $100 a pop and I’m not a dedicated enough shopper to check for sales on a regular basis. Hate the shopping, love the sewing.

    But where is this gorgeous thing located???!?!?

  49. 34F bras don’t come cute

    They do too! Believe me, I’m sympathetic to the plight of finding awesome bras, but they’re out there at your size.

    I am a fan of hipster briefs for myself; I love the look of boyshorts but I hate the seam down middle — so uncomfortable!

    There are some absolutely ridiculous banana hammocks on display here. I actually don’t mind the colors if they weren’t, you know, crazy silly looking to begin with.

  50. I should have been more specific – they don’t come cute at a price that is reasonable for me. Which is a whole other rant, I’m a-feared! ;)

  51. An underwear thread is probably a good place to note that I recently found the perfect bra (for me).

    It’s soft, it’s comfy, it’s pretty, and it fits really, really well. I’m a 38J and it’s the first bra I’ve found in a long time where the middle actually sits against my chest without making my boobs look like they’re growing out of my armpits. It’s got a really stretchy band so I think I could have gone down a band size for a bit more support, but it works really well as is. And, it actually goes up TWO cup sizes from my size (to an L), which is reassuring if I end up going up another cup size the next time we have a baby.

    Anyway, I’d highly recommend giving this one a try, particularly for people with a large cup size in relation to their band size.

  52. Ah, that bra is from – they are an online thingy that covers companies like Simply Yours and Naturally Close. The bra is a Naturally Close one. They are a UK based company,,, but that bra actually cost under £20, so it would still probably not be that much more/less pricey to have someone in the UK order it and send it to you, than to try and find a similar one over your side of the pond, given the price of most bras in larger sizes.

  53. The bra that makes me and my boobs happiest are plunge bras, it seems. I’ve been a tear recently buying up bras and underwear that match, and I’m a sucker for the Lane Bryant hipsters. I can’t do the “cheeky” underwear because I don’t have cheek to fill them out, and boyshorts don’t fit me right.

    As for men’s unmentionables? I’ll know more in about a month and a half when I see my beau. (yay!)

  54. “Everyone wears underwear — or at least they should.”

    No they don’t.

    Wow, next you’ll be telling me that Barry Louis Polisar isn’t a three-toed, triple-eyed, double-jointed dinosaur either.

  55. My romantic experience is sadly limited, so I can’t really say whether I prefer boxers or boxer briefs on men. I’ve seen equally hot underwear models in both. I do agree with all the women who are mildly squicked by the thought of romancing a man in tighty-whities because that’s what Dad wears. My dad wears them too. So not sexay. (Well, not to me. Presumably my mom finds them sexay.)

    I so need to buy new bras and underwear! I’ve gained some weight since I stopped torturing myself with Weight Watchers (quelle surprise), and I think my tits have got a bit bigger. Plus my cheapo undies are starting to wear out. *sigh* I have yet to find a variety of either that is perfectly comfortable.

  56. ah! yes! the stupid seams in boyshort undies! so unpleasant!

    i’ve got some junk in the trunk. i’m also a size 2. underwear fits no differently at this size than it did when i was several sizes up. i still have the option of either 1. involuntary hourly wedgies, 2. unbearably uncomfortable underwear lines thanks to epic elastic slicing into what i KNOW isn’t all that much fat.

    matching sets are creepy. coordinating is way more fun, anyway. like a pink bra with black/pink dotted undies. :) also, while boyfriend doesn’t like lace, i told him TOO BAD ’cause it distributes the elastic and still holds things up. :P

  57. @twilightriver: “Some like the feel of cotton. I share this belief.”

    Liking the feel of something is not a belief. It is a preference.

    Yes, but then the couplet would have had to go:

    “Some like the feel of cotton. I share this preference.
    Likewise I don’t like boxer shorts, though I pretend to, out of deference.”

    or else

    ”Some like the feel of cotton. This preference I share.
    Likewise I don’t like boxer shorts. They mess up all my hair.”


    (Actually, I just just never pass up an opportunity to mangle a rhyming bit of text.)

  58. Oh, and on bras: apparently, the girls are “too” close together, so I have to sew together that tab of fabric between the cups – otherwise the underwire digs into the sides and leave little purple marks. I was 21 before I realized that THIS was why I had never been able to find a bra that fit before. Also – trying on bras one cup at a time. :P *shift* ok, lefty fits… *shift* yep, and righty too.

    I gave up on VS bras because I can’t justify $50+ for something that I still have to alter. $14? Awesome. My new love is a cotton demi from Target. OMG. The colors randomly go on sale based on the location of the Target, so the most I’ve paid is full price at… $10.99… and the low end was $2.38.

  59. Everyone talks about how comfortable boy shorts are, but they always give me a wedgie and make me feel very self-conscious about my thighs. I prefer bikini cut cotton underwear – usually from Target.

  60. My boyfriend always tells me that his favorite “lingerie” on me is a white sports bra…I think it smashes the boobs in and gives me uniboob.

  61. Oh, well now I’m all red in the face. It was only after reading all the comments about boyshorts/hipsters that I even realized there is a difference between the two. I thought they were one in the same and have been calling my hipsters boyshorts all this time. Heh. Well now I know. And now that I know, I can say that I agree with the statement that hipsters are much more comfy than boyshorts.

  62. I’m with you on the boxer briefs thing all the way. They have the amazing power to make any man’s legs and package look incredible!

    Also, as I learned at Burning Man, the phenomenon of men wearing shirts with no underpants is known as Shirtcocking and never looks good.

  63. I don’t mind whatever my man wears under his clothes, so long as it’s clean and not full of holes. Why is it that men will hold onto underwear that is literally falling apart? It’s not like he’s being charged what the charge women to replace them.

    Ok, I do care a little, white undies are a little gross.

  64. I love boxer briefs and boys in booty shorts and boys in boxers and nekkid boys.

    However I must also admit a fervent love of wearing the mid length leged boxer briefs myself. Keeps my ladyjunk happy, doesn’t go up my butt. I dig them.

  65. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a “boxer brief”, and since the link isn’t working at the moment, I’m gonna have to go with loving to see my guy in just about anything… but I especially love his colored briefs (black or blue or something, instead of white), or his few pairs of small, silky boxers. Yum.

  66. Since discovering BBs, my husband wears nothing else. He likes them for containment ; apparently, many men don’t like their junk flopping around loose in boxers, which is why they wear briefs (a far better explanation than what I always thought, which is that guys wear brief because that’s what their mothers always bought for them). I like them because they look like something an adult would wear. Our little nephews wear briefs — usually in a superhero motif. We still see lots of teenage and early 20 guys with their boxers hanging out of their too baggy pans in my neck of the woods for any grown man wearing them to be taken seriously.

    Me: black cotton bikini briefs or hipsters and whatever bras I can find that don’t look like they came from the 1950s/

  67. My husband wears “tighty whities” and while it wasn’t my favorite look at the time I met him, it’s grown on me. I can’t really argue with him that they are the most comfortable option for a larger guy– and comfortable is hot!

  68. Though I am with volcanista on short boxers being far sexier than the long baggy things. Fortunately, the current boy mostly wears the former.

    I wonder if this has to do with penis size, especially if they get an erection? Maybe men with bigger ones can’t keep things covered/protected with short boxers? …Otherwise, I don’t understand why longer ones are so popular. Short ones make men’s legs look HOTTT. IMHO.

    Man, that seam on boyshorts is the entire reason I have never bought a pair. Whoever thought that was a good idea???

  69. i’ve been wearing boxer briefs under skirts/dresses during warmer weather for a while now, and it’s the greatest. no more chubrub!

    i do really like briefs on mens though. my ex basically wore panties with extra junk room, schwing!

  70. Thank you for informing me who Barry is without being at all condescending.

    Given the rest of the post, I thought it was a quote pertaining directly to the linked fashion discussions (which I didn’t see because I’m a luddite who didn’t bother to hunt down the correct plugin to make the links functional.)

    I’ll stay out of discussions for which I do not have the proper cultural literacy to understand. Not everybody has TVs or children or cares.

    P.S. I wrote that post while nekkid and still haven’t bothered to put on underwear despite being clothed.

  71. Boxer briefs: YES PLEASE. My husband always wore boxers until a year or two ago, when he decided to try some boxer briefs just because he found some that were gray and black striped and he thought they looked cool. He loved them so much he went and bought some black ones that are supertight and ohmygodsoHOT. I call them cock bras, but I mock them with love. I seriously cannot resist squeezing his ass whenever I see him in them. Rawr.

    fillyjonk, I am in complete agreement with you about the magic of black tees and jeans. This guy I knew in college seemed to wear every color but black, and then one day I saw him in a black t-shirt and jeans, and I did a doubletake. I couldn’t put my finger on why he suddenly looked so delectable. (Not that he was unattractive before, but…yeah, it was a whole new level.)

    I love sports bras, both on me and on other women. I think they can be mega sexy, though I realize that’s not always what the wearer is going for. I love working in the yard in shorts and a sports bra. I feel simultaneously badass, capable, and sexy. Whoever said they’d especially like a woman in a sports bra if she were drilling some 2 x 4’s together: SECONDED. *fans self*

    My husband loves cheeky undies on me, and I agree they look fantastic, but they ride up my ass like crazy and therefore stay in the back of my dresser drawer unless I am in the mood for seduction. I prefer hipster or bikini briefs, cotton if you please. I’m a comfort-and-performance kind of gal when it comes to underwearz.

    Oh, and matching sets: forget it. I’m not opposed to the idea, but bra sets where the bra is my size (34DD) never seem to come with panties bigger than a medium. WTF?! I knew I was pear-shaped, but come on…is that seriously the size ass they assume goes with that bra??

  72. Oh I agree: boxer briefs for the ultimate win. I’m pretty sure if I saw a picture of Hugo Weaving in boxer briefs I might spontaneously combust. I actually talked my husband into switching from tightie whities to boxer briefs. <3 So hot.

  73. Boxer briefs = HAWT. Damn…

    I pseudo match; I’ve been the ‘black cotton undies’ girl since way back, so they all match each other. I’ve just recently started wearing ‘nude’ , (I don’t do white undies; too granny-panty) as my husband REALLY likes them. Hmmm… Dirty ol’ man. :^)

  74. Sadly, I’ve only seen boxer briefs in photos. Maybe I should buy my husband some for his birthday. :)

    I recently tried boyshorts, thinking they had legs so they wouldn’t crawl up my rear, but no such luck. Then I found Hanes low-rise briefs which do a decent job staying in place. (I had been wearing Jockey briefs, but recently gained weight and had to buy new trousers and jeans, which are all low-rise now, so I had to buy new undies too….)

    Currently I am questing for a bra. So far I have found mostly-comfortable-but-saggy, supportive-but-rubs-all-day, and half a dozen versions of not-found-in-my-size. (I broke down in tears the other night when I tried on a Goddess bra that was super comfy, lifted me up, and was at least two cup sizes too small in the largest one available.) I think I’ve corresponded with than anyone else in the past few months.

  75. I like boxers on men, myself. Although the discussion of short boxers has made me want to find some for my fiance and his sexy legs.

    I used to wear thongs, but they ride up my ass and hurt. So I decided, fuck it, if people don’t like my panty lines that’s their problem, not mine. Now I wear cotton spandex bikini panties (love, love, love). With pretty bras that don’t match, b/c it’s only in the past few years I’ve realised that pretty bras do in fact come in my size and I am taking full advantage.

    My Enell sports bra squishes the crap out of my boobs (I really should have a custom size, the one I have is way too small in the cup area) but holy crap does it work. I can jump up and down in it and my boobs are the only things that don’t jiggle, haha.

  76. Thank you, Sweet Machine.

    I had already Googled him, which was how I figured out that I was being condescended to because I didn’t know who he was or where the quote came from. (Thus my statement that not everybody owns TVs or has children.)

    I had meant to offer a different perspective to the discussion, not draw conscending comments for my cultural illiteracy. Again, I’ll just stay out of here for everybody’s comfort.

  77. On men’s underwear: my husband used to have some boxer briefs, but they apparently believe that men of his size are also tall so they came down too long and apparently chafed and that was pretty much the end of that. Comfort first.

    I’ve been thinking about underwear a lot because the perimenopause fairy visited again and I’ve gone up another cup size so all those lovely plunge bras that put everything in just the right place and gave me such a great silhouette don’t fit anymore. And they don’t come in the new cup size.

    Yes, I had a proper measuring and tried on a gazillion bras and I found some that do make for a nice silhouette but it feels like the central part of the underwire is up around my collarbone. I don’t know how I’m going to find a smooth cup bra that has a decent plunge to it in this size.

    But to make myself feel better about this new state of affairs I did buy a matching set of a different bra (the style of which is seamed so it’s not exactly good for under smooth knits but the underwires are lower) and underwear which I’m not sure if it’s technically a boyshort or a cheeky cut.

    I almost never buy sets because the underwear is usually a bikini which I cannot wear. They either slide down and chafe, or I hike them up and it’s called a wedgie. I usually wear cotton hi-cuts because traditional briefs cut me uncomfortably at the thigh. I don’t care too much if they match or not, although I do like the all black look when I think about it.

    Reading over the comments I am struck again by how *different* our bodies all are. Like bikinis are a definite “no way” for me and are the most comfortable for others. You’d almost think we were all unique people or something.

  78. … I don’t wear knickers under, well, anything other than a skirt. Unless I’m on my period or my weight has swung down to the point of “these pants, my only nice ones, are in real and serious danger of falling off my ass.” And there is the thing I probably shouldn’t admit to on the interwebs.

    (When I do wear them, I like boy shorts.)

    And I love underwire bras and am baffled by people who find them uncomfortable. But but but *what’s holding yours up*?

  79. boxer briefs, boxers, and tighty whities all rock my world, on different people in different contexts. And one of my performers, a trans-man fatlet, wore almost exclusively a black jock-strap (stuffed), with a harness-cut-up t-shirt for our last show, and I was in AWE the whole time. The only thing I’ve seen on guys that I don’t like are the banana-hammock-type bikini briefs. I just end up laughing.

    for myself, Lane Bryant string bikinis, although I wish they would cover more of my lower belly. hipsters and boyshorts fall RIGHT down, as I have no hips to hold them up. g-strings and thongs, grrgh. I want to wear them, I want to love them, but they completely defy one of the primary points of underwear–giving you an extra layer between you and your outerwear, so you don’t have to do so much laundry–AND I have to hike them up so much (owing to lack of hip) that they just plant themselves in my asscrack and make me unhappy.

    The sexiest underwear combo I like to wear myself is a garter belt with stockings, topped with a pair of boxer shorts. top that with an a-shirt and a green satin short robe, and I feel very 1920s chorus girl, hanging out backstage waiting for the costumes to air out before the next show.

  80. I will admit under torture that I do not know what a boxer-brief looks like/ is.

    As to manties in general, I. LOVE. BOXERS!

    I love them on men, they are cute and hot and sexy and flirty and fun and… and I just like them.

    I love them off men too… and they’re easy to remove! Bonus, if you’re feeling too lazy to rip them off they’ve got that handy little slit in the front. Should I be embarrassed to type that? I hope not, because I’m not. ;)

    I love to steal, er, borrow them from men/ buy them for myself. They are cozy and great for lounging around the house in and cute and fun and good for wearing to bed on the rare occasions I want or need to wear clothes to bed and… and I just like them.

    Briefs are just… ugh. No fun. And they NEVER come with insane patterns on them. I am a giant fan of insane-pattern boxers.

    I like the silky ones. I have a black pair with silvery dragons and tigers all over them. SO AWESOME. I saw them as I was walking through Meijer one day and I was all MUST HAVE.

  81. twilightriver, perhaps you should have googled him *before* making your comment, is all I’m saying. Or you could have clicked the link in the post to see if your assumption about what it the Manolo post said was correct. Or you could have figured that the rhyming comical verse was an epigraph to the post and thus not really the point of the post itself.

    Not everybody has TVs or children or cares.

    You do know that none of the bloggers here has kids, right? I really don’t see why you feel that the inclusion of a quote you didn’t recognize without googling is an act of exclusion and condescension.

  82. you guys are making me want to buy more bras! i definitely need a new one from figleaves, but i already did my allowed spending on superfluous stuff for the month, so i am trying to control myself!

    jesus, twilightriver. you weren’t being “condescended to because [you] didn’t know who he was.” you were being snarked (back) at because your first comment came out sounding condescending and lecturing. no one responded to you seriously because it sounded like you were trying to start an argument on a fluff post, and everyone is sick of shit-stirring.

  83. I have one TV and one child and still had no idea who Barry Louis Polisar was. Because we’re a Dan Zanes, Nields, Sweet Honey in the Rock, and Elizabeth Mitchell family here, when it comes to kids’ music.

    Although, while it is just my preference, I do think people should wear underwear, because I think the amount of chafing I’d feel with my pants seam rubbing against my crotch all day if I didn’t would be very annoying. Plus, I’m a fan of wearing pants 2 or 3 or 4 times between washings, and I’m not sure I’d feel okay doing that if I didn’t have underwear on.

    Elizabeth, I’ve found that Goddess bras (pretty much the only brand that both fits and is within my price range) vary quite a bit in sizing. I have a bra from them that is a 38K that is very, very snug (I feel like I could use at least one cup size up, and the band digs in) and then another in a 38J where I could easily have gone down one band size, and possibly even a cup size. I linked to this one before, but this one goes up to an L cup (although, unfortunately, only in 36, 38, and 40, so it won’t work for a lot of people, although you could probably go down one band size from your usual, because it’s so stretchy.)

    There’s also Decent Exposures, which makes custom-made bras for a pretty reasonable price. They don’t give you a huge amount of lift, but they are really, really soft and give the right amount of support to be very comfortable, if not to give the illusion of perky boobies.

    And if you really can’t find a bra that fits, there’s always a chance you might find a nursing bra that works, even if you aren’t breastfeeding. They sometimes have larger cup sizes than other bras of a similar price, and usually give a lot of support. I wore my nursing bras about a year after I was done breastfeeding, and only got rid of them because they were literally starting to fall apart.

  84. Yeah, okay, love the guy-in-tops-but-no-bottoms look. Anybody remember Animal House, the prof with just the T-shirt? Mmmm. And my guy just finished cooking his omelet that way. Omelet…mmm some more. :-)

  85. This is totally O/T, but I was just browsing through the Decent Exposures site, and I’m really disappointed in the changes they made since last time I saw the site three or four years ago. It used to be much more size-friendly and have pictures of women of different sizes and ages wearing their bras. This used to be the picture on their front page, which I thought was great, but it’s nowhere to be seen on their new site. Anyway, just wanted to note that, while the company still offers a range of sizes and has testimonials from women of all sizes, they seem to have gotten rid of the pictures of larger women, which is really depressing. :(

  86. Lori — Yes, I have another Goddess bra in the same size that fits perfectly (and rubbed painful welts onto the backs of my shoulders after only two hours).

    I’ve only just given up on soft cups and decided to try underwires (which in the past have never been comfortable). I’ll add that Goddess bra to the long list of ones to try. One thing I like about the Goddesses I’ve tried is that it’s possible to make their straps short enough without a visit to a tailor.

    Just don’t get me started on nursing bras. :) It drives me nuts when they turn up in my search results for plus-size bras, like I’m only allowed to have giant boobs if a pregnancy made them that way.

  87. Seems I’m a little late, but my two-pennorth: sports bras are awesome. Every time I’ve been on hormonal contraceptives I’ve moved up another cup size, and, yeah, ow. Marks and Spencer make my favourite bras of all types, including two sports bras of mine, one of which zips up the front :)

  88. I have one TV and one child and still had no idea who Barry Louis Polisar was.

    He’s pretty old-school… I did have a TV as a child but I heard BLP on my record player. (I didn’t even know that he’d been on TV, if indeed he has.) I LOVED him though — possibly worth looking up, though it sounds like maybe you guys aren’t into the silly kids’ songs. I particularly liked “Don’t Put Your Finger Up Your Nose,” which is sound advice that I hope we’ll all agree not to get huffy about.

  89. My BF wears a sort of combo of boxer/boxer brief and they are super-cute. They aren’t tight but they aren’t baggy, and he has like 50 packs of them stockpiled so will probably be wearing them for the next 15 years.

    All my underpants are black because I bleed on them a lot. I wear bikinis and various types of ‘shorts’. I find thongs comfortable but don’t like the way they look.

    My bras are all different colors because I am a hard-to-find size. I only recently found out how bra fitting really (should) works – at least in the UK where they are smarter about these things – and I am in fact a 28C (was wearing 32As and it was torturous) and FINALLY comfortable! Even in an underwire! If underwires are uncomfortable, ladies, it’s just a matter of wearing the wrong size. If you are in the right size, the underwires don’t press, squeeze or poke any part of your boob or body.

    I have to order everything online, and it ain’t cheap, but is SO worth it.

  90. Lori: Because we’re a Dan Zanes, Nields, Sweet Honey in the Rock, and Elizabeth Mitchell family here, when it comes to kids’ music.

    Lori, have you discovered Justin Roberts yet? It seems like we have some similar tastes, so you might like him. Different musical style than some you mentioned, but intelligent lyrics, which I find is often missing from kids’ music. (Not that every song for kids has to pull of dazzling internal sondheim-esque rhymes — I think Fred Rogers’ “Tree Tree Tree” is a great kids’ song, and adults’ song — but some kids’ music is so twee and cloying it’s really grody. Not Justin Roberts.)

  91. er, “which I find *are* often missing from kids’ music.” My bad, sorry. The ghost of my sixth grade grammar teacher haunts me still.

  92. Boxer briefs: absolutely. Tightie-whities: gack (sorry, old school guys, but I despise them utterly). Favorite: Mansilk boxer briefs (in spite of the over the top name). Very nice stretchie soft silk but not satiny: love them, and they make a nice pampering sort of present. because they’re extra-luxurious-feeling.

    Sports bras – I have to have an underwire, so when I find a good bra-shaped sports bra (vs shelf style) that fits properly I buy them out. The unstructured ones just make monoboob out of me, which I find hot and uncomfortable.

    I like the Champion Powerback Sports Bra (held up to karate, which also means it held up to constant washing). There was one that had a regular back vs. the racerback which was also great, but I have a hard time finding it now.

    (Have missed you all in my little blogular hiatus – hi!)

  93. This is what I think about boxers: I want my man to wear them. Specifically, I want my man to wear silk boxer so I can feel them. On him. I would not be the only beneficiary of the sensory enjoyment. It’s also why I believe himself should wear silk pajamas.

    Sadly I have yet to convince him.

    Also, I’m not sure anyone makes silk unmentionables in his size.

  94. I also had no idea who Barry Louis Polisar was before this post, and I have no children (and no TV). BUT. While we’re plugging kids’ musicians, my friend Meg’s brother is in this band, and if I had kids, I would find their music unusually tolerable.

  95. I wear all kinds of underwear, being genderqueer. Women’s low rise cotton undies, thongs, boy shorts, boxers, and boxer briefs, which happen to be the most comfortable in my opinion (and are GREAT for running).

    I also have all kinds of bras – very tight sports bras (for a more dudely appearance), normal-fitting sports bras, classy regular bras, and nursing bras (which hopefully will be permanently retired soon!).

    People tend to look best in what they feel most comfortable in.

  96. Kate, I was just playing through the samples of the band you linked to and, wow, it was like catnip for kids… they both came over and intruded on my personal space to see what had sent their senses into such delight. Thanks for passing that along! Course, ot helped that the first was about monkeys and both my kids were like MONKEYS WHAT? But indeed, as you say, for kids’ music, it is unusually tolerable.

  97. Girlfriends in boxer briefs — check. Girlfriends in French knickers — check. I am not so big a fan of gfs in “normal” boxers, but they say they are more comfortable, and I will take comfortable gfs over uncomfortable ones everytime.

    We are all fans of 50s-sytle balconette bras, or other wise prettily-decorated ones. I am currently in a pinky-purpley one with black pinstripes and little bows. It is AWESOME. I tend to buy one or two pretty bras and then wear them TO DEATH though, because I do not have that much money to spend on the pretty.

    I went through a thong phase (to the extent that I skied in a thong, on more than one occasion. MADNESS) but am well past that now. Lacey short-type underwear is my current kick. They’re comfy, they cover everything, I enjoy knowing I’m wearing girly things under boyjeans, and they look great. I am with my gfs on the boxer briefs being comfy and great looking, however. I may branch further along my route into all!lesbianism!all!the!time! and buy some. Woo.

    Also, sports bras are hot as fuck. Especially those ones that do that scoopy thing in the back so you can see all of the shoulders. *dies*

    Course, ot helped that the first was about monkeys and both my kids were like MONKEYS WHAT?

    There is something about “XX WHAT?” that I will never stop finding hilarious.

  98. Dang, Caitlin, if I ever talk my husband into nonmonogamy, will you be my travel agent?

    (Also, I’m so glad you’re back and had a super duper time. Love your comments this PM.)

  99. So I had this awesome conversion experience a couple of months ago – really, it was just like finding Jesus, only He had underwires! I bought this bra at Winners ( the Canadian equivalent of TJ Maxx, I think) and put it on… and it was a nice bra, matte black with shiny trim, propped up my boobs nicely, all of that. I wore it for two days before I realized that something was… different. Something was missing… but what was it? Boobs still nicely in place, cute little bow in the front… shoulder straps still on my shoulders. And then I realized that ths shoulder straps had not slipped off my shoulders AT ALL! For two whole days I had not had to do that so-much-a-habit-it’s-instinct reach and PULL up the errant strap move that I have done since the first day I put on a bra, thirty years ago.
    I HAD NO IDEA that there were bras out there (beside racer-back sports bras, which give me tube-boob) that stayed up ALL THE TIME. I’ve bought expensive bras, cheap bras, had favourite bras and bras I hated, and they all had straps that fell off my shoulders all the time. (For the record, I have broad, not-really sloping shoulders, so it’s not, like, bra-strap failure genes or anything) I thought that bras just did that – the straps slip, you pull them up, they slip, you pull them up. I had no idea that life could be better than that – that there was a world where bra straps did not slip all day long, and I could live in that world. (not being disingenuous – I bet we all have these small things that have bugged us for years and we have no idea we can change -until we do)

    Now all I have to worry about is never finding the same bra again. (don’t you hate it when that happens?)

    And the bra is a Warners 4100, in case anyone is looking!

  100. “no one responded to you seriously because it sounded like you were trying to start an argument on a fluff post, and everyone is sick of shit-stirring.”

    It would have been nice if someone had just said so instead of snarking at me so that I could actually Google the guy and write a response more appropriate to the discussion.

    I’m not a bleeding troll. I didn’t expect to be smacked like one. A gentle correction would have sufficed.

    My original response was appropriate to my understanding of the situation. It was an overreaction to the actual context of the situation. Now that my understanding is clear, I own that. I also own that it may be deemed an over reaction to take my leave because the misunderstanding has been cleared up. However, it was not cleared up by anything that happened in this context (until long after I figured it out with the help of outside friends.) So, it’s safe to assume that future misunderstandings would result in the same series of events. I’m not open to that.

    You have a good community here. Keep loving and supporting each other and having fun together. Try to avoid seeing malice where none is intended.

  101. I’m not a bleeding troll. I didn’t expect to be smacked like one. A gentle correction would have sufficed.

    twilightriver, I can’t speak for Fillyjonk, but FWIW, I think some people think that a “gentle correction” is *precisely* a humorous remark with a “hey, now, back off a little” edge. (Or at least I do, and I don’t think I’m so strange.) The superficial humor allows everyone to save face, while the assertive subtext signals that a boundary’s been encroached upon.

    Versus someone saying in front of everyone else, “Attention twilightriver! Your initial comment on this thread sounded like you were lecturing everyone on why they were inadequate or incorrect for talking about what they were talking about!” If I were in your shoes and someone did that, it would feel like a *huge* and very public correction to a relatively slight infraction, and I’d feel embarrassed by the public calling-out.

    I’m not saying that’s the *right* way to perceive it, let alone the only way. But I think that difference in perception is worth getting out there. Just to share an item or two from my own experience: I have a couple of friends who place an extreme value on frankness, for whom my tendency to qualify things smacks of maddening passive aggression bordering on dishonestly.

    Whereas from my standpoint, their constant bluntness sometimes causes me to wonder whether they ever have any actual *empathy* for me (something I value highly in friendships); or are, instead, just constantly evaluating me and occasionally pronouncing upon when I measure up to their sacrosanct standards.

    Of course these tendencies run against each other with some frequency. We hurt each other’s feelings, we talk about it, we make up, we realize again how different we are, and we come to expect to have more of these misunderstandings in the future, which we’re willing to do for the sake of the friendship.

  102. Back to underthings:

    Lillipilli, a fatshionista who blogs about style at, had a post a while back about getting an Etsy seller to make her a bunch of custom pretty underthings. This is my plan for when I win the lottery.

  103. but FWIW, I think some people think that a “gentle correction” is *precisely* a humorous remark with a “hey, now, back off a little” edge. (Or at least I do, and I don’t think I’m so strange.) The superficial humor allows everyone to save face, while the assertive subtext signals that a boundary’s been encroached upon.

    Yep. This is what happened, and frankly, twilightriver, you’ve been around here enough to observe it happen before. We know you’re not a troll, which is precisely why we DIDN’T treat you as one. Trolls get mocked, banned, and possibly douchehounded; you got what read to me as a *very* gentle snarking. I appreciate that you exited the conversation after that, but if you expect an apology for being “smacked,” you’re not going to get one.

  104. I can’t say one way or another about boxer briefs. If there are not tighty whities involved, it’s all good. Anyway, I wear thongs. Ever since I discovered them, I have been hooked. It’s almost like not wearing underwear, and usually, the whole ‘OMG! string up your butt!’ this is not a problem. I have colorful underwear and plain colored bras, so they ‘match,’ kind of, by default. I’m too broke for matching sets. :)

  105. No apology required or desired.

    Trolls get mocked. I thought that’s what you were doing to me. I figured banning was next if I didn’t leave on my own.

    I was merely clarifying my position before taking my leave. If I had wanted an apology, I would have asked for one. This is a textual medium, I don’t mess around with ambiguity and subtext because I don’t usually pick up on either. I didn’t even know your responses were snark until a friend explained it to me.

    The fact that nobody seems to be able to understand what I’m actually saying and everybody keeps responding to what they think I am saying is the entire reason I’m leaving. My inability to make myself understood here means that this will only happen again and again for as long as I stay.

    If I keep reading the blog, I’ll just forget that this happened, because I don’t have the attention span to stay mad about stuff, and it will happen again. Rather than put us all through another round of “twilightriver lacks the basic social skills to understand anything that isn’t directly stated in a textual medium” I’m taking my leave of the community and the blog.

    As in all textual media, I have stated my closing position and stuck around to make one clarification. Any further response to me will not be seen by me as I will not be here to see it.

    Again, I wish you all the very best.

  106. The fact that nobody seems to be able to understand what I’m actually saying and everybody keeps responding to what they think I am saying is the entire reason I’m leaving.

    The fact that you keep saying you’re leaving and then keep being around is part of why I think that the communication issue is your problem, not everyone else’s.

    That’s not even social skills; it’s basic denotative meaning.

    If you want to flounce because you had a knee-jerk contentious reaction to a piece of children’s doggerel and only hit google after spouting off instead of before, that’s your business. People react in all sorts of ways to doing something dumb and having others notice. If you were a friend of mine, I’d tell you that you were blowing things way out of proportion, but you’re not, and it’s your business how you feel.

    But if you want to go, go. Stop coming back trying to explain how it’s everyone else’s fault.

  107. Dang, Caitlin, if I ever talk my husband into nonmonogamy, will you be my travel agent?

    A Sarah, I am SO THERE.

  108. Oh yes, boxer briefs please. When my now-husband and I met in college, he wore briefs in assorted colors. Those are better than actually white tighty-whities, but only a little. After we graduated and moved in together, I waged an effective switching campaign. Now it’s all boxer briefs, YAY.

    I hardly ever wear actual sports bras, but that’s because I can’t run. I do wear the Lane Bryant cotton wire-free ones a lot. That started when I had to get a bunch of breast biopsies when I was about 20– I couldn’t wear anything with wires, and I had to sleep in them too while I had stitches–and they’re very comfy, so I wear them a lot.

    I generally coordinate my bras and knickers with my clothes–dark shirts get dark bras, etc. With jeans, it doesn’t really matter what color I wear, so if I’m wearing, say, a teal shirt, then I might have teal knickers. I mainly wear the cotton Lane Bryant ones and have lots of colorful ones. They’re cheerful.

    I do wish LB had better full-coverage wire bras. Their demis are too low, and their full-coverage ones have no support in the cups. I keep writing in to suggest that they make a full-coverage bra out of the balconette material and light padding, but no luck yet. They had a good version about 18 months ago and I bought four, but of course they discontinued it. Sigh.

    Now I’m gonna go see if hubby wants to show me his boxer briefs. ;-)

  109. So this is days after Friday fluff…but, I just have to say I despise, no, HATE tighty whities…and meanly think they should be banned from the planet. BUT…speaking of underthings. My discovery of camis a couple of years ago was the best thing in the world for me. I can make shorter shorts longer, smooth out lines and waist bumps created by my pants, and cover up the bumpy parts of lacy bras, or make bits of lace show up around my cleavage or under the hems of my shirts. I really think they have changed my wardrobe life. Maybe it makes up just a little bit for how much bras are a PITA.

  110. To Kimberley O: I have “warners 4100” on my lap and I came here googling “warners 4100”. Been looking for the same bra for about 4-5 mnths. No luck. Decided to try to find it on the Internet. Will let you know if I find it :)

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