Because I am fat and lazy. And still kind of sick, and only just finished with editing the book. Posting will resume eventually.
In the meantime, here’s a quote from a Rilke letter, which was one of the readings at FJ’s wedding. A few years ago, a friend of mine asked me to do a reading at her wedding — and asked me to choose what to read, since I had the English degree and all. I pored over my Nortons and poetry books and a gazillion websites for days, and I couldn’t find anything that wasn’t nauseating. Then I ran across this passage, and I decided it was perfect — none of this “two become one” shit, but a genuine insight into how a long-term relationship actually works:
The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.
So I read that. And it went over like a lead balloon. Granted, we were outdoors with planes flying overhead, so it’s entirely possible that no one heard anything but “merging of two people is an impossibility,” “hemming-in,” and “robs… both parties of their fullest freedom and development.” Still, I felt I’d chosen poorly. Especially since, right after I finished, the justice of the peace said, “Today, L & J become one!” Oops!
But I still loved the reading, dammit, so I was tickled to see it come up again at a wedding where the couple had chosen it. What do y’all think of that sentiment, Shapelings? Are two people supposed to “become one” when they get married? Or is it better to always see “each other as a whole and before an immense sky”? Obviously, you know where I stand on that question.
Talk amongst yourselves.