From the Department of Oh, For Fuck’s Sake comes this article about “liposculpting”–liposuction done on already very thin and/or muscular people who want to look more like… well, sculptures.
THEY are the last people you’d think need liposuction — personal trainers, runners, gym rats and everyday athletes who spend hours each week trying to sculpt a perfect physique — yet no matter their routine, that chiseled hard-bodied look has somehow eluded them.
Yeah, you think maybe that’s because “that chiseled hard-bodied look” is, you know, COMPLETELY UNNATURAL?
Nope, not if you ask Tito Hernandez, a personal trainer who “wanted the six-pack abs [he] had when [he] was younger.” (Stupid aging!) After the surgery:
“Everything looks better,” he said. “It looks more natural now — and it has gotten me more clients.”
Emphasis mine. Shooting pain behind the right eye also mine.
So, yeah. If, by working out hours every day, you still can’t get that natural made-of-marble look? There’s always surgery. To look more natural.
Of course, the surgery doesn’t actually stop your body’s stubborn quest to make you look unnatural by protecting your bones and organs with an unsightly layer of fat.
If a patient ever gains more than 15 pounds, “much of the definition goes away,” said [Dr. John] Millard….
You don’t say. Aaand, wait for it —
“…This is not a license to eat ice cream.”
Fortunately, this is. And it’s a lot cheaper than lipo.