So, just now, I found this in my inbox, right after reading about it over at Shakesville:
I have good reason to believe the government conservatives and liberals alike are covering up the existence of bigfoot or “susquatch” as sometimes it is known. Please say something about this on your blogs guys, it’s vary important and your lifes may depend on it when the bigfoots come out of hiding.
PLEASE TELL YOUR READERS ABOUT BIGFOOT, IT’S IMPORTANT AND THEY NEED TO KNOW AND YOU ALL REACH LARGE AUDIANCES.PLEASE DO THIS FOR ME AND FOR EVERYONE.
I can give you evedance if you need it.
As Liss said, consider yourself warned.
And that’s not all that lands in my inbox now that I’m mildly internet famous. I’ve been reporting all the e-mails about how Hillary Clinton is a satanist covering up the existence of aliens or some shit as spam, or I’d share one of those with you now. But check out this shit, which showed up yesterday, subject line: “An opportunity to review new CD for your healthy image blog.”
We’re currently working with SkinnySongs founder and lyricist, Heidi Roizen, to communicate with high-quality bloggers about her album entitled, “SkinnySongs.” It is our hope that you’ll be interested in receiving a copy of the album for review on your blog.
SkinnySongs isn’t about dieting, and it’s not workout music.
Okay. Not about dieting is good, though I wouldn’t mind if it were workout music.
Rather, SkinnySongs is the first radio-hit-quality music specifically written for empowering and inspiring people to reach their weight and fitness goals.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
And it gets better.
Penned by Roizen herself, SkinnySongs reflects her own personal journey:
“About seven months ago I hit an all-time high, I had gone from a size 8 to a size 14. Facing my 50th birthday, I did not want to enter the ‘back half’ not feeling good about myself, and at an unhealthy weight…”
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Yes, god forbid a menopausal woman should gain enough weight to kick her up to an “unhealthy” size 14. THE HORROR.
You know, Al deals with asshole spammers who throw shit all over just to see where it sticks every day, and yet I never cease to be amazed that there are still people out there who think this is a reasonable marketing strategy.
And the worst part is, the Skinny Songs thing came from an independent company that apparently gets paid to hook up clients with appropriate blogs. Because Shapelings are SO TOTALLY the right market for a CD meant to inspire women to “achieve their weight loss goals.” Written and performed by someone who thinks being the size of the average American woman at age 50 automatically made her unhealthy. AWESOME JOB, GUYS! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
And watch out for the Bigfoots. They’re coming.
Update: The person who sent the e-mail about Skinny Songs has now sent a very gracious e-mail apologizing for getting it so wrong. All my comments about the original press release stand, but that was a stand-up move, which I appreciate.