Frequent commenter (and author in her own right) Alexandra Erin has been cracking you up with her mordant wit for a while now. But she has absolutely fucking outdone herself with the new website for The Health Institute for Nutrition, a project to which I dearly hope she will let me contribute even though I am not nearly as funny as she is.
Here’s an excerpt from the most recent entry, “Potatoes: The Silent Killer” — inspired by the expert nutritional advice dispensed yesterday by Dr. Jennifer Ashton, who if we didn’t mention it is a fucking gynecologist.
Would you let your child eat an explosive device? Probably not. If your child cracked open a battery and consumed the contents, you would probably call poison control.
Yet if your child ate a potato, would you even think twice?
Think about it: thousands of children and college students across the country have enjoyed blowing up potatoes in microwaves. Chemical energy stored within them is used in elementary school science experiments to power clocks and other small electronic devices.
That chemical energy? It’s called starch. Starch is a carbohydrate, a word which comes to us from Greek. Note the presence of the word “hydra” in the middle there. In Greek myth, the hydra was a dragon-like serpent with multiple heads who could not be killed. This is all you have to know about carbohydrates.
And here’s T.H.I.N’s position on fat bloggers:
All that stands in the way of this dangerously subversive group is the fashion industry, the pharmaceutical companies, the weight loss industry, the carefully cultivated self-loathing of fat people themselves, and ten thousand years of patriarchal thinking. How can our lovingly entrenched ideas about health and beauty hope to survive the onslaught from the well-organized “bloggers” of the so-called “Fatosphere”?
Sweet Jesus this stuff is funny.
I hope Alexandra keeps this up for a good long time. First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, THEN YOU MERCILESSLY SATIRIZE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THEM, then you win.
(ETA: But please consume carefully, because onions are a WHITE food.)