I don’t know how I missed this for over a week, but Colleen at The Pretty Pear wrote a wonderfully honest post about being a fat acceptance blogger and still falling victim to the call of dieting.
But I see now that words of encouragement and girl power and yay you! aren’t always enough. If you still have it in your head, no matter how buried or deep it is, that being fat is BAD, then all of the “real women have curves” catch phrases in the WORLD are not going to make you 100% comfortable with your body. There’s real work involved. You have to really try and struggle and like me, you may slip a little.
That is the goddamned truth, right there. Part of the reason I write this blog daily, bang this drum incessantly, is that it took me so long to get over secretly thinking, “Yeah, fat acceptance is a great concept, but if I just diet one more time and keep it off, I can be thin AND argue in favor of fat acceptance. Win-win!” I mean, I’m talking years between first hearing about the concept of fat acceptance, learning about all the evidence that contradicts what we’re told, and actually accepting my fat.
Which, truth be told, I can only honestly say I’ve done about 95%. I have bad days, like everybody. I don’t consider dieting anymore, but I have occasional thoughts like, “If I start swimming — only because I love to swim! — maybe I’ll drop 10 pounds. That would make shopping easier!”
Fortunately, that’s immediately followed by, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING? If you want to swim because you love it, do it, but whether you lose weight is completely irrelevant, remember? You’re healthy and you look fine, remember? Also, shopping wasn’t any easier when you were a goddamn size 4, because you were still a short hourglass, remember? Also, you blog about fat acceptance, remember???”
But it’s there. It’s always there. And I know that for a lot of readers who are new to fat acceptance, it’s not only there but still winning the battle more often than not. I know I had to have all these messages pounded into my head, over and over, before I could honestly say I love my body more than I don’t.
We are up against some hardcore indoctrination, y’all. Getting past it does not happen easily or quickly. Colleen rocks for being so candid about that.
Having said that, I hate her a little for making me aware of this dress, because man, my credit card just doesn’t need that right now.