Then I read something like this:
As an immature asshole not so long ago, I wasn’t so kind to transpeople, in a vague mocking way. Reading this I realized that my attitude was worse than I had thought, I had been providing the foundation for these fuckers in society, allowed them to feel more accepted with their hatred than transpeople ever have. I’m so sorry now..
or this:
Like I said before. I fuck up, but I’m open and teachable.

It gives me hope. Sometimes that’s all I have to live on (I knew one of the victims commemorated in this year’s TDOR you see.)

I’d like to say thanks to those, and others, who have given me this great gift. And I hope that when I screw up by the numbers, that I have your integrity and humanity too, you’ve set an example to me.

Hugs, Zoe

I understand the need to unpack our cisgendered privilege, but I believe for this post it imperative we not wade too far into process-y waters.

This is for folks up thread and is written in the spirit of kindness.

I’m not the best person to answer regarding the usage of crossdresser, as I don’t identify as one and the dynamics of crossdressing are very different for female-to-male spectrum individuals (and the term rarely is applied to trans male folks), but Grafton’s response covers a good part of it. (Also, my trans female spectrum partner suggested that the word’s use in Rocky Horror’s “Sweet Transvite”–a fun movie but one that’s full of trans fail–might be a factor.)

I’ll also add that, to the best of my knowledge, “transvestite” IS preferred usage in some places outside the U.S.–so it might be the preferred terminology where you are. I can’t say with any certainty, though, I’m afraid.

snarkysmachine,

“1. Insist the rape crisis/domestic violence shelters in your area provide services to Transwomen and call them OUT when they do not.”

The entire list is great, but I think this is a super important one. I’d also add that fighting for employment protections is also a vital component–being unemployed and underemployed leaves people vulnerable, including being vulnerable to violence.

Allie,

“But I do feel that not having that desire and experiencing that physical dysphoria is really disqualifies someone from belonging to the transsexual branch of the transgender community.”

How much dysphoria? Of what type and of what duration? If I can’t stand my chest and want top surgery, but don’t want hormones or bottom surgery, can I be “allowed” into the transsexual club? What if I want hormones but don’t want any surgeries? What if the dysphoria is bad enough that I want hormones but not so bad that I’ll kill myself if I can’t access them? Who gets to decide what level of dysphoria is enough to qualify for transsexualism? You? Me? Harry Benjamin’s ghost?

There are very real and very important differences within transgender subcommunities, and I don’t deny that’s important to recognize this so that everyone’s relevant issues can be properly addressed. (My first comment in this thread was very specific to TDOR and not meant for addressing trans issues in general, just for the record.) But I’m categorically against anyone deciding who is and who isn’t a “transsexual”–or, for that matter, genderqueer or a crossdresser or transgender–except for that individual deciding for hirself.

It’s possible to have a “need” and recognize that the reality of medical technology is just plain not up to fulfilling it, or to have other realities (legal, social, etc.) that conflict with it. I know far more trans men who don’t intend to have their basements redecorated (please excuse the technical medical jargon) than who do… if any of them identify as transsexual, quibbling over that and saying “Well, I’ll give you transgendered but you’re not really transsexual if you can live without a penis.” is creating a sort of hierarchy.

I agree. I didn’t say that people who are non-op are not transsexual, but it’s my opinion that the desire to change one’s body has to be there. One may not act on that desire because of dissatisfaction with the surgical possibilities, health reasons, money, or other things. I don’t at all think there should be a requirement for surgery. But I do feel that not having that desire and experiencing that physical dysphoria is really disqualifies someone from belonging to the transsexual branch of the transgender community.

The reason I think it matters, though, is that while all of us fight for some form of social acceptance, it’s primarily the transsexual community that requires medical assistance that can be arduous to obtain. So I do think there needs to be some sort of differentiation between the two, and always putting everyone in a single, gender-variant box really glosses over the different needs of everyone involved.