Damn, you’re right. That’s a really well-done movie. I can see how it would be really personally powerful if you found it at exactly the right time. I want to watch it again, because there was so much going on I am sure I missed a lot.

I love it when the things we need come to us. It doesn’t always happen, but when it does, it makes such a difference.

There’s absolutely no comparison between the two movies either thematically or in terms of quality, but A Knight’s Tale was that movie for me. It gave me totally painless happiness during a time when I was having panic attacks that lasted for hours, oh god the SUCK, and it gave me hope that I could change my stars. It’s hard for me to watch now on account of how I still sort of cry every time I hear Heath Ledger laugh, but I’m through and well past the worst, when I needed it most.

During a particularly difficult time in my life, when everything was shitty, and everyone was telling me to “cheer up” and “be positive” I wrote WWDVD for “What Would Darth Vader Do” on the inside of my wrist everyday (this was at the height of the WWJD fad so no one bothered me about it, probably figuring I was stupid). Then whenever something went wrong or someone was pissing me off (which was always), I would think “Hmmm, well what WOULD Darth Vader do?” and immediately answer with “CHOKE SOMEONE WITH HIS MIND!” Try it. I swear, instant mood lifter.

Plus it is helpful in relationships. Sometimes when my husband is complaining or otherwise annoying the hell out of me I’ll look at him really intently until he stops and says “you’re choking me with your mind, aren’t you?” Then we both laugh.

I like “chunkerbutt” because it sounds like the kind of loving endearment I would use for my kids. It’s actually quite close to what I say to my son when I’m snuggling on him. “Look at these chunky thighs!” I <3 them, they're adorable. So… why wouldn't "chunkerbutt" be the same? I can say it TO MYSELF!! *brain esplodey!*

Ok, it's probably sick and twisted and I'm gonna screw my kids up for life. I also taught my younger one that he's cute. "Are you cute?" "YEAH! I'm COOT!" (This is also not mentioning that I sing Decemberists songs to him to put him to sleep. Leslie Ann Levine, being about a dead baby, is PROBABLY not an image that will comfort him when he actually understands what the song is about, but for now, it's a song I can comfortably sing and it's adorable when he "sings" with me.)

End of long-winded and meandering comment!

Sounds like you’ve got the start of a really strong essay there. ;-) I’m intrigued by your framing and I’d like to read more.

I’ve taken to singing songs in Vader voice. My current favorite being Cyndi Lauper’s “All Through the Night”.

But Vader’s more of a song stylist, like Johnny Cash. He talks his songs!

The thing is, they’re labouring under the FoBT/anorexic ideation too. It has similar effects on you whether you succumb to anorexia or not. It is the control thing Meems mentioned that keeps us dieting, that is the thing most similar to ‘addiction’, or dependency.

We’ve all caught the same affliction-us and the rest of society because it’s from the same source. The difference is in our own circumstance and our body’s response to have we act on it. That’s what differenciates anorexic ideation from anorexia proper.

Anorexics have been trying to convey some of these things to us, but the disconnect between dieting and anorexia, and our attention on the physical results of starvation, meant we were not quite able to communicate with each other.

Fortunately I have this great site, but you all know how hard it is. Even when you’re in the advanced fat acceptance stage, TFoBT is strong and tenacious. But then I remember the time that most of the women in my workplace started Weight Watchers together, I lasted less than two weeks. Sometime before the second weigh-in, I decided that I just didn’t hate myself enough to do it. And that was before I discovered this site and the rest of the fatosphere.

OH MY HOLY FUCK YES