Fluffcation: Real names of prosimians
2009 October 28
Bush babies
Unless, of course, some Wikipedian is punking me, these guys are all related to our friends the lemurs. Say hello to your new friends:
False Potto
Madame Berthe’s Mouse Lemur
Prince Demidoff’s Bushbaby
Southern Needle-clawed Bushbaby
Lesser Iron-gray Dwarf Lemur
And, my personal favorite: Grewcock’s Sportive Lemur
The False Potto’s scientific name is, apparently, Pseudopotto martini. Clearly, this is a fantastic cocktail in the making, so Shapelings, have at it: what’s in a Pseudopotto martini?
Some kind of plant that tastes, smells and looks like marijuana, but really isn’t. But better than the Pseudopotto brownie, on account of the booze.
hmmmmm….vodka, orange Liqueur, grenadine, grapefruit juice, and lime salt on the rim….i have no idea if that would be any good or if it already exists, lol – but this was fun :)
Pseudopotto martini should be made of gin, vermouth, and a crystalized edible flower.
A glass with chocolate drizzled across the inside surface; vodka, sweet vermouth, and crushed mango.
Or maybe I’m just craving something tropical-y because it’s snowing!
Pseudopotti martini should be one of those disgusting drinks that’s made to look like something nasty, but actually tastes quite good. In this case, I’d imagine it as blue, like loo-water. Which would mean it either has blue curacao in it, or Paz food colouring.
My father kept bushbabies for a few years; my mother put her foot down on them being free-roaming when my brother was born because they liked warm places (such as a baby’s crib), and when they jump, they kick off with amazing force (not a good thing when they’re sitting on the baby’s stomach). I do love the story of the first day they came home, though – they disappeared, and my Mum and Dad searched everywhere, not finding them. They figured they’d show up when they got hungry, and went to bed. As they lay down, one of the pillows moved; the bushbabies (they were a pair) had crawled to the end of one of the pillowcases and snuggled up for their daily nap (BBs are nocturnal, and they came home in the morning).
One of our cats similarly disappeared her first night home; I found her up the chimney, perched on the open flue. Fortunately, it was summer.
Gin, vermouth, and a crushed hempseed-encrusted rim.
Prosimians are much less developed than our simian ancestors, and often maintain vestigial traits that apes and chimps have long since dropped in favor of getting HUGE HUGE brains instead. That is, they are closer to the sludge from whence all developed sludge came, which also apparently means that the proto-sludge was totally freakin’ adorable to compensate for not having thumbs or the ability to fashion tools.
So I suggest that the Pseudopotto is not, in fact, *a* drink, but a *way* to drink. Psuedopotto is when you drink something your great-grandpa used to force down his muzzle, which you were pretty sure he was only capable of drinking because he was super old (ex: my grandpa used to put pepper in his gin, because he was old and grizzled and, uh, also an alcoholic). You drink said concoction while wearing clothing that is both non-functional and totally out of style but SUPER CUTE. While drinking, you are only allowed to discuss topics which have thoroughly been resolved, unless you have been living under a rock or within the proto-sludge (“I say, old chap, but have you ever stopped to wonder if there may be microscopic living creatures that transmit illness from one body to the next? Pick your monocle up, fellow, you and I know it’s humors what cause the polio, and a good dose of laudunum the cure!”). You must also, as a rule, absolutely NOT allow the conversation to advance your ideas in any significant way, as this will cause the Pseudopotto to end prematurely, and force you to drink something sensible in sweatpants while reading the news. And who wants that?
I love lemurs.
But even more than lemurs, I love slow lorris… …es. (?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4
also, pretty much any of the related videos will result in muffled squeeing.
That is all.
Harriet Jacobs! Welcome! I have a total blogcrush on you.
WP: “Pottos have a distinct odor that some observers have likened to curry.”
Likewise!
When I got posted here, it was hard to find somebody to share my excitement. I was all, “You guys! I just got posted on Shapely Prose!” “Huh?” “You know, Kate Harding and Sweet Machine and all them…” “Who?” “THE FAT BLOG!!!” “Oh, that reminds me, I’m so fat.” “GODDAMMIT.”
rien, it is now my fondest ambition in life to tickle a slow lemur. Thank you for giving my life purpose.
I am not sure if they are discussing the right topics, but this was pretty much my visualization of Harriet’s suggestion: http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1425
@shinobi
Mmmmyes, quite so.
P.S. Imagine me saying that while stroking my imaginary fancy mustache
P.P.S. It is REALLY fancy
This fancy? OR MORE?
“Who?” “THE FAT BLOG!!!”
ITYM “lemur blog.”
(Also, holy shit, Harriet Jacobs! Hi I love you. Your mustache is the fanciest in my eyes.)
This fancy!
LOL! Shinobi42, QC was my exact thought!
I think I too have a “difficult to categorize facial hair creation.”
I have to say I’m a little dissapointed. I just discovered this blog last week and was looking forward to reading some thought-provoking posts.
Lemurs are cool too I guess -_-;;
Good lord, it’s like a creature from the Underdark has grown upon his face. This is how Mindflayers start, people.
Hey, lee, now would be a great time to catch up on the archives, then. There’s almost three years of posts in there!
Fluffcation?
http://www.epicute.com.
You’re welcome.
There’s almost three years of posts in there!
GODDAMIT GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME SOME TEXT
Also, did we somehow fail to mention the avahi cleesi?
@SM
I had a feeling the fluffcation would pose a major threat to my productivity at work. The Mustache website has officially sealed the deal there :-D
Tara, I’m pretty sure I lost weeks of my life when I first discovered it.
Harriet Jacobs, I think the one hitch is that while the prosimians haven’t gone the way of the apes and developed huge huge brains, they’re still adapted to their particular ecological niches. (I guess unless they have had their niches eradicated by the March of Progress ™, in which case, not.)
Anyhow…
So when one is engaged in psuedopotto martini drinking, one is not un-advanced, per se. One is simply doing all these things in a manner and in an environment to which one is perfectly functionally evolved to do, only it looks anachronistic to everyone else.
One could, for example, answer one’s telephone (the kind with a curly cord that plugs into a wall) with one’s pseudopotto martini in hand. There are so many things that are perfectly adapted to the times that look outdated, if you ask me. Agitating for full enfranchisement, for example, and typing in complete sentences (even while texting). All can be done while pseudopotto drinking a martini and sporting a voluptuous mustachio.
(I also love your blog)
@Laura M: I saw bushbabies in a noctural animals exhibit once; they jumped like little kangaroos, which I didn’t expect. They were weirdly cute, buggy eyes and all. I’m envious that you got to live with a couple of them.
Oh, see, I think a Pseudopotto martini would be a gin martini with vermouth and grapefruit juice and a twist of orange peel. None of this hempseed-cereal-in-my-drink stuff.
Madame Berthe’s Mouse Lemur sounds like a 19th-century hygiene product.
Madame Berthe’s Mouse Lemur should always be taken with Brain Salt.
(Before I begin: this recipe is illegal in the US and many other jurisdictions. I would never suggest that someone break a law, ever. Ever. Consider this a mixology thought experiment. Also, I am but a wee commenter, and a n00b at that. My opinions and recipes are mine, not the site’s. KH, SM, and/or FJ: moderate at will. Sorry if this is inappropriate.)
THC is alcohol-soluble, so infusing high-proof vodka with low-grade marijuana is a hypothetical possibility. Choose a vodka you know to be relatively smooth and flavorless (I like Gomi–tastes much more expensive than it is). The infusion takes about 4 or 5 days, so plan ahead! You’ll know you’re done when the booze is a deep elven green color.
Pour your vodka through a mesh screen to filter the particulate matter. Re-bottle the liquid. Even if you usually store your vodka in the freezer, infused vodka freezes at higher temps, so fridge it (or liquor cabinet; nothing wrong with vodka at room temp, though this imaginary drink could hypothetically only be improved by being colder).
For your Pseudopotti Martini, mix a shot of infused vodka with vermouth to taste. Shake/stir as you prefer over ice, then strain out the ice and serve up in a glass. For added collegiate authenticity, drink out of a Mason jar. Garnish with two olives arranged to look like the beady eyes of the False Potto. (It’s “pseudo” because it’s not a “real” martini, being based on a flavored vodka and all.)
Warning: this will (hypothetically) taste nasty. AND it will mess you up but good, hoss. I would advise an imaginary person trying this recipe to drink just one. You may not notice anything different for up to an hour, but man will you be glad you didn’t down three of them.
I hope that this is not totally against all blog etiquette but Miss Prism has a poem about a potto, a real one, not a pseudo one, and if you google “Nocturnal House Triolet” it is right there on her blog, the poem that is, not the potto, I hope you don’t mind Miss Prism?
I love MissPrism. Like, a lot.
Fnord Prefect, if stores can still sell “water pipes” for “tobacco purposes only” then I think your disclaimer is probably sufficient.
Garnish with two olives arranged to look like the beady eyes of the False Potto.
Hee!
All martinis not made with a combination of either gin or vodka with vermouth are pseudo. Putting a fruity drink into a martini glass does not a martini make. There is no such thing as a chocolate martini, dammit. (end purist rant)
Anyway. A pseudopotto martini would be made with a good vodka, a splash of good old martini and rossi vermouth, oregano-laced tomato juice, a squeeze of lemon, and black olives on a stick. Rim the glass with a mixture of sea salt and coarsely ground black pepper. Garnish with basil leaves.
Pseudopotto Martini would traditionally be made from the urine of a confused yet still largely sane gardener from rural southern europe. Ideally, it would be served with a spit-soaked olive, although probably not so much nowadays, as that would be considered a little bad form in some circles. Not mine obviously.
Failing that, havent got a clue.
Also, an addition to your friends of the lemur list:
Mr Come-Lowzely’s Maiden Aunt in Breeches Lemur
Orifice Crummock Von-Stoutly’s Spotted Ham-tailed Lemur.
These I’ve made up, but I wore serious clothes and a spectacles to do it.
Please insert the word “swizzle” before the word “stick” there and put a little furry wine glass charm on the stem of the glass too. thanks.
Good heavens, I meant to say “spectacles to do it”, not “a spectacles to do it”. What must you think of me?
Sloe gin, dry vermouth and some orange peel.
Although thinking about this now has me craving sloe gin. Sadly, my sloe hunting expedition was fruitless (ha ha), and I am sloe gin-less.
Cheers, thanks, fillyjonk. Rereading my post, I realize I should specify that infusion wants to take place at room temperature.
Also, that poem of Miss Prism’s is Nash-worthy.
Also, add me to the list of Harriet Jacobs fans.
That is all.
Oh dear, I left out a comma. I was hoping that Miss Prism wouldn’t mind my post! It came out sounding like I hoped that other people don’t mind Miss Prism.
What must you think of me?
We think you’re a spectacle!
Also, your new lemur names are currently my gchat status.
Shapely Prose-simians
As another purist, I agree with buttercup, with this caveat: a ‘martini’ made with vodka rather than gin, is a gibson, which is also traditionally served with pickled pearl onions rather than olives.
And now I’m going to go get pseudopotto on lime syrup in tonic water. Pity I don’t have a nice little paper umbrella for it.
Mr Come-Lowzely’s Maiden Aunt in Breeches Lemur
Orifice Crummock Von-Stoutly’s Spotted Ham-tailed Lemur.
These I’ve made up, but I wore serious clothes and a spectacles to do it.
*cheers*
Cheers back to you …I raise a glass of sweet sherry to thee and thine, and nibble a sweetmeat in your honour.
Eucritta, you’re a purist after my own heart and absolutely correct. I favor the “dirty martini” variety myself, with a splash of olive juice innit. And preferably, bombay sapphire gin.
I am a rebel! I like to put the word “gate” at the end of every scandal! And I like to add a “-tini” to any drink in a martini glass!
That being said, I’m no mixologist, so I’ll just say I think a Pseudopotto Martini must look brown and sludgy and taste like a sweet, fluffy dream. Can someone make this happen?
Y’all, now I really want a drink. Too bad I’m at my campus office… *looks around furtively*
Wait, the rest of you are still sober? Oops.
A Pseudopotto martini sounds like something that would be sipped merrily in Sam Peckinpah’s “Salad Days”.
Holy cute picture, Batman!
(from the White House flickr feed)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/whitehouse/4032627583/in/photostream/
I can’t get the “in breeches” and “spotted ham-tailed” out of my head. What does a ham-tail look like, one wonders? Will there be a presentation at the Royal Zoological Society (lemur subdivision) meetings this year, I wonder? And will the presenter’s mustache be fancy?
For Sarah B:
Layered in a martini glass in the following order:
Bottom layer – my hubby’s chocolate liqueur, chilled (or any chocolate liqueur)
Middle layer – heavy cream
Swirl these two together and top with Bailey’s
It ain’t no martini, so it’s definitely pseudo and if’n I drinks two, I’ll definitely be potto! (Actually blotto, but it’ll make perfect sense after two of ‘em.)
Twincats – Thanks!That sounds awesome! I might actually have to make a run to the liquor store…
I shall call it…Lemurtini (Lemartini?) for short!
I would just like to state that I am VERY PLEASED with this thread.
“And will the presenter’s mustache be fancy?”
Gadzooks! Of Course! And the smoking jacket he will wear will shine forth like the scarlet of the devil himself, and his Fez shall be doffed for only the finest and most ample of ladyfolk.
I really need more time off.
I should perhaps add that I forgot to include my own personal favourite lemurs, which although rare exist still.
They are:
The Buttermere Crummock of Longshanks-Tipped Lemur
The Lesser Bosomed Firthlick of Shore-Cocked Lemur
and of course ,
The Tartcudgel Housemaid with Fecked-Knee Lemur
The last one is not a Lemur in the strictest sense as I’m sure the more eagle-eyed will spot, but still worth including if we are going to be correct about this.
Nanny says bed-time now.
This idea amuses me greatly. On a certain progressive blog I sometimes frequent, which features Haloscan almost-real-time comments, we will often post recipes in the midst of the chats to drive particularly loathsome trolls away.
Well, since ‘Pseudo’ is in the name, it’s definitely not a martini, but comprised of multiple, very strong parts, like a maritni, eh?
Kahlua, Bailey’s Irish Cream, Chocolate Sauce, Whipped Cream, and a swizzle stick made of Dark- and white-chocolate.
It’s got the colors of a lemur, but probably doesn’t taste like one xD
“It’s got the colors of a lemur, but probably doesn’t taste like one xD”
Which raises the question: what does a lemur taste like?
“I say, old chap, but have you ever stopped to wonder if there may be microscopic living creatures that transmit illness from one body to the next? Pick your monocle up, fellow, you and I know it’s humors what cause the polio, and a good dose of laudunum the cure!”
Please, someone tell me I am not the only one around here who heard that in Hugh Laurie’s Bertie Wooster voice.
Whoa!
http://cuteoverload.com/2009/10/28/tbbbbppppft/
Mere coincidence? I think not!
What does a ham-tail look like, one wonders?
Like this:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1022/1434869181_08caa3f4a4.jpg?v=0
I should think that the psuedopotto martini would be some horrible non-alcoholic version, possibly containing some other substance that disturbs motor-control so you stagger about as if drunk but are not. Ah, no. Excuse me, that is the psuedoblotto martini.
Paintmonkey: somehow I mistook smoking jacket for a jacket which is smoking. Duh.
I personally like flying lemurs. ‘Cause they’re not actually lemurs and the don’t, you know, fly. Gotta love that.
I think a psuedopotto martini must have curry in it somewhere. Ew!
Please, someone tell me I am not the only one around here who heard that in Hugh Laurie’s Bertie Wooster voice.
You’re not the only one. Guilty as charged. ;)
I am coming late to this entry, but I hope it’s not too late for me to observe that the perfect name for a Grewcock’s Sportive Lemur is “Spiro Agnew.”
(If you rearrange the letters, it totally spells “grow a penis.”)
Y’all are so funny. I’ve been giggling so hard I’ve scared the cat.
Pseudopotto martini sounds icky to me. Probably because my brain is making say “pseudopod.” And that’s downright prokaryotic.
Oops. I tried to change my name and be funny, and got my ass stuck in moderation. Hi, I’m a dumbass who doesn’t think things through.
Hey, let’s stop at 69 comments.
Oh shizz.
Do you know what you all need right now? A picture of a baby potto. http://www.zooborns.com/zooborns/2008/12/what-the-oh-its-a-baby-potto-1.html
I would think a pseudopotto martini would contain no alcohol whatsoever.
You know, in case one ever wants to pretend to be tipsy–or, in the vernacular, “pseudopotted.”
Reminds me of the traditional “Horse’s Ass,” which is gingerale with a cherry. It’s named after anyone who would actually go to a bar to order one . . .
I rescued you, emmy! Sorry for the delay.
I clicked on Earwig’s link to the baby potto and ended up at the bearcat. I particularly love the second picture, with the freaked-out woman who is the spit of my friend’s mother:
http://www.zooborns.typepad.com/zooborns/bearcat/
Ha, like Emmy, I am now stuck in moderation…
Can I tempt anyone to more of the baby Tasmanian Devils?
http://www.zooborns.com/zooborns/2009/10/tasmanian-devils-at-the-taronga-zoo.html
SM, my hero!
I’ve just noticed how the main Bush baby in the illustration appears to be shaking his fist in tight lipped rage at all our jolly jokes and piss-takes. The one in the background is clearly saying “Oh Hell, when he gets like this, there’s no going home. It’s like that day trip we had that was completely ruined by someone saying we looked like walking Fruitbats.”
The pseudopotto martini is for those who like to do a lot of eavesdropping at parties and want to remember what they heard.
I think you have to have two.
First you have your glass of vodka with ice, with citrus garnish.
Then you have your glass of water with ice, with the same citrus garnish.
That way, even if you’re still sober, people whom you want to assume you’re drunk will do so, because they’ll assume the second glass is also vodka. So you’re not really potto, you’re pseudopotto.
(P.S. I like this picture better. Did anyone else think the lemurs in the other picture put one in mind of the hyenas from the Lion King? No? Just me then? Okay.)
Further fluffification. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bcV-TL9mho
Any MSTies out there who remember Joey the Lemur? I’ve been thinking of him ever since the latest round of fluff started.
You may not notice anything different for up to an hour, but man will you be glad you didn’t down three of them.
Having downed a sex-on-the-beach-and-indeterminate-drug-cocktail in Phnom Pehn, because I’d had half a pizza with the same weird gritty brown stuff on it and it hadn’t done anything after 20 minutes, MAN I WISH I’D KNOWN THAT.
I lost a day. On the plus side, when anyone around me is watching the news and it talks about someone taking “a cocktail of drug and alcohol”, and people are like “Lololol, where can I get one of those?” I’m like “PHNOM PEHN. BUT DON’T!” And their expression makes it all worthwhile.
Don’t take unknown drugs in Cambodia, y’all.
This thread is great. I am incoherent. Mmm fluff.
I see your prosimians, and raise you a ferret in a guitar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_q5J9Fwz58
Ferret in a guitar is nice, WindSparrow, but I still love Hamster on a Piano.
http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/1/Hamster-On-A-Piano-642314.html
Well played, emmy, well played.
Best random lemur fact ever: the name of the Indri (Indri indri) or babacoote (Babakoto in Malagasy) was given because the European “discoverer”, having it pointed out to him by a local guide, assumed that “Indri” was the local name for the animal. In fact it is a corruption of “indri”, which means sort of ["there!"/"Look!"]. Which is of course what you shout when pointing out a small furry animal moving rapidly through the trees.
What, nobody’s yet brought up pottoes in connection with the Aubrey-Maturin novels?
Any MSTies out there who remember Joey the Lemur? I’ve been thinking of him ever since the latest round of fluff started.
Cool! I’d misremembered him as “Larry the Lemur”, so this helps.