Costumes are always a frustrating choke point for my enjoyment of dance (huzzah for American Tribal Bellydance). Choreographers/show directors often treat fat dancers like people who ‘ruined’ the clean lines of the show. Rather than adapt the costumes to the body (which, after all, is the *whole point* of a dance costume, to highlight and flatter the body) they insist on pouring bodies into costumes and then bemoan the results.

When I got my piece to choreograph, it was a little more difficult but by no means impossible to find beautiful costumes that could be worn by tall/short, skinny/inbetween/fat, people who like to bare the belly and people who do not. You just have to put forth a little effort!

On top of that, there are the strange pressures in bellydance costuming to sexualize, make exotic, and appropriate in disrespectul ways.

The technology, it is too much!

Since you asked, sure!

Thanks for asking! The trip was good. I had the apt. with the specialist. He’s pretty convinced it’s a cyst at most but scheduled a sonogram to be sure. (He said that because I’m only 34 a mammo is likely to be unhelpful.)

I don’t know if I mentioned this before but apparently I have fibrocystic breasts, which means the texture is uneven all over, so it can be hard to examine. I feel like he was a little dismissive – he was sort of saying, well you have this, that’s why you think you found something. I said I know I have this, but how then should I deal with self-exams? I don’t think I got a good answer.

Anyone have experience with this? I have something of a rack of doom, which also seems to contribute to this difficulty.

That’s good! You see I don’t know enough about butterfly to come up with something like that. I do want to leave space for people to acknowledge their fears — getting into a swimsuit and taking classes with a group can be intimidating when we’re bigger. Some people will think negative things. But they are idiots!

In any case, that’s another great redirect: “that means you’re doing it right!” I like to save these, they come in very handy, thank you :)

As for your friend fighting her natural body type — that’s tough. One way to help people eat is to bring up the dreaded “starvation mode” — “If you don’t eat enough, your metabolism shuts down and needs less food,” or “If you don’t eat enough, you’ll lose muscle and your metabolism will go down.” Those aren’t full out acceptance, but a good stepping stone for dieters. Other than that I just try to create a positive environment for self/fat acceptance, making comments such as “food doesn’t have a moral value,” or “what’s wrong with being fat?” I tend to keep it all very casual so they don’t feel cornered or defensive, but might think about it later on.

As for the “you’ve lost weight” comment, my stock response is a puzzled look and a “Hm, nah, I don’t think so.” Or if it’s true, “yes, perhaps a little.” I treat it as a completly unloaded question, like “was it cold last night when you left?” Best response I got to this was an awkward pause, followed by “You look good!” To which I smiled and said thank you.

One feisty answer I’ve never tried is: “Oh dear, I hope not!” The reaction to that one would probably be quite funny!

I think I love everyone.