Friday Fluff: No Sex, Please, We’re Amoeboid Zingat-Ularians

If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about Shapely Prose readers, it’s that they really love horrible creatures. But if there’s two things I’ve noticed, it’s that they like bonding over obscure and nerdy books, movies, and TV. I don’t think I’ve ever had a Mr. Show or Red Dwarf reference go unnoticed, and I’ve seen other inside jokes zinging around the comments that I don’t even get.

Your Friday Fluff challenge: Stump the Shapelings! Post the most arcane quotes you can think of and see if you can find your media soulmate.

621 thoughts on “Friday Fluff: No Sex, Please, We’re Amoeboid Zingat-Ularians

  1. Man, they never shoulda cancelled that show, but if they hadn’t, I probably never would have watched it.

    I will be totally floored if anyone can place this one:

    “When they get old, they get big. When they get big, they get feet. And when they get feet… they get dangerous.”

  2. This post is categorically unfair to me, since I’ve known FJ since I was 14 and have told her everything I thought funny ever. So instead I challenge all other Shapelings with the phrase FJ and I use to let each other know if, say, our planes have landed safely: “I’m in your house, covered in lotion, reading your ledger.”

  3. Oh, man, this is where the really hating TV thing I do bites down, as I already have negative points. :)

    I toss out my favorite marriage acceptance line ever from a book, in the hopes that my fellow Shapelings also read and loved it: “Placetne.”

  4. Celeloriel: That wouldn’t be Gaudy Night, would it? But Placetne was the proposal, “Placet” was the acceptance, wasn’t it? Unless you’re referring to something else entirely which just happens to have a very similar line….

    (Going off to re-read Busman’s Honeymoon now, since Lord Peter and Harriet play this very game with the head policeman on the case in that book….)

  5. Believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding against the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid… and I went ahead anyway.

    :)

  6. Celeloriel: That would be Gaudy Night by Dorothy Sayers, spoken by Harriet Vane to Lord Peter Wimsey. (I believe “Placetne” is what HE says, and she just says “Placet”, because of, you know, Latin.)

  7. TBS/Kate S., I humbly sit corrected (that’s what I get from posting for work). :)

    And TBS, THAT IS EXACTLY what made me think of Lord Peter in the first place.

    Omg, SM, you haven’t read Busman’s Honeymoon?! Let me know when you finish, because that’s one of my favorites.

  8. I won’t spoil the plot, don’t worry.

    (for the record, I never appreciated Busman’s Honeymoon until I re-read it post-getting-married.)

    How about “Suck an elf!” ? (that one should be easier, if only from being more than a hundred years more recent!)

  9. “Child of a generous race” makes me think of Psmith. If it’s not him somebody take this as a chance to insert your favourite Psmith quote instead.

    And I love the Wimsey/Vane proposal scene.

    I’ll give a bunch because they’re all from the same radio series that my family has adopted as part of our vocabulary and nobody else has ever heard.
    But he might go physically mental!
    (explaining evolution) Man after he was a Lemur.
    So where’s Catahuyuk then? Somewhere between Turkey and…Sweden.
    Oh help, help, it’s the fall of Troy!

  10. TBS, that one is WAY too easy. ;-)

    I’m so bad at remembering obscure quotes that I can’t think of anything to say here, but I’m sure I know some nerdy, obscure things!

  11. “He’s no fun, he fell right over” — OMG, is that Firesign Theater? I haven’t listened to nearly enough of their stuff, and I can’t for the life of me remember the context on that one, but I can hear the inflections on it clear as a bell in my head.

  12. Well, the story “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” is Philip K. Dick, of course, but I don’t know if this quote comes directly from there… that would be too easy, no?

  13. Oh! “The smell of battery acid makes me thirsty!”

    (I’m a little embarrassed to know that one – and lots of others from the same thing – but hey, I was a kid.)

  14. Okay, I’ve got two (from different things):

    1. “When will then be now?”

    2. “I’m a lifetime in my own legend.”

  15. @Miss Conduct – Homicide: Life on the Streets! I believe the scene takes place in a hospital

    Placetne – isn’t that the 2nd or 3rd proposal, and grammatically means he is anticipating a negative answer?

    I have an easy one: “I mock you with my monkey pants!”

  16. FJ, my sisters and I were going to make a documentary about middle school called “When will then be now?” but we never got around to it.

  17. fillyjonk: DINGDINGDING, we have a winner!
    the context:
    “The sun is going down!”
    “No, no, you are confused: the horizon is moving up”
    “I know, let’s stand him on his head!”
    “whoa whoa WHOA!” {sounds of falling over}
    “Awww, he’s no fun, he fell right over!”

  18. “Did you ever imagine it would end like this?”

    “The horse is a surprise.”

    AND ANOTHER.

    “We only had one finalist for the Marie Curie lookalike contest, and he was disqualified. Why do I bother?!”

  19. Yeah, I guess context doesn’t always help much with Firesign. :)

    Here’s one: “If you were me, you’d be good-lookin’.”

  20. Are we sticking to TV shows/movies/books, or…?

    Cause if not: “The people in the cheap seats, clap your hands, and everyone else, if you could rattle your jewelry…”

    And:

    “What have you been reading, The Gospel According to Saint Bastard?”

  21. TBS: Yup. Not an obscure movie, obviously, but one of its more quietly amazing moments (as opposed to, say, “I see your schwartz is as big as mine.”)

  22. This is probably too easy and not smart enough, but I use it every time I get a chance:

    “Boy do I hate being right all the time.”

  23. Okay, got one. “If our mutual friend here invites you for a stroll along the banks of the River Cam, DON’T GO.”

  24. This isn’t too obscure but how about “I’ve given up kittens. Cholesterol . . . I mean, morals.”

  25. “I’m being nibbled to death by cats!”

    “Don’t you have an elsewhere to be?”

    “The offices were very clean, and the clients were only raping the land, and then, of course, there was the money. El Greedo strikes again.”

    “What, nobody thinks they’re a bad person. I’m not even claiming that people always think they’re doing the right thing. They may know that they’re doing something dishonest or insensitive or manipulative but they almost always think there’s a good reason for doing it. They almost always think that it will turn out for the best in the end. And even if it just it turns out best for them, cause by definition what’s best for them is what’s best.”

    “You guys may have subconsciouses but there’s nothing going on inside MY head.”

    “I’m not going to start watching what I think or what I feel! I’m Italian! ”

    “Why does everyone think I’m paranoid? You’ve discussed this behind my back, right?”

    And, a total gimme: “many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.”

  26. I know the rattle jewellery one was Beatles, I think it’s Lennon at a Royal Variety show but stand ready to be corrected.

    (Chanted in a thick singsong accent)
    We are the Romans. We hate the Christians…

  27. BaldSoprano: Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchet.

    Lilah: Spike from BtVS

    My own…not super-obscure necessarily, but favorites:

    “You know that sex we were going to have….ever again?”

    “According to Genesis, it took as few as four people to make the planet too crowded to stand, and the first murder was a fratricide. Genesis says that in a fit of jealous rage, the very first child born to mortal parents, Cain, snapped and popped the first metaphorical cap in another human being. The attack was a bloody, brutal, violent, reprehensible killing. Cain’s brother Abel probably never saw it coming.

    As I opened the door to my apartment, I was filled with a sense of empathic sympathy and intuitive understanding.

    For freaking Cain.”

    “SMITE! SMITE! SMITE! SMITE! SMITE! SMITE”

    “Let’s be about it.” (Might be vague enough to have several “right” answers, but there’s a character who says this on a regular basis.)

    And, a classic bit of geekiness: “I cast magic missile at the darkness!” (I don’t think I’ve ever seen a character *cast* magic missile without the comment being made at least once, so it may be the very opposite of obscure.)

  28. A sketch comedy smorgasbord:

    “Is there poison in it?” “Some!”

    “When you daydream, you always see that tiny little oom-pah band.”

    “They gave me some beer and some frozen peas.”

    “Poor Flopsy’s dead, and never called me mother.”

    “I’m an English teacher, not a homosexual.”

  29. “The Gospel According to St. Bastard.” Of course that’s Eddie Izzard, referring to Henry VIII starting his own religion.

    An easy one: “I used to do a lot of drugs. I still do, but I used to also.”

  30. LilahMorgan, I gather that’s Clem from Buffy?

    It is, indeed. I think he was my favorite thing about season 7.

  31. Aaaah, good one, SM! I will not guess it because I said I wouldn’t, but if nobody gets it soon I am going to have to post more lines from that same thing.

  32. emmy! I think Mitch Hedberg is partly responsible for bringing me and my husband together. “Ducks eat free at Subway.”

  33. “Suck an elf” is from The 10th Kingdom.
    in order of increasing difficulty:
    1. “My spoon is too big!”
    2.” I’m all dressed up and ready to fall in love!”
    3. “You have the right to have a lawyer and the right to remain silent. And I can’t remember the rest, fuck. “

  34. liberalandproud: History of the World, Part I!

    “Pitch-fork, sweetheart. But you may take it from me, as one who knows, that agriculture isn’t the only thing it is used in pursuit of.”

  35. the “Lemming of the BDA” sketch.

    And now I have the jingle in my head.

    I will not guess it because I said I wouldn’t, but if nobody gets it soon I am going to have to post more lines from that same thing.

    I know! It was all I could do to not just transcribe the whole sketch and ruin the game.

  36. Johnny B., right you are! My friend Joanna and I sing the “Lemming of the BDA” song all the time. Also the “if I were not in the CID, something else I’d like to be” song. We’re cool.

  37. @Johnny B. Average – yep, BTVS. Oz says it to Willow while sharing animal crackers. And your 1st quote is the Beatles (well, Lennon as someone said upstream).

    @fillyjonk – Six String Samurai! I love that soundtrack, play it often, but somehow haven’t gotten around to seeing the movie yet.

  38. Kate S.:: Yep!

    Kate J.: Thank you so much for getting that one, it was*RIGHT THERE* on the edge of my brain and was going to drive me nuts.

  39. Oh man, I should have put “no more butter and scones for me, mater, I’m off to play the grand piano.”

  40. Omigod, someone knows the lemming of the BDA chant!!! I was actually thinking of that, but even my own family, complete Monty Python nuts, don’t know it, so I thought it was hopeless. I also have a stuffed rabbit whose middle name is Flopsy.

    And well, this is getting obvious, but “bicycle repair man!”

  41. TBS, Phantom Tollbooth! The movie — can’t remember if it was also in the book, which kinda sucks since I just reread it maybe six months ago.

  42. Here’s a really obscure one: “I know we say, oh, THEATER people, but I don’t see how you can pick this kind of thing up in the theater.”

  43. Bald Soprano, is that from The Phantom Tolbooth? I don’t remember the rhyme in the book, but it had a talking dodecahedron. I LOVED that book. Especially the half-bakery where half-baked ideas come from.

  44. “But he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared.”
    “Well that was his job. He was an illusionist.”
    “He never reappeared.”
    “He wasn’t a very good illusionist.”
    :)

  45. Kate J.- “My spoooooooooon is too Biig!!” What was that called? Rejected Cartoons? Man I loved that whole site.

    Moar: “Because no cat, nowhere, never gave a straight answer, arr.”

  46. On Wimsey:

    Placetne – isn’t that the 2nd or 3rd proposal, and grammatically means he is anticipating a negative answer?

    It’s like the 9th or 10th proposal–he proposes to her constantly in Have His Carcase.

    And, yes, “Placetne” means “It wouldn’t please you, I suppose?”

    Nobody is going to get this one, sadly, but it is a favorite in my family:

    “It is good? There are no corpse?”

  47. Aw, Faith, you’re making me reveal my own geekitude! That would be Star Trek, “Spock’s Brain.”

    *ahem*

    It’s a round, round world,
    It’s a round, round world,
    I’m convinced it’s round, and it’s gonna be found, when all the results are in
    It’s a round world now, and it’s always been!

  48. cereselle: well, I don’t know what that is, but now I’ve got

    “It’s a great big world
    And we’re all really puny
    Just tiny little specks
    About the size of Mickey Rooney”

    stuck in my head!

  49. Here are a few I’d like to add to the mix:

    “No more rhymes now – I mean it ! Anybody want a peanut?”

    “I hate broccoli, and yet, in a certain sense, I am broccoli.”

    “My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening thru a cosmic vapor of invention.”

  50. Tilleul: Yep. :)

    Sweet Machine beat me on the Kaylee quote.

    Here’s a few more:

    “He called me ‘Little One.'”

    “Meg has it tough. She’s not one thing or another.”

  51. emilymorgan: Now the pellet with the poison’s in the flagon with the dragon!

    KellyK: A Wrinkle in Time. (For the record, I loved those books but I always wanted to kick Charles Wallace.

    …what?)

  52. I don’t know where the “too gay to function” quote is from but it made me LOL.

    “You can’t not be on a boat.” “I’ve frequently not been on boats.” “No, what you’ve been is not on boats.”

  53. FJ, I haven’t read the comments but in reply to “When they get old, they get big. When they get big, they get feet. And when they get feet… they get dangerous.” all I can say is “Let’s sing it in F for he sees me.”

  54. EEEE, FJ!

    “I shall jump overboard. That’ll put a spoke in their wheel.”

    “Unless that’s their plan.”

    “I shall stay on board. That’ll put a spoke in their wheel.”

  55. Kelly: Firefly.

    My offerings:
    “I want my two dollars!”

    “A handful of people on a leaky boat are going to save the world?”

    “Understanding is a three-edged sword.”

    “An inch. It’s small and it’s fragile and it’s the only thing in the world worth having.”

    “Mortal flesh and mortal doom be one, and mortal will shall rule them.”

  56. I will not guess it because I said I wouldn’t, but if nobody gets it soon I am going to have to post more lines from that same thing.

    Okay, I said I was gonna do it, you sparkling, salty, olive-complected, full head of hair man!

    “It’s like getting a scalp massage from Lucifer.”

    “Fetch Daddy’s blue fright wig, I want to be handsome when I unleash my rage.”

    “Bob, everyone knows Green Bay is not in December.”

    And of course: “If you had a neck and I had hands, I would squeeze your brain which is your body right out the top of your head which does not exist.”

    Anyone?

  57. Twistie, nope, don’t think so, try again.. though frankly I do not expect ANYONE to have seen this movie.

  58. @ Angie – “No more rhymes now – I mean it ! Anybody want a peanut?” is from the The Princess Bride
    @ KellyK – ‘Meg has it tough. She’s not one thing or another” is from A Wrinkle In Time.

  59. @emmy: yup! Bitter Film’s “Rejected” short.

    AHHHHH that’s why it was familiar! Mr Machine and I adopted another phrase from that one — “It’s like… I… can TOUCH you!” (on being 3-D). We also yell “ROBOTS!” a lot.

  60. “And God said, ‘Where the Hell is Tim?” And there the Hell was Tim. And God said, ‘Let there be doors that open when they open, and close when they close.'”

  61. “She went away, sped on her way by a blushing Amazon, and Grant did not remember anything about woolly lambs until the woolly lamb actually turned up in his room next evening.”

  62. Think waaaay back folks.

    “AND when Beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles, and the bottle’s on a Poodle and the Poodle’s eating noodles, they call this a muddle puddle Tweedle Poodle Beetle noodle bottle paddle battle.”

  63. JR: Muppet Movie

    emmy: that’s Dr. Seuss!

    Kate S: yes, you’re right! And I have a first edition hardcover that I bought used with a bunch of articles and thigns from the Richard III Society of Canada in it!

  64. emmy, it’s one of Dr. Seuss’s, but I don’t know which one.

    Johnny, that song is a must for any road trip I take.

  65. I can’t get anyone else’s except the Brit comedy, and I feel like I’m cheating at that because of course it was totally mainstream here. But here’s clues to mine!

    De Selby’s theories are from a book which also features an army of one legged men.

    “**** *** ** *** ******” is from a book that with an entirely blank page in the middle, so the reader could imagine something the author didn’t want to describe.

  66. Sidian, “I want my two dollars” is probably the best catchphrase to come out of the 80s, and is of course from Better Off Dead.

    Along those lines: “Don’t you know eating that stuff can give you enormous breasts? Oh my god, I’m too late!”

  67. Have to leave the name out or you’ll get it:

    “You have to understand my position. I’m a coward, and _____ scares me.”

    “Well, what kind of position is that?”

    “No position.”

  68. MissPrism, oh, then it must be Tristram Shandy. In Morse it says HSIS5, but not so shockingly that wasn’t helping much.

  69. Miss Prism: I have read this book, but I cannot remember it!

    (I’ve been quoting some classic british literature that no-one gets, btw)

    “Oom kroop der poop
    Zoom kroon der soup
    Soon droon der oopersnoop”

  70. I must admit I don’t recognize it, but there’s a guy in a gaming forum who uses it.

    On the other hand, I’ve listened to Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, audio only, and we often yell “I’m not animated to explode” at one another.

  71. emmy, no, but it sounded like a Speed Racer VO.

    Since MissPrism was so nice as to give a clue, I’ll give one to my most obscure one (“when they get old, they get big”): it’s also Arlo Guthrie, but definitely not “Alice’s Restaurant.”

  72. “I read the prescription. It ran:

    1 lb beefsteak, with
    1 pt bitter beer
    every 6 hours
    1 ten-mile walk every morning
    1 bed at 11 sharp every night
    And don’t stuff up your head with things you don’t understand.”

  73. This is fun.

    “Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in hell’s half acre. Baked by Beelzebub. Slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chicken force-fed to dogs by the hands of a one eyed mad man. Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of fanged cow. Layered with 666 separate meats from an animal which has maggots for blood.”

  74. Oh, and another quote from the same thing I mentioned a little while ago-
    “No I ‘aven’t; I ‘aven’t forgotten the sardines. I remembered the sardines. Well, what a surprise; I guess I’ll just go into the kitchen and fix some more sardines to celebrate! “

  75. My parents used to make me listen to FIresign theater when I was a kid…after they expressed glee to find it had finally been re-released on CD, of course. So I’m a little sad I came late to the “he;s no fun he fell right over” party. ;)

    So I have a few, unrelated ones. Let’s just say they are from sources that, if so inclined, I could probably type out in their entirety from memory (but I won’t).

    -“Eggs and grits. I like grits, too. How do you cook your grits? Do you like them regular, creamy or al dente?”

    -“Thank you for pressing the self destruct button.”
    -“My brains are going into my feet!”
    -“We’re not just doing this for money… We’re doing it for a SHIT LOAD of money!”

    -“Tell everyone that when the day is out we shall have a wedding. Or a hanging. Either way, we’re gonna have a lot of fun, huh?”
    -“You lost your arms in battle! But you grew some nice boobs.”
    -“Pissed off? If I was that close to a horse’s wiener I’d be worrying about being pissed on!”

    -“Richie loved to use 22s because the bullets are small and they don’t come out the other end like a 45, see, a 45 will blow a barn door out the back of your head and there’s a lot of dry cleaning involved, but a 22 will just rattle around like Pac-Man until you die.”
    -“you folks would probably be Yankees fans. It’s been my experience that most organized crime people are.”
    -“What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew a lightbulb.”

    I’ll stop.

  76. Oh man, here’s one: “Don’t give me any of that intelligent life crap, just find me something I can blow up!”

    TBS, criminey, I literally JUST READ THAT, what was it??

  77. -”Eggs and grits. I like grits, too. How do you cook your grits? Do you like them regular, creamy or al dente?”

    This must be My Cousin Vinny, right? Before he starts asking him if he has magical grits that cook in five minutes?

  78. Johnny B. Average: “wrong week to quit smoking” was from Flying High, the Lloyd Bridges character.

    ~~~ two:

    “I am way over my daily recommended allowance for corporate booty kissing. If they want me now, they’re shopping at the “as is” department.”

    Sheriff Cobb: That was Ned Carver. He claims aliens have abducted some of his cattle again.
    Jo: Tell him to call me when they move on to anal probes. Wait, um, that didn’t come out right.

  79. -”Eggs and grits. I like grits, too. How do you cook your grits? Do you like them regular, creamy or al dente?”

    My Cousin Vinny, used in law schools everywhere to teach civil procedure. :)

  80. Holy cow, I could recite that one in my sleep. I can’t believe I know ANY of these, I’m pop-culture CLUELESS.

    Kate S, Labyrinth Labyrinth LABYRINTH! Starring David Bowie’s package, and to a lesser extent his wig, and a bunch of amazing muppets designed by BRIAN FROUD OMG!!!

    And the name is, of course, Jareth. “Nothing? Nothing, tra la la?!”

  81. “Starring David Bowie’s package, and to a lesser extent his wig,”

    Oh, so you noticed. What was up with those pants, anyway? Not that I’m complaining. He is pretty much teh hotness.

  82. -”Eggs and grits. I like grits, too. How do you cook your grits? Do you like them regular, creamy or al dente?”

    That must be My Cousin Vinny, right? Right before he starts questionning the witness about the cooking time and whether he has magical, fast-cooking grits?

  83. New one:

    “They’re filled with wholesome goodness and grean peaness. Oh, that’s terrible. Who wrote that? I’m leaving, but I’ll take some of these peas for the road. Yes!”

  84. SugarLeigh, you got it. That movie gave me … um … shall we say an inflated standard for endowment during my preteen and early teen years.

    TBS, I don’t know. I expected better from you. (Kidding.)

  85. TBS, I went ahead and googled it. :) And I hadn’t just read it, per se; it had just been quoted on a blog.

  86. Weird, my comment looked like it didn’t post so I re-did it and then it. Sorry about the double, and I’ll offer up another quote in compensation:

    “Searching for a boy in high school is like searching for meaning in a Paulie Shore movie.”

  87. Okay, another since everyone guessed my first three. My firend and I use these all of the time.

    “Good day, sir! I said, GOOD DAY!”

    “The ratio of people to cake is too big.”

  88. Hhmmmmz, I better post one. Lessee, what do I dig that is kind of obscure, but not so obscure that I’m the only monkey who has ever seen or read or heard of it? No Terhune quotes, I guess. He’s got a couple back in print now but that’s still mostly not fair.

    Okay, here’s one, hope it hasn’t already been done:

    “And be weary of wrousing a wrizard’s wrath! Rousing a riz, rou– be wary of, of making a magician angry!”

    “I be what I be. I could tell you what you want to know, but I be a cat. And no cat anywhere EVER gave anyone a straight answer, ha harr.”

  89. “Hirohito Gamera?”

    “And Cornjob will be blamed.”

    “Hey, guess what? Nobody cares who would win in a crazy fantasy fist-fight between Anne Frank and Lizzie Borden. We never should have brought the henchmen. We’re going to be the only ones there with henchmen!”

  90. SugarLeigh! Thank goodness someone knows that one. I posted the cat’s answer above, but no one seems to have caught it yet.

    “When the skull speaks, when the wine drinks itself, when the clock strikes the right time…”

  91. feisty_jenn, you got it — I had just about given up on that one. That book was to my expectations of college as David Bowie’s package was to my expectations of packages.

    SugarLeigh, that’s Schmendrick and the kitchen cat, respectively, in the movie version of The Last Unicorn (the book’s better!).

  92. At the risk of someone already having said so, “I mock you with my monkey pants” was Oz, talking about how the monkey is the only animal in the animal crackers who gets to wear pants–possibly with a French accent.

  93. Emmy: I think it was from the Critic, but yes, it’s Orson Welles doing a commercial for Rosebud frozen peas. :) I giggle uncontrollably when I see it. Yes!

    Next:

    “Oh, God, I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.”

  94. @ emmy
    Broodwich from Aqua Teen Hunger Force!
    The 3-D stuff and “ROBOTS!” is from “Intermission in the 3rd Dimension” or (maybe “After The Show?” ) from Bitter Films, again. It is super great, the return of the fluffy things from “Rejected!”

  95. Yay, Emmy!

    I used to think everyone and their brother had seen that movie because me and my pals were obsessed with it growing up, and then I got old and gray and suddenly all these people were looking at me funny when I mentioned it… I was all “augh you never saw the iconic film of my childhood?! BLASPHEMERS!”

    It was all very traumatic for me. LOL.

    The book is good too, but very much a different creature than the film.

  96. TBS, did you also date a (literally) Shakespearian actor who played the bagpipes like someone killing a lot of cats?

    … probably too much to expect.

  97. FJ all I can say is that someone damn well stole that line from Arlo Guthrie, then, because it’s in his (extremely) long preamble to The Story of Rueben Clamzo and His Strange Daughter in the Key of A. It refers to clams. Humph.

    Okay, I’ve got a couple of obscure ones, and perhaps one or two that aren’t that obscure. Here’s hoping someone else will recognize them:

    “Without the bleats there’s no irony, Maria. Any fool knows that.”

    “I’m the producer, I say who’s fired and I’m fucking fired!”

    “He’s very clean, isn’t he?”

    “I really, really don’t think that shellfish is the answer.”

    Have fun!

  98. Oh, and speaking of iconic films of childhood:

    CASH for the merchandise,
    CASH for the buttonhooks,
    CASH for the cotton goods,
    CASH for the hard goods,
    CASH for the fancy goods,
    CASH for the soft goods,
    CASH for the knobbins and the piggins and the firkins,
    CASH for the hogshead, cask and demijohn
    CASH for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper!

  99. “I am the greetest! I will suddenly leave Earth for no raisin!”

    ZOMG! It’s the giant brain. It’s Futurama, and Fry has defeated the giant brain-sucking brains by writing the worst book ever!

  100. Also, everyone of my generation should know this one and if you do not you are remiss–remiss, I say!

    “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.”

  101. Tell me someone else gets this stuck in their head:

    “Too late to be known as John the First, he’s sure to be known as John the Worst, a pox on the Phony King of England.”

  102. emmy: “You can’t just go up to someone and say hey, remember me, we were kids together, will you marry me?”

  103. TBS – “I read the prescription…” Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog). I love that book! It’s online for free now, since the copyright ran out. And yes, I am shamefully related to Monty Python Nuts that do not have complete knowledge of the oeuvre (guess it gives them something to look forward to!).

    JupiterPluvius – thanks for the correct Latin translation!

    Another quote: “Coach Bob knew it all along: you’ve got to get obsessed and stay obsessed. You have to keep passing the open windows.”

  104. Johnny B. Average: Bubs on Homestarrunner.com.

    Here’s a few:

    “Send a postcard to Strunk and White!”

    “I am an excellent driver, but you cannot prepare for a naked lady and a hog in the middle of the road.”

    “I intend this breast satirically.”

    “‘One thing,’ he further added, ‘has suddenly ceased to lead to another,’ in contradiction of which he had another drink and slid gracelessly off his chair.”

  105. “Too late to be known as John the First, he’s sure to be known as John the Worst, a pox on the Phony King of England.”

    Robin Hood! (Furry edition)

    “She’s presenting like a mandrill!”
    BWAH! I forgot that one almost. MST3K should almost be off-limits… we’ll be at it all night… “The plot thickens… like rancid pea soup”

  106. Bunny: “We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese!”

    “Put your helmet on! We’ll be reaching speeds of 3!”

  107. But but, Bunny Mazonas, MST3K is… is AMAZING.

    “and now they’re going to boff in the air!”

    Really, everything from the Pantherman episode nearly made me wet myself.

  108. JR, is that something besides Hamlet / R & G are dead? (The second one. The first one sounds like The Producers, but probably isn’t.)

  109. @ Bunny: MST3K should almost be off-limits… we’ll be at it all night…

    I know. I could spend ages just whipping out random statements.

    “I’M BLIND, THAT THING CUT ME!”

    “I am so high.”

    “He triiiiiied to kill me with a forklift!”

  110. About half of these ring very familiar, but I can’t place any of them except My Cousin Vinny BUT this made me LOL and LOL:

    “Starring David Bowie’s package, and to a lesser extent his wig.”

    LOL!

  111. ZOMG! It’s the giant brain. It’s Futurama, and Fry has defeated the giant brain-sucking brains by writing the worst book ever!

    Hurray! A crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors!

  112. FJ, is that Space Ghost? With the head massage from Lucifer?

    You have NO IDEA how happy it makes me that you knew this. Do you remember who the salty olive-complected full head of hair guest was, by chance?

  113. There’s at least one person here who’d better get this:

    “Style largely depends on the way the chin is worn. They are worn very high, just at present.”

  114. “I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.”

  115. 1. “He did this. He leaned across the table, picked up the packet of biscuits, tore it open, took one out, and…”
    “What?”
    “Ate it.”
    “What?”
    “He ate it.”

    2. “That’s not purple, Mary, that color up there is mauve.”

    3. “You’ll never find a virtue un-statusing my quo, or making my Beelzebubble burst….”

    4. “Calling the patient by my name, he identifies with me immediately, we have an instant transference and thereby save five years of psychoanalysis.”
    “Brilliant!”

  116. cereselle, of course I know that one.

    “Oh! it is absurd to have a hard and fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn’t. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn’t read.”

    One of my favorite plays of all time.

  117. Cereselle, that sounds so very much like something Lewis Carroll would’ve written. But if it is him, I can’t place it. And if it’s not, I’m out of guesses.

  118. Oh, ker-duh. I have read that. I think my favorite thing about that play is that the title gets funnier the longer the story goes on. Saw part of a movie adaptation too, which was pretty well-done. Yay. Earnest.

  119. OK, webcomics quotes. Brace yourselves:

    “Hey, you only need that kink sprung on you ONCE before you start asking in advance.”

    “You were once shoved headfirst through someone’s vagina. Why are you acting so dignified?”

    “My fellow Americans, my opponent has a cheeseburger for a head. A CHEESEBURGER.”

    “Th-the perfect thing to say, ever!” *SPLUT*

    “It’s inevitable, so there’s no way to do it wrong.”

    “This is SCIENCE, Benny. This is th’ cock of science. LET TH’ COCK OF SCIENCE FUCK YOU!”

  120. cereselle: That’s Cold Comfort Farm!

    “But although she may prevent us from becoming man and wife, and though I may marry someone else and marry often, nothing that she can possibly do will alter my eternal devotion to you.”

  121. Everyone will get this one, but I just want to post it somewhere where someone WILL get it:

    “English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?”

    I JUST watched a video of the comic responsible for “I used to do drugs. I still do drugs, but I used to do them also” but I’m damned if I can remember who it was. George Carlin? Richard Pryor?

    “Are you free?” is from the inimitable ‘Are You Being Served,’ usually parlayed hilariously by John Inman.

    Mitch Hedberg makes me laugh until I hurt.

  122. ZOMG! KateS.! that’s my favorite quote from the entire series. It gets used a lot at Casa Twistie!

    ceserelle, I am SUCH a fan of that book and the movie with Kate Beckinsale and a cast of awesome.

  123. “I ask you, what could possibly be in my eye that could explain this?”

    “Bad example”

    “We have a rule here on Earth. Every kid has GOT to have a dog. This is a dog.”

  124. Okay, this thread is officially made of too much awesome. So much awesome in one place could cause a rift in the intertubes, you know.

    “Oh Hi, I’m from the Internet.”
    “What are you DOING?!”
    “Gluing captions to your cats.”

  125. Twistie: you’re the only other person I’ve ever interacted with who’s actually read the BOOK of Cold Comfort Farm.

    I love how you’re just reading along in this mentioning-WWII-book, come across video phones, and then check the copyright date and realize that it was written before WWII started.

  126. emmy: David Sedaris, from Me Talk Pretty … — don’t remember the essay title.

    Twistie: The problem is that I am now a perfectly safe penguin, and my colleague here is rapidly running out of limbs!

  127. “If the baby does survive, the question is — what do we do with it?”
    “Do? What are you suggesting? That we throw it out of an airlock?”
    “I don’t make suggestions, ____. If I want to toss a baby out of an airlock, I’d say so.”

  128. My favorite sign ever*: “This road is so safe a boy could bike on it with his eyes shut!”

    * Okay, the recent hacked road signs claiming that there may be delays because of zombies comes close.

  129. TBS, I read the book too, and I was similarly stunned by the mention of video phones. It was… unnerving. I actually like the movie better, as it leaves all that out.

  130. Kate S, I don’t remember either, but I know it was one of the ones about learning French. Another favorite from the same book: “After a few months in my parents’ basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of the these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.”

  131. Oooh, ooh, speaking of which!
    “I’m going to be eaten by zombie woodsmen. That’s not how a philosopher should die.”

  132. emmy: “When Mother/Destroyer is crawling through the birth canal of concertina wire, do you want me to ‘bleat, bleat’ or just bleat?” Something like that. He doesn’t want to steal focus.

  133. Twistie- Yup, and I’ll go ahead and admit the other two are Jack too, from season 4’s “Window of Opportunity” (my stepdaughter’s favorite episode…ironically enough it’s about a time loop and she’s watched it over and over and over…)

    Kate S.- the “looks” qoute is Goonies!

  134. OTM, I don’t remember the line exactly, but from context, that’s gotta be President Roslyn talking about Athena and Helo’s baby. New ep tonight, yay!

    “My mom had to get a restraining order against my stepdad. He has emotional problems.”
    “Oh, I have those too! What kind of emotional problems does your dad have?”
    “He stabbed my mom four times in the chest.”
    “Oh.”

  135. Okay, I saw some Robin Hood: Men in Tights back there, and I believe a Venture Brothers quote (sorry I can’t remember who they came from.)

    “Receiving transmission from David Bowie’s nipple antennae!”

  136. Is it true that that particular SG-1 episode snippet resulted from a Make A Wish kid’s wish that her dog be on TV? Because that’s what I heard and I LOVED that idea. Rumor has it, that actor is pretty active for Make A Wish. But I never bothered really checking it out. It usually doesn’t occur to me, especially where actors and things are concerned. I probably wouldn’t even recognize the most famous people around if I ran into them in the street.

    It would go thusly:
    “oops, sorry.”
    “grr! what’s the matter with you, don’t you know who I am?”
    “no, not really.”
    “I am freaking Tom Cruise, for heaven’s sake!”
    “Oh. I’ve heard of you, you’re an actor, right?”

  137. SugarLeigh: that reminds me of a story I heard, one of those “friend of a friend” things. Michelle Pfeiffer called the hotel where my friend’s friend worked, and wanted a reservation. They were full, and he said so. She spelled her name for him, and asked if he couldn’t find anything for her. He said no. She said “Don’t you know who I am?!” He answered, “Yeah, weren’t you in Grease 2?”

    Hee. Probably not true, but funny.

  138. From some “should be required for everyone reading”:

    “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

  139. Heck, no one’s gotten my “round, round world” song from waaaaay upthread. I feel sorry for you all, not knowing the genius that is Stan Freberg Presents The United States of America.

  140. liberalandproud, Beauty and the Beast! My roommate and I love the opening scene with Belle because we both used to walk around with our noses in books all day.

  141. “Believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding against the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid… and I went ahead anyway.”

    :)
    I know this one – MST3K – The Movie!

  142. Ailei–Road to El Dorado! Did somebody get that already and I missed it? Because it is crazy to me that no one recognized that quote. (Also, “Well… it’s NOT a pry bar.”)

    Twistie, we were just in the middle of creating an insurmountable tension in our working relationship!

    Johnny B. Average, you are AWESOME. I don’t even know what the last two comics quotes are from, but 1 is QC, 2 is XKCD, 3 is Overcompensating, and 4 is Achewood.

    More from webcomics:

    “You… slack-jawed… junkslut. X… means… 10.”

    “Rocks fall! Everybody dies!”

    “My eyes are up here.”
    “Yes, but your breasts are down there.”
    “My EYES are up HERE.”
    “I’ll get to them in a minute. I’m sure they’re lovely.”

    “I got to imitate Jack White! There comes a time!”

    “It all comes back to toast.”

  143. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

    For another hint on my quote upthread about not succeeding on Broadway,
    “They were lost in a dark and very expensive forest.”

  144. Linz – YES! My favorite animated movie of all time. Also: “We are both in barrels. That is the extent of my knowledge.” Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh FTW.

    And yes…to whomever upthread got Real Genius. This thread moves at the speed of light!

  145. And a few from movies…

    “It’s so hot in here! Do you have some ice I could rub on my nipples?”

    “Wrists are for girls. I’m slitting my throat.”

    “I’ve already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of ‘Moby Dick.'”

    An easy one, I hope:

    “They’re filming something. They’re filming midgets!”

    Finally, I will totally marry (okay, I’ll at least make out with) anyone who gets this one:

    “Good luck on your sad journey to the other side. I’m sorry you were such a cunt.”

  146. Linz – “No, really, this time it’ll be different.”
    *roll roll roll roll*
    “Everyone dies, and is not found for . . . ” *roll roll roll*
    “…15,000 years!

  147. And a more recent one, that is one my daughter’s all time favorites: “..where I got my ‘Yes, Master’ degree.”

  148. Heh. I’m too slow. But yay for Hamlet and Beauty and the Beast anyway.

    Ones I still have that no one has gotten:

    “SMITE! SMITE! SMITE SMITE! SMITE!” (webcomic)

    “Let’s be about it.” (books)

    “He called me ‘Little One.'” (books)

    And others:

    “You’ll prove to me, before the night’s out, you’re all the same.”

    “My father was an expert swordsman, monsieur. He taught me well. Now hand me that key or I swear on his grave I will slit you from navel to nose.”

  149. Dinner already? Gee, it’s 2 in the afternoon where I am.

    Are you somewhere… WARM?! Please, send me a sunbeam! LET ME LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH YOU!

    XD

    And JR, is that line from Hello, Dolly?

    Also, wow. We are some seriously awesome, nerdy, bawdy, amazing folks.

    Seriously, there is ribaldry enough to please the Bard in here. :D

    GOOD TIMES.

  150. emilymorgan, no, it’s not. The comic it’s from isn’t normally about gaming, only once in a while.

    Here’s the whole exchange:

    “My involvement in this mission was just an excuse to get close to the king and assassinate him. That’s okay, right?”
    “You know what? Fuck it. Rocks fall and everybody dies.”
    “But the kingdom is on a featureless plain. Where do–?
    “ROCKS FALL! EVERYBODY DIES!”

  151. KellyK, the last one is from Ever After.

    SugarLeigh, the 1st quote is the opening line of Pride and Prejudice. The 2nd is from a musical.

  152. Ah… P&P. Couldn’t get through it. Then again, I was thirteen and not so sure I liked boys all that much. But, it’s better than Bronte. Anything is. Bronte makes me vomit. I hate when people call Wuthering Heights a love story. It’s not. It’s a hate story. She was a good writer, I can’t fault her skill or her prose, I just hate her characters, her premise, and her general tone.

    Mostly I hate that I was forced to read that vile drivel. I’ll never get those hours of my life back. It’s the only book I’ve ever had the deep urge to burn.

    Back to our regularly scheduled thread…

  153. “That’s why so many young Sparks don’t make it. They’re smart enough to build death rays, and dumb enough to turn them on armies all by themselves.”

    “Any plan vere you lose you hat is a bad plan!”

    “Horse! Pie! Horse! Pie!”

  154. SugarLeigh, I actually tore my copy of Wuthering Heights into 3 parts and threw it across my room when I was trying to read it for high school English. I refused to finish it on the grounds that I disliked every single character in the book.

    I do love Jane Eyre though and have read it at least 5 times.

  155. Johnny B. Average: “I am thinking she is a virgin. Or at least, she used to be.”

    Short Circuit, yes?

    This is moving so fast I think I’m caught up, but if people have posted these before, my apologies:

    “Arise! Sir Loin of Beef! *whack* Arise! Duke of Ellington! *whack* Arise! Earl of Cloves! *whack* Milk of Magnesia! *whack* Quarter of Ten!”

    “Change was never an evil in itself.”

    “Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?”
    “Not right now.”
    “A girl’s gotta have her standards.”

  156. KellyK, on February 6th, 2009 at 4:37 pm Said:
    living400lbs: “nibbled to death by cats” is Londo Mollari from Babylon 5.

    Yes :)

    liberalandproud, on February 6th, 2009 at 4:42 pm Said:
    “YES! nononononono YES! nononononono YES! nono YES! nononononononononono YES!” etc.

    “Nononononononono YES!” is one of the parish council members on The Vicar of Dibley….

    Sidian: “Understanding is a three-edged sword.” – Kosh from Babylon 5

    TBS, the prescription is from Three Men In A Boat (To Say Nothing Of the Dog) – I started reading it after reading Connie Willis’ To Say Nohting of the Dog and then quoted the prescription in my blog.

    Angie: “Good day, sir! I said, GOOD DAY!” – Tootsie, and “The ratio of people to cake is too big.” is Office Space :)

  157. Oh, and another good one: “I wish in the past I had tried more things ’cause now I know that being in trouble is a fake idea.”

  158. a book that with an entirely blank page in the middle, so the reader could imagine something the author didn’t want to describe.

    And an entirely black page. And a marbled black-and-white page in between the white page and the black page.

    OH TRISTRAM SHANDY HOW I ADORE YOU

  159. “I’ve already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of ‘Moby Dick.’”

    Heathers! “Eskimo.”

    “Arise! Sir Loin of Beef! *whack* Arise! Duke of Ellington! *whack* Arise! Earl of Cloves! *whack* Milk of Magnesia! *whack* Quarter of Ten!”

    This is Bugs Bunny knighting (I think) Elmer Fudd, though I don’t know which cartoon exactly.

    “Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?”
    “Not right now.”
    “A girl’s gotta have her standards.”

    Real Genius. :D

  160. As long as we’re doing webcomics, here are my two favorite online reads:

    “CURSE YOU, RUNCIBLE SPOON!”

    and

    “Dammit, what the hell do you say to the female duplicate of your ex-boyfriend who is hiding under the table and crying?”

  161. I had a hideous deadline and I’m so late to the party there probably isn’t even any cake left.

    Nonetheless:-

    “These are the bitter elves”

    “`The god of what? Bad home perms? ”

    “They hung in the air in exactly the same way as bricks don’t”

    Knock yourselves out.

  162. JR– thank heavens! I am not the only one. I really did hate every single character in the book. Not one of them had a single redeeming quality. They were vile human beings. But basically everyone I ever talked to that read that book seems to think it’s the pinnacle of literature. UGH. I now officially adore you (before, it was merely unofficial adoration). We are literary Soul Sisters. Though, I guess maybe not perfectly so. I haven’t read Jane Eyre.

  163. Tangerina, that’s also from Achewood! Ray says awesome things when he’s stoned.

    Buffpuff, the god of bad home perms is of course Glorificus.

  164. Tangerina, yes! Hurrah!

    And I too loathed Wuthering Heights. Really? I’m meant to think Heathcliff and Catherine are that awesome? REALLY???

    I am not a huge fan of any of the Brontes, but I adore Austen. I could reread Pride and Prejudice weekly.

    “They hung in the air in exactly the same way as bricks don’t”

    Hitchhiker’s Guide, talking about the Vogon ships.

    Oddly, I don’t think I’ve seen any quotes from this yet…

    “Now look! You’re marrying Princess Lucky, so you’d better get used to the idea!” *slap*

    *and later in the scene*

    “But Father…”
    “Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on!”

    *music swells*

    “And no singing!”

  165. oh! sherunslunatic: I don’t think anyone’s gotten the satirical breast yet: Coupling (Susan, to be precise)

    and an offering of my own:
    “He’s biting that female!”

  166. SugarLeigh, awww. I accept your adoration and gleefully offer my own.

    There is a particularly hilarious scene in the 3rd Thursday Next book by Jasper Fforde where the characters in Wuthering Heights have a group therapy session about how much they all hate Heathcliff.

  167. cereselle, I’ve offered a couple quotes from the musical, but I don’t think any one else has referenced huge tracts of land.

  168. Oh, I can’t believe I forgot this one:

    “A hot bath is wonderful. Girls are wonderful!”
    “Yes. Imagine how wonderful a girl who bathes would be. Get dressed.”

    And a few more (what? It’s not often I get to show off my prodigious memory for quotable things):

    “I call shotgun!”
    “I call 9 millimeter.”

    “I will describe my eyes, and then I will begin my story. My eyes are blue and resplendent. Now I will begin my story.”

    “You can’t just say, ‘I’m the Messiah. God wants you to have this bacon.'”

    “It could be fun.”
    “That’s what you always say, and next thing you know I’m jumping over canals in three-inch heels while napalm explodes around me.”
    “Yes. That’s how I define fun.”

    “How do you think I feel? Betrayed. Bewildered. …Was that the wrong answer?”

  169. Heehee. I wrote a paper for that class about “literature as moral instruction.” I included a little dig about WH. My introduction involved a hypothetical scenario in which I want my hypothetical child to understand the potentially harmful consequences of his habit of throwing rocks, without having to actually experience them. I said something along the lines of, “I could resurrect Bronte, have her make a few edits to Wuthering Heights, and republish it as Heathcliff, the Boy Who Threw Rocks, and What Happened to Him and Everyone Around Him.”

    I was pretty vocal about hating that book. I was the only one in the class. It was kind of funny, actually.

  170. Honor Harrington is made of win and kickass. <3 Order of the Stick always cracks me up, but school interferes with my webcomic reading (what’s up with this whole ‘studying’ thing anyway? :P ), so it’s been a while since I read it.

    More webcomic goodness!

    “Huh. I thought women were shaped more like Jennifer Lopez.”
    “Despite what you’ve been taught, no.”

  171. Oh, and nobody look up Honor on Wikipedia if you haven’t finished the whole series. Major flipping spoiler in the very first part of the entry. :: wails “And I wasn’t finished reading them yet!”

  172. I am so glad to see we have a lot in common. I spotted my favorite movie (Princess Bride), my favorite scifi series (Bablyon 5, although I also loved Firefly, all Star Trek, etc.), and others.

    Here are two for you. Two books:

    “My father had a face that could stop a clock. I don’t mean that he was ugly or anything; it was a phrase the ChronoGuard used to describe someone who had the power to reduce time to an ultraslow trickle. ”

    “Books have to be heavy because the whole world’s inside them”

  173. SugarLeigh, I had to explain to my teacher why my book was now in three pieces. The whole class got to hear my rant on why it sucked and how many other really good books were out there that we could have read instead. If anyone else in class had problems with the book, they were too scared of getting bad marks from the teacher to say so.

    Linz, I think the 2nd bit is from The Sarah Conner Chronicles.

  174. JR and SugarLeigh – I agree wholeheartedly in the hating of WH. And in the love of Jane Eyre – it’s one of my favourites.

    And another quote, even though no-one has guessed my previous two –
    ‘Chris Matthews met the girl he was going to kill on a warm night in early June.’

  175. “Believe it or not this movies still on, it should have ended two hours ago.”

    “And our hero roasts a disabled man.”

    “Thick McRunfast.”

    Oh also have you heard that Red Dwarf is coming back?

  176. How about this one, from my favorite movie of all time:

    “A setup like that costs more than we ever took! If he would just pay me the money he’s spending to make me stop robbing him, I’d stop robbing him.”

  177. TBS – “I’ll have to enclose the check first”… Groucho Marx dictating a letter – can’t think which movie…

    Near the top of the thread -“I’m a lifetime in my own legend” Cohen the Barbarian in the Terry Pratchett book that comes after Colour of Magic – can’t think of the title.

    I don’t recognise much else – feeling auld and out of touch, and more than a mite forgetful….

    Still, fun thread to come back to.

  178. Johnny B. Average, waaaay back you quoted Victor/Victoria, I believe.

    And cereselle, Donnie Darko somewhere up there.

    Donnie Darko holds a special place in my heart for a couple of reasons. I grew up in Fairfax County, Virginia, where it’s supposedly set (although the nearest mountains are about a half hour’s drive away, so I sigh resignedly during the opening credits as our hero rides his bike home from them in no more time than it takes to get through “Killing Moon”). Richard Kelly may or may not know it, but one of our most treasured urban legends is about the Bunny Man, who was supposed to be an axe murderer active in Ffx County the ’70s or thereabouts. The real story is nearly as strange….

  179. a book that with an entirely blank page in the middle, so the reader could imagine something the author didn’t want to describe.

    Oh, fine, it’s okay when tristan shannon does it, but when Stephenie Meyer does it U R all like U SUCK! WELL NO ITS U WHO SUCK AND STEPH MEYER RULZ! Y ARE U SUCH HATERZ??!!!

  180. “My mom had to get a restraining order against my stepdad. He has emotional problems.”
    “Oh, I have those too! What kind of emotional problems does your dad have?”
    “He stabbed my mom four times in the chest.”
    “Oh.”

    Oh! Donnie Darko! Man, I love that film.

  181. Linz: Arthur. John Gielgud was so beautifully sarcastic in that role. “We have to be going. Unless you’re planning on knocking over a fruit stand later in the evening. Good luck in prison!”

  182. “___’s high-heeled slippers were very tight and hurt her, though she would not own it, and __’s nineteen hairpins all seemed stuck straight into her head, which was not exactly comfortable, but, dear me, let us be elegant or die.”

  183. I very much disliked Wuthering Heights too, until I read The Madwoman in the Attic (a rather aged, but still interesting book of feminist litcrit), and then I could admire it intellectually, but still dislike it viscerally. Makes for an interesting tension. I find it fascinating, because pretty much every Taming the Beast scenario in romance traces its descent from WH.

    Jane Eyre is nice, but how about Villette? I adore Villette.

  184. Mostly I hate that I was forced to read that vile drivel. I’ll never get those hours of my life back. It’s the only book I’ve ever had the deep urge to burn.
    I have a confession. I burned my copy a page at a time in our wood stove when I was a freshman in high school. Unfortunately, I brought WH on myself, as I had picked it for my book report. Several years later, I reread WH while traveling in Yorkshire, and I actually enjoyed it. Still hated the characters, but I guess I understood the mood more.

  185. Holy shit I took a nap and now there are over 400 comments. Nobody’s gotten the title of the post yet, though. :)

    FJ all I can say is that someone damn well stole that line from Arlo Guthrie, then,

    Arlo Guthrie did, apparently! Just not in a song. In a movie.

  186. Bunny and cereselle–thoughts on the director’s cut? I thought it took out a lot of the mystery. I kinda liked the slight confusion the theatrical release left me.

    And why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

  187. Ailbhe:
    About the Richard III in Thursday Next: I’ve seen a script for doing that –complete with the audience interactions. Wouldn’t you love to participate in a group replay of that with a bunch of props? I just love it.
    “What time is it?
    “Now is the winter of our discontent….made glorious summer …”
    (everyone gets out sunglasses)

  188. Living400lbs:

    if that quote also has something to do with a burnt dress, stained gloves, and someone burning her hair off, I know it, I know…. :)

  189. Richelle, I was very disappointed with the directors cut – although I liked some of the extra scenes, I think a lot of the extras were just… meh, really.

    they also took out the awesome music.

    Oh! But I loved fiddling with the website and trying to get answers – the little snippets of info and the quick looks into the book were so cool!

    “What are feces?”
    “Baby mice”
    “Awww”

  190. Agreed, Bunny. But what I want to know is, “how exactly does one suck a fuck?”

    I’ll invoke another of the classics: “I feel like a pig shat in my head.”

  191. @ Linz: “Wrist are for girls” – Ginger Snaps
    @ SugarLeigh – Runcible Spoon is from Dominic Deegan
    @lLiving400lbs “…but dear me, let us be elegant or die!” is from Little women

  192. My contributions:

    “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Mmmmm…soup.”

    “I once shot a man just to watch him die, but then I got distracted and missed it. My friends tried to describe it to me, but it just isn’t the same.”

  193. “Just because some watery tart threw a sword at you, it doesn’t make you the King of England!”

    Somewhat obvious, but entirely classic.

  194. Richelle, I’m glad someone got that one! I was beginning to lose hope.

    Linz and Tangerina, “Let no man put asunder what I believe to be thee proper attyre for footballe.”

  195. Oh! Here’s one of my all time laugh till I pee scenes:

    Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not “Every man for himself.” And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, ___. I looked them up.

  196. “Come on! We can have a good flirt later!”
    “Is that a promise?”
    “Oh, fifty-seven academics just punched the air.”

    Long shot, but…
    “From the director of the Rodney King Beatings, comes the excruciatingly horror tale of a man, pushed to the edge of destiny. Torn between right and wrong, morals and ethics, fiction and reality, creation and destruction, up or down, right or left, stop or go, yes or no, spit or swallow!”

    “He goes ‘unnnnnnnnnnnh’ and they’re all like ‘that’s a good point bear, let’s try that!”

  197. Well, shit, I was leaving the Pulp Fiction alone because it seemed too easy, but if there’s an actual, real prize then I want it!

    Coco, what was the middle one?

  198. MinervaK – Oh, that’s Pulp Fiction, is it not? Samuel L. Jackson is a baad motherfucker *nods sagely*

    Still no guesses on mine!

  199. Agree with the Wuthering Heights hatred – I also thought I was the only one. I love Jane Eyre, though.

    “But there are opportunities for so many excellent puns in our language that, to an educated person like myself, the temptation to express them is almost irresistible.”

  200. Props, Linz and cereselle! And curses to those who beat me to Thursday Next and The Eyre Affair.

    No one knows the bitter elves? I’m saddened.

    How’s about, “Ah, go on – they’re diagonal!” For Brits and Anglophiles I fear.

  201. TM, the Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.

    Also: “The goat?”
    “The REMOTE!”

  202. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not “Every man for himself.” And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, ___. I looked them up.

    Those are all mistakes, Otto! A Fish Called Wanda! Finally, I got one before someone else did! Unless A) someone else got it in the time it took me to type this, or B) it’s already been asked and answered somewhere upthread, and I missed it because THIS THREAD IS FUCKING BANANAS, Y’ALL.

  203. OK, I’ve got a partial one rattling around in my head — maybe y’all can tell me where it’s from:

    Girl: I’m a modern woman and you can’t make me get married yadda yadda . . . .
    Man: It’s the 12th Century, my lady. Find a white dress.

  204. Anita, on February 6th, 2009 at 6:28 pm Said:

    My favorite sign ever*: “This road is so safe a boy could bike on it with his eyes shut!

    OMG, OMG, The Hounds of the Morrigan! Such an adorable kids’ book. But my vote for ‘Best Sign’ still has to go to “No Pedestering”!

    My contribution:

    “Mama! Papa! IT WAS YOOOOOOOU!”

  205. This thread is amazing and huge. I’m afraid to refresh again. From Princess Bride, the Last Unicorn, Are you Being Served…such great stuff all over. Let’s see if I can add any stumpers!

    “Without you, today’s emotions would be the scurf of yesterday’s. ”

    “With a prompter in every cellar window whispering comebacks, shy people would have the last laugh. ”

    “Hey! Why did you get the Large Breed Puppy Chow?”

    “I TOLD you dem chickens was organized!”

    “YAY I’m a llama again! Wait.”

  206. These aren’t really that obscure and several are from the same people…

    “That is not meant to be eaten!”
    “You never know until you’ve eaten it.”

    ****
    “It’s blowing peace and freedom; it’s blowing you and me!”

    ****
    “My Bubbe made a kishka, She made it nice and fat.
    My Zeyde took one look and said, ‘My God, I can’t eat that!’
    Oh mama mama mama, Oh mama me oh my…”

    ****
    ‘Ello, ‘ow ‘are ‘oo? You know, Are you going to Artford? Not live in this Ell Ole.”

    ***
    Many fans burnt their albums. Many more burnt their fingers attempting to burn their albums. Album sales skyrocketed. People were buying them just to burn them.

  207. Thanks a lot, April D, now I have to search the whole thread for Last Unicorn quotes. And I could have just gone on with life without even knowing they were there…

  208. I’m stunned no one caught mine yet. xD I thought it was fairly well known.

    This one and my last one are somewhat connected…
    -“Have you any famous last words?”
    -“Not yet.”
    -“”Not yet”? Is that famous?”

  209. A Sarah, 2nd one is A Mighty Wind. “Thank God for the model trains, y’know? If they didn’t have the model trains they wouldn’t have gotten the idea for the big ones.”

  210. April D and Becca: Too true! If you know the MP guys, my next quote shouldn’t be too hard B: I’m an Anglophile and fan of all things British and comedic.

  211. It is hard to think of many since the hubby and I watch a lot of anime with the original language and subtitles! But here are a couple more:

    “Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom. “

  212. “Ask him to prescribe something for a headache, will you? I’ve got this shocking pain right behind the eyes…”

    “Have you considered amputation?”

    and

    “That boulder is too large. I could lift a smaller one.”

    Coco:

    Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not “Every man for himself.” And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, ___. I looked them up.

    A Fish Called Wanda?

  213. “Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom. “

    Oh! I know it’s Terry Pratchett – but is it Wintersmith or one of the DEATH books?

  214. I’m gonna post mine again, because I cannot believe that there are no Shapelings who watch this show:

    “Receiving transmission from David Bowie’s nipple antennea!”

  215. it occurs to me mine may be a little too obscure on its own, so some context:
    from a tv show, spoken in true horror, by a character that existed for only one episode, upon seeing a couple kissing:

    “He’s biting that female!!!”

  216. “You can’t just say, ‘I’m the Messiah. God wants you to have this bacon.’”
    Linz, it’s been a while since I read it, but that sounds a helluva lot like Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff.

    Richelle, Villette is my favorite Charlotte Bronte book, though I still haven’t read Shirley (own it, but never got around to reading it).

    And on the subject of Bronte, I’m another who cannot stand Wuthering Heights. Gag me with a wet noodle, but I hated what little of the book I read.

    An arcane quote from the oh-so-long-forgotten twentieth century: “Ask to be told the legend of the purple socks. 10 cents.”

  217. Many fans burnt their albums. Many more burnt their fingers attempting to burn their albums. Album sales skyrocketed. People were buying them just to burn them.

    The Rutles.

    And I see I cross-posted the Fish Called Wanda answer with Kate.

  218. Wish – I don’t even watch the show, and I know that one (saw it on Youtube). “I’m David Bowie, and this is a freaky, freaky dream.”

  219. TM: Wait, no! It’s ‘Little Britain’!

    8D Anyone recognize this one?
    “Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I’m delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever. “

  220. niemaodpowiedzi, yes! Also (from the same author, different book), “I Am Poor And My Cat Is Huge.”

    BeccaBoo, I feel like I recognize that one. I suspect that when someone gets it I’m going to kick myself for not remembering.

  221. although, I should say, on the right track with having to do with “people” who don’t understand human behavior

  222. Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.

    That’s Myria/Unity from Thief of Time, isn’t it?

  223. “This is the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. And a damn fine Beaujolais!”

    “What we need is young blood… and brains.”

    Related but not the same source: “Odds, bodkins, and copper pots!”

    I haven’t caught up on the 450+ comments yet, so I will have to study later to see if I have answers. I’m glad to see the Spaceghost was figured out, though! “Would you like to have some of my… sex? With me?”

  224. minervaK, Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction.

    Kelly K made an Ever After quote somewheres up the thread.

    And mine (not entirely accurate, but what the hell:)

    “Since you’re new, I’ll also need a pint of your blood.”

    “Why?”

    “So many reasons”

  225. BeccaBoo, not sure if you were saying that in relation to my quote, but just in case, mine isn’t from Little Britain :P

  226. Wish, oh no :o I has guessed at TM’s previous quote and I realized I made a mistake and corrected myself. The answer was ‘Little Britain.’

    Do you know this one?
    ‘Freeze? I’m a robot. I’m not a refrigerator.’

  227. harveypenguin, on February 6th, 2009 at 9:37 pm Said:

    “You guys! Ponce died from trash, you guys!”

    Clone High! Their angst is entertaining! Clone High!

    I’ll try an easier one this time:

    “Hear the words I sing,
    War’s a horrid thing,
    But still I sing, sing, sing,
    Ding a ling a ling.”

  228. “I’m going to be the next Canadian Dracula.”
    “You are? You’re not even Canadian.”
    “I’m not Dracula either but I’ve got what it takes.”

  229. @AprilD – “Hey! Why did you get the Large Breed Puppy Chow?” – the 6th book of Harry Dresden, one of my favorites!

  230. Scarlett: Yes! I am totally going to re-read that book soon. (Kids fiction > adult fiction in so many ways).

    This thread is making me feel very unworldly. Holy cow.

  231. My favorite TV character: “I think sometimes that all my hair will fall out and I’ll be bald.” Tangerina, is that Drusilla?

    How about this one: “I’ve never seen that. I’ve never seen anybody drive their garbage down to the street and bang the hell out of it with a stick. I’ve never seen that before.”

  232. Isn’t the title from ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide’? The play Zaphod was in? It’s been far too long ….

    My contribution:

    ‘YES! He was my BOYFRIEND!’

  233. Beccaboo, i was not expecting someone else to know their Abbott and Costello, or at least not so fast! I was trying to remember better quotes from that movie, but I couldn’t get any of them quite right, and the internet is surprisingly little help.

    Someone up there has been quoting FotC, but it is too overwhelming to scroll up and see who!

  234. volcanista: To Kill a Mockingbird is one of my favorite movies, along with The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, so you get an idea of my vast Hollywood knowledge xD

  235. You was here, last night too, wasn’t ya?

    Yes… sir, I was

    You was here, and you was smoochin’ wit my brother!

    [after a pause] I’m terribly sorry, sir, I’m afraid you’re mistaken.

    Don’t gimme that! You’ve been smoochin’ wit everybody! Snuffy. Al. Leo. Little Moe, with the gimpy leg. Cheeks. Boney Bob. Cliff.

    [gasps] No!
    [others stare at him in disgust]
    It’s a lie!

    I could go on forever, baby!

  236. I am very, very bad at guessing, but my OH just reminded me of another one!

    “she’ll go barefoot, and wear dresses, and when the Autumn comes I’ll dump her! Because she’ll be my summer girl!”

  237. I *knew* folks would get that one quickly! Here’s another:

    ‘I feel the power of evil coursing through my veins, filling every corner of my being with the desire to do wrong.’

  238. I’d just like to give a shoutout to scotlyn, upthread, who identified “I’m a lifetime in my own legend”. It is from The Light Fantastic. I say it all the time.

  239. monkey – that quote is so awfully familiar that I’m going to go nuts if no one places it.

    From Thursday Next to Hitchhiker’s guide to 10th kingdom, you guys have already used up all my favorites! May I add:

    “Just then, _____ caused a slight diversion by turning into a large canary…”

    Obvious, but fun.

  240. How about:

    “You’re staring at the cash the way Hank stares at cash….
    Oh my God, you’ve become your own metaphor.”

    AND…

    “They actually put watermelon seeds IN THE POPSICLES!”

  241. Kate – Yes! Though Linz beat you to it technically by asking “What was the middle one?” although the line was “What was the middle thing again?”

    And let me just say that I’ve also used “I know sheep that could outwit you! I’ve worn dresses with higher IQ’s!” so many times that my husband has begged me to have my memory scrubbed of the movie.

    With that, I shall end by saying: “It’s K-k-k-ken! He’s c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me!”

  242. Kirsten – yay, another fan! For those who didn’t get it, it was from Flight of the Conchords :)

    I’ll try an easier one:

    “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”

  243. It was fairly obscure, FJ. But I really enjoy reading it, so I’ll type it again, just for you:

    “Receiving transmission from David Bowie’s nipple antennae!”

  244. I guess no one hear reads the online Steampunk comic Girl Genius or they’d have my line about it never is a good plan if you lose your hat.

    Ah well. I only learned of the thing four months ago and I spent two days reading their 7 years of comics (yes, I was out of work–still am! Still looking, still no luck–it is threads like this that keep my hopes up in these hard financial times).

    May I recommend Girl Genius to you, my friends? I find it hilarious and strange. Have to start from the beginning, though. It is a continuing storyline and is too complex to jump in the middle.

  245. @ Wish: “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”

    Ralph Wiggum! “My cat’s name is Mittens!@

    “I prepared Exploding Runes this morning.”

  246. Kim – aw, and I do read Girl Genius! I even caught another quote from GG way upthread.

    Scarlett – Hooray for Ralph Wiggum fans!

    This is from a cartoon as well, to make things easier:

    “Professor, for saving the Earth and foiling me, I proudly, yet angrily, present you with Earth’s new highest honor: The Polluting Medal Of Pollution.”

  247. Here are some movie quotes for y’all:

    “You know, I think we’d all be better off if she’d think more about the team and less about getting honey on her muffin!”

    “Well, whatever you’re doing, go don’t do it somewhere else.”

    “This is where the fish live.”

    And some TV quotes:

    “You’re so flat, the walls are jealous!”

    “I am not making the hills out of the mole-mounts!”

    “You know nothing about football!”

    “I’m just a mouth on legs.”

  248. Man, some of mine are too obscure. Beccaboo, you should also know the “What we need is fresh blood… and brains.”

    Not yet guessed:
    “The smell of battery acid makes me thirsty!!” (hint: kid’s movie, probably early 90s. Very bad kid’s movie.)
    “This is the blood of our Lord Jesus Chist. And a damn fine beaulolais!” (this is also a movie, a comedy that wasn’t widely popular and is probably now in even poorer taste, because it’s ALL ABOUT making fun of people with mental illnesses. But it was a family favorite.)

    New:
    “I wonder where its switch is!”

  249. This is also a family favorite, and not that obscure, except that the quote isn’t very definitive. It’s the tone in which it’s said that makes it particular to a certain source: “We’ll do THAT!”

  250. Coco, there are a few variations on that line throughout the movie–doesn’t he say “What was the middle one?” at some point? Maybe I was wrong. Wrong with a Wuh, for Wendy.

    Scarlett, is that from the Order of the Stick?

  251. “Professor, for saving the Earth and foiling me, I proudly, yet angrily, present you with Earth’s new highest honor: The Polluting Medal Of Pollution.”

    That would be Professor Farnsworth receiving a metal from Nixon! Oh Futurama, I love you so.

    “Come on! We can have a good flirt later!”
    “Is that a promise?”
    “Oh, fifty-seven academics just punched the air.”

    That was the English-nerdiest moment ever on Dr Who. Also the idea of David Tennant and Shakespeare chatting each other up makes my nipples explode with delight. (See what I did there?)

  252. @Kim: Yup, I posted Girl Genius quotes earlier today. I loves me some mad science!

    And it’s making me kind of sad that nobody is getting this webcomic…

    “This is not the time for the ‘Only we who are mad are truly sane’ speech!”
    “Says the six foot tall talking gerbil.”

  253. Reposting the ones I’ve done that no one’s gotten yet:

    “I’m going to send you to a vivisectionist!” (TV show)

    “It’ll be a nice day, if it doesn’t rain.””It’s always a nice day if it doesn’t rain.””If the sun’s not too warm.” (Technically, a TV show AND a movie, if that’s not a dead giveaway)

    “It’s inevitable, so there’s no way to do it wrong.” (Now-defunct webcomic)

    “This is SCIENCE, Benny. This is th’ cock of science. LET TH’ COCK OF SCIENCE FUCK YOU!” (Webcomic you really should be reading)

  254. @ Linz – Yes, you’re right. He did do several variations. My apologies!

    It’s been too long since I saw the movie in its entirety – want to come over? I’ll make popcorn! And it’s my birthday, so we can have cake! :D

  255. Apparently I’m much too mainstream to guess these quotes…

    although…
    “You know nothing about football!”
    I heard that on Sunday, but I doubt you’re quoting my friend :-p

    Here’s my attempt:

    “He just…”
    “Came and went.”
    “Now that’s how I’d like to go.”
    “That can be arranged.”

    (yeah that’s all one convo quote)

  256. No takers on “I feel like a pig shat in my head”? I’ll try a more widely-quoted line from same: “We’ve gone on holiday by mistake!”

  257. JR:“You won’t succeed on Broadway if you don’t have any Jews.” is from Spamalot, yes yes?

    Threnody: Neville!

    I think all the Monty Python quotes have been got…cereselle was quoting from Monty Python’s Holy Grail. Everyone got to the Pratchett, the Gaiman, the Adams and the Labyrinth before me, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many comments on a thread! This is fantastic :D

  258. I had a couple of Kids in the Hall quotes way up high, but I’m not sure if anyone got them.

    This was the PERFECT thread for a Friday where I was too sick to work but too well to stay home.

  259. “That’s not purple, Mary, that color up there is mauve.”

    Angels in America! Maybe the best play EVER! And the HBO version was great, too. (Now I’m trying to remember if that was the Millennium Approaches part or the Perestroika part. I’m thinking it must have been the first part, because Belize didn’t hate Louis’s guts yet…)

    OK, here’s one I will be happily stunned if anyone gets it. In fact, I’ll give two from the same character:

    “I went to P.S. Shit!”

    “That’s when I started breaking into people’s houses…oh, I didn’t steal anything, I just rearranged their furniture.”

  260. “Sir, the truth is I talk to God all the time, and no offense, but He never mentioned you.”

    is from Ladyhawk

  261. Ah, god, Spamalot, Kids in the Hall, I love you all so madly. And if it weren’t for the fact that my ADHD meds are no longer in my system I would go through and read the entire thread, but I just can’t do it.

    So I will leave you with this, just to see if anyone gets it.

    His mental approach to [management] could be visualized as a sort of business flowchart with, at the top, a circle entitled “Me, who does the telling” and, connected below it by a line, a large circle entitled “Everyone else.”

    …and here’s another:

    There were rooms containing rooms which, if you entered them, turned out to contain the room you’d started with, which can be a problem if you are in a conga line.

  262. Yay Meowser! I was shocked nobody had gotten that one. My absolute favorite play, from my absolute favorite playwright. And yeah, that quote’s from Millennium Approaches – Act 3, Scene 2.

  263. In case no one has gotten it yet, the dark and very expensive forest is fromSpamalot.

    Richelle, Villette is my favorite Charlotte Bronte book, though I still haven’t read Shirley (own it, but never got around to reading it).
    I wouldn’t recommend it. It takes 200 pages for the main character to be introduced and 300 for the plot to get rolling.

    My contributions:

    “And that’s why we Lutherans use Grape Kool-Aid for the blood of Christ.”

    “I think JFK’s a sweet potato. I’d have relations with him outside of marriage.”

  264. Meowser, your second quote is from A Chorus Line and is probably the best quote in the entire early 80’s nightmare of a wonderful movie that it is.

    I thought of one more before I’m done for the night:

    “My mother always used to say ‘Tears in a bucket, mother fuck it.'”

  265. Man, I came to this way too late too. Still, here’s a couple from me.

    1.”I’ve got the answer! Just by chance I happen to have on me a box of German matches.

    Wonderful, strike one! Ha, they’ll won’t fire at their own matches!”

    2. “Eat away, chew away, munch and bolt and guzzle. Never leave the table till you’re full up to the muzzle!”

  266. I really am no good at this game, but for those of you still playing, does anyone recognize this (not by far the best quote from the movie, but one I think of all of the time)

    “HEAD, DOWN, NOW!”

  267. And oh, come on, *somebody* must know this one:

    “That boulder is too large. I could lift a smaller one.”

    I’ll give y’all a hint. It’s from the same thing as this one:

    “Lift with the legs, Hercules!!”

  268. wellroundedtype2: “Look at the size a that boys noggin’. Every night he cries himself to sleep on his huge pilla’.”

  269. Both quotes are from A Chorus Line, Dori! Same character, Bobby. They might have cut the “P.S. Shit” line for the film, though, because they thought people outside New York wouldn’t get it. Just one reason of many that if you haven’t seen ACL on stage, you haven’t seen it, that’s how much of a horrible botch job the film was.

  270. TM, some of my best references from that fine film are visual, like the lass raising the awning of the butcher’s shop with a crank while wearing braids and a what looks like a milkmaid’s costume.

    I wish I could remember the dialogue between the police detective and the captain, too. I must watch it again, maybe I even need to own it. The last best thing that M.M. did.

  271. Nobody’s gotten this yet, so reposting with another clue:

    a. “Calling the patient by my name, he identifies with me immediately, we have an instant transference and thereby save five years of psychoanalysis.”
    “Brilliant!”
    b. “I can dance a tango, I can read Greek. I can slay a dragon any old week, easy. What’s hard is simple, what’s natural comes hard. So I’ve gotta let go, lower my guard, learn to be free…” (quoting from memory, so order may not be exact)

  272. Oh, I have so many posts to catch up on. I went to work, and you all just kept bringing the awesome.

    Let’s see if anyone shares my favorite book:

    “But I’m getting ahead of myself Fat Ozzie and Terrible Chester don’t really come into the story until after the cow explodes.”

  273. No takers on “They’re filmin’ midgets!”?

    How about another one from the same film:

    “Do I have to?”
    “No, you don’t bloody have to. It’s only the blood of Jesus Christ! Of course you don’t bloody have to!”

    And later on…

    “It’s an inanimate object.”
    “YOU’RE AN INANIMATE FUCKING OBJECT! …I’m sorry I called you an inanimate object.”

  274. There’s no way someone won’t get this on here, but the thing I say that most that NOBODY gets is …. “What happens to naughty boys who’ve been naughty, Mr. Flibble?” “Uncle Arnie fries them alive with his hex vision!”

    What’s W-O-O? WIth. Out. Oxygen!

    :)

  275. Okay, these are all from the same source:

    “Do you always drink ink?” “Only in the mating season.”

    “Have a gorilla.” “No thanks, I’m trying to give them up.”

    “He’s fallen in the water.”

    “Pauses for applause… not a sausage.”

    Oh, and one from a different source:

    “…pulls out the biggest f*cking hand cannon I’ve ever seen…”

    Bree, “I’m just a mouth on legs” is Tegan Jovanka, in “Earthshock”, one of the better Dr Who stories of the Peter Davidson era.

    Slythwolf, your two are describing Mustrum Ridcully and the architecture of Unseen University, respectively. I think they’re both from “The Last Continent”, but I’m not 100 percent sure.

    Mimbles, your first one is from “The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler of Bexhill-on-Sea”. You may therefore recognise the source of my first batch.

    Niemaodpowiedzi – your second one is the song “Anyone can Whistle” by Stephen Sondheim.

  276. Mimbles – they’re just generic Goons quotes which have stuck in my memory since the first time I read the scripts (at age 7 or 8 or thereabouts). I can’t remember which scripts they come from, although the line about the gorillas is definitely from Napoleon’s Piano. I still loved the follow-up – a request to the BBC FX section for the sound of two gorillas fighting.

    Unfortunately, while that last one definitely reminds me of Milliganism, I couldn’t place it.

  277. It’s from The International Christmas Pudding.

    When I was in Grade 5 my friends and I got hold of a book of Goon Show scripts and recorded our own version of The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler. I’m trying to remember which parts I played, I know I was Throat and Henry and I think Bloodnok too. We then played our recording to the rest of the class, no doubt to their total bemusement!

  278. @Volcanista: Can’t believe no one’s gotten The Dream Team!

    Up for grabs:
    “Good moaning.”
    “Listen very carefully: I shall say this only once.”
    “HrrhrhrhhhhrrRené! Hold me!”

  279. “Good moaning” is from ‘Allo ‘Allo isn’t it?

    The second one is the Goons again.

    How about these…

    “Don’t mention the war!”

    “He put Basil in Ratatouille?”

  280. Is that the Tick?

    It sure is! When The Tick meets his pet capybara.

    “My mother always used to say ‘Tears in a bucket, mother fuck it.’”

    I can hear this in my head and even almost see someone saying it, but it’s not coming to me. I’m gonna have to google because it’s driving me nuts.

  281. niemaodpowiedzi, Oh my Gawd i didn’t see your first post–I’ve been skimming. The first one (in your second post) is Dr. Detmold from Sondheim’s first solo musical, Anyone Can Whistle. The second is Nurse Apple in the title song.

    Since you did that, how about this:

    “Butler?”
    “Something…Subtler.”
    “Locksmith?”
    “…”

  282. Oh, and also:

    “It looks like the foothills”
    “Of what?”
    “The foothills of the headlands”

  283. “There is a great deal to be said for porcupines, Heaven. Solomon had a thousand, and Solomon knew what o’clock it was, I believe.” (book series-turned movie….although I’m sorry to say that this particular gem did not make the cut…)

  284. “Ho, rumble, rumble, rumble, Rumble drum belabored.”

    “Oh now, Debra, don’t be bitter, surely with your ever growing collection of flesh mutilating silver appendages and your brand new neo-nazi boot camp makeover the boys will come a-runnin’.”

  285. Ularians (title of the post) are from a Sherri Tepper book, right? I can see the cover, but can’t place the title – it’s the one with the aliens that eat women’s faces.

  286. Hah – hitting “Submit Comment” caused it to pop into my mind, of course: Shadow’s End, by Sherri Tepper.

  287. Only the best episode of a television show ever. Fawlty Towers. Or Farty Towels, or whatever you like to call it.

  288. Oh no, I have a dreadful feeling no one will get these, but I have to post them as long as there is a slim hope I will find kindred souls…

    -“‘Waka’?” “‘Waka’?” “…’Baka’?”
    -“I am not ready for…this ingredient. It is too Spanish.”
    -“Give me liberty, or a bran muffin!”

  289. Defiantcreatrix:

    I know what thats from but its more fun to add more quotes:

    “He’s so smart hes doesn’t even remember what he knows”

    “Or is might be one o’ them unidentified flying cupcakes!”

  290. joyousnerd, I know that’s a dwarves’ song from the Narnia series, but now I can’t remember if it’s from Prince Caspian or The Last Battle!

  291. PurpleGirl: I feel slightly dirty for sort of having a bit of a crush on Lister. Especially in the episode where he gives Rimmer his memory of Lise Yates. *is ashamed*

  292. >>Bree, “I’m just a mouth on legs” is Tegan Jovanka, in “Earthshock”, one of the better Dr Who stories of the Peter Davidson era.

    Well, yes, that’s because Adric got blown up at the end. Yay!!

    And capybara! I could not for the life of me remember what kind of critter Speak was.

  293. Well, shit, I was leaving the Pulp Fiction alone because it seemed too easy, but if there’s an actual, real prize then I want it!

    Linz, YOU WIN! The prize is a free month’s subscription to instantchess.com. If you still want it, email me at minerva.koenig at sbcglobal.net and I’ll send it to you. I know not everybody loves chess, but I do.

    Love, Minerva

  294. Oh no, I missed this thread!

    How about these (the first two from the same thing)?

    “Food courts… of the future!”

    “Two kinds of plaid? Boy, I’m a naked robot, ____, and even I know that’s a fashion no-no.”

    “I write this sitting in the kitchen sink”

    Lately my boyfriend and I have been saying this a lot:
    “God DAMN these electric sex pants!”

  295. wiscck:

    “And that’s why we Lutherans use Grape Kool-Aid for the blood of Christ.”
    Drop Dead Gorgeous!

    “I think JFK’s a sweet potato. I’d have relations with him outside of marriage.”
    Shag! Love that movie!!!

    Yay for Last Unicorn and Pratchett love! I feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

    OK, here’s mine, and it is SUPER obscure, so if you get it, you are my new best friend. Hint: It’s from a song.
    “And all that the ground people heard was ‘Oh, for the life of a bird.'”

  296. Because this thread is TOTALLY INSANELY only one comment away from 600, I will add: “Man goes into cage. Cage goes into salsa. Shark’s in the salsa. Our shark.”

    Even though it is obvious.

    Also, “YOU REMIND ME OF A SMALL MEXICAN CHIWOW-WOW.”

  297. A guess for The Bald Soprano waaaay up thread…

    “I’m so slippery that when the cops finally caught up with me, there was only one thing they could do. They made me a cop.”

    Would this perchance be The Stainless Steel Rat? Sorry I can’t specify which book, my brain only works so well.

  298. I’m late, but I’m loving this thread.

    Sidian – is the ‘inch’ from V for Vendetta?

    These are probably eminently guessable, but what the heck, they’re what’s in my head:

    “Well, let’s see. First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di’s clothes. I couldn’t believe it. ”

    “I know from long experience that my men have all the artistic talent of a cluster of color-blind hedgehogs… in a bag. ”

    “Have you ever spent days and days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no one’s ever eaten before? Like chicken and telephone ice cream?”

    “I’ve got a Porsche!”
    “Well, that’s not the right answer…but I know your father.”

  299. So, I’m a few days from Friday, but you guys have tons of info in your brains. Kind of amazing actually. I’m only good for lots of Fight Club quotes, and Moonstruck…esp the I ain’t no freaking monument to justice, and old man, feed those dogs one more piece of my food….but, I think the quote of the year should be, “You trust government with guns and nuclear weapons, but not to hand out cheese to the poor people?!?”

    AND is this…..“That boulder is too large. I could lift a smaller one.”

    I’ll give y’all a hint. It’s from the same thing as this one:

    “Lift with the legs, Hercules!!”

    Princess Bride– Andre the Giant?

  300. I don’t think anyone’s guessed the thread title. It’s from the radio play version of Hitchhiker’s Guide. The announcer, at the end of one episode, stated that Zaphod was currently appearing in No Sex Please, We’re Amoeboid Zingat-Ularians.

    Paraphrased, I’m afraid:

    1) “One can hardly refuse to wade knee-deep in sewage when one’s lord is obliged to wade knee-deeper.”

    2) “Do we want to talk about why I just got hit in the head with a thumb?”
    “Nah.”

    3) “______ do not argue for a reason, they just argue.”

    @Emerald:

    “Well, let’s see. First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di’s clothes. I couldn’t believe it. ”

    I want to say the Doctor, but I think I can more reliably say that someone just demanded, quite rashly, “Tell me everything you know,” or “Start at the beginning,” or some such foolhardy thing.

  301. (1) is the Vorkosigan guard after Miles was dumped by his girlfriend and came over all, well, Milesian. Nice blocked sewer, just what he needed. Were they blocked with bug butter? I think it was Roic, the one who er with Taura.

  302. Coco right upthread – that’s one of my favourite quotes too! And here’s another of my favourites from the same source:

    X: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs…
    Y: Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth…

  303. “Well, let’s see. First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di’s clothes. I couldn’t believe it. ”

    Johnny from Airplane. IMHO the funniest movie ever made. Not everyone agrees with me.

  304. Okay, it’s been a day and no one has guessed, so I’m going to start adding quotes.

    “Every day, once a day, give yourself a present.” (I want to continue that one, but I’ll stop there. :) )

    “Sometimes I feel so flushed. It’s interesting”

    Man, I feel like every one I think of is just going to be WAY too easy. And also they are all my favorites.

  305. Oh my goodness! I know this thread is a couple days old, but I just have to contribute something to it and see if anyone gets it.

    “It’s a carwash, ladies and gentlemen!”

  306. Johnny from Airplane. IMHO the funniest movie ever made. Not everyone agrees with me.

    Indeed, Airplane II. And for me, the entire Airplane series comes a joint second to the movie from which this is a classic line:

    “You’ve all got to work it out for yourselves!”
    “Yes! We have all got to work it out for ourselves…..Tell us more!”

  307. emilymorgan quoted Noises Off and is now my favourite person in the world.

    Ah, that show makes me weep for joy.

    Sidian: “An inch. It’s small and it’s fragile and it’s the only thing in the world worth having.”

    V for Vendetta!

  308. I’m a bit late, but…

    “I know from long experience that my men have all the artistic talent of a cluster of color-blind hedgehogs… in a bag. ”

    “Have you ever spent days and days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no one’s ever eaten before? Like chicken and telephone ice cream?”

    “I’ve got a Porsche!”
    “Well, that’s not the right answer…but I know your father.”

    First one is Blackadder, I think? Sounds like it, anyway.

    Second is The Sandman, and the fact that you quoted it makes me love you. Forever.

    Third… I know it’s from a fake episode of University Challenge, but have no idea from where. :(

Comments are closed.