In Which I Am Humorless

Cute Overload has pissed me off, people. CUTE OVERLOAD.

In today’s post “Bunnaloons or Cataloons?” we have a series of pictures of adorable fuzzy pets whose back legs sorta look like pants. And the comments on each picture, accordingly, are meant to read like fashion suggestions.

Among those suggestions:

  • “Next up, if you’re looking for two-toned and slimming…”
  • “For the fuller figure, (though we don’t recommend white) try a skirt.”
  • “Skinny with an active lifestyle? Choose this Velveteen number to give you curves! Ow!”
  • “And finally, don’t forget, orange arm bangles do wonders for concealing a pear-shape…”

I realize that when you’re parodying fashion magazines, talking about “figure flaws” is the obvious first step. And I really want to find this funny. But I don’t. All I can think is, could I please have ONE FUCKING PLACE on the internet where there’s no body-hating talk? Is CUTE OVERLOAD seriously not even safe anymore?

It’s that kind of day.

Posted in Fat

21 thoughts on “In Which I Am Humorless

  1. I hate what the modern world has become.

    No place is 100% safe. People are a hateful lot, even when they’re not intending to be actively hateful, they’ve been conditioned to go there.

    I’m having a pessimistic, stabby day, too.

  2. ((((Kate))))

    I’m having that kind of week too. When the thread’s a little longer I’ll complain about the shitty week and a half I’ve had. For now, though: dude, I totally get it. PBS isn’t safe either, and that makes me cry.

    BUT! This will make your day, maybe. Today I drove by the strip mall where I used to attend Weight Watchers meetings. It’s GONE! The Weight Watchers indoctrination and punishment center, I mean. In its place? A sub sandwich shop and a video game store!

    SUB SANDWICHES AND VIDEO GAMES ARE TAKING OVER THE WORRRRLD!!!! OMG OMG FATTIES SITTING ON THEIR COUCHES AND EATING SANDWICHES AND NO WEIGHT WATCHERS AND WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

    Seriously, I love that. Buh-bye, perky Weight Watchers leaders. Sorry I wasn’t willing to spend the rest of my life assigning numerical values to everything I ingest. OH WAIT no I’m not.

  3. (((Everyone))) It’s just been that kinda week, hasn’t it? I’ve had to work late (and will have to) every day this week but one, I just got over the cold from hell but now I have another cold (not a bad one, thank God), I’m just generally bummed. And we’ve been having overcast weather with spitting rain (at least it’s not snow) so that hasn’t helped much. Nothing too awful just a kind of crappy last few weeks. But! at least Obama won which gives me a little lift every time I think about it. And some of the bits and pieces I’m seeing about possible policies sound pretty good too so that’s something that makes me feel better. Hope things get better for y’all too!

  4. Today I drove by the strip mall where I used to attend Weight Watchers meetings. It’s GONE! The Weight Watchers indoctrination and punishment center, I mean. In its place? A sub sandwich shop and a video game store!

    Guys, I think we have just been given out newest fatty recruitment and world domination plan. We need to sneak into positions of power and replace all WW sites with sub sandwich/video game shops.

    This is the most brilliant plan I have ever had.

    (Are the subs and the games IN THE SAME STORE? Because if so, that is the most awe inspiring store I have ever heard of.

    Also, now I really want a sub sandwich.)

  5. Poking my head out of dissertation-due-in-two-days land to say, yup, one shitty week, and that CO post just made me roll my eyes in annoyance and close the page.

  6. Time-Machine, is your idea that we would slowly buy up real estate so that we are the owners of the strip malls that Weight Watchers wants to meet in? And then we’d kick them out? I could dig that.

  7. Time-Machine, is your idea that we would slowly buy up real estate so that we are the owners of the strip malls that Weight Watchers wants to meet in? And then we’d kick them out? I could dig that.

    Yes. Basically.

    Also, we offer sub sandwiches and video games to all the Weight Watchers members instead, as long as the promise not to count points on the sandwiches.

    We could have great big anti-dieting Guitar Hero competitions.

  8. On the way to the Target I go to, there’s a Curves next to a Papa John’s and a Blockbuster. I would love to know which business was there first.

  9. I love cute overload. i can’t hate it for pardoying fashion magazines. It also hasn’t been ‘one of those weeks’ for me. In addition, I know a street where there’s a curves, literally, OVER a Cold Stone.

  10. It has SO been one of those weeks, and while I am not a big fan of the Cute Overload action….that does boggle the damn mind. Surely we can let the kitties and puppies just fucking BE?!

  11. Business-to-business marketing in the high-tech sector rarely has anything to do with body hate.

    In theory, neither does providing field engineering support to a major construction project, and yet…

  12. Here’s something positive that might cheer you up a little.

    I, along with three of my colleagues, started exercise classes this week. We work for local government at the main office and there is a workout room available that has an instructor charging very low fees for classes.

    I was really apprehensive beforehand because I didn’t know what to expect (how would my unfit fat self be accepted?).

    Well…so far its been fantastic! The instructor is a friendly, encouraging man who treats everyone with respect and consideration. Everyone in the class is supportive and non-judgemental. There is a mix of body types and fitness levels. Beginners are encouraged to do as much as they can but “don’t stress yourself out because we want you back”.

    The atmosphere in the changing rooms is easy and friendly, with women off all body types walking around naked without a care in the world. Its great! I’ve been to gym before but never have I had such a positive experience.

    So there are some nice people left in the world. :-)

  13. I work in a small office. Three of us — all women — work in one room together and one of us is new to the office. The newest one started ragging on her looks — oh, I’m so fat, oh I have to loose weight, oh I have to diet — and our other office mate and I (both of us fat) very politely told her that beauty comes in many shapes and many weights and all dieting would do would be to screw her up in the long term even if she lost weight in the short term. That we didn’t want to hear her ragging on herself because it hurts everybody — her and us. That she is lovely as she is and if she gains weight or if she looses weight she will still be lovely.

    My other coworker and I have always encouraged each other when we feel bad but to have an office culture come out in favor of “no diet talk” — well, that’s a step forward, isn’t it?

  14. Katia, I think that is wonderful! It seems like it’s usually the other way so how great that you-all are encouraging her to love herself as she is.

  15. No. Nowhere is safe.

    On Scrubs reruns they repeatedly mention how JD has banged fat girls in the past. Because, you know, he’s such a nerd he could only get teh fattyz and not teh hott chix.

    There are others. Can’t think of any others now.

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