Read ‘Em

Bake sales fall victim to push for healthier foods. I will likely be writing a long, ranty post about this either here or for Broadsheet later today. In the meantime: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (Sample scream trigger: “In Berkeley, Anna X. L. Wong, a kindergarten teacher at Jefferson Elementary, incorporates “good foods” versus “bad foods” into the curriculum…”)

Magazines trash men’s body image, too — and female models are still the culprits. Only seems to apply to straight men, and I have no idea how large the sample size was (the study will be published in Human Communication Research soon, but right now, we’ve just got an article based on the press release), but it’s interesting. 

And if you missed this last week, check out the study that showed fat women have more sex than “normal” weight women

The study used existing data gathered by the National Survey of Family Growth, and focused on heterosexual, penetrative sexual encounters that could potentially lead to pregnancies or disease transmission. Nearly 8,000 women were involved in the survey.[Prof. Marie] Harvey admitted that she had preconceived notions about women’s weight negatively affecting their sexual encounters, in part based on previous studies which suggested obese women were more impaired in sexual function and quality.

However, the new data clearly revealed that larger body mass does not lower sexual activity. Data revealed that 92 percent of overweight women reported having intercourse with men, while 87 percent of women with normal body mass said the same.

Fat women everywhere: No doy.

Kudos to Harvey for admitting to the preconceived notions, at least. But ouch ouch ouch to this: 

“It goes to the need to approach every woman as you provide prevention programs and services,” Harvey said, “to understand that all women are potentially sexually active.”

Everyone who’s already blogged about this study has said it already, but once more with feeling: We needed a fucking study to show that doctors should give fat women information about pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases? Prior to the study, it was just okay to assume that fat women didn’t need sexual health info, since nobody wants to fuck a fatty? Gah.

42 thoughts on “Read ‘Em

  1. Yea the thing about doctors both pissed me off and affirmed that I’m not out of my mind. In the doctor’s office a few years ago going through the usual list of questions before my checkup he got to the sexual history/health part and the way he looked at me when he asked if I’m sexually active was like he was expecting me to say no then looked shocked when I said yes. My friends thought I was reading too much into it but now I know I probably wasn’t. Ugh.

    Good food/bad foods? WTF??? We teach our kids to make good food choices but nothing is “bad” just things that we should eat in moderation. And in kindergarten no less? Again, ugh.

  2. Fucking Berkeley. That figures. It’s the only place I’ve lived that makes me feel like a right winger. Mayor and city council worrying about solar panels and climate change (which are worth worrying about), while ignoring open air drug dealing, frequent gunshots, rising murder rate, and increasing strong arm robbery. But I guess that’s what we get if we’re living in the flats. Berkeley is two cities, really, and they seem not to interact, or even notice each other. When somebody gets shot where my house is, the cops drive through there occasionally for about two days, then they stop. It’s more pleasant to hassle a bicyclist without a light than a group of thugs up to no good.

    Sorry, obviously I have issues with Berkeley. As for the bake sales, I’m not reading the article because I’m not registered for NYT, but that’s about the stupidest stuff I’ve ever heard. Maybe they’ll just sell crack, it’s obviously quite popular in my ‘hood.

  3. To the first: Wow…way to encourage healthy eating habits and a good relationship with food.

    Let’s make fat & sugar OFF-LIMITS. People won’t eat them, and everyone will be magically healthy. We know it will work because no one drank alcohol during Prohibition.

  4. A reader comment at the second story brought up a good point: What period of time are we talking here? Lifelong? A year?

    I also want to know if the study only talked to single women or whether partnered women were included. And I’m a little worried whether that study will spin into the “fat girls are easy” stereotype.

  5. maewyn, I’ve already seen that happening on various blogs. Even when it isn’t spun negatively, it’s spun as “well, a person who has a large appetite for food probably WOULD have a large appetite for other things.”

    Which just makes me hurl.

  6. how is that study even defining ‘normal’ and ‘overweight’? because a bmi of 25 doesn’t exactly make someone fat.

  7. I guess being a fat woman, I don’t understand why people are so astonished to hear that fat people do have sex. Kids of fat people just don’t magically appear from thin air or are always from adoption, ya know? I don’t buy into the fat girls are easy stereotype either—if anything, I think people of size would be more choosier when it comes to romantic partners due to so much hostility over our appearance.

    As for banning bake sales, well that’s just downright dumb. First of all, not everyone does them, so it’s not like they’re always going on. Second, bake sales are easy and cheap. Not everyone can afford to purchase healthier food products to substitute. Third, banning all sweets from schools and assigning moral value to food is not a very efficient and healthy way to teach kids and teenagers about nutrition. It is not the schools’ job to be the food police.

  8. The study doesn’t actually say fat women have more sex.

    From the study abstract:

    Body mass index was not significantly associated with sexual orientation, age at first intercourse, frequency of heterosexual intercourse, and the number of lifetime or current male partners. Overweight women and obese women were more likely to report ever having male sexual intercourse (P<.001). This difference persisted when we adjusted for age as well as type of residence.

    This is actually a really confusing result to me because if fat women aren’t less likely to be lesbians nor more likely to have a lower age of first intercourse, why would they be more likely to have ever had male sexual intercourse? That aside though, the actual result of the study is that fat women are having the same amount of sex as thin women.

  9. This is actually a really confusing result to me because if fat women aren’t less likely to be lesbians nor more likely to have a lower age of first intercourse, why would they be more likely to have ever had male sexual intercourse?

    My two guesses are because (a) women tend to weigh more after they’ve been pregnant (and did they exclude pregnant women from the study?), which carries a very high probability of having had heterosexual intercourse, and (b) birth control tends to make women gain weight.

    Not that we’d want to talk about any of that because that might imply that those women aren’t fat 100% because of their own laziness. OMG, license to eat donuts!

  10. TR, I totally missed the fact that you already posted about this! Saw the post in my reader but didn’t click because I thought a post titled S-E-X stood a good chance of not being worksafe.

    Anyway: Yes. Sad that people are already starting to understand the study’s findings through a different stereotype of fatties, rather than thinking “Oh, so fatties are normal too.”

    Read the article about the bake sales now — I’m glad someone mentioned moderation (personally, I’m not a fan of soda and candy/chips vending machines in schools), but also sad that it seems to mean that cookies are only OK if you demonize them and then feel bad about eating them. *headdesk*

  11. I wonder if there has been an increase in the number of kids bringing lunches from home.

    I also feel sorta sad for an entire generation of kids who don’t know the pleasure of sharing cupcakes with their friends on their birthdays. I have lovely memories of baking and decorating my cupcakes with my Mom, too.

  12. Okay, this made me really upset:

    “I don’t think all celebrations need to be around food,” said Ann Cooper, the director of nutrition services for the Berkeley school district. “We need to get past the mentality of food used for punishment or praise.”

    First . . . I have to say, celebrations without food would be very empty celebrations indeed! If Christmas didn’t involve a celebration of my mom’s culinary abilities, it would last all of 10 minutes. To me the holidays are all about enjoying a great meal with family that I don’t get to see much anymore. What are we supposed to do as we sit around the table and talk? Get wasted? Ohnoez, but alcohol has TEH CALORIEZ. Well, I guess I should just sleep through the holiday, then.

    Second, how does the part about food being used for punishment or praise have anything to do with birthdays? “You went another year without dying, Susie! For all that hard work, have a cupcake!” Does not compute.

  13. One of the schools I worked at was on the “healthy” kick, no trans fats, no sugars, organic this and whole-whatever that. Milk options dropped from 2%, 1%, skim, and 2% chocolate to 1% and skim only. Snacks at recess are now left uneaten more often than not because no one, from the energetic K’s to the growth-spurting teens, will eat the nasty things they’ve brought in to replace the old snacks, like an “organic” version of goldfish, and flavored rice cakes — but sugar-free, of course, so artificially flavored. About the only things anyone will still eat are the saltines.

    Lunches have gotten downright vile. The trouble is that rather than cooking healthy meals with healthy ingredients, they’ve tried to re-create “kid favorites” like pizza, mac & cheese, hot dogs, etc, with “healthy” substitutes. So it’s low-fat cheese and crushed tomatoes on whole-wheat crackers, whole-wheat noodles baked with low-sodium, low-fat cheese sprinkles, tofu dogs, etc.

    The kids usually manage to eat something, out of sheer hunger. A great many of the faculty are down to eating off the salad bar, which at least usually has identifiable foods. What’s particularly telling is how even the faculty most concerned about healthy diet and exercise dodge the school lunch whenever possible. This isn’t instilling healthy eating habits. This is food policing.

    As for banning bake sales — moderation in all things. Even the ‘new’ Cookie Monster gets it — “cookies are a sometimes food.” Not a “never food.”

  14. Well, the bake-sale-banning BS may be ridiculous, but what really shocked me are the comments–by & large, they’re actually GOOD! There are a LOT of people agreeing that labeling foods good/bad is a crappy idea, and quite a few also think all the extreme ohmygodsweetsaresobaaaaad!!! rhetoric is crazy & harmful. Halle-freakin-lujah!

  15. “I wonder if there has been an increase in the number of kids bringing lunches from home.”

    Interestingly, when Jamie Oliver started his healthy-food-in-schools campaign, he noticed that a lot of kids DID bring the old potato chips, etc. from home. As they adjusted to the healthier foods, this did generally stop…but there were the die-hards whose parents “smuggled” in their fish ‘n chips.

    That said, I applaud the idea of serving locally-grown, “healthy” school meals that are also delicious and appealing…but I also think that desserts can be a perfectly reasonable part of a healthy diet. The notion that having a bake sale is somehow fueling the so-called obesity epidemic is laughable. I am fat…I sure as heck didn’t become fat because of bake sales in school (or even that horror of horrors, CANDYGRAMS!).

  16. earlgreyrooibos, I didn’t like that either. I agree that using food as reward or punishment probably teaches disordered eating habits, but what does that have to do with using food for celebration? Feasting has been a way of celebrating since the beginning of recorded human history – we’re really going to take that away because a cupcake once a month might make children OMG fat?

  17. There should be healthy foods for kids, but to me, that means fresh and local and in-season – organic processed food isn’t much better than factory processed food, and it often tastes worse, due to lower sodium and fat content – way to teach kids to hate food.

    I agree that not *every* celebration needs to be around food. But food can really cement community and bonding in ways that I’m only beginning to understand. There are alternatives, but I’m not sure giving the kids booze or pot would go over well. ( . . . not that I’ve ever bonded with anyone over pot . . . because that’s illegal.)

  18. Wait, I didn’t mean to put “may” in my comment–the bake sale banning IS ridiculous!!! (Also, there definitely are some obnoxious comments, and the reigning belief is definitely that being fat is a serious problem, but still–I think the comments are a lot saner than most I’ve seen on articles like this.)

  19. Ack. I am totally opposed to good food/bad food rhetoric and I wish I didn’t usually feel so lonely in this belief. And I agree with earlgreyrooibos that there is nothing inherently wrong with celebrations including or being centered around food. That is a tradition as old as time. I think it’s a good thing.

    And I had no idea things were this bad: “to understand that all women are potentially sexually active.” I am flabbergasted.

  20. Becky and Anita, I agree that food really is important for celebrations (and not in a “reward” kind of way). Sharing a meal is vital to some kinds of social bonds. You can make those bonds in other ways, but not as quickly or as firmly, and you have to consciously create those ways to substitute for sharing food. Much easier to let the kids have some damn cupcakes on birthdays or — how ’bout this? — let the birthday kid or kid’s parent decide how to celebrate the kid’s birthday. He/she wants to bring in cupcakes for everybody? Do it. He/she wants to hand out pencils? Lovely. He/she wants to bring in organic farm-raised hormone-free low-sodium unbleached free-range unwaxed read-stories-at-bedtime granola bars made with hemp and sunshine? More power to him/her.

    The food police needs to back the hell off.

  21. OMFG YES about that ‘good’ foods vs ‘bad’ foods thing. I HATE that my hometown is spewing this shit, but I’m also not totally surprised. I ended up getting sucked into a mini-daydream about how I would (will?) deal with this when I have kids in school, since I cannot fucking stomach the thought of them injecting morality into food and nutrition this way. I keep getting hung up on the fact that as a very fat woman, I would likely end up confirming many prejudices and not necc. improving anything without a long, policy based fight. :/

    The article at least had some sense from a few nutritionists who were wary about the fact that they weren’t advocating balance and moderation, but those folks seem to be in the minority. I keep on being reminded of the fact that a lot of this shit really seems to stem from people’s fear of the uncontrollable – ‘if we eat ‘right’, then we’ll never get sick and will die peacefully in our sleep at 110 after living a deeply fulfilled life!’ That’s the only rationale I’ve seen for the all or nothing approach some of these policies are pushing.

    I respect the hell out of teachers, and admire the fact that they end up teaching such a wide breadth of topics to their students. But for something as loaded as nutrition, body image and eating, that kindergarten teacher’s ignorance is fucking dangerous, and she’s not alone.

  22. I don’t mind the idea of not having food for every celebration at schools. We didn’t do it very often when I was a kid, but when my son was in school it seemed like almost every week they were celebrating with cookies, candy or chips and soda in class. My son gets hyper when he eats artificial colors and flavors, so I did not love all the celebratory food. Not only that, but with all the food allergies kids have, there were always a few kids left out- which stunk for them.

    But telling kids what they can bring in their lunch from home and only allowing skim milk (which has got to be the most disgusting drink on earth) is too extreme. I felt sorry for the kids in that school where they had to sell half brats and non dairy diet rootbeer floats for their International food fundraiser in order to meet the required limits for fat and sugar allowed in their school’s food! That’s just sad. It also pissed me off. How about schools teaching academics and let parents worry about what to feed their kids. How about that? This kind of bullshit makes me glad we homeschool.

  23. I don’t get that second article… so straight men simultaneously love and hate their Playboy, Hustlers, and Maxims? They love ogling women, but then those same women make them feel bad about themselves. Why doesn’t this apply to women? Why doesn’t me seeing, IDK, Matt Damon make me feel guilty about myself? I think this might need more study…

  24. Becky, you’re right about the study – it was misleadingly titled. It should have said that more fat women have had heterosex, not that fat women have more heterosex. I hate sloppy science reportage.

    Actually, this blog is one of the sites that got me really interested in reading science reportage critically. I even include a science reportage topic in one of my analytical research assignments for college composition now… although I find it’s one of the most difficult topics for students to do. They tend to enter it with a high level of interest, but reading “science” like a text makes their brains hurt.

  25. I don’t really know what to think on the whole kid’s nutrition/snack food/good foods/ bad foods thing. on the one hand, i think characterizing foods as “good” or “bad” is really harmful. on the other hand, i think it’s appropriate to teach kindergarten-age kids about balanced nutrition in an age appropriate way; teaching kids that it’s important to eat fruits and vegetables, to eat different [natural] colors of food. i think it’s fine/beneficial to tell kids that if they eat cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, it won’t help their bodies grow strong – and for that matter, eating broccoli for breakfast, lunch, and dinner won’t help them go strong either.

    i’m also okay with eliminating trans-fats from schools, and limiting the amounts of high sugar/ high fat/ low-nutritional value foods available – not none, but sometimes schools provide snacks for kids. I’d rather see milk & 100% juice as beverages (instead of sugar-water beverages), and see cheese/crackers/vegetables/fruits/etc most days, and things like cookies and potato chips only some of the time.

    i think there’s a middle ground where kids can be taught to enjoy lots of kinds of food, and taught that bodies need certain foods to grow strong, and that eating those foods can be enjoyable. i think that can be done without demonizing other foods.

  26. Oh, jeez, yeah, my dad told me about the bake sale thing when I was on the phone with him earlier today. It surprisingly led to a good discussion about weight politics, when he’s normally unwilling to do so, since over the years he’s been “concerned about my weight” more times than I can count, though he’s gotten more silent on it in recent years, probably because he was tired of trying, or some such thing, but I like to think it’s because me telling him that I was fine with myself got through to him.

  27. Okay, here’s what ticks me off about the male body image article. I read a different write-up (on yahoo, I think), but it pissed me off. Honestly, if men feel bad about their bodies after looking at buff, idealized men, I get that and it sucks. HOWEVER, what I read was that they felt bad about themselves after viewing sexualized women b/c OHMYGOD they might not be able to get that woman. Guess what? I just can’t get behind anyone being upset that they can’t get the “perfect” partner/hook-up. What we need to do is show more “normal” and not-so-“normal” bodies in the media – fat people, people with disabilities, non-whites, and so on. I know, I live in fairy fairy happy land, but that’s what I want.

    I haven’t even read the other articles because I just can’t handle being any more pissed off right now.

  28. I started writing a comment and it got really long with more TMI than y’all needed, so here.

    And WORD on the bake sale crap. I made the first batch of Christmas cookies tonight (I’ll be recovering from surgery in early December and I want to get ahead and freeze things now so I won’t have to cook then). Food is an integral part of our family celebrations. It’s not the only part (decorating the tree together, eating dinner by candlelight, etc.) but my holidays would be poorer without the food-related traditions.

    DRST

  29. LS – also, that kind of “healthy” school food policy doesn’t instill healthy eating habits. It’s teaching at least some of these children that healthy food is gross and can’t be fun or taste good.

  30. I understand the virtues of teaching children to eat healthily, but I just don’t think the time to do it is when they have better things to be learning, are often not in control of what their parents choose to feed them, and can’t understand what the teacher means. I know the intentions are good, but really… I think the time to teach nutrition is when they’re 13-14 and can understand the concept of vitamins and moderation and exercise… little kids are more prone to seeing “good” and “bad” and categorizing everything that way. This is just too black and white for my taste.

    Also, and this is probably just an extension of the fact that I was already having “eating disordered thoughts” in kindergarten, but I can just picture a six year old refusing to eat birthday cake because her teacher told her cake is a “bad” food. And that makes me so angry.

    I also wondered if any of the kids in the class would associate this lesson with the fact that the teacher is thin. Like, she’s really thin. So if they listen to her, they might get that skinny too! It’s the kind of thing that would have occurred to me at age 6, but I was a weird child.

    I can just imagine kids having to hide cake from their friends…. like “Ms. Smith said that’s a bad food, I don’t want my friends to know that I’m having a bad food, so I’ll just eat it secretly and not tell them.”

    Expect a resurgence in the number of patients in eating disorder clinics in oh, about ten years, if this becomes the prevailing logic throughout the American education system.

  31. Vancouver (and I think all of our province) outlawed bake sales last year.
    Drives me nuts. Now instead of being able to do a Christmas baking fill up to spend money at my kid’s school, I’m supposed to buy endless landfill-destined durable goods? Piss off.

  32. Somehow I missed that memo about no one wanting to fuck a fatty…

    Anyhoo…I’m all for teaching kids healthy eating habits, but I must say…UP DOIN IT RONG. Besides, there’s nothing like an ill-shaped, over-frosted, lumpy 25-cent cookie from a bake sale. Nuttin’

  33. Re: Bake Sales:

    Where is the American pleasure gene? We always view everything through a “medicinal” viewpoint. We view exercise as medicine, food as medicine even sex as medicine(it will make you live longer!). Whatever happened to doing things for the pleasure of it. It is no wonder why we have such a twisted relationship with food and exercise and sex, because we forgot to just stop and enjoy it. To be quite honest I sometimes have debated taking up smoking just to have a good vice under my belt(I know I am crazy). I think sometimes we might be a happier country if we let ourselves have a few more vices. Life is too short to worry about bake sale cookies!

  34. emi, the problem is that there’s basically no evidence that the things you list as being okay to eliminate/discourage are really any less healthy than other foods. I definitely agree that kids should be shown and encouraged to eat a variety of foods. But sugars? fats? Those are nutrients, and thus, high-fat, high-sugar foods are by definition nutritious. Same with sugary drinks – sugars are nutrients. Most kids do need and burn sugars, and growing bodies need lots of fats (as with everything, barring allergies, food intolerances, etc.). Most of us were not damaged by eating sugars (and loads of sugary drinks) as kids, as far as anyone can tell.

    But yeah, I’m with everyone on the whole encourage-variety-in-food-and-stop-policing-shit thing. Also, man, now I wish I were fatter, because I’d totally get more ass.

  35. As my kids have passed through school in a town near Berkeley and with some of the same freakishness about food, I’ve been lectured by other parents for allowing my girls to have peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. I’ve watched as other children bringing lunch to school have had parts taken away for being ‘inappropriate’ food. I’ve watched as the teachers are told there are to be no parties at all for any reason in classes. I don’t think it’s right or proper for the school to police home-brought lunches in any way. Is this not invasion of privacy?

    The worst so far was at my special ed daughter’s annual conference. I have twin daughters in high school now and one is thin (who gets called anorexic although she’s not) and one is fat (who gets called the usual fat stuff). The fatter one is the special ed girl and she is also a girl who absolutely eats very well. She loves veggies and fruit juice and all sorts of ‘good’ foods, yet because of her health issues that made her a special ed student in the first place she’s got a messed up metabolism.

    So as I explain all this to the Jr. High PE teachers, I watch as their faces go blank and when I am finished explaining that her fatness is not inherent in poor eating habits, they start up again, chastising me for teaching and allowing her poor eating habits, for not putting up a treadmill for her to walk on 12 hours a day and that she will have diabetes by 20 because of junk food and my poor parenting and by the way she’s terrible at PE and if only she wasn’t fat all her troubles would magically go away. And no she can’t be in special ed PE because her only problem is she’s FAT and that’s all your fault you horrible little parent.

    And that includes her bad balance sprung from almost constant ear infections as a wee one but probably caused by fatness but was really caused by a cleft palate.

    She’s not good at PE… oh my god… end of the world. Thankfully she has gone on to high school now and so far the PE teachers there are much less into Basic Training. They called ME and asked if she could be in adaptive PE as it was slower and she’d enjoy it more and I thanked them heartily for understanding finally!

    And yes, I agree that America (at least California) is definitely on the fast track down the ‘All pleasures are EVIL’ slope. We’re not allowed to enjoy anything at all.

  36. Was my elementary school really strange in that parents never, ever brought in cupcakes for birthdays? I think it’s really odd that that class is routinely stopped to hand out treats for such individual celebrations.

  37. Rina: I agree with you that younger children will hear “good” food and “bad” food, but I don’t think that problem ends with age. All sorts of nutrients are sold to adults as good or bad, for example, rather than referring to cholesterol as high density/low/density…it’s good and bad. Marketing is easier when you keep it simple, and the fact that nutrition is such a money industry means it is larded through with marketing, and school (not to sound like a conspiracy theorist) is the first step to teaching people to jump like good little consumers.

  38. volcanista, I respectfully disagree with the idea that sugar-water drinks and foods like potato chips are nutritionally equivalent to/equally healthy as 100% juice and cheese and crackers. Apple juice and kool-aid may have similar macronutrients (all sugars), as do chips & cheese/crackers (carbs/fat) – and i agree that there is no intrinsic problem with sugars/carbs/fats – all are needed for healthy bodies. However, kool-aid (or soda, etc) provides just sugars, whereas apple juice provides sugars along with vitamin C and whatever other good things are in apples.

    and i do think it’s fine for kids to have less-nutritious foods some of the time. however, i think that nutrient-dense foods are important for health. If kids (or anyone!) get TOO high a proportion of their intake from foods like chips, cookies, etc, they won’t get enough nutrient dense foods to remain healthy. How high is too high is, of course, arguable.

  39. I wonder if the difference in reported rates of heterosexual intercourse is statistically significant? Because if it is, we could be looking at a possible slight connection between being straight and being fat. Which I personally would find kind of interesting.

  40. Sadly, I’m not at all surprised about the bake sale banning. We are not a people good at nuance. If some folks have issues about certain foods, then it turns into “everyone must be PROTECTED from those foods from their own good.” (Like Prohibition, which we all know worked SO well).

    I’m a college prof, and we are using a new non-majors bio textbook this year. An “issues oriented” one. I didn’t choose it and I hate it with the intensity of a thousand flaming suns because EVERY chapter has this “issue” in it that is about how badly messed up we are. The “nutrition” chapter was just horrible; I hope I didn’t have any eating-disordered students in my class because *I* found the chapter “triggering” and *I* don’t have a disorder…

    I wish we could just SHUT UP about “good foods” vs. “bad foods” and “obesity crisis” and all that damn stuff for a WEEK. Just a stinking week. I’m already bracing myself for the OMG do you know how many calories are in that Thanksgiving dinner “news” stories.

    I’m even sick of hearing about “moderation” because all too often it seems to be a code word for “Deny yourself anything you enjoy.”

  41. I’m not surprised to hear this type of study is being done. I teach a college level human sexuality course, and I’ve reviewed all of the major publishers’ textbooks. They are very careful to include photographs and drawings of people of all ethnicities, ages, and sexual orientations engaged in sexual activities. But, there is not one image of a fat person in any of those textbooks. Not one. Because who would have sex with a fat person, right? Nor do fat people masturbate, I suppose.

    I guess it’s time to contact the publishers…

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