Friday fluff: Great ideas

After talking about the delightful time I just had waiting a long time in line in the pet store (they gave me a teensy puppy to hold while they fixed the credit card thingy), FJ and I have come up with a brilliant idea: have a baby-animal-fun-time area near checkout stations at stores, voting booths, and (wait for it) the DMV. No one would get grumpy waiting in line, and if the animals were rescues, surely they would all get adopted very quickly. Win-win!

What’s your brilliant idea? Bonus points if it’s crazy enough that it JUST MIGHT WORK!

73 thoughts on “Friday fluff: Great ideas

  1. I think DMVs need to band together to create a mandatory vanity plate registration website. Before you’re allowed to get a vanity plate you need to register an explanation of it that will be searchable to anyone who sees it on the road. And, it needs to be formatted in such a way that it’s easily browsable on cell phones.

  2. But, I would forgo even knowing what people’s vanity plates mean to have puppies by checkout lines. Brilliant!

  3. Sounds delightful, although lots of people have cat and dog allergies. I saw a friend of mine have an allergy attack after being at a house with a cat once, and it was really scary — and his allergy is mild. It really has the potential to backfire.

  4. Cars that run on smugness.

    *Male* parents also being required to show that they are fathering “the way their bodies were DESIGNED to,” whatever the hell that means, for fear of public shame and insinuations of being Selfish! Haters! Of! Children! Who! Care! Only! About! Their! Own! Convenience! My! God! Can’t! You! Put! Yourself! Second! For! Once!?

    Fines for frequent phlegm-hacking-up in otherwise-quiet cafes where some people are trying to work on job applications!

    Dissertating graduate students get a one-time no-retaliation chance to push a button on a remote control device, and send their advisers plummeting through a trapdoor into a dungeon full of elementary school lunchroom spaghetti.

    Sorry, I think I’m in a worse mood than everyone else. Quick! Hand me a kitten!

  5. I love the idea of puppies at places with long lines! A friend of mine had a similar idea with a kittenmobile, like a bookmobile but with kittens you could play with. I would prefer a puppymobile myself but I would certainly visit either one frequently!

  6. Whipdizzy –

    A kittenmobile could be an awesome way to get animals adopted, and help the animals get socialized at the same time.

    …Mwahahah! That’s fantastic!

  7. Awww! Puppy mobile or some kind of puppy rental service, for those of us who love the doggies but are unable to have one because it’s too much like having someone stare at you ALL THE DAMN TIME!!

  8. I love the puppy mobile idea a lot because, although I love my dog SO MUCH, I never, ever want to go through the puppy phase again (omg 3 AM trips outside when it’s FREEZING???), but who doesn’t love puppies???

    I think I’ve heard it mentioned on this site before, but this is precisely why I love Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl. My football-loving boyfriend is not so big a fan (or so he says…we clicked over to a few times while his Patriots were losing earlier this year, and he did his fair share of giggling).

  9. Cars that run on smugness.

    Brilliant! It would certainly solve a number of problems for the individual driving down rush-hour-packed Lake Shore Drive in a very large luxury sedan with a bumper sticker that read “DRILL NOW DRILL MORE PAY LESS.”

    Come to think of it, if smugness covered insurance and a parking spot, too, I could probably see myself getting another car.

  10. My brilliant idea is a side effect-free pill that cures all allergies so that everybody can enjoy the puppy-and-kitten-mobile the way that God intended.

  11. I think there is a burning need for everyone to have some kind of indicator that displayed your Sexual Orientation and Relationship status for people who are attracted to you in bars. (Or on street corners.)

    Also, I do know of some shelters that do “rent a pet” to allow you to see if a dog would fit into your lifestyle.

  12. Self-mowing lawns — they grow to a certain height then stop.

    Nap rooms for office workers.

    Women’s shoes that are comfortable, foot-friendly and appropriate for formal office settings.

  13. Public restrooms that would allow you to wash up and leave without ever having to touch faucet or doorknob/handles.

    Also, public restrooms that have water repellent or super absorbant countertops so you don’t get cold, slimy water onh your shirt when reaching for soap/towels, etc.

    Seatbelts that don’t strangle short drivers.

  14. How about an instant closure of all pet stores that sell puppymill puppies and the instant disappearance of all puppy mills? That would be a good idea.

    (dreamed by someone who has done breed rescue and fostering, and who owns two rescued corgis, one a brood bitch from a puppy mill)

  15. Nap rooms for office workers.

    That is close to my brilliant idea, which probably exists somewhere, but are basically public nap rooms. The nap rooms themselves could be cubicles, like tanning salon booths (note: I have not been to a tanning salon in 20 years so maybe that’s not an apt comparison) or little pods like Japanese capsule hotels. You leave an ID with the front desk and pay an hourly fee and then you go to a nice, quiet dark room with a comfy recliner (or a pod) and take a snooze. You could have the nap room store your own pillow and blanket, if you think you’d use them a lot, like how nail salons will keep your personal tools for you, or they have (sanitized!!!) blankets and pillows there as well. There would be lockers for your stuff so you don’t have to worry about people stealing your shit while you nap.

    And! And they could give a punch card so every tenth nap is free.

    Of course they would be licensed and regulated and regularly inspected, and you could only rent a cube/pod by yourself so they don’t end up as shag shacks. They are for NAPPING!!! Or just siting quietly.

  16. All politicians/policy makers/pundits/other occupations that start with ‘p’ should be required to spend 6 months in low-level food service work, without health care, car, or trust fund, and try to make ends meet as a working class person. No outside funds allowed. This service should take place before their first term of office, and be repeated at intervals – one month for every year of office served.

    There should be a community tea stop, where we can all go to sit, drink tea (hot or iced), and gossip.

    House owners that hate gardening should offer their yards to the poor and/or horticulturally minded, to grow food and flowers. Business owners should do the same, and supply water outlets for said gardeners. The expense for water would be tax-deductible.

  17. Wait, Shinobi. That doesn’t look like they have retail locations. It looks workplace-based (which is a great idea). I’m thinking of a retail storefront open to the public for all those times when I have like an hour or two to kill downtown and am not hungry and don’t want coffee and don’t feel like shopping but really just want to lay down and snoooooooze.

  18. I think there should be an automatic writing machine. It takes all the brilliant thoughts in your head and turns them into a coherent, well written paper. Saves time and stress! (Can you tell I’m currently working on several papers?)

    Dissertating graduate students get a one-time no-retaliation chance to push a button on a remote control device, and send their advisers plummeting through a trapdoor into a dungeon full of elementary school lunchroom spaghetti.

    Hahahahahahahahahaha. WIN.

  19. We should be collecting electricity made by people running on gym equipment. Most equipment already runs of of its own generators. Why don’t we collect that energy and use it to power more things? If i had treadmill or a bike at home to ride that would power my none necessities, TV, radio, computer. I would totally be willing to produce my own power.

    And we could create jobs where people could come in during their spare time, ride a bike and make a few bucks. That way if you want to go out to a movie you could stop in for two hours, ride a bike and get cash right there, the energy then could be used to run parts of the city. Anyone could do it that was willing to.

  20. Great ideas Anita! I would really love someone horticulturally minded to come plant some flowers and veggies in my yard! Especially if I might be allowed to make a monetary contribution of some kind to supplies, and perhaps share in a bit of the harvest. All I can manage to grow is herbs. Basil, rosemary, and catnip. The cats don’t mind, but I’d love some tomatoes and cucumbers.

  21. I decided not to put my hand in the blender this morning. I thought that was a pretty good idea.

    Points to whoever gets that!

  22. House owners that hate gardening should offer their yards to the poor and/or horticulturally minded, to grow food and flowers. Business owners should do the same, and supply water outlets for said gardeners. The expense for water would be tax-deductible.

    Ohh, I like this one! I kill every plant I touch (True fact! I once killed a jade plant, which are notoriously easy to keep alive, even though it was in my care for less than 48 hours.), so I would love this. You know, when I own a house someday.

  23. I would really love to have a garden of my own, but I don’t have even the slightest idea how to go about growing things.

    In fact there are a lot of empty lots near where I live that I would love to see turned into community gardens. If only I could garden.

  24. I want to secretly organize a group of fat people to meet at one of the infamously snotty type of clothing stores, the sort with the clerks that scream”what-are-YOU-doing-in-here-fatty” with their eyes… The group could all come in separately and pretend not to know one another, and each ask the clerks ‘Do you have this in a size XL/XXL/XXXL’?

    (I think I must be feeling bitter today).

  25. My idea involves a bra with a chest band that adjusts like a belt instead of hooks and eyes. I could choose a cup size and adjust the band to whatever size I need that day and wouldn’t have to replace my bras so often because the band stretches out and starts to crawl up my back. It would eliminate the problem of the band twisting or rolling too since it would be wide enough to attain a comfortable snugness.

  26. LilahMorgan, if I felt at all comfortable fiddling with the incredible engineering that is the typical bra, I would be testing that idea as we speak.

    I figure, bikini tops tie and fit just fine. So why not take that idea and just make the back. . .flatter?

  27. I want a playground with adult-scale equipment, a bar, and a strict age limit.

    *shakes fist on end of crotchety 26 year-old arm*

  28. lucizoe – it exists!

    the city museum in St. Louis is basically a playground for not-kids. Sure, they let kids in during the day, but friday and saturday nights, they open up the bar and it’s strictly 21+ . You can climb on a giant jungle-gym outside, they have a GIANT ball pit, and the basement is full of (man-made) caves. It looks like it was designed by people doing lots of hallucinogenic drugs, and you kinda feel like you’ve been doing them too, after you spend a few hours in there.

    My great idea: making it free.

  29. I want a playground with adult-scale equipment, a bar, and a strict age limit.

    *shakes fist on end of crotchety 26 year-old arm*

    Lucizoe, the Grand Wailea hotel on Maui has a series of connected “activity pools”, connected by a “river” – fantastic for playing in.

    And in one of the grottos is a bar. Where you can sit on a barstool, up to your waist in water, and have lunch or snacks & drinks. And sign it to your room.

    Mmm. Wanna go …. without taking a day to get there and back … pout!

    http://www.grandwailea.com/dining/lounges.aspx
    http://www.grandwailea.com/activities/pools.aspx

  30. Corgis! Up with Corgis! I have a lovely tri-colored male we got from a family unable to keep him. He’s the best dog in the world!

    I’d love roller coasters and all theme park rides really with big roomy seats.

  31. When this topic comes up, I usually say that I want signs on my car that I could use to tell the other drivers exactly what I think of them and their reckless insanity.

    But, really, I don’t want that.

    I want a magic spell that does nothing but take the road rage away. It would be so nice to be free of it; to just go through the day getting from point A to point B without thinking about the other people (or endangering them…much).

  32. For all of you who’ve mentioned the nap room thing, I had that idea a few years ago when I had a layover between flights. My idea was specifically geared toward airports, since, if you’re travelling by yourself, it’s difficult to nap without worrying about your stuff being taken. I figured you’d have lockers or something to keep your stuff in, or there would be individual rooms with different sleeping surfaces: recliners, beds, couches, etc., depending on your preference. They would have a board listing flights, and you could get a wake up call like in hotels for however long you want to nap.

    Seemed like a great idea to me, but there are logistical issues.

  33. Cindy – I’m not a short driver, but I am a fat driver, and seatbelts go straight for my neck the moment I put them on. I live in a very small town, so I have a lot of long drives. So I bought this and it’s absolutely fantastic, even if I did have to pay $25 postage to Australia! Never again will that belt touch my neck!

  34. Simply Mac, my father used something like that at the airport in Tokyo in the 70s and 80s — coccoon-like pods for travellers to snooze in, and lockers for their shit. He was impressed by how comfy and convenient they were. But whether they’re still around, now, that I don’t know.

  35. Human Whack-a-Mole game. My roommate and I have decided to make one and stick our exes in it. Large hammer included, padding optional.

  36. I thought I had a good idea to sleep on getting tickets for a show that we weren’t sure about but it turned out it was featured on the front page of entertainment section today which meant the tickets we ended up getting cost the same as if I’d moved on them last night but aren’t nearly as good seats.

    I thought it would be a good idea today to go out and upgrade our cell phones (pay as you go because we don’t use them often), but that turned out to be a huge clusterfuck.

    I thought I had a good idea to make a green chile cheese souffle for dinner, but that almost turned into a disaster – which it didn’t.

    However, the idea I had to open the bottle of Honey Moon Viognier with dinner was absolutely excellent.

  37. My great idea is someone giving me $30k.

    Got screwed out of a mortgage on my existing home (in another state), which lost me a bid on a HUD home (a $100k home going for $21k with almost nothing wrong with it!)

    So we’re still stuck with a house we can’t sell and renting a place we can barely afford. Though we’re supposed to start renting our house out to someone whose going to renovate it, that will help a tiny bit.

    We’d actually had been a better credit risk after we’d gotten the stupid home loan.

  38. Flat sticker devices with wiring inside that you can adhere to your remote, car keys, backpack, etc that works with another device like a keypad or something. When said item is lost, press a button on the keypad to locate it which includes a map of your location. Sort of like GPS for your stuff only simpler and cheaper. I know Sharper Image had something similar, but it came with a remote type locator device that I would probably just lose as well.

  39. A women’s clothing store that sells basic business attire the same way a men’s suit store does: by measurement, with tailoring included.

  40. Regina, YES. I’m chronically losing my keys, and my cats enjoying pushing my wallet under things. That makes it hard to go to work. Also, Goddess Heathen, I’ve got some cash I don’t need for awhile; it would be nice if there was an easy, secure way for me to offer it until I needed it back. Sort of a micro-loan type thing. It couldn’t be a gift from me, but it could be a long-term, low interest loan.

    I’m surprised there actually are folks on here with land they’d want gardened. I’ve been toying with an idea for a land trade website. I’d happily give small donations of money, chores, produce, cut flowers, and grow some of what the owner would want if I could have a place in my neighborhood to grow. My community garden is awesome, but a pretty serious bus ride. (~45 minutes + weekdays, 1.5 hours on the weekends) Since I’m doomed to be an apartment dweller until my university recognizes my worth, or I switch careers, or until I move to another place, I’m pretty much stuck.

  41. OMG. Loved One Mood Translator.

    Or a special extra-dimensional room that will allow me to completely escape from the world for a while… preferably into a dimension where there are unicorns.

    Perambulating puppy playmates are perhaps more plausible than pliant planar partitions, but my particular problems plea for a more powerful placation.

    Oh wow, there’s my next idea. Adventurous Argonauts Allied in Alliteration, a squad of superheroes who wear spangly outfits and dash about rescuing people with the sheer force of their wit.

  42. oohh… i had an idea for a nap store the first time i saw the japanese capsule hotels on tv years ago. i think it would be PERFECT to plunk down in busy cities.

    @_@ i just remembered an idea i had when i was in middle school for a stress relief… thingy. it had all different rooms to suit different needs. such as: a room full of cheap plates that you could break, a room where you could scream as much as you wanted to and no one would call the cops, and a room with padded walls/floor, so you could throw yourself into them.

    i still think it sounds like fun. ^_^

  43. A women’s clothing store that sells basic business attire the same way a men’s suit store does: by measurement, with tailoring included.

    Someone seriously needs to jump on this. They’d be millionaires in a week.

    My idea is that instead of seats on airplanes, they have racks of bunk beds. Especially for overseas flights. They could get just as many people on the plane that way (if they let me design it that is), and it would make soooo much more sense than seats.

  44. Cara I love love LOVE your idea!! I think that would definitely make a buzz :) My youth group did something like that for the victorias secret here when they had really disgusting window displays that honestly did border on porn. My youth kids were worried about them, with them being in the mall and on display for all passersby so they kept going in and just talking to a manager or salesperson about it and with in a few days they were replaced.

    I am not a prude.. but they were really pushing it.. in a place that kids walk past all the time. I was proud of my kids for doing that :-)

  45. Also, Goddess Heathen, I’ve got some cash I don’t need for awhile; it would be nice if there was an easy, secure way for me to offer it until I needed it back. Sort of a micro-loan type thing. It couldn’t be a gift from me, but it could be a long-term, low interest loan.

    Hey, Anita, this already exists!

    Kiva gives microcredit loans to entrepreneurs in the developing world:
    http://kiva.org/

    If you need something FDIC backed with guaranteed interest, try something like http://www.southsidecommunityfcu.org/.

  46. BUTTERCUP! I can’t believe I missed your post earlier… how’d I skim over that one?!

    The absolutely IMMEDIATE and PERMANENT eradication of ALL pet mills regardless of species would probably instantly right the balance of good and evil in the world. I think someone with a lot of magic in them needs to get on that, like now.

    Three cheers for your suggestion! Hear, hear!

  47. I want a playground with adult-scale equipment, a bar, and a strict age limit.

    The MOST science center in Syracuse also has something kind of like that. Ok, not quite. BUT, they do have a huge jungle gym multi-level crawl-through thing that is adult-sized, because they realized that making a huge playset like that with ball shooters and stuff and leaving it all “Lord of the Flies” inside was a bad idea. Very little people aren’t supposed to go in without parents. I have to say, it’s a lot of fun.

  48. Yea! I can comment again!

    (lol my comment: I tried to submit that and WordPress told me no, I was posting too quickly)

  49. oh! oh!!! i totally just remembered something i meant to post the first time around.

    EVERY gym should have at LEAST 4 dance dance revolution games. those are one of the best work outs and it’s fun!! ^_^

  50. For those of you who want to rent out your yard to a gardener or farmer (or those who want to rent a yard to garden or farm) check out http://www.yourbackyardfarmer.com
    If you’re in the Portland, Milwaukie or Lake Oswego areas, you could do this already. If not, maybe they want to make the program available in more areas.

  51. My idea is that instead of seats on airplanes, they have racks of bunk beds. Especially for overseas flights. They could get just as many people on the plane that way (if they let me design it that is), and it would make soooo much more sense than seats.

    hera, my pineal gland wants to hug you. I have enormous jetlag right now, having done the ten-hour thing yesterday (Seattle to Heathrow – I wouldn’t do it overnight, except it’s the only way you can get a direct flight). I got approximately no sleep, got back here at midnight, crashed immediately and didn’t get up till 4pm today, and have just booked one more day off work to try and recover a little. I would travel with whatever airline went with your idea, totally.

    With his permission, I submit my husband’s idea, which is that any two people in any two countries, who have equivalent qualifications and want to permanently live and work in each other’s countries, should (subject to criminal checks and the rest, obviously) be able to simply swap nationalities. He came out with this after I found that every time I said I’d love to live in the US, hordes of Americans would be telling me how much they’d love to come live in the UK! Guess the grass is always greener…

  52. I would love to require all clothing retailers to list their size ranges next to their hours on the front door. I’d never have to walk into a store only to find they go up to a size 10 again!

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