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So, we recently got rid of the car. It’s no huge hardship in a city with good public transportation, but of course, in the first few weeks of going carless, you become aware of all the places that are suddenly much more of a PITA to get to.
Over the last several months, I’ve been trying to pick a real gym — specifically, one with a pool — to go to. Before that it was Curves, the yoga studio, or the Pilates studio for any workouts beyond walking. But I really wanted to take a regular water fitness class and maybe start swimming laps, so I started hitting classes at various local gyms on guest passes and non-committal punch cards. I’d narrowed it down to two favorites and was just about to buy a membership at one of them. Then we got rid of the car, at which point I realized that getting to either of those two gyms would require riding at least two buses for a travel time of about 45 minutes, even though they’re pretty close as the crow flies. And I realized that realistically, that meant I would never go to the gym, especially in winter.
So I made with the Google and found a gym that’s a mile away from home, so I can walk when it’s nice and take a bus that goes practically door-to-door in 15 minutes when it’s not. Took a tour, bought a membership, done and done. It’s pretty no-frills, but that means it’s pretty cheap, and they have a pool, which is all I really care about.
Last night, I went to my first water fitness class there. I was all excited, because this one was called “water Pilates” — but if there’s one thing I should have learned from sampling different water fitness classes at different gyms, it’s that they’re all pretty much the same. I went to one that supposedly involved an element of “water yoga,” but all that meant was that the teacher reminded us to breathe deeply a lot. Likewise, “water Pilates” means you get reminded to engage your abs a lot. That’s about it. Fortunately, I like plain old water fitness, so I can live with that, even if I am inclined to grumble about false advertising.
ANYWAY. All of that is background for the point, which we’ll get to now.
So, the instructor is friendly, the class is going along fine, and then it starts. While we’re doing arm exercises, she babbles: ”It’s really easy to fatigue the triceps, because they’re smaller muscles and we don’t use them as much. You know what’s funny? We use our biceps all the time, because —” [mimes bringing fork to mouth]. “If we just did this –” [mimes pushing plate away] “–more often, we’d all be better off! Best diet in the world, and you’re using your triceps!”
Ouch.
Really? Pushing food away is the best diet in the world? But okay, a certain amount of that crap is to be expected from people out in the non-Fatosphere world, especially fitness instructors. Shake it off, Kate!
And then.
“Wow, the pool’s pretty empty today! Usually, we have to deal with lap swimmers splashing everywhere — and since the Olympics started, of course we’ve got a lot more of them! Everybody watches Michael Phelps and thinks, ‘Oh, someday, I could do that’” [makes face]. “And I’m just like, no, you couldn’t, and you don’t look as good in a Speedo, either!”
I’m sorry, WHAT? I know you’re making what you think are innocuous little jokes here, lady, but seriously? FUCK OFF. First, you’ve got two new students in class today, including me, and you think it’s wise to give the impression that the instructors at this gym make fun of newbies for both technique and HOW WE LOOK IN SWIMSUITS?
Second, nobody in their right mind looks at Michael Phelps and thinks, “I could do that.” Personally, I wouldn’t look at a freshman on a high school swim team and think, “Someday, I could do that.” I’m never going to get up at the crack of dawn to train for hours, let alone every day. I have zero interest in athletic competition, and even less in trying to sculpt my body to look “better” in a bathing suit. And yet, it was indeed the Olympics that inspired me to finally commit to a damned gym membership so I can spend more time in the pool. Because when I watch swimming on TV, half the time, I’m not even looking at the athletes. I’m looking at the pretty blue water and thinking how much I want to be in there.
I fucking love to swim. I especially love to just splash around for fun, which is why water aerobics appeals to me, even if I’m 30 years younger than the target market. But for over 15 years, I almost never got in the water, because I was too ashamed of how I looked in a swimsuit. I could not bring myself to do something I knew to be incredibly fun and good for me, because I didn’t have the kind of body that I believed would earn me the right to appear in public mostly naked. And that’s in part because of assholes constantly commenting on how other folks look in bathing suits (or yoga pants, tank tops, miniskirts, you name it), and who has the right to wear them, and who should really just stay home until they magically become thin enough that their flesh won’t offend right-thinking people.
For over 15 fucking years, I just stayed home.
“Harmless jokes” like that are neither harmless nor jokes to me.
And wait, it gets better. After class, I stopped to talk to the teacher (about the towels, nothing at all loaded). I knew I should say something about how much her remarks had bothered me — if nothing else, point out that joking about pushing your plate away being “the best diet in the world” might not be such a great idea in case she’s got someone recovering from an eating disorder in the class — but frankly, I wasn’t up to it. I do not always have the energy to confront people about this shit, and last night, I just wanted to get dressed, get out of there, and try a class with a different instructor next time.
So she asks how I heard about the class, and I say, “Well, I just signed up here because we got rid of the car, and it’s the closest gym with a pool for me. I knew I wouldn’t keep going to a gym that was hard to get to.”
Her eyes light up, and she starts telling me how she’s actually a wellness coach — specializing in weight management! — and she’s always telling people stuff like that, how you’ve got to make it easy for yourself and get rid of all the excuses if you want to keep going. At first, I’m nodding, ’cause yeah — obviously, I agree. Then she fires off 85 other tricks — all of which I’ve heard before, and/or done myself — with the strong implication that she assumes this is the first time I have ever considered exercising in my life, and I have actually just asked her for help in learning how to haul my poor flabby ass to the gym.
And then. AND THEN. Unbidden, she tells me more about her weight management services. “You know, I always tell people there’s no magic bullet –” OH REALLY YOU DON’T SAY “–but you have to change your behavior over time and really find a way to stick with it…”
Fortunately for her, she did not say the words “lifestyle changes,” which meant I didn’t have to deck her. But man, did I ever want to, especially when she wrapped it all up with this:
“So, do you have any particular… concerns?”
To her credit, when I said no and glared a little, she covered — asking specifically about injuries and whatnot, stuff she should know about as a teacher.
Me: Nope, thanks, I’m good.
Her: Okay, so you’re… healthy?
HINT HINT, FATTY!
Me: Yep. Thanks. BYE.
So. It’s my first class at a gym where I just signed a 12-month contract, and I have to listen to pro-dieting, anti-fat, anti-FOOD commentary throughout (there were more examples than the ones I gave), AND get an unsolicited pitch for “weight management” services before I’m allowed to hit the goddamned shower. AWESOME.
Of course, there are other water fitness teachers at the gym, and I will certainly be trying out their classes. (Though it irks me unreasonably that if I don’t show up to this one again, this woman will write me off as a “typical” lazy fatty who couldn’t stick with it.) I’m also thinking of taking some swimming lessons to improve my strokes and learn how to make lap swimming seem a little less mind-numbing to me — so I can eventually get my water fix without having to interact with other human beings at all. And, if I’m feeling strong enough, I might just go back to one of this woman’s classes and tell her privately that I’m a body acceptance activist who believes in HAES, and I find her patter really troubling and alienating. To be fair, apart from everything I’ve mentioned above — which amounted to maybe 5 minutes altogether, out of an hour — she was a good teacher, and I liked her. So maybe it’s worth taking up my teaspoon for this one. I just hate having to do that, you know? I spend all fucking day reading and writing about this shit, and I want to get in the pool to clear my head, not fill it with more work to be done.
And can I just say, this is one of the many reasons why so many people, fat and thin, hate the fucking gym. It’s not because we’re too lazy or don’t like exercise; it’s because at so many gyms, the culture is all about punishing and depriving yourself, not moving for the joy and genuine health benefits — as opposed to appearance “benefits” — of it. I’m really, really hoping this woman is an anomaly and does not actually represent the culture of the gym. I’m hoping every other instructor I meet will be more of a Terry. But I’m not too optimistic, frankly. And if I do have to deal with little arrows of fat hate coming at me every time I go to a class or work with a trainer there, it is going to be a lot harder to drag my ass there on a regular basis. Not because I don’t like exercise, but because I don’t like the default assumption that any fat person who darkens a gym door hates her body, wants to lose weight, and will give up if professionals don’t take it upon themselves to “motivate” her to work harder. For fuck’s sake, SHUT UP AND LET ME ENJOY MYSELF, and I’ll actually come back here without you having to do a thing.
Filed under: Exercise, Fat, Health at Every Size, Self-Image
And can I just say, this is one of the many reasons why so many people, fat and thin, hate the fucking gym. It’s not because we’re too lazy or don’t like exercise; it’s because at so many gyms, the culture is all about punishing and depriving yourself, not moving for the joy and genuine health benefits.
This is exactly it. And exactly why I will never do any exercise in a class situation, or with a personal trainer. I don’t need someone trying to “motivate” me by berating me.
Where on earth did they get the idea that shaming is a good motivator? Does it EVER work?
I keep wishing I had enough money to start my own bullshit-free health club. Or that we at least had a Planet Fitness around here somewhere.
Maybe go and swim laps at her while she’s teaching? :D That avoids the ‘lazy fatty’ thing and annoys her like she annoyed you without having to confront her. (I know, it’s a totally petty suggestion, and two wrongs don’t make a right, but the idea made me giggle…)
I miss being able to swim at a swimming hole. I like leisurely swimming in non-chlorinated water better than anything else, and it’s not something I’m likely to be able to do in a city.
I totally understand about the gym commute without a car, too. I was just about to join a gym (one I could actually afford! –no classes or pool, though) with a 15 minute commute to where I lived, when we suddenly decided to move. Now all the branches of that gym take 45 minutes plus to get to. :( And when you add my fear of dealing with mean gym people (the last one I dealt with was AWFUL –after going through the routine he put me through to teach me how to use some of the weight machines, I couldn’t lift my arms to shoulder height for a week!), that means that I’d NEVER go.
Tal: I’m with you: I wish I could start a HAES-philosophy (movement for the joy of it) based health club around here.
Or … how about simply printing your entire posting, put it an envelope and write “FOOD for thought” and handing it to her “to read later” as you get in the pool next time. I understand that it is not our job to enducate every idiot about issues of self and/or fat acceptance and health at any size. And DO try all the other classes and instructors. At my gym one makes me want to scream and never come near her again, two are OK, and one I am CRAZY about. He is an openly gay man who makes the hour SO FUN, is encouraging, never makes the above described dumb comments, suggests we all go at our own pace, and make our workouts our own. The hour passes so quickly and his work out is so thorough. I am a 380 pound 52 year old lady and it is a bit of a miracle that I enjoy his class so much. And did I mention FUN? FUN, FUN, FUN. When I do laps by myself I usually get bored after half an hour.
swim laps at her
Ha! The thought has occurred to me.
I wish you could get this published as a guest column in a magazine targeting trainers and fitness instructors. (Hell, why aim small — I wish you could get it into Newsweek as a “My Turn” column.) It is so spot on and I think it’s the kind of point that could actually create a “click” moment for a lot of these gym people.
Kate, I’m so sorry about that.
My water exercise class (actually called H2Bo ’cause we do a bunch of Tae-Bo/kickboxing) includes 15 minutes of actual in-the-water yoga poses AND is taught by a FA activist. Lucky, lucky, lucky.
Damn, fatgirlonadate, where do you live? ‘Cause I want to move there!
fatgirlonadate: I am SO envious! I would CUT OUT OTHER THINGS FROM MY BUDGET (and I don’t have much to cut out) to join that gym if it were here.
I am a lap swmmer. I just wanted to encourage you to swim laps, because it is awesome, and also reassure you that swimming laps isn;t particularly exhausting or tiresome.
I have a minor heart condition that makes it impossible for me to exercise any harder than mildly hard (it gets anaerobic for me pretty quickly, my heart races so) and I can swim a mile no problem.
Two things that will help you have a good swim are goggles and a snorkel. The goggles make you see and keep the chlorine out, and the snorkel makes it possible to breather deeply and evenly whiole swimming instead of gasping and bobbing. The actual experience of swimming a mile is it gets really hypnotic and you feel like a dolphin, and your arms and legs move automatically after a while.
Also, start with ten laps and work your way up to wherever you want to be. Don’t get down on yourself for starting small. I always start small at the beginning of summer.
Minneapolis! It’s the YMCA.
Also: I hear you about lap swimming being mind-numbing. I tried it for a while, when we had a different instructor, and I got bored out of my mind on about the third lap.
Oh Kate. *MY* first impulse was Switch to another teacher, find one that’s better behaved, and quietly inform the management about the reasons for switching - cause some gyms keep track of how many members attend which classes, and sometimes instructors sit in on one another’s classes to learn, so I presume such gyms are interested in training instructors in, uh, gym pedagogy? Whatever you want to call it.
But quietly speaking to the instructor herself is much better. It’s always unfair, though, that you (collective you: all of us) have to always be the one teaching the teacher.
P.S. I don’t have a car, so I straight-up quit going to the gym for similar reasons - even though I’m fairly well padded in thin privilege. I just do not do yoga to burn calories. I do not do yoga to punish my abs. I don’t even do PIlates for those reasons. And the nearest gym takes great pride in its whittle-down-and-tone-up approach.
So I quit after a month, invested my money in a mat and some good instructional DVDs, and stayed home until an excellent yoga studio opened up nearby.
I think you should make an appointment to talk to the teacher, separate from your exercise time. I think she would benefit from it.
If she ends up making you not want to go there, I’d suggest a word with management on your way out. They should know who cost them business in this economy.
And exactly why I will never do any exercise in a class situation, or with a personal trainer. I don’t need someone trying to “motivate” me by berating me.
I’ve had a very good experience with my personal trainer. She’s a little bit pro-weight loss, but she has NEVER pushed it on me in our sessions. I mainly do strength training with her, and the focus is mostly on getting stronger. She’s not all chipper and hyper, either. She’s very low-key, although she’ll jokingly yell at me to “get mean!” when I’m starting to struggle with my reps.
She’s not really pro-FA or HAES, but she’s definitely not anti-fat. A couple months ago she confided in me that she suspected her daughter had an eating disorder, and she’s told me more recently that her daughter is now in treatment. So I think she’s more sensitive to body image issues than some other trainers might be. She never asks me about my eating habits, except to make sure that I get a big enough breakfast before going to my training sessions. And I really appreciate that.
On a different note, my husband and I recently went to Aruba for a wedding, and I was reminded of how much I LOVE the ocean. I’m less fond of pools, but I do really like swimming and being in the water. Maybe I should look into some water fitness classes….
I used to go to a Curves gym. At first I really liked it, because I had plenty of time to go, and the times I went were pretty empty and I could get on any machine I wanted and do my stuff and leave.
Then the next semester came and my class schedule was different, and suddenly every time I went it was crowded, hot, and noisy, with loud, bad music playing because of some class going on (and of course the classes are full of tiny women yelling stuff about “workin it” and “getting sexy” and whatever) and I had to mill around waiting for whatever machine I wanted to use.
If gyms were like playgrounds, I’d be happy to go when they’re busy and full. Since they’re more like the gauntlet, I prefer to go when almost nobody is there, and be left the hell alone, and do my stuff, and get out. I especially hate the loud noise and music when I’m trying to do things with my muscles… exercise is almost like a moving meditation for me, and all that racket really interferes with my zen.
There is a really nice ($$$$$) gym in my office building that I used to go to. Everybody there was super nice and friendly, even my trainer ($$$$$$$$$$$$$$) was great, and he never really focused on weight loss, he even admonished me to stay away from the scale. We focused on a lot of things that helped me improve my coordination and balance and just generally get me in better shape.
And honestly, I never felt unwelcome there, everyone was so super friendly. *I* was the one with the problem in the beginning but I got over it. I actually had the most horrible motto ever to make myself feel better. I twas so not FA, I’m not even going to repeat it, it fills me with shame.
However I never went to a class, they were all scary things like PilaDanceFightUBerFITNESS, and SpinningForTheOBsessedCrazyPerson.
I do miss feeling more in shape, but there was nothing enjoyable about going to the gym for me. Even if it was a very nice gym. (Oh and I’m poor now, so i can’t afford a gym where people will kiss my ass anymore.)
Ugh. She probably thinks that kind of talk is terribly helpful and motivating, what with all that “we”-ing. We’re all in this miserable cycle of restriction and self-loathing together, girls!
My top hate about my gym was the Sky Sports (Men’s bodies are power tools!) and MTV (Women’s bodies are ornaments!) on big screens. As soon as I was healthy enough to go out running again, I cancelled my membership. But no, I couldn’t be arsed to tell them why.
P.S. I realized that I said, in the same post, that my trainer is “pro-weight loss” and “not anti-fat” and realized that these are incompatible statements. So I should clarify. She has never tried to push weight loss on me. I do think she has a bit of the “thin=healthy” mindset, but, in my sessions with her, at least, she has focused solely on helping me become as strong and fit as possible.
Another lap swimmer checking in…
To curb the lap swimming boredom, you can really mix it up! Try different strokes… try the strokes in different positions (eg, do freestyle while on your side, using only the arm that’s on top)… try just kicking, just pulling, using one leg or arm at a time… You don’t have to do all freestyle for your workout. And you don’t have to keep going and going and going. Watch the swim teams practice. They do different drills in short bursts. They just don’t break long enough for their heart rate to slow down, so it stays largely aerobic. But hec… break for as long as you need to. Like you say… Michael Phelps (pant, drool) may inspire, but it’s not like we’re all gonna be him.
Some of my favorite drill combinations came from a fantastic coach I had for a while. Wearing fins and with a kickboard, do freestyle kick like any of these:
* 100 meters (4 lengths in most gym pools), use only right leg going down the pool, and only left leg coming back
* 100 meters, kick 3 beats right leg, 3 beats left leg, 3 right, 3 left, etc — try it with fewer or more beats
* 100 meters, kick freestyle for 4 beats (L R L R), kick BUTTERFLY (dolphin kick — both feet at once, use the abs) for 4 beats, repeat
* 100 meters, kick down the lane slow, kick back FAST
All of those can be done with a freestyle kick on your back, too. Most of them, you can start doing them at any level — if 100m is too much, try 50m. “Fast” and “slow” are totally relative. Stop after each drill/length/whatever if need be. Mix it up. It’s really fun! And with fins on, you not only go pretty fast (which can make you feel like a superstar), but it really uses the quad muscles.
I have a spinning instructor that I finally worked up the nerve to call out. I’d like to say it’s entirely attributable to me becoming a kickass FA activist; however, I’ll admit it’s more due to moving to a new gym work pays for.
I’ve endured 3 (THREEEEE!) years of this guy who is a big fish in a small pond of local cycling enthusiasts and rides his bike to the gym to teach the class. He acts as if helping us flabby, unwashed masses is seriously harshing his badass cycling buzz and we should really be grateful he even shows up 10 minutes late… Anyway, my bad for continuing to go all this time but it’s a fantastic workout.
He tends to harp on and on about those of us “not trying hard enough” and that to “lose weight you’re going to have to crank it up and challenge yourselves.” I find spinning awesome because one can adjust as they see fit…
My false courage kicked in on the last day I took his class before the big move. Afterward I thanked him for the class as per usual and added, “You of all people should know not everyone exercises to lose weight.”
I didn’t give him time to say anything because I’m a weenie but I’m glad I finally got it out. I have felt attacked by that shit because my weight has been ALL over the place during the time I’ve seen this guy every single week.
This is just the article I was looking for! I’ve been thinking about joining a gym for ages (They had rowing machines at my school once - they’re the most fun thing in the world! Plus I’m a bit feeble), but I’m worried it’ll be a horrifying exercise in “So how much do you want to lose and where do you want to lose it from?!”
I talked to someone who goes to Curves and she says they measure and weigh you - I don’t want that. Not in a “scared of my weight” sort of way but more “I just want to be able to run better and crush teacakes with my fist, I don’t see how weight is relevant”. How do you other Shapelings deal with gym things? The whole”you’re only here to lose weight” mantra is the one thing that could really put me off. (That and not having a gym buddy - but most of my friends are pro-diet so I imagine I’d have more fun on my own anyway)
I just went swimming with some Toronto Shapelings I met after we had a meetup resulting from the “Where do I find fat friends?” Aunt Fattie post, and it was AWESOME!!
We were doing sommersaults and running back and forth between the hot tub and the pool. We were talking about Michael Phelps, but just how he’s a freak of nature (in the best way possible) and has such a huge arm span and can hyperextend his knees, and how that would not be possible for ANYONE ELSE EVER.
Could you find other Shapelings or FA people in your area and start your own little exercise group, Kate?
Ugh. That’s just… enervating. You know? I don’t blame you for not speaking up; sometimes the wall of ignorance is just so high and thick that you just think, “You know, I
On the other hand, sometimes good things happen. I went to the Hollywood YMCA yesterday to sign up the fam — my little guy wants to be Michael Phelps when he grows up — and figured what the hey, let’s try out the free personal trainer. And my hackles went up when he asked me my goals. With great trepidation I replied, “I need to increase my strength, speed and endurance.”
And bless his heart if he didn’t reply, “It sounds like you’re in training for something.” Not a word about losing weight, not a word about lifestyle changes. He just listened to me, thought about what I wanted and used that information to build me a workout. You know, what personal trainers are SUPPOSED to do. Isn’t it frustrating that thoughtful, respectful treatment is rare enough that I’m excited to have received some?
I work out at our local JCC, where the trainer is an amazing guy who totally gets motivation and acceptance. I don’t know if he learned this somewhere or it’s just who he is. The first time I went in I asked him to show me how to use the treadmill. He did, and when I was done, he said “OK! Let’s work out a routine on the machines!” I said “No! No! I can’t do that!” He said “OK, then, come on in whenever you can use the treadmill”. Every time I came in he was happy to see me and had something interesting to say, not related to my workout. A few months later, when I went back and asked for the weight routine, he spent an hour with me getting me set up.
Over the past few years I’ve been in and out of a routine. He never nudges me, always welcomes me back, and never comments about my weight or my appearance. He does cheer me on when he notices me kicking it up a notch on the treadmill or doing more reps on the machines. I never thought I’d be a gym rat, but he makes it fun (I also really, really like the new individual TV screens on the treadmills and bikes. No more endless nattering financial talking heads).
learn how to make lap swimming seem a little less mind-numbing
I calculate exponential numbers. If that’s any help.
It’s a business. She capitalizes (literally) on people who feel their body can attain ‘perfection’ with her help. So she tried her sales pitch on you.
And it didn’t work.
If she’s a good saleswoman, she’ll just move on to the next mark– I mean customer. If she’s not a good saleswoman, she’ll get out of the business.
I just went swimming with some Toronto Shapelings I met after we had a meetup resulting from the “Where do I find fat friends?” Aunt Fattie post, and it was AWESOME!!
Oh, yippee!
Could you find other Shapelings or FA people in your area and start your own little exercise group, Kate?
Actually, OTM and I have gone to water aerobics together before, but the problem is the gym-location thing, once again. I can motivate to go to her gym (or vice versa) maybe once a month, and she’s said she’ll drop into a class at this new one with me, but neither one of us is going to go through the hassle of getting to the other’s gym a couple times a week.
Besides, although I love hanging out with her, I’m not personally much of a gym-buddy person, anyway. Yeah, it would help to have reinforcement in terms of dealing with the fat hate (at least, someone to roll my eyes at), but generally speaking, I like to be in my own little world when I exercise, whether in a class or solo. I also like to go at off-times, since I work at home, so I’m a piss-poor gym buddy, basically.
I keep wishing I had enough money to start my own bullshit-free health club.
Omg, Tari, I would be your first member. WANT.
I used to go to my local Y in Seattle and deeply enjoyed the (for the most part) lack of bullshit. Weirdly, being around a scale every time I went got triggery for me in a really surprising way; I loved going to work out, but I felt compelled to weigh myself each visit. I have never owned a scale, so that compulsion freaked me out. I think I would not have that reaction now.
Kate, I hope your other classes suck less. I have been thinking about joining a gym too, even though I could use the campus one, because a) I know I won’t go unless it’s really close to my home, and b) I am not convinced that I want to work out with nubile undergrads.
Omg, Tari, I would be your first member. WANT.
That was Tal, which I only know because I misread it as Tari so many times, I always double-check now. ::)
I am not convinced that I want to work out with nubile undergrads.
Yeah, I never used the DePaul gym when I could have, for exactly that reason.
I hate getting the “you’re over fat for an athlete”. It’s like give me a break! What’s next, “you’re over fat for an anorexic”.
Most people expect everyone to work out and exercise, but then when you do you get ridiculed and put down. It’s not motivational, it’s discouraging.
I love lap swimming. Hubby and I do it together and when we both use the boards to do a lap we use our legs and chat. Then we’ll alternate that with doing a lap with some other stroke. I do a lot of stuff on my back in the pool too since I love it!
Goggles are a total must. Although sometimes I wish I wasn’t watching how dirty the pool seems. But the goggles help a LOT when I’m on my back swimming a lap and someone in the next lane is being Splashy McGee and water flies all over the place.
Our current gym is pretty nice and we’ve never been accosted by weight-loss jerks. The counter folks who check you in are very friendly and such. All in all this gym experience is fabulous compared to others.
Good luck with other instructors! IF they are all the same, you might want to tell management your concerns. JMHO though.
Jess: that’s already there — you don’t get diagnosed as anorexic if you’re not underweight by a certain amount.
I just went and looked at gyms again because of this conversation –this time looking for places with water classes. The only one cost EUR 17 a WEEK! *blink*
I’ve never belonged to a gym. For me, it’s always been dance classes. Because dance classes are usually about enjoying yourself and none of that other crap.
I joined a gym in my neighborhood a few months ago and got the “free personal training session”. Which in fact really pissed me off. The trainer assumed, without asking, that I wanted to lose weight and wanted advice about what to eat, and that I was afraid of getting big muscles and therefore should only lift tiny weights 20 times instead of big weights a few times. I kept arguing with him but still wound up doing things that I didn’t want to do, and by the end I was furious. I would hire a personal trainer in a heartbeat if I could be certain they would LISTEN to me and not impose their own goals on me, and not force me through a routine just because it’s the same routine they force everyone through and they can’t stand to deviate from the pattern.
I think it WOULD improve the gym culture if people who disagreed and were well informed kept speaking up. “Why wouldn’t I want big muscles?” “Why do you assume I want to lose weight?” “Excuse me, I’m recovering from an eating disorder and X is not helpful to me.”
But, it’s hard to do. Maybe the starting point is a polite-but-firm “I disagree” or “That’s not what I’m here for.”
It would be awesome if Kate could get one of the trade magazines for gyms/personal trainers to publish a article on “How to treat fat people working out at your gym” or “How to be a body-accepting personal trainer.”
Or if we had a blog to rate gyms across the country on their fat-postivity and general “healthiness.”
And can I just say, this is one of the many reasons why so many people, fat and thin, hate the fucking gym. It’s not because we’re too lazy or don’t like exercise; it’s because at so many gyms, the culture is all about punishing and depriving yourself, not moving for the joy and genuine health benefits.
BINGO!!! This is the main reason I don’t haul my 330 lb. ass to a gym, whether it’s the meat market kind like Bally’s, or Curves. So many of them are all about the weight loss and no-pain-no-gain and not about moving to just be moving.
There is an activity center down the road from me that offers an exercise room for $25 a year. They have a treadmill, an exercise bike, and other equipment. My mom has been there and apparently it’s very low-key and quiet. That’s more my style. Also, the local community college is offering a new class called “Fun Buns” that is supposed to be for people of all sizes, which sounds neat too.
I agree with whomever said the instructor was trying to eye you as a potential client. and she’ll realize you don’t want to listen to her bullshit, and she’ll find someone else. She’s in the business of shame. You’re just too smart not to fall for it.
Oops, my bad! Sorry Tal. I would still go to your no-bullshit gym.
you don’t get diagnosed as anorexic if you’re not underweight by a certain amount.
Which is total bullshit, for the record.
Oops, my bad! Sorry Tal. I would still go to your no-bullshit gym.
Oh, hey, Fillyjonk, I’m sure she doesn’t mind. :)
I agree with whomever said the instructor was trying to eye you as a potential client.
Oh, 100 fucking percent, which is part of why it pissed me off so much. Especially since it’s not something she does under the aegis of the gym, so I signed up for one thing and she was trying to sell me another.
So I just e-mailed one of the swim instructors (sight unseen) and asked about taking some lessons, emphasizing that I do not give a rat’s ass about speed or weight loss, but just want to have some fun and set small goals that make things more interesting. I’m bummed, because there’s a group adult swim class starting soon, but of course it’s on the ONLY night I can’t do it, so if I want to start now, I gotta shell out for privates. On the upside, I love private lessons (at least I’ve loved them in yoga and Pilates) because, you know, I hate other people. And hey, I’m not shelling out for gas anymore…
This is spot on and why I stopped going to a gym. I always felt like I had to LOOK good, not FEEL good, especially when I was working with a trainer.
I opted for a small elliptical at home with some weights and a balance ball and I do it at home by myself. Just because I want to feel good. And I do.
But yeah, I miss the amenities, like a pool. If only my townhouse could fit an indoor pool. Humph.
Kate: LOL.
Or if we had a blog to rate gyms across the country on their fat-postivity and general “healthiness.”
Now that is a great idea.
It’s possible that she has an eating disorder. We don’t know that for sure, and it doesn’t excuse her propagation of bs. At the same time, it seems like that kind of rhetoric hurts everyone, including the person spouting it.
Kate, I am so sorry that this happened to you and I’m even more affected by the fact that you feel you have no rest from your (very important) work.
Please know that there are others of us who are also fighting this fight out here. You may pick your battles knowing that you are not alone. Speak to the instructor, or don’t. You have the right to exercise in peace.
I’ve heard that biceps/triceps thing before. I wonder if it’s part of aerobics instructor training class or something.
When I have taken classes at a non-size-accepting gym, I’ve found it much more annoying to deal with the other gym members than the instructors. Women are so conditioned to have body-hatred conversations with each other. I can take the instructor aside and point out that I’m not interested in weight loss, but I can’t really declare a fat-hatred-free zone in the locker room without being thought rude.
I belong to an explicitly size-accepting gym, with no scales. It’s http://everywomanhealthclub.com in Redwood City, Calif. No pool, alas.
This article is all about the reasons I prefer taking long walks instead of going to gyms. It’s a pity, too, because I really miss swimming. Teachers tore their hair out over me because I was always under the water rather than on the surface. I think I may be part dolphin because I only ever come up to breathe. Somehow it seems to panic others.
If I could find a cheap enough public pool and a plus sized swimsuit that doesn’t assume my little A+ boobs must be DDs, I’d be swimming almost every day, Michael Phelps or no Michael Phelps
But I have no intention of walking into a gym to be told what a fat ugly fatty I am and how some dingbat’s dorktastic class is the only path to worthy skinniness. I’d rather just take a walk and enjoy the scenery. Walking brings me physical fitness and mental joy. Swimming under the water does the same.
And if I can’t get mental joy along with the physical benefits, what’s the point in exercising, anyway?
Twistie: “Dingbat’s dorktastic class” has me laughing so hard!! YOU W*I*N the English Language Master award for this thread!
Thanks, KMTBERRY. That’s why I are a perfesshional riter.
For fuck’s sake, SHUT UP AND LET ME ENJOY MYSELF, and I’ll actually come back here without you having to do a thing.
You should get this put on a T-shirt and wear it there.
Has there been a compilation of fat-friendly gyms anywhere on the Internet? I suppose it would be a short list, but perhaps there are some hidden gems out there. The gym in my old hometown was not particularly size-accepting, but since it was the only gym in town a lot of fat people went there and I never felt out of place. Also, my sister works there. You’d never believe she’s my sister, since she’s thin (and I’m fat) and has curly dark hair (and mine is straight and fair). But she was always happy to see me there and has never hounded me to lose weight. Unfortunately, I now live in the city and wouldn’t know where to begin.
Teachers tore their hair out over me because I was always under the water rather than on the surface. I think I may be part dolphin because I only ever come up to breathe. Somehow it seems to panic others.
Well, as a former lifeguard* (yeah, hi, teach, I’ve been in the water before), I can tell you that used to panic me, ’cause I was all, “Wait, where the hell did that one go?!?” (And I was a waterfront lifeguard, not a pool one, so a lot of the time, I couldn’t see kids at all when they went under, and I’d just have to keep scanning to make sure they eventually resurfaced somewhere.)
And I also love walking for all the reasons you mention, Twistie.
*Since I made a big deal over not getting in the water for ages because I hated my body, I should point out that this was during one summer when I worked as a camp counselor, and we were all required to train and serve as lifeguards. We were also allowed to wear towels around our waists for modestly when we guarded, and I wore the biggest fucking beach towel I could find, let me tell you.
I think you’re onto something with the “if nothing else, point out that joking about pushing your plate away being “the best diet in the world” might not be such a great idea in case she’s got someone recovering from an eating disorder in the class” thing.
I mean, statistically speaking, that’s probably quite likely.
So that may be a good way of introducing that kind of thing to this kind of teacher. The “I have this friend” thing, like, “Y’know, I have this friend, and she’s anorexic, and working really hard to overcome that, and I really wanted to bring her with me to this gym, but I really worry because a few things you said today in this class would be really triggering to someone like her…”
Just a thought, not for you Kate, but for anyone trying to start a conversation like this. Because, y’know, nobody cares about offending a fat chick, but the idea that maybe something they say may make some actual thin person run off to vomit–that tends to get people thinking. (Sorry, feeling a mite PMSy today).
AND, I’ve just gone completely insane and started HAES Gym Reviews (haes-gyms.blogspot.com)
If y’all send me your gym reviews about fat-friendliness or HAES-friendliness, I’ll put ‘em up! :D
Kate, was your calling bullshit on my comment about anorexia diagnoses about an error on my part (in which case, I’m sorry) or about the DSM definition of the disease?
Sunday I finally read Good In Bed. Your encounter with the teacher reminds me of early in the book when Cannie starts a weight loss program and the nurse comes in to discuss portion control. It becomes immediately clear that the women in the program already KNOW everything the nurse is trying to teach. This is NOT NEW.
Re: lap swimming, one lap swimmer I know got a waterproof plastic case for her ipod so she can listen to music or books on tape.
I’ve worked front desk at a gym for the past 8 years and believe me, I’ve heard some crazy sh*T from members, co-workers, and even the owner of the gym. I’m 5′1″ and 215 lbs. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. About 5 years ago, a woman said to me that she was happy to see a woman “of size” working at the gym. I was mortified by the comment then. If she was still a member now, I would tell her how much I appreciated the comment.
This is spot on and why I stopped going to a gym. I always felt like I had to LOOK good, not FEEL good, especially when I was working with a trainer.
Oh, like how my mother would clean the house before the cleaning woman came over?
Kate, was your calling bullshit on my comment about anorexia diagnoses about an error on my part (in which case, I’m sorry) or about the DSM definition of the disease?
Oh, the latter! I just wanted to make sure the existence of fat anorexics was noted.
And yay for new blog! THANKS!
April D, I used to work out with a similar-sized friend at the Pro Club in Redmond and never got crap for being fat. I think it might have been because we were obviously relaxed, chatting, and having fun.
One nervous-looking new person is easy to pick on. Two new people who are chatting about work and previous workout experiences? Not so much.
Oh, good, I’m glad I didn’t get things that wrong!
(I nearly stopped eating when I was in middle school. No-one noticed because I didn’t get thin. I stopped when I started fainting in chorus.)
If anyone wants to help me run the new blog, let me know. (That’ll probably be the first post, frankly –asking for a co-editor or whatever you want to call it.)
Twistie:If I could find a cheap enough public pool and a plus sized swimsuit that doesn’t assume my little A+ boobs must be DDs, I’d be swimming almost every day, Michael Phelps or no Michael Phelps.
YES YES YES YES YES!!!! Thank you!!
While I don’t have A-plus boobs, I’ve practically given up on swimsuits because although my boobs are not particularly large, I would actually appreciate some *support* — nursing two kids’ll do that to you — NOT TO MENTION some nipple concealage because for those of us who actually use our swimsuits TO SWIM IN, this is an issue when we get out of the pool and it is cold.
However, those two stated desires do NOT, actually, combine to yield a desire that my c-cup boobies have nice little foam-dome caves to rattle and flop around in. That, however, has been all that’s available once I find a swimsuit that fits the rest of me. Grrrrr.
Oh, and Kate, your post was pure brilliance as usual. I want to print it out and leave copies on the table at my gym, where all the trainers and tanning places put their cards and coupons. With a note that says “Just a hint, dears.”
Before I’d discovered your site, I went to my gym (for the first time in years) and hired a trainer via their discount “get people started” program. The first thing he said to me as I hopped on the treadmill was “stick with this and in 6 months you’ll like yourself.”
What.
I told him “I already like myself.” He had no response to that.
I bit my tongue though the rest of my sessions with him because I wanted a program I could adapt and grow as I built strength. He wanted me to write down everything I ate, which, at the time, I was calorie restricting and writing shit down. I told him what I was doing and he was just fine with the1,200-1,500 calories I was consuming - with a 5′9″ 225 lb. frame.
Of course, when I plateaued and my metabolism died - I was doing all the same things and gained two pounds that month - he had little to offer except to decrease my calories and work out more. Crimeny. That’s exactly how to deal with a starvation-mode metabolism.
Now I am working on HAES, sorting out the crap that others say and that I say to myself. I’m so grateful for your site, Kate. I hope you’ll be around more now that the book is “in the can.”
I find most gyms hostile and not at all interested in getting people to a more healthful place. I think gyms are all about raking in the initial sign up fee, knowing that more than half will never show up after the second week - which means they just got a crapload of profit and won’t need additional personnel for the influx.
As a member of the much maligned — and deservedly so — mainstream media, I had a gym owner call me and pitch a story about a local bank employee who’d dropped 75 pounds because his boss had paid him $10,000 to do it. That’s right. $10,000.
I said “no” and the musclehead freaks.
I explained that I couldn’t imagine anything more depressing or misleading to subscribers or readers who already felt like they were going to die in five years if they didn’t lose weight to read about some guy getting $10,000 for doing something they’ll SPEND much more over their lives trying and failing to do.
I didn’t feel like perpetuating the unproven assumption that losing weight will add a decade to your life, and that losing weight is symbolically worth $10,000. Or the “million bucks” you feel like for five minutes until, well, the hawt new bod isn’t impervious to pain, irritation or bullshit anymore.
Kate, I think you’ve illustrated perfectly why I DON’T take exercise classes at the gym. I have my own goals, and classes usually have theirs, and they just don’t match up very well.
I’m very pleased with the gym I go to - we pay our money, we show up, we do what we want to. No pressure, no instructors, no gym teacher yelling that “you’re not trying hard enough”! (Yes, I’m still traumatized by grade school and high school gym classes even though it’s been 25 years.).
I swim laps because it’s FUN, not because I want to lose weight. I love the muscle toning, but more importantly I love how it releases my stress and how meditative it is. Well, most of the time, sometimes I work out new sewing patterns while I swim. It’s also the closest I’ve ever come to flying. I’ve always dreamed of flying on my own.
And fun/stress relief/because I enjoy the activity is the only reason I will ever exercise regularly. The rest is nonsense.
and since the Olympics started, of course we’ve got a lot more of them! Everybody watches Michael Phelps and thinks, ‘Oh, someday, I could do that’” [makes face]. “And I’m just like, no, you couldn’t, and you don’t look as good in a Speedo, either!”
This is just . . . so bizarrely revelatory of a comment to me. She looks at people swimming around Olympics time and doesn’t think “We’re busy - people must have been inspired to try swimming!” she thinks “We’re busy - God, all these delusional fatties think they’re as good as Michael Phelps.”
Typical, of course, to assume that people aren’t perfectly capable of judging for themselves that they are not an olympic-caliber swimmer, just like they’re not capable of judging when they’re hungry (better than weight watchers or jenny craig) or how fat they are or how healthy they are. Nope, guys, we have to ACT NOW to make sure those fatties don’t continue to have inappropriately high self esteem. It’s a national crisis, y’all.
And, of course, there’s the “Those lazy fatties are too gross to exercise! They should stay at home until they’re less lazy!” paradox.
Here’s another voice begging you to print out that entire post and give one copy each to the instructor and the manager. Begging!
Also, if you figure out how to make lap swimming less mindnumbingly boring let me now. :-) I’ve contemplated getting one of those waterproof iPod cases they sell in SkyMall, but I’m not in a position with really easy access to a lap pool right now (and I do have an apartment complex pool that sort of mutes my “Must get in the water” urges) so I haven’t made the investment.
This sounds similar to an experience I had with a yoga instructor who taught body awareness yoga classes AT AN EATING DISORDER CLINIC and talked about how standing up straight can make us look five pounds thinner, and about how good yoga is as part of a weight loss program, and actually handed out materials entitled “Yoga for Weight Loss.” Oh oh oh and handed out fliers for her dietitian services, the first of which was “Weight Loss and Maintenance.” AT AN EATING DISORDER CLINIC. alskjf;alsjf
Anyway. This instructor woman is a total clown. And so fucking what if you did see Michael Phelps or Dara whatsername and they inspired you to swim? Isn’t that what awesome athletes are supposed to do? Inspire us all to challenge ourselves and enjoy moving in our bodies? (Or is that only in Happyland, where I am the mayor and sandwiches are free and the fountains bubble forth quality American microbrews and there’s always a seat on the train?) Judging from her attitude towards fat and her assumptions about weight loss, she should be THRILLED that more people would be inspired to get active instead of being a judgmental, dismissive jerk about it.
Do they have comment cards or something you can fill out? Or you know, I’ll come to a class and roll my eyes at her like crazy. Or “Yeah, we work the biceps all the time *make jerk off gesture with thumb at the top* when we need to be working the triceps! *jerk off gesture with the thumb facing the body*” That probably loses something spelled out like that.
Sweet Machine - I loved the University Y in Seattle and only stopped going there when I moved across town and it was just too far to go. I went to my first group exercise classes there because they had the “Free to Be Fit” program, which is described as follow son the web site: “Free to Be Fit© is aerobics for large women, taught by a large woman! In Free to Be Fit, the environment is designed to be safe, judgment-free, and fun, so participants can enjoy pleasure-based movement.” How’s that for encouraging? And it really was - there was no assumption that you wanted to lose weight - it was just about getting you in there and moving and exercising, regardless of size or skill level. I loved that class!
I definitely find myself more comfortable at a gym where I walk in and see a diversity of bodies - size, shape, and age. I used to travel a lot for work and would sometimes be stuck with “whatever was closest to the hotel” and occasionally would find one that would make me less comfortable, but every gym I’ve been a member of has been the type where I (and all the other members) can go in, do our thing, and get fit (or be fit) without judgment from other members or staff.
I totally agree with Sylvia Rollins: I hope you do print out this post and shove it under the instructor’s door or into her mailbox. Maybe with a “this is why I’m not coming back to your class” written on top of the envelope. I personally think she really really needs to see this.
This is probably one situation where being aspie would work to my advantage, as my occasionally jawdropping bluntness would have kicked in. I might have simply internally rolled my eyes about the “pushing food away” comment (although I agree with those who have said you don’t know if you have someone with an ED in your class just by looking, so it’s officially a REALLY FUCKING STUPID THING TO SAY), but if she came up to me afterwards and started probing me like that? She wouldn’t know what hit her. I’d start with, “Well, to be honest with you, I’m really thinking about not coming back, and here’s why.” Not because I’m such a gutsy badass, but because with my neurological wiring, once you push certain buttons on me enough times, you WILL hear noise.
On boobs and swimsuits… I am fortunate in that there are two brands of plus-size suits that at least sometimes work for the Rack o’ Doom (Land’s End and Junonia), but otherwise, I actually feel your pain, Twistie, ’cause they all seem to be made for people in between you and me on the boob scale. (Go figure.)
As for wanting more support, I’ve heard a lot of people talk about wearing a bra under a bathing suit. That weirds me out a little, but if I do more water fitness classes that involve jumping in the shallow end, I might need to look into it. I’ve heard good things about Decent Exposures, which makes both bras and swimsuits, and designs the suits to be worn over the bras. They have loads of bra sizes, so that could be useful for the As and the G-pluses among us.
Having said that, the good things I’ve heard are not swimsuit-specific, and I’ve never tried them myself.
The other thing I’d recommend for support is controversial: the Miraclesuit-type brands that are super-heavy on the lycra and made to suck you in. I hate them philosophically, but they do help me a lot with boob support — AND, during water exercise, they keep my gut from bouncing, which regular suits do not. On the downside, they’re usually fucking expensive, and you might not want or be able to spend that much on a suit you’re going to expose to a lot of chlorine. (Junonia does have a few on sale right now for as low as $40 — the “QuikShape” ones — but $40 is only “low” in context, of course.)
My husband used to swim laps whenever his schedule at work allowed it. Aside from the pleasures of moving in the water, he liked the way it let him think about nothing for awhile. He’d count laps, but otherwise … he just let the water carry him away, and he’d come out of the pool so blissed-out, it was funny.
I was a competitive swimmer for a long time, and a high school coach for 5 years, and I can’t say that it ever stops being mind-numbing, especially when you take out the competition part of the sport. I always liked that about swimming, though. It’s kid of therapeutic for me.
One way to get cheap, good instruction is to look for a masters team in your area. Most have programs where you can buy a month long membership rather than the annual fee, and most are coached by someone with experience coaching swimmers at all levels. Call around and see if one of the coaches would be willing to give you some stroke instruction during their normal p;practice. I coached masters for a while, and I had college swimmers who had just graduated, and 60 yr olds who had never had any instruction. Most masters programs are similar.
Since you are comfortable in the water, I would say that taking just a few lessons could really change what you can do. the hardest part about learning to swim the strokes as an adult is the breathing- if you can’t already, learning to breath side to side on freestyle, as opposed to picking your head up could double the distance you can cover. The more efficient your strokes, and the less strain you put on your neck while breathing, the easier it will be to get a good workout. I wouldn’t go with a snorkel, personally. They are kind of cumbersome and unnatural to me, but that might be different if you didn’t learn to breath right at a young age.
Also, caps and goggles are not just for the competitive swimmers- unless you have really short hair, a cap makes everything so much easier, and goggles are a must.
I agree with the poster above who said you don’t need to just swim laps- do it like the swim teams do. Warm up, do some drills, kicking, pulling, different strokes, do some short sprints (25’s are fine) and set a goal to get faster, then do a longer swim at around 75% effort and set a goal to add more distance, then cool down. Learn free and backstroke well first. Butterfly is easy to learn, but really hard to do no matter how in shape you are. Breaststroke is the hardest to learn as far as mechanics go, but once you learn you can do it without exerting yourself too much.
I could go on and on, but- learn how to be efficient and to swim correctly to avoid repetitive use injuries by taking a few lessons. Once you have a few strokes down, there are a lot of free resources online to help you have some variety.
Please print out this post and hand it to the instructor and the gym manager. It’s entirely possible she has never considered the damage her language causes.
Although, I have found the Miraclesuit suits are a BEAR to get on, especially if you or the suit are a little damp.
Or “Yeah, we work the biceps all the time *make jerk off gesture with thumb at the top* when we need to be working the triceps! *jerk off gesture with the thumb facing the body*” That probably loses something spelled out like that.
I LOLed anyway.
And yes about getting in and out of Miraclesuits. That part ain’t fun.
I recently joined the little gym a few blocks from my house for the same reason - I knew that it was the one I was most likely to go to. It’s a bit pricey, but I figured that not having a car and thus not paying exorbitant gas prices, I could afford it. And after years at various 24 Hour Fitnesses and the like, I have to say, I am COMPLETELY in love. Here’s why:
* When I first came in, the adorable gayboy receptionist eagerly gave me a tour of the facilities, enthusiastically pointed out all the state of the art equipment, talked about how much fun it was to use, described how different machines might work for people with different fitness goals, even gushed about how neat their drinking fountain is (it is pretty cool), made a few comments about strength training and endurance, but never ONCE mentioned weight loss.
* Within three days of going, I no longer needed to show my membership card because all the employees recognized and greeted me. Not one has ever mentioned weight loss.
* The exercise bikes have a cool video-game setting where you can race the computer, your friends, or other people in the gym on a variety of virtual bike trails, or even set it up to play a sort of fantasy-tag game where you chase flying dragons around on your bike! I think this is super neat, because I really like the workout I get from riding the bike but usually can’t stick with it for long because I get so bored by the repetitive pedaling in place.
* In my two weeks there, I have seen a few of the young, thin, muscular, tightly-clothed “gym bunny” body-types that make up the majority of 24 Hour and the college Rec Centers’ population - however, I have also an even greater number of people with a diverse range of body shapes and sizes, not to mention genders, ethnicities, and apparent sexual orientations. And everybody, regardless of body type, seems focused on their workout rather than on how they look.
* There are mirrors in the dressing room but not anywhere in the workout spaces. I know that looking at yourself in the mirror can be helpful for checking your posture and positioning, but I still feel like this was a positive design choice - for me, at least, because I often find looking at myself in the mirror while working out extremely distracting. (Because I’m so damn sexy, of course.)
* I have not seen one single scale anywhere in the building.
* One of the biggest differences from 24 Hour, where they were always trying to sell me stuff (personal training sessions, vitamins, weight loss ’supplements’, energy drinks, yadda yadda yadda): My gym, which I don’t think has any ‘products’ for sale even if I wanted them, has recently started laying out a great big tray of delicious fresh fruit for members to munch on. That’s right, my *gym* wants to GIVE me FOOD for FREE.
I haven’t taken any of the classes yet because they haven’t fit with my schedule, but I look forward to it. I am seriously considering making a permanent move to this neighborhood largely because I am so in love with this gym! It could only be more perfect if it had a pool…
In any case, it just gives a little bit of hope that a No Bullshit Gym is a viable business possibility. :-)
Rebecca that gym sounds so marvelous! *dreams of a gym without blasted scales everywhere* I hate scales. To boot, everytime I see them in my gym now I can’t help but think of the little quip in “Dodgeball” where the sleezy gym owner says “Add 5 lbs to the women’s scale”. I always used to wonder if doctor’s offices did that too…cause we all know how motivating humiliation and self hatred over a silly number can be… *eyeroll* So where is that marvelous gym???
My last personal trainer experience was really fucking irritating, too. Not because she was all “lol your fat” or anything (probably because at the time, I was like a size ten and about her size), but because I told her I had significant knee problems and couldn’t do weight bearing squats and she kept putting weight bearing squats in my little routine. It’s like… You know, I’m willing to put myself through the difficult, occasionally embarrassing weight routine that you’ve developed for me so it’s not like I’m trying to weasel my way out of one exercise out of the fifteen that I am eagerly willing to do. But she took it as a personal affront that I had, and insisted on her respecting, my physical limitations.
My friend still sees a PT who told him that it was a GOOD THING that the workout regime he developed for him regularly makes him puke. Even worse, the friend is now convinced that only a vomit-inducing workout is actually effective for reaching fitness goals.
*rolls eyes, makes bicep and tricep strengthening jerk off motions*
@ twistie:
“my little A+ boobs” made my day. i think that’s the one thing i still get caught up on and i love that. Thanks!
My friend still sees a PT who told him that it was a GOOD THING that the workout regime he developed for him regularly makes him puke. Even worse, the friend is now convinced that only a vomit-inducing workout is actually effective for reaching fitness goals.
That came up on one of the sanity watchers-violating troll threads I was reading a while back. The solution apparently is “If you don’t like puking, don’t eat before you go to the gym.” Because lightheaded dizziness is sooooo much better.
because, you know, I hate other people.
That just summed up how I feel in a nutshell. Except that I really love people, just not in organized clusters. :-)
I am on my way out now, but I intend to find references for what I’m about to say. Curves, to my understanding, is SUPER pro-birth (as in anti-women making choices for themselves), and maybe a few other things that some feminists may not want to support. Like I said, I read this in passing a while back, but wanted to throw it out there for those who might care. I will look it up when I get home.
This is one of the reasons I’ve never taken any classes at my gym. I go there, walk on a treadmill until I’m bored, and do some work on the weight machines. No one bothers me, and I don’t bother them. I get some sideways looks sometimes, little smiles from thin women who are probably thinking it’s cute that I’m at the gym, and occasionally a great big grateful grin from another fat person. Every once in a while I get some unsolicited fitness advice from someone, but I don’t think I’ve ever had the kind of experience at my gym that you had with this instructor.
I really hope you find a way to tell her why what she is doing is so offensive.
On a related note, I think we need a cute Cafe Press T-shirt that says something like “This is not my first time at the gym.”
April,
I hate scales too. I only recently made the decision to stop using them, so having them around still tempts me to step on and then beat up on myself. But I am getting better! I don’t have one in my house anymore either!
The gym is called Qi Kinesis - it’s in Denver. Their website is: http://www.qidenver.com. I just noticed that one of the pictures on the front page is of a woman measuring herself with a measuring tape - ick. But on the other hand, I also just came across these blurbs:
And:
And that info is fairly prominently displayed on the site, so that’s neat too.
krisanne, that was my Y! I used to live at 52nd & Brooklyn, so I was literally right around the corner. My only complaint about the place was that there was no pool. But everyone there was nice, and I saw people of lots of sizes and shapes working out. Plus, living so close, I could just go home to shower, which was uber-convenient. Sigh.
For the past 10 weeks I have been working out with a personal trainer. When I started they asked why I was there and about things like eating habits, sleeping habits, stress and general life stuff. Not a word about my weight (349 lbs) and no weighing, measuring, etc. Last week I mentioned wanting to do a 5 k next Spring and the trainer recommended reducing my body fat to reduce the stress on my knees and ankles and recommended eliminating high fructose corn syrup from my diet. It set me off a little bit and she backed off. But other than that it’s all been pretty low key and I would say they are fat friendly.
Let me rant/sing the praises of my gym.
I have a gym that’s pretty good - they have the awesome individual t.v. screens for the treadmills/bikes/ellipticals, a dark and cooler room with a giant movie screen that they play recent movies on (when I first started working out in just bike shorts without baggy shorts over them I used to use this room exclusively, since no one could see me and I was embarrassed. Now I’ll even take my over-shorts off in the main cardio area - progress!), a women’s only room, and just one scale that’s off in the corner.
I like to use the women’s only room for weight-lifting, mostly because EVERY TIME I have used the main room, a guy will come up and ask me to move off the bench that I’m sitting on. One time, I moved to THREE different benches, and each time some dude asked me to move. I was like, “Can’t you see that I, too, am lifting? I also am strengthening my muscles? Why do you have the right to this bench when I got there first?” Once the guy who asked me then just stood next to the bench chatting up some girl for twenty minutes before doing the Really Urgent Lifting that required him to ask me to move. I hate people.
Anyway, I was inspired to comment after reading your comment about mirrors, Rebecca. I HATE looking/seeing myself in the mirror during a workout. Or ever, really. The only time I see myself full-length is when I buy clothes. Every time I see myself I just feel really bad -