I am still coming back and reading this, almost every other day… the comments here are… wow. I wish I had all of you in a room and we could just spend a day just TALKING about all this. There were a couple days where it was almost all-consuming. But it’s really helping.

It’s maybe not helping me get along with my SO so very much, since I’ve really been standing up to him a lot lately. Heck, I’ve been downright cranky, because instead of letting things slide I just keep coming back and demanding respect on things… granted, not always in the most mature of ways (“shut up and stop being a creep”).

I even had a conversation with him the other day when he mentioned how I need to get pissed and stand up for myself, and I said “you’d hate that, I’d start standing up to YOU and stop taking your shit!” To which he said, “you’re right, I’d probably hate it. But I’d have to respect it.”

Which is part of why it’s so hard to decide with him. I love him so much and hate him so much at the same time, and he’s such a child but he’s so great. He probably feels just the same about me.

Part of me is excited by our differences, and the idea of the two of us learning from one another, working together, and the other part can’t imagine why on earth I need to force him to see it, can’t earn his respect without demanding it and then somehow proving it, because of course everything in his world revolves around a brand of logic that is all his own. Life should be on our terms, not his terms, but it’s always fun when I can get him to admit to being wrong while still playing by his “rules.”

Life’s complicated lately.

I was trying to post a link to a photo of the aforementioned 132 lbs actress, and adding to my last comment in case it was misunderstood, that the 132 lbs actress did not wear a fat suit or was in any other way visually altered to resemble a 220 lbs woman.

The producers saw this petite woman of 132 lbs and went, “Hello fatty! This what our 220 lbs character is going to look like”. And they are putting this film out there as encouragment for women who aren’t “slim like models” to “revolt against the imposed ideal of thinness.” It still boggles my mind.

Not enough fat women in the media? I present you two romantic comedies that air on German TV this month, starring fat women.

Exhibit A: A fat (US size 16) woman, single, unhappy, emotional eater, you name your stereotype, job is in danger because of her massive overweight, seeks hypnosis therapy to make her thin, but it only makes her THINK she’s thin. So she starts dressing and behaving like only thin women are allowed to, and finally gets her dream guy’s attention even though she’s still fat. Awww. Would get a point for effort if she wasn’t played by a tiny actress in a fatsuit. Because OMG how in the WORLD are we going to find an actress who is really that HUGE?!

Exhibit B: You are not going to fucking believe this shit. The title of the film is “Molly & Mops”, which is a very classy german play on words that basically translates to “Fat & Fatty”. You’re not going to GUESS what this film is about. A FAT woman who’s a confectioner, and after making the wedding cake for the man she secretly loves, decides to kill herself by HANGING, but she’s so HEAVY the rope rips, and her “mighty” (actual promo text) body BREAKS THROUGH the floor, into the wedding cake she made earlier. Fatty failing at suicide? HI-LARIOUS. She weighs herself shortly afterwards and is at 100 kg, or 220 lbs. “Love at 100 kg” is even the subtitle of this piece of shit.

They are writing that they had to cast “more than 200″ actresses for the role because they couldn’t find one who was fat enough! And when they finally found the one, she had to yet gain 10 kg (22 lbs) for the role! Must be HUGE, right?I found interviews with this actress, where she says, that AFTER her weight gain, brace yourselves: she’s 164 cm (5′5″) and weighs 60 kg (132 lbs)!!!! BMI 22.3!
They get a 130 lbs woman to play a 220 lbs woman who’s SO HUGE she HILARIOUSLY breaks through the floor when she tries to kill herself!!! Awesome!!! And I repeat, this is getting aired as light, fun, family entertainment.

And you won’t be suprised that both of these films are marketed by their respective channels with the usual “we are against unhealthy ideals of thinness, and we are finally giving fat women some air time to give the *real* women out there some hope that they, too, can be *hideously fat* and still find love” lines.

I AM SO FUCKING FURIOUS!!!

When I returned for my next appointment, the look on his face as he said that all of my test results returned as normal, was amusing! I’m 40 years old, fat, and I’m feeling good about my life, but check out this doctor who thinks he’s the authority on my body and my eating patterns.
My thin cousin just found out she has a heart condition :( Alot of women on my maternal side are thin and small built, but the women on my paternal side are big women, big hips and big breasts and I take after them.
And to be very honest here, my big great grandmother lived to be 92. The studies are very interesting.