This is essentially where the people on the National Weight Control Registry are at. For life. One of the researchers says the only ones who succeed at keeping their weight off long-term essentially make it their job – work for Weight Watchers or as an Exercise Trainer or whatnot, so that some of the time and energy put into staying thin makes them some money, because, let’s face it, staying thin for a naturally fat person is essentially a full time job on its own…

I lucked out – hubby was a natural thin (he’s put on some weight over the years – went through a period of stress and lost contact with his hunger), but he was never much for me dieting. I’ve known other naturally thin people who reject the idea that people get fat by overeating as well; I think it often has something to do with the fact that they don’t buy into the whole “you get what you deserve” philosophy of life but rather recognize that a lot of bad stuff strikes at random.

My mom’s side tends toward the tall and not-so-fat, while dad’s side tends toward the seriously hefty, which maybe explains why I was a diet skeptic even before I started having serious issues with my own weight. I have one thin friend who doesn’t put fat people down in general but is kind of hard on her one fat brother – I think she excuses most fat people on the theory that they’re fat through genetics, while she thinks her brother’s doing something wrong.

IMHO, if he did anything to cause his own fatness, it was dieting, which he was doing by the time he hit twenty (I think the military got him on it because he certainly wasn’t fat back then). But he was also the one solid kid in a family of skinnies even as a youngin.

WILL NOT. ‘Cause I dun wanna.

*vworps away*

I am finally starting to believe that what I feel is actually what I feel and not some dark horrible thing masquerading as something else.

Yeah, I get what you are saying there, especially with the acknowledgment of hunger.

For me, though, this also manifested in denial of my severe depression for something like 25 years because my problems, feelings and pain were clearly nothing compared to other people’s problems, feelings and pain – and I should just stop dramatising and whining and get on with it. Sigh, what we put ourselves through.

It’s one reason I am so passionate about HAES; the philosophy encourages us to learn to read our mental, physical and emotional needs and – here’s the kicker – actually take care of them!

They do have in common, though, a tremendous fondness for sugary things, especially fruit and chocolate. In fact, I find that a lot of people who eat intuitively end up eating a lot of fruit. Which, of course, makes perfect sense from an evolutionary perspective. Chocolate is a bit odder, and warrants some investigation IMO.

One side of my family tends toward fat, the other towards thin, so my genetic predisposition was a tossup. I seem to have split it pretty fairly down the middle, though, and am comfortably at my set point without too much effort. I hadn’t realized how stable people’s weight was, though, until I met my current boyfriend, who is extremely thin no matter how much he eats. I’d previously had the “normal privilege” blinders on, in that I ate an average amount and stayed an average weight (5’7″, 140#) so I never had to think about the stability thing at all.

*Laughs hysterically*

Yorke:
As you’d probably guess by now, his opinion of fat people is that they all must live like he did when he was heavy (and not really even THAT heavy!) and that they could lose it if they wanted to like he did. *sigh*

I try to show him that I’m the half marathoner that eats less, but I think he imagines me sneaking food or eating a ton at work. What to do? I’d thought of doing an “Ask Aunt Fattie” with this question.

Have you asked him he thinks *you* live like he did when he was “heavy”? If he says yes, ask him why he thinks that. Is he not paying attention, or does he really think you’re lying about what you’re eating? Not paying attention is forgivable. Thinking you’re a liar might be harder to deal with.

@Fatadelic – one of the hardest things for me in coming to terms with my body is learning to acknowledge my hunger as authentic. The idea that, no matter what size my body is, when it feels hungry, it is hungry, and I should feed it – that was a huge mountain to scale. I grew up assuming that my hunger wasn’t valid, because how could I be hungry, if I was carrying around all that “extra” weight? Same way I grew up thinking my pain wasn’t valid – as a person with fibro, my comments on how much something hurt were always exaggerations, whininess or being a baby. I am finally starting to believe that what I feel is actually what I feel and not some dark horrible thing masquerading as something else.

Thin people who exercise for 30 minutes every day are supremely virtuous. Fat people who fail to exercise for 60-90 minutes a day are lazy and don’t care about themselves.

In much the same way as thin people who eat are merely hungry and needing sustenance, whereas fat people who dare to eat something other than a lettuce leaf are clearly Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts (from Traal, naturally) with compulsive eating disorders who need to Put Down that Baby-Flavoured Donut.

Act now. It’s out of print. :( (Still available from some Amazon sellers and the like, though.)

ETA: I also mean Campos. The Kolata book is still in print.