Comments on: Ask Aunt Fattie: Where can I find fat friends?

By: Jacque

Jacque — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 00:00:39 +0000

plz help me and my mom we need to find fat friends in the orlando fl area if anyone has a suggestion plz let me know!!!!!!!!

By: bolod

bolod — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 07:45:13 +0000

hey, everyone who’s in nyc, please feel free to say hello. I have *zero* plus sized friends and it gets frustrating sometimes. email boloderbaccha @ hotmail dot com

By: himawari

himawari — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 20:27:28 +0000

integgy, I know that this is WAY late, but I’m in Eugene, so I’m only about an hour from you. I’m not fat, but I’m fat-positive, and I do often find it difficult to talk about FA with most of my friends, especially with all the body hate many of them express. I would love to organize or at least be involved in a meetup of like-minded people in the area (there must be more of us in the Willamette Valley….). If you want to get in touch, my e-mail is levinmj at gmail dot com.

By: Jordan

Jordan — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:57:47 +0000

Please, whoever is considering ditching their friend because they are not fat ,don’t do it. You don’t realise how losing you will hurt this person.

By: Yorke

Yorke — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 13:53:28 +0000

TWoP Fan! Wow that’s awesome you’re in Moab. I am in love with that town. It’s my favorite spring camping/hiking destination. So did you go to Mesa? Me too!

By: Sherri

Sherri — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 01:51:16 +0000

Philadelphia here! Right in Center City. philanthropoid AT gmail

By: Simply Mac

Simply Mac — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 13:07:17 +0000

The Bald Soprano: The weird thing about that South leading the nation in obesity, is that it appears I’ve moved to the one place down here where that isn’t true. Even when I lived just outside Nashville, it seemed difficult to find the larger people. I also seem to live in the more ritzy areas (and believe me, this is not because I have money), so maybe there’s a correlation there, too…

Arwen: Thanks so much. I have been trying to learn not to compare myself to others so much, but I do believe it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I simply don’t know where to start. It comes back to the thing with my boyfriend: why would he be with me when he could be with her? And her? And her? Well, it’s because our personalities mix in exactly the right ways, and he LOVES my body. Covets it. Can’t get enough of my round ass. And it’s not like I want to be skinny, or even society’s definition of “thin”, but when I was thinNER, I was actually happy. I didn’t really want to be any smaller. And I don’t know why, because of how great I felt when I exercised regularly (having so much energy and feeling so healthy), I can’t start doing that again. I can’t pinpoint what’s holding me back. So I think that’s one of the bigger issues. Because even though I have found a group of people in you guys who share the same mentality as me in thinking that fat does not equal unhealthy, I feel incompetent compared to you (there’s that word again), because you all are the healthy versions, and I’m the worst representation of the fat population (in my own mind).

Ugh. It tires me out just thinking all that stuff….At least it’s Friday.

By: The Bald Soprano

The Bald Soprano — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 11:45:43 +0000

muzaika: don’t forget to reverse it so you can read it in the mirror! :)

apropos of the “why are there so few FA people in the south” bit of the conversation, I absentmindedly went over to CNN’s webpage (I know, first mistake…) only to be faced by the headline “South Leads Nation in Obesity”… Make of that what you will.

By: muzaika

muzaika — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 04:09:38 +0000

“No. You’re not hating me right.
…God. Do I have to do all the me hating around here?”

Oh my GOD, Arwen, yes. I just needed to see that repeated. And I may have to post it somewhere visible, like my forehead, for easy access in case of mirror-related confusion.

By: Arwen

Arwen — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 20:13:54 +0000

Simply Mac — First, let me say I totally get it. I’ve been there, and it’s so, so hard. What helped me was learning not to be thin, which would be like learning to fly – but learning not to compare myself to others so much. Right here on this blog there are people who are better than me at things that matter WAY more to me than being thin. Funny, witty, sharp people who don’t appear to get quite so wrapped up and awkward. The thing is, I don’t know what it’s like to be them. And they don’t know what it’s like to be me. There will everywhere and always be someone better than me in all the things I want to be good at; but I’m pretty awesome, nonetheless.

Also, I doubt other people’s heads sound exactly like your own self-doubt. I find people who dislike me almost never dislike what I hate most about myself anyway. “Huh? That’s what you picked to dislike me about? But that’s silly. Pick, um, this HORRIBLE FLAW…. no, no, not that one – THIS ONE…
No. You’re not hating me right.
…God. Do I have to do all the me hating around here?”

But even if you were right about what other people think of you, there are a lot of assholes in the world: but eventually we have to stop doing their work for them. When you’re hating on yourself, stand up to the asshole voice there. It’s not right they should get to live in your head. They’re not even paying RENT. There are also a lot of good people in the world, and you won’t be able to see them if you let the assholes speak for them.