I have PCOS, very pale skin, and very dark, coarse body hair. I have a full dark mustache, sideburns, chin hair, chest hair, a full treasure trail, ass hair, hair on my hands/feet/fingers/toes, nipple hair, hair on the small of my back, wild bushy pubic hair, big tufted armpit hair, hair all up and down my thighs, AND moles with hairs sprouting from them. I’m hairier than most men I know.

I don’t get rid of any of it. None! It’s all fully grown out, and it’s not going anywhere. I’m also quite fat, don’t wear any makeup, and I have zero problems finding dates. And I’m actually really choosy about the guys I go out with, too.

I’m not trying to brag or something. I honestly believe that unwavering self-confidence is the sexiest thing in the universe. And apparently a lot of men agree. I’m not some unnatural beauty, either. I’m just a human being who’s very comfortable in her humanity. ‘Stache and all.

I completely reject the idea that women aren’t “allowed” to have body/facial hair. I’ll admit it took me nearly 2 years after I decided to stop shaving my body to finally stop shaving my face, but there have been exactly zero negative consequences. The world has not shattered in two. I actually don’t get any more dirty looks than I used to. No one has threatened me with physical violence. No one has stopped being my friend or refused to be seen with me. The hardest part was just blowing through my own anxiety and discomfort.

The guys I date all tell me how sexy they think it is that I carry myself with such confidence, baring all my hair and fat freely. They tell me how proud they are to be seen with me. And, you know, I *feel* sexy. I feel like a whole, natural woman. I actually feel more like a woman with all my hair intact than I do with it all shaved.

When I shave, I feel, well, stripped down. Naked. I feel forcibly subdued and in a state of perpetual worry that I’ll have “missed a spot” or that I have a rogue hair peeking out. Now, I don’t get anxious when people look at my face. I don’t think, “Oh god, maybe they see my whiskery shame!!!” When people look at me now, I find that I just automatically assume they’re thinking, “Damn, what a curvy, sexy, confident woman! Nice lady tickler, too!”

You, too, can get to this point! There’s no special magic to it. I’m not some special, 1-in-a-million case, divinely gifted with the solid brass balls necessary for such an enormously difficult undertaking.

The few people who do give me dirty looks? Fuck em. At least having seen me, they’ll hopefully be more tolerant toward their girlfriends’ (or their own) stray hairs. Because, you know, at least they’re not a yeti like me.

There is one thing that makes me nervous, though. And that’s the idea that people will say, “God, I knew it. Fat girls are fucking disgusting and have no hygiene.” I REALLY do not want my body to contribute to a confirmation bias against fat people. I do not want to make fat people as a class look any worse in the eyes of the public.

So I occasionally get very anxious and start thinking, “If I want people to respect and accept fat people, I should look as perfect as possible! I should be the exact image of feminine perfection, as determined by culture, except also fat! Then they’ll see that fat people can be sexy and accept that we’re not so bad after all!”

You know what, though? No. Because all that would do is contribute to the idea that fat women can be shamed into submission just like “regular” women. I’m sending a much more positive message being out in public shamelessly, furry legs a-kickin’, havin’ a ball.

Anyway, the overall message I want to impart is that it may seriously feel like you CANNOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES have facial/body hair. Because the universe will seriously crack in half, down will become up, and black will become white.

But, actually, you can! And, frankly, I found that learning to love and accept my body/facial hair was a relatively shorter and easier process than learning to accept my fat. Mainly because I already knew how to calm down and just take the plunge. (Remember the first time you wore a sleeveless shirt in public, and you just KNEW everyone was staring at your arms? But then nothing happened, and you finally just realized it was actually okay? Yeah.)

Anyway, I really hope someone reads this and thinks about it. You really can have facial hair and not die of shame and embarrassment! Push through the anxiety and try it! It’s really not that bad.

Here is the wiki for people who want to cut to the chase: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PCOS

PCOS is a wide spectrum disorder. There are lots of symptoms that you might or might not have. These symptoms can include: irregular period, heavy bleeding, extremely painful cramps, extra hair, acne, high blood pressure, obesity, infertility, miscarriages, wonky hormones, and of course cysts on the ovaries… and the list goes on. But you don’t even have to have the cysts to have PCOS.

You can actually have PCOS while exhibiting only one symptom. IMHO, it is a lazy or ill informed doctor that does not check you for it if you are exhibiting any problems related to hormones and periods. The tests aren’t that bad either. Blood tests, pelvic exams, and maybe an ultrasound. But the relief you can get? Omg, I felt so much better.

I was about 15, and I got sent to the dermatologist for acne. She talked with me and asked me pertinent questions, and suggested that I get checked for PCOS. I had the acne, the painful periods that made me throwup, skipped 8 months while a virgin, bled heavily, horrendous even for a teen mood swings, early first period (I was ten with no other puberty signals.), small breasts, extra weight, and of course… the hair. It was just some on my neck that looked like slightly paler than the brown on my head hair.

I went, I got blood tests (slightly wonky hormones) and a pelvic exam (no cysts thankfully), was told that I was 99% likely to have it, and promptly given the birth control pill and metformin for PCOS and the acne. The BC was wonderful. No more cramping and throwing up. No more being out of commission for 3 days at a time when my period did decide to come. No more swinging from furious to laughing to crying in ten minutes. I know the pill isn’t so great for everyone, but I love it. The metformin though? Oh, boy. That shit and I do not get along. I already tend to hypoglycemia like my mom and that stuff had me in bad shaking sugar lows every day til I gave up on it.

I’ve now been on the pill for nearly 10 years. The periods are lighter and far less painful. The acne is down a huge amount. I rarely have a mood swing now even when I should be pmsing. My breasts grew a bit, though they are still petite. I’m still overweight, but I accept it. And the hair is plateau’ed thankfully. Also, some women have libido, shifts towards the less sex side. I am not shy about declaring that I love sex and want a lot of it.

I do fear trying to get pregnant and the hair that may spring up. Granted, the miscarriages scare me more, but boy I hate the PCOS symptoms too. And the hair is a pretty annoying one.

Anyways, for anyone that comes after and reads all the comments like I did: If you think you have PCOS, you don’t have much to lose trying to get treated. The benefits can far outweigh the downsides. And it doesn’t have to be the pill. There are choices now.

(Oh, and as for the wiki link it mentions: D-chiro-inositol (DCI) as a supplement treatment, and I tried it but I can’t comment on it other than be wary of taking it if you have kidney stones. It set me off into a month long marathon of mini stones. I think it was the brown rice base to the pill, but still. Be aware.)

*hugs to everyone that has to deal with hair, acne, weight, and all of the mentioned unfun symptoms in all of the comments and in the post*

I’ve been reading this post and comments over the past few weeks. It’s really amazing to hear so many women talking about their facial and body hair. It’s normal!

Me, I’ve got it all. I have hair everywhere, all the places any of you have mentioned. PCOS, combined with genetics (I remember watching my mum shave every morning), combined with getting older, and there you go. Hair-tastic.

It’s crazy that this is never mentioned as a secondary sexual characteristic of women. For many, many women (the majority?) facial and body hair is a normal part of life.

I’m a feminist, and for me the issue with hair is balancing my sense of injustice that I am NOT ALLOWED to have this hair (which makes me really indignant and want to grow a beard) and my sense of shame that I am some kind of unfuckable freak. Oh, and throw in fear of public humiliation and young boys laughing at me in the street, and you’ve got the picture.

I haven’t quite worked it out yet, but I’m getting there.

I remember in high school one of the guys in my friendship group (yeah.. awesome friends) calling me “goat girl”. It took me a while to figure out what he was talking about – I knew I had a few hairs under my chin, but I hadn’t thought they were really that noticeable. Apparently, yes they were. I SERIOUSLY gave out to him, and have since come to realise that he was a petty stupid little seventeen year old twat, but I’ve never forgotten the raw burn of humiliation I felt.

I’m pretty handy with a pair of tweezers.. almost to the point of obsession. The hair has gotten more plentiful over the last couple of years, so it doesn’t grow evenly, so I have to have a little plucking adventure every couple of days. It works though.

Three days into this I noticed a difference. The dark hair growth has completely stopped. I DO have a few black ‘dots’ where ones that I plucked right before I started drinking the tea had just started to reappear, and I will have to wait for them to pop just a little and then I’ll yank them too….but no new growth.
It’s a friggin’ miracle, if you ask me.
Laser treatments cost thousands and aren’t permanent. One box of tea for five bucks will last me three weeks…and it’s painless. Yes, you have to keep drinking it to continue to be smooth. Uh..not a problem…please pass the tea!!
I hope this helps someone!!!!!

I’m blonde and British, and I don’t have dark, wirey hairs, but a VERY thick peachfuzz mustache and goatee. My mom and sisters have the same thing, inherited from my grandfather, who’s half gorilla.. I’m just happy I don’t have chest and back hair too, being desceded from him.

I do get wiry hairs around my nipples – those I pluck.

So I went to the salon and got a wax. It hurt a little, it was red for an hour, and then smooth for about 3 weeks. That was four months ago and at $5 – $10 a pop, it’s the best money on cosmetics I’ve ever spent. I like how I look, and I don’t care if that’s because I gave in to societal pressures. What was I supposed to do? Hate my face and suffer for the good of feminism? No thank you. Volunteering and donating money for good causes does a lot more than letting my facial hair grow and make me miserable.

My fiance shaves his face. That does not mean he isn’t in touch with his masculine side. I figure the same applies to me – because if there is such a think as a woman embracing her masculine side, I do it while weight training and watching sports. :)

As my mother aged, she grew a perfect half circle of gray hairs on her chin-one many men would envy. She, too would shave with a man’s disposable razor and shaving cream. When she had her first heart attack and spent a week in the hospital, I was shocked to see these chin hairs in full glory encircling her chin. It was beautiful in its precision and perfect salt and pepper coloring, yet smacked of oddity in that she was a woman and women don’t have beards! Upon leaving her room, I turned to my teenage daughter and said “If I am ever lying in a hospital bed with a full beard like that, you are REQUIRED to shave me immediately!.

i have fully accepted that I have chin hair, and that I will one day most likely grow a beard that requires shaving and or some other form of removal. I do not hide it, nor am i ashamed of it. I just don’t want it on my face. It’s science….hormones and genetics cause hair to grow in specific places (my hubby has very little hair on his head, yet could provide sweaters for all the residents of Siberia with his massive amount of body hair I remove from the shower drain each day *collective “ewwww”*).

Deal with it however you need to. It’s just hair. No need to feel ugly, bad, shameful, hideous, or any other label. I would give anything to see my mother’s wonderfully strange beard again. She’s been gone eight years now and I often think that my own chin hairs somehow keep her close by.