And, of course, not that you don’t know this, but just to make totally explicit – there’s also a huge range of hijab. Most women who wear it are not wearing a burqa. And interestingly, in the generation of Muslim women now in their early to late 20s, at least in the U.S. and among the upper and middle classes of Egypt (the populations I’m marginally familiar with), many women are choosing to wear hijab despite not only a lack of familial pressure but actual familial opposition to it. We Love Hijab is an Islamic fashion blog that also includes many profiles of young women describing their decision to wear hijab, and there’s definitely some overlap.

I think that the parallel with fat as insulator comes into play exactly as you said: sometimes, when you have a healthy, comfortable relationship with fat — i.e., when you get to where you kind of even like it — it’s a very similar power source to that of hijab. It teaches you about hidden beauty and things you keep to yourself, if that makes sense; in a society where skinny is the only way to be beautiful, it’s amazing and empowering to realize that you have all this gorgeousness that not many people see. It’s also, of course, incredibly frustrating, angry-making, and saddening at times, and I can’t help but think that women in hijab might feel the same way. Still, there is this awesome feeling that you know yourself better than you would if you were just another skinny girl or just another girl in a halter top, you know? When you’re fat or when you’re veiled, you spend a lot of time analyzing yourself and finding your comfort/discomfort zones and sort of… sort of thinking about physicality, and eventually you get to where you know a secret, and the secret is that you’re amazingly pretty or amazingly strong or amazingly flexible or maybe you have great skin right there on your ribcage and nobody knows it unless you want them to. I think it’s kind of cool, whether it comes from a burqa or 50 extra pounds.

Where the parallel falls apart is in the enforcement. Nobody will ever, ever threaten you with a beating or an eternity in hell to make you fat. Many, many women will be threatened with these things and worse if they don’t wear hijab, and that’s where the practice becomes disempowering, sickening, and heartless. The strength you can get from either choosing to hide in a specific way (fat, burqa) or just accepting the way you are (tubby, veiled) only comes when it is a choice — and I’m not saying you can choose to be skinny if you’re fat, because duh, no way — but you can choose to accept it. You can dress it up, dress it down, take it out to yoga, and treat it to ice cream — and if you’re being forced under a veil even though you hate it, even though it makes you miserable, even though it’s just a part of the silencing process, then those benefits don’t apply. It’s a tough line to walk, and it’s an issue that quite honestly I don’t think any Western woman of the 21st century really truly gets, but these are the thoughts I have. And can I say again that I loved this question, A Sarah? You kick ass.

(Also, please to be excusing mah typos. I am arthritic and exhausted.)

“Your faith in your therapist is not unjustified! ;)”

:) He is one heckuva great therapist. Just to clarify, though, because I think I may have made it sound otherwise: he didn’t actually write the fat-as-protective-layer thing, but rather linked to a website that has a blog written by a bunch of different people, one of whom wrote the protective layer entry. Thank heaven. Otherwise I’d have had to give him what-for, LOL.

So… so, you know. Mileage varies, but I think for some people fat can kind of be an insulator. If a therapist approaches that respectfully and doesn’t try to change it, I think it can be a helpful therapeutic tactic. Take heart! Your faith in your therapist is not unjustified! ;)

*sits back, waits to be flamed*

On a lighter note, too bad I couldn’t taste that bowl of 10 grain hot cereal with dried cherries I just ate. I bet it was fucking delicious.

He’s apparently not living up to the commitments he made when he bought the paper in terms of keeping the quality of the news high. Staff is leaving.

He also hates Hilary…

So… this is one case where we really have to say “Consider the Source”.

–Andy–

I think most of us got fat just to get attention – nothing says “you like me” like catcalls, thrown food, and diet books as “gifts”.

Sigh.

So, um, never mind, maybe.