 |
TropicalChrome just pronounced it “a lose all my faith in humanity kind of day,” and that’s the kind of day that Friday Fluff was made for. We get into some heavy shit here, and sometimes we need to lighten up. So in honor of this Craigslist posting, I declare a haiku-off!
I will write the first
haiku or three so that I
can explain the rules.
Use five-seven-five
to respond to the poems of
others in the thread.
You can write about
anything you want. Cherry
blossoms not required.
Which of the Boy Bands
Do you find most beautiful?
Looks and sounds both count.
It’s epidemic:
to keep from feeling lonely,
thighs rub together.
Which of the Boy Bands
Do you find most beautiful?
Looks and sounds both count.
None of them are cute
to me, but only one can
make cockatoos dance.
Good news: The loss of
My faith in humanity
Is not permanent
A tracking device
has been implanted in it
it will be retrieved
But for this moment
I would much rather track down
chocolate ice cream
I will not wear that
skirt on my bottom. I am
swimming, not prancing.
@Katia:
Backstreet Boys I loved
I just couldn’t resist them
Thank God I grew up
@peggy
when fatty wears skirts
is there an effective way
to stop thigh chafing
Peggynature:
That’s fine for my thighs,
but what of my other parts?
I’ve rubbed them clean off.
@lexy
Many remedies
for chub rub out there! Google
“anti-chafing cream.”
You can also try
solid deodorant, if
finances are tight.
I remember when
Most parents were shocked shocked shocked!
Beatles had long hair
misinterpreted
the one about rubbing thighs.
well that was awkward
Two paper wasps are
nesting beside my back door
I’m too hot to care
One hundred degrees
the dog’s tongue lolls and drips
sweat drips down my spine
Erotic enticements
stand no chance against my desire
for a frosty beer
I broke avatars
trying to get it to make
wee monsters for all.
I liked that quilt thing
but monsters based on your I
P address? Too great!
Homemade cannoli
I gave two to a neighbor
just because I could.
Whipped ricotta and
mascarpone cheese with
chocolate chips… mmmmmmmmmm
Ah, I made it work!
Check out the new monsters, y’all!
Do you like this more?
The “identicons”
(those quilty things) were classy,
so it’s up to you.
Wait, I’ll make a new
post about this so people
need not write haikus.
Fun monster avatars
So the old ones were quilts huh?
I had no idea
Vodka tonic please,
It has been that kind of day,
With lemons not limes.
avatar equals
three syllables not two hmm
i swear i can count
I can’t see icons
Or avatars in Firefox
What is wrong with me?
Homemade cannoli
sounds way better than ice cream
got any extra :)?
Lynne, they’re on the side
under “recent comments.” Yours
is a weird round bird!
I am not working
Because my boyfriend is here
Being distracting
But I ran teeny
Little radium columns
In the lab today
Oh he left because
The cool kids are having wine
I have my spreadsheets :D
That’s appropriate
Because I am just like a
Weird round little bird.
I have no desire
to write my dissertation
for some strange reason.
Best job ad I’ve seen:
Walrus Program Manager
Lynne agrees with me!
No one is posting
Except me and I can’t stop
Someone make me work.
Elbows on table
Major etiquette no-no
But no one knows why.
My dad’s family
Would just stab any elbows
on tables, with forks.
Some people don’t get
What constitutes real rudeness
Stabbing is wrong, ‘kay?
marble slab creamery
is not as good as cold stone
but that’s splitting hairs
i am currently
craving brackish snacks so i
will write about salt:
the dark day dad tried
to bake a blueberry torte
and grabbed the wrong jar
may so hot your sweat
evaporates in seconds
granules scrape your skin
I am leaving town -
A sister’s baby shower;
Booze may be involved.
Want to see monster
Write another poem in case
Little dude pops up.
Here’s what I don’t get:
Elbows are bad, okay, but
What about forearms?
arms are not forklifts
that need tables for balance–
hey, I’m just saying
that is what I’ve heard.
me personally? easy.
back that truck right up.
Monster’s in the top
lefthand bar: “Recent Comments.”
I think yours is gay!
(That is, she’s a pink
triangle. Fitting tribute
to California!)
I’m pink triangle?
Monster must know I
Support equal marriage rights.
Forearms on table
Better than soup on my shirt
Miss Conduct’s a klutz.
Piss in the wind now
Remember to be upwind
Or wetness for you
There once was a girl
Who was Irish-Japanese;
Limerick? Haiku?
Lines in fives or threes?
Both, she decid-ed, and tried.
She found it a breeze.
Exams are over
but I think I’ve failed so I’m
Not all that happy
Elbows sweetly lie
Forearms also on table
Everything is good.
People with their forks
Should be nice to other folk
People shouldn’t stab.
When stabbing people
Hold your knife in your fingers;
In your fist is rude.
I know why people
don’t put elbows up: they fret
about the butter.
Nobody told me
In all my education:
Which side is MY bread?
I think we should write
a book of FA haiku
it would be awesome
I am so tired
long day of class and practice
reading and study
They told me to use
The outermost cutlery.
I stole my neighbours’.
When you eat your soup,
push the spoon away from you,
do not use a straw.
I work the late shift
Everyone else has gone home
And I’m web surfing
Monistat makes a
Chub rub cream I really like
Most drugstores sell it
Can’t wait to get home
Battlestar Galactica
Will be on at ten!
No monster for me
Wordpress already has an
Avatar for me :(
I’m running a bath
And my bubblebath is called
Sonic Death Monkey.
It’s a silly name
But fits nicely in haiku.
Good night everyone!
Upcycling is fun
I just started doing it
Made bracelet from bag
Today, it rained through
sunshine; a thousand tiny
tongues dot on my skin.
Rainbows are common
in Oregon–they laugh when
we strangers point: awe.
In college, FJ
and I made haikus about
Lynne. Now we are old.
The weather channel
poll says obesity is
individual
Not society
not the diet industry
just us, by ourselves
This makes me sadder
than all the pollen
making me sneezy
My heart will go on
Until I throw up, that is.
Where is Manilow?
Side pedant note: If we really wanted to go groupy with haiku, we could have one of these as a renga. Renga is round-table poetry, which haiku is a shortened version of. In Renga, the first person does a haiku, the next does a 7-7, then the next does a haiku again, then 7-7, etc. Samurai used to do this as a drinking game. There are a lot of rules, but the main idea is to riff off of the last person in a clever unexpected way. Then again, it’s not very Friday fluffy.
The icons have changed!
Um, never saw them before.
Oblivious me.
@ Isua
The summer defense
Alas, the dissertation
is still unwritten
The hot day outside
although better than the rain
I find oppressive
@ fj
Got ur luvlee mail.
Why do you guys always come
When I’m out of town?
@ Kristin
Academics – heh.
I have seen that excuse used
in every season.
Come to think of it,
other jobs too. Then working
makes me look stupid.
@ all
Smiles and fun and laughs.
I can’t count my syllables.
You guys crack me up.
@ Miss Prism
I see someone else
digs the High Fidelity.
Dance Music for Olds!
@ shoutz
Come on shoutz, cheer up.
You know the weather channel’s
buds with FDA.
Tune it out – besides,
all their music’s ripped off from
Pat Metheny Group.
I suck at Haiku
Always too much in one line or
maybe not enough.
Rocking shimmy day
bellydance is so much fun
takes so much practice!
Now I’m sewing shirts
Do the projects ever end??
Doesn’t appear so…
So here I sit now
Clipping, Snipping, Singing too
Songs for Piggy Moo!
^^
Eight wee precious pounds
bouncing on my pubic bone.
“Cautionary Whale”
every word, each line
each thought, emotion, poem
is about this child.
8 months of waiting
plus 2 weeks, a day, a half
“are we there yet mom?”
Two things I have learned-
strangers comments never end.
ice cream cures heartburn.
@ April D
You might not be far
from the birth of a great thought.
Piggy Moo Remix!
bicycle shorts work
better than the chafing gel
in my opinion
when i wore the gel
it would rub off really fast
and my thighs were sad
I am proud to be
A California native
As of yesterday!
@Robotitron
What gel did you use?
When I run a marathon
I chaff everywhere
In places that I
didn’t even know exist
Extremely painful
But I have found that
Body Glide is really great
It works long and strong
eggy baked pancakes -
like the ones from childhood
friend’s houses – for brunch
found the recipe
in my midwestern cookbook
they are smelling good!
3/4 cup flour
4 eggs, vanilla, butter
bake 25 minutes
Went to farmer’s stand
Bought lettuce and tomato
Little plants grow fast
Off to see my friends
From Indy, Wisco, Dayton
In for the weekend.
Must purchase liquor
On the way to the cookout
Hope it doesn’t rain!
Logged out just to see
My lil’ avatar monster
Hope he/she is cute.
My beloved Dad
opposes gay marriage. Why?
Illogical bilge.
Surprise of my life.
Inconsistent with all his
values and mores. Grrr.
hard soles, concrete floors,
a lonely shift, twelve long hours;
oh my aching feet.
- – – – – – – – – – – -
cold today, with rain,
a dreary springtime drizzle.
how i miss the sun.
- – – – – – – – – – – -
letter by ketter,
words fall like cherry blossoms
soft as morning mist.
[ come on, someone had to throw in some cherry blososms... ]
tonight i will wear
my wedding ring to sleep in
i miss my husband
only three more days
until i fly to see him
and then fireworks!
Epiphenomena,
Probably thinking
in the abstract. Doesn’t get
it’s about people.
Much harder, I find,
to say to my face: you don’t
deserve happiness.
a brand new garden
meeting with a soft spring rain
what perfect timing
Sorry I was late
For my opportunity
To add a haiku
I am quite a fan
Of expressing thoughts tightly
In 5-7-5
It’s sad how I have
Nothing of any value
Regarding topics
Don’t want to do stuff
Especially grocery store
I hate Wal-Mart trips
shopping: my life’s bane
rather do anything else
(unless it’s for books)
Weddings suck so much
almost fall asleep standing
I want my life back.
Oh man, I just got
“You’re not fat”-ed. Time for
Teachable Moment!