Friday fluff: Go fluff yourself

Open thread!

What’s on your mind? Got any plans for this weekend? Have you seen Iron Man yet? (My opinion: fun, but Robert Downey Jr’s facial hair is tragic. Speaking of which: should Mr Machine attempt to grow a Mustache of the 19th Century?) Which is cuter: teensy bunny, or kitties in love?

Have at it, Shapelings! It’s been a long week.

109 thoughts on “Friday fluff: Go fluff yourself

  1. Just saw Iron Man and I was shocked that it was done very well. I went because a male friend of mine really wanted to see it and I had a free movie offer. I was prepared to be bored and I really got into it. I generally like sci fi, action adventure, horror (good ones like ‘The Others’, ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’, and ‘the Devil’s Backbone’…), and foreign movies. I’m not into superhero/comic book movies.

    Robert Downey Jr. was perfect in the role and made the evolution of the character pretty smooth. Gweneth was a good low key foil for him. Good fight scenes and lots of funny humor which is good. Some of the special effects guys said that the high heel that Gweneth runs around in is CG because her knees hurt and didn’t want to run around in stiletto heels while being chased by the bad guy. Looked really real. I would definitely recommend!!

  2. Robert Downey Jr. never did anything for me in the 80’s. Then again I was in elementary/junior high during the high points of his career.

    However, I think he looks good now. Yet, I still can’t shake him as the “poster boy for birth control” in “Back to School”

  3. I don’t know, man. Apparently I’m just an angry fat person. I think my weekend plans involve my head and a brick wall.

    I’ve heard Iron Man is great. I’m really excited about Persepolis, though — I’m hoping to find some time to see it in the middle of exam hell. Wee Marjane Satrapi would absolutely have been in Piggy Moo.

    In hilarious news, the drunken Scots outside my window are doing a group rendition of “Fat-Bottomed Girls”. Good times.

  4. I had a final today that SUCKED. My school switched exam software ( we do our finals on our laptops), and it counts lines differently than the previous software did. Well, apparently my Prof. didn’t realize this, because the line limits he gave us for our answers were ridiculous (like, the equivalent of 130 words). It is not fun to try to fit a coherent answer to a complex legal question into one tiny paragraph, let me tell you. Argh!

    I hate finals.

  5. Kate? I just finished reading the blogs that Thorn wrote last summer about the BS she had to put up with from her family when her mom passed away. I’m torn between being so furious for her and having my heart break for what she and her sister had to go through in the name of ‘family love’!!

    Is there any word on how she’s doing now, a year later? I hope that SOB of a doctor burns for eternity for what he did to her mother. Or, since I also believe in reincarnation…..that he comes back as….hmmm?? I can’t even think of something horrible enough for someone like that!! Any suggestions?

  6. BTW Robert Downey Jr. looks cute, I like his facial hair. Makes him look more manly since he is petite and has a more feminine face with enormous eyes.

  7. I vote for the teensy bunneh. But I love the kittehs too.

    I don’t think I could survive some days without Cute Overload.

  8. I’m with Caitlin. I’m having trouble getting beyond feeling radical and unfeminine at the moment, and feel the need to be fat at as many as possible.

    But while I’m not in that place, I’m having happy thoughts about the new Moonlight episode tonight, and I’m thinking about going to see James Marsters sing in June, so I’m basically working out my angst in a healthy vampire-centered way.

  9. I haven’t seen Iron Man yet, but I am slightly disconcerted by RDJ’s facial hair in that picture. Just slightly. And to answer your question, sweetmachine, I’m thinking that the ironic moustache is kinda on its way out, so Mr. Machine might be well-advised to skip it. Though that website is all kinds of entertaining! Also, teensy bunny wins by a hare. Haha.

    Also, mini rant: I need an interstate baby donut launcher, as my dad is attempting to bribe me to lose weight. And I recently stopped taking Paxil, so I’m afraid that I will lose a little bit and he’ll think that said bribing worked, which is totally not something I want to reinforce. Does that make sense?

  10. killedbyllamas,
    Totally makes sense to me. I used to eat voraciously in front of my dad to annoy him since he wanted me to be, skinny, girly, and fem. Maybe just eat in front of him?

    BTW Persepolis looks really interesting. It got 90+ on tomatometer.

  11. I plan on pulling some weeds. I might bathe the dog, too. I’ll refill the birdfeeder, and start some herb seeds. And read Diana Wynne Jones’s ‘The Game.’ I may also read the latest ‘Arthritis Today,’ after which, if I do read it, I will almost certainly toss it across the room and swear fluently, because it’s about as big a piece of crap masquerading as health information as you can get on slick paper these days.

  12. I think kitties in love is much cuter. I’m a sucker for “personality” pics, though. The baby bunny is adorable, but it’s just a pic of a baby bunny. The kitty pic shows the kitties doing something. If that makes sense.

  13. I’ve never been a fan of superhero movies, although the first and second Spiderman was OK. I would like to see the new Hulk reboot, because I loved the 70s’ TV series, and Edward Norton is in it (shout out to a fellow Marylander)! and also because Ang Lee’s version was more boring than watching paint dry. Surely this new one has to be more interesting!

    This weekend, I’m baking cakes, because fat people & cakes are like peanut butter & jelly as we all know. One is for my coworkers’ birthday, and for Mother’s Day. I gave my mom a gift card to tan, with help from my grandfather (her dad). We’re also going out to eat with some family.

    Right now I’m watching episodes of You Can’t Do That on Television on YouTube. That show ruled. I’m so glad I was an 80s’ kid!!!

  14. Colleen, you’re a law student too? What year are you? I’m in the final week of my 3L year and it is frigging killing me. I turned in my third year paper on Monday (after spending 7 frigging hours on the footnotes), and have spent the rest of the week wrapping things up trying to learn Federal Indian Law for my final on Sunday. Okay, maybe that’s my fault for not doing the reading earlier. Whatever. :-)

    On the bright side, I’m going to Puerto Rico on the 17th for a week. Anyone have any travel tips for the island?

  15. I saw “Iron Man” last weekend and…meeeeeeow, Robert Downey Jr. Great performance and mercy, looking so fine.

    I’m currently engaged in a life-or-death struggle with a sinus infection that snuck up on me at the end of the week, so I’m a little loopy on decongestants and hoping it lightens up enough so I can do a funky New Agey thing tomorrow afternoon called a “gong bath”. I’m really looking forward to it and I don’t want my snot getting in the way.

  16. LilahMorgan, I’m only a 1L. Major congratulations on being so close to done, think about how awesome that feeling will be. :) Oh, and I totally feel you on the footnotes. Fucking Bluebook. Once I finish my finals I have to start the writing competition for law review, so that should be fun, if by fun you mean horrible. (I’m not usually this negative. Finals week makes me cranky :) )

    You’re going to Puerto Rico? That’s awesome, I hope you have tons of fun and drink lots of delicious fruity drinks.

  17. I think I’m the only person in the country who hasn’t seen Iron Man yet. I’m not avoiding it, just haven’t gotten around to it yet. From mid-May to July 4th is always THE busiest time of year for us, beating out even the holiday season. I don’t even want to think about everything that has to be done between now and Memorial Day, let alone what’s scheduled for June.

    The baby bunny pictures has an “AWWWWW” factor of about plus one million for me. Perhaps that’s because I live with two cats that do cute things all the time. It’s the novelty factor. And I’m a sucker for baby bunnies.

  18. Please tell Mr. Machine no face spanners or handlebars. shiver

    Glad bebeh bunny was snatched from the jaws of death. Our late, great cat Nada was a turrible bunny killer in her younger days.

  19. We saw Iron Man last weekend and enjoyed it, tho neither hubby or I care for Gwenneth Paltrow. The plot is thin, but still enjoyable. I’d gone in with reservations as Robert was NOT who I would have picked for Tony Stark (not sure who, but not Robert). Robert surprised the heck out of me and I came out going, yup, he’s Tony Stark alright.

    PS, I think he’s GORGEOUS with the face fur he had, YUM!!!!!

  20. Oh, Persepolis was awesome! I need to get the comics now, as soon as I have some spare cash, as well as purchasing the movie. I recommend it times ten, and I want her family to be my family, especially her grandmother.

    I have to give my love to the baby bunny. It’s so compact! It all fits into an oval!

    I used to try to get my guy friends to grow handlebar mustaches because I was terribly jealous and wanted one of my own. They refused, the jerks.

  21. I’m having a weird day. I had a looooot to do today, and it’s the end of a really hard week. But I got tons of support for the video I posted on my fa blog yesterday, which was fantastic and made me feel good.

    So, okayish day. Now I’m going to go watch Alias with friends! HUZZAH!

  22. Two arguments in favor of a growing a nineteenth-century mustache:
    1) Daniel Day Lewis’s version in There Will Be Blood (seriously, that mustache deserved the Oscar just as much as he did) (also, I realize that I’m pushing the century definition just a bit, but it still works)

    2) Deadwood (the third season of which will be occupying much of my weekend).

  23. I’m really excited that I get to go to the first farmers’ market of the season tomorrow morning! Hooray for fresh, local produce. I am really hoping someone has strawberries.

    The rest of the time I plan on embroidering a sampler that says “Thou shalt not be a radical mean fatty.” Think that will make it stick?

  24. A Sarah ~ I’m sorry you’re not feeling so good today. I hope things get better for you.

    random6x7 ~ If you enjoy the Persepolis graphic novel, can I recommend Maus by Art Spieglman? Persepolis got a lot of (positive) comparisions to it. It’s the only graphic novel I’ve ever read and it is breathtaking. It’s the (true) story of what the author’s father went through in the Holocaust, with the Jews as mice and the Nazis as cats. It’s about a million times better than you’re thinking from that description, and I cannot recommend it enough. There’s a bit about Hungarian Jews in particular that hit me like a punch to the stomach, and I think maybe it was the first time I really, really understood (insofar as one can) the sheer number of people who were treated as disposable human beings. I don’t know why I don’t own it, actually. I must fix that.

    killedbyllamas ~ I completely get what you’re saying. Unfortunately, he’s going to think what he’s going to think regardless. The best revenge is really just to live the best way you know how, let your body do what it wants to do, and let him believe whatever he likes.

    LilahMorgan ~ Anyone have any travel tips for the island?

    Drink everything in sight. (It’s possible I’m exam-hell projecting.)

    Also, I really admired how you continually interjected succinct bursts of reason in the discussion on the other blog. Critical thinking all the way. :)

  25. Kittens in love are cuter by far.

    This weekend, no real plans except to study for finals since they start in a week (boo!), call my mum on Sunday, and start packing non-vital stuff so I’m not rushed later. :)

  26. And sometimes we like to spell authors’ names correctly and everything!

    Spieglman=Spiegelman

  27. I am going to attempt, for the third day in a row, to get a visa for China. (This generally makes me want to throw my cell phone at people and bang my head on walls.) I also have a sinus infection and a fever, so this is not going to be a good weekend, I think. At least it’s a long weekend – I have Monday off, too.

  28. I adored Iron Man, and despite the fact that like JeanC, I generally don’t care for Gwynneth Paltrow, I loved Pepper Potts. She avoided most of the traps of women in superhero movies. And spoilerspoilerspoiler, but if people see it, they must stay until the end of the credits.

    Interestingly though, Jean, my partner and I saw the trailer for Iron Man and went “Oh yeah. RDJ is totes Tony Stark.” Also, shoulders. mrrr.

  29. Oh, I think Robert Downey Jr.’s facial hair is hot! But then, I like ‘em scruffy.

    I have no plans for tonight other than “be wildly relieved that the semester is over.” Might just sit around and read my new Stephen King book, or think of an excuse to head over to CVS and flirt with the boy who works there.

  30. okay I’m new so open thread means we can post anything? Cause I just made this video the other day for this fan project my friends and I are doing, and it involves actress Nikki Blonsky and she is my idol! We feel she was robbed by the MTV Movie Awards!!

    Nikki’s very into acceptance and love, she’s amazing! She was the star of Hairspray last summer, if case you hadn’t heard of her. Ok I’m rambling… here’s the vid, I really hope y’all like it!

    ps. I love comments! We’ve been emailing the link to some contacts at mtv, so they might even see it! :))

    Happy Friday everyone!!!

  31. The boyfriend and I are going to a small film festival tonight with his family, and then back to his place for a late dinner/snogging session. If it gets really late, I’ll sleep over (I always have a bag of extra stuff in my car just in case), and just get up when he does.

    Saturday is Clean-Out-Garage Day and in the evening, Morgan (bf) and I will either do Scared Scriptless or Iron Man. Iron Man might wait till Tuedsay tho, since it will be his day off and we can catch a cheaper, less crowded matinee. We might decide to stay in and watch a House marathon as I haven’t seen all of it (and I lust after Hugh Laurie and Thirteen).

    Sunday of course is Mother’s Day which we’ll spend the morning and afternoon with our mums, then possible do a late dinner or might take a break to hang out with our friends seperately. We’re still in that honeymoon phase where we are totally ass over ankles for each other.

    I know, I’ve got a very mushy weekend planned, but I really am nuts about this guy. It’s not “love” per se, since we’ve only been together for three months, but it’s a lot stronger than “like”. I’m very content, but that’s not the right word either. And now I’m babbling.

    Have a good weekend everyone!

  32. Today is Saturday here.

    Went for a country drive to buy vege for tonight’s potluck. Am making a vege-fied baked macaroni & cheese….right after cleaning my room, that is.

    Tomorrow am off to the northern part of the city…to the country again, for a visit to the Waiwera hot pools then to a concert by New Zealand’s own soul songstress, Hollie Smith.

  33. hm, weekend plans.

    Now that the Penguins have beaten the Eeevil Flyers in game one of the eastern conference finals, part one is done.

    Part two will be tomorrow’s incredibly painful physical therapy session at 7am, followed by a likely self-indulgent trip to the Pittsburgh area’s first Sonic.

    Part three will be time spent Sunday with my daughters and my mother, hopefully without too many vicodin but without too much pain either. I just can’t win these days.

    I’ve always found Robert Downey Jr to be very sexy. Loved how he played the greasy journalist in Natural Born Killers. Loved him in Fur. I’m clueless about the whole Iron Man thing (was never into comics) but I love the line in the trailer where he says “oh come on, this isn’t the worst thing you’ve ever caught me doing!”

  34. The photos present me with an awful dilemma. I love bunnehs, but I love kittehs too. It’s a draw.

    I have no idea what this weekend will bring. I’ve got a stack of background reading for school, and my garden plot is full of weeds. Not surprisingly I don’t want to deal with either.

  35. I read the post and was like, hey, what’s wrong with facial hair? [Click.] Facial hair is hot! It’s manly! [click] Oh. Ohhhhh. That facial hair. Hm. Yeah.

    Is Jack Black in it? Or just at the premiere? Look at his wife here, she is so cute, and look she is pregnant again!

  36. I am feeling irate. Rar.

    However, Robert Downey Jr in Iron Man? YES PLEASE.

    I ordered socks (there is a sale on at Sock Dreams, I posted about it) and that made me feel better. Socks always help.

    Now if I could just figure out shoes for goddamn New York City next weekend, I’d be good.

  37. Robert can wear his facial hair any way he wants.

    Do not excoriate the Downey Jr. Them’s fightin’ words.

    (Yes, I will be seeing the movie again this weekend and am wondering when the Chaplin/Home for the Holidays/Less Than Zero/Iron Man retrospective will be scheduled. Probably when IM hits $400 million or so.)

  38. Also, mini rant: I need an interstate baby donut launcher, as my dad is attempting to bribe me to lose weight. And I recently stopped taking Paxil, so I’m afraid that I will lose a little bit and he’ll think that said bribing worked, which is totally not something I want to reinforce. Does that make sense?

    Totes.

    I’ve been known to break it down as to exactly why said bribing did not work, by letter or by email. But I’m talky like that.

  39. Is Jack Black in it? Or just at the premiere? Look at his wife here, she is so cute, and look she is pregnant again!

    I liked the Jack Black better before I found out he broke up with the Laura Kightlinger after dating her for, like, YEARS, and then went and had an immediate kiddie with the current wife. Nothing against the wife, and I have no idea what happened, but if nothing else, Jack should have put his PR people on it so that (former? current? waning?) fans of both of them – like me – would not sneer.

    Not that Jack cares what I think in the abstract.

  40. I saw Iron Man, I loved Iron Man and will likely see it again this weekend. I also have a spontaneous and inexplicable crush on RDJ now. Who knew I have some sort of a thing for blacksmiths?

    The facial hair is not entirely the movies fault. it’s straight out of the comic.

    Also in movies Speed Racer is playing at my local IMAX. I can’t decide if that will be awesome, or make me throw up.

  41. Just for clarification: I think RDJ is totally hot and an amazing actor, which is *why* i find the facial hair so tragic. It’s the weird linearity of the mustache! Why shave that little bit between the ‘stache and the nose?!?

    Linz, you lucky bastard, congratulations on your semester being over. We’re on the quarter system at my school and so have a month to go — at the end of which is my oral exams (gulp!). Since I’ve been studying for orals for about a year now, does anyone have recommendations for what nonrequired books/movies/games I should check out once I’m finally free?

  42. Not going to see Iron Man. But I have been thinking about animals like the Duckbill Platypus and female Hyenas. Anyone hear that thing on NPR about the genome of a Duck Billed Platypus? They are part mammal, park bird and part REPTILE! Cool, huh?

  43. I’M GOING TO DISNEYLAND. AND I’M GOING TO SEE WICKED. AND I GET TO CHECK OUT FILM SCHOOLS. So if you don’t see me for the next week it’s because I’m totally having more fun than you. Remember that in your dark times.

    Wheeeeeeeeee! Haven’t seen Iron Man, but want to, but don’t want to enough to actually spend money on it. Especially because I have NetFlix, and so I’m watching plenty of movies.

    I’m switching my birth control prescription, and my doctor screwed it up, and there was lots of talk at the counter about what to do, and the lady there (while I was on the phone trying to figure out what I was really supposed to be on) made suggestions, and she suggested on that is supposed to help with both acne and weight loss and I was too distracted trying to figure out what went wrong to tell her that I don’t give a flying ass what the drugs do to my weight as long as they keep me from passing out in pain during my cycle.

    In better news, I got a hair cut today!!! It was just a trim, and so everything looks about the same, but I hadn’t had my hair cut in over a year and so it was all frizzy and there were split ends all over the place and it felt so nice to just get it cut.

    I’M GOING TO DISNEYLAND. Wheee!

  44. I can’t wait to see Ironman!! But might have to wait til it either hits the cheap theater or DVD!

    Sue? Yeah, I saw that thing on the platypus…..I hope this doesn’t offend anyone and I apologize if it does….a friend of mine from school use to wonder if that was the animal that God made last…from stuff that was left over. And my friends dad was a pastor, he thought it was funny too.

  45. Sweet Machine, technically I have one final left, but I aced the midterm for that class–hungover, on four hours of sleep and without studying. So. Not terribly concerned.

    Good luck on your exams!

    Also, I just started reading Blaze, Stephen King’s “trunk novel” that he wrote during the Bachman period but never published. Has anyone else read it? I decided a while ago that I was done with King, but this was written back before he started sucking (and the Bachman books are my favorites), so I’m cautiously optimistic.

  46. OK, fluff first. Fluff good! :-D

    Personal demons aside, Robert Downey, Jr. is seriously a great actor. That will be enough to propel me to “Iron Man” (facial hair not withstanding).

    Tough call, baby bunneh vs. kittehs in love. I’m not normally a fence-sitter, but I just can’t make the call on this one. How about the hamster with the knit hat and cheek full of tofu?

    Chrissy, why no link to your fa blog? We want to see your new video and heap even more praise upon you. :-)

    Weekend plans. Go to bed before 2:00am (not really on track to do that). Saturday, run errands in morning. Hang out with niece who is preparing for finals. Make yummy fish for dinner. Then Sunday, head to Mum’s to wash 852 knickknacks (that’s just an estimate) and hang a flowering plant on the front porch. Monday, find a job. Easy!

    Now that the fluff is complete, I have a question/proposition for the Shapely Prose gurus. After having read a portion of another fat-bashing editorial on BFB, I had an idea. I think it’s a good idea and one that could help advance the fat rights movement. But it needs the power of Kate, Fillyjonk, and Sweet Machine to give it traction! No, I’m not sucking up to you, really. ;-)

    How about another slide show a la the Illustrated BMI Project, except this one would show pictures of people who are thin and have no outward appearance of ill health even though they in fact have medical issues, intermingled with pictures of people who are fat and have no medical issues? I’m just so sick and tired of the big mouths of the world (like MeMe Roth and this Hicks person) who believe that a person’s appearance tells the whole story of his/her health.

    Just a thought. It might require a bit more courage than the BMI Project (not that that didn’t require courage! You’ll notice my picture is not in there!), as those in the pictures would have to be willing to declare their medical conditions to the world.

    Thoughts?

    Have a good weekend, all.

  47. I vote for the bunny, because I just found a hole filled with newborn bunnies when I was gardening. They were all blind and bald, but when I went back a few days later they were still in their bunny hole but they looked fuzzy like that brown bunny in the pic. Too cute!

    Iron Man was pretty swell, but I’m counting down the days til Watchmen comes out next year. I have high hopes, though it is a different breed of “super” hero story.

  48. Tangerina, OMG!!!!!!! Baby bunny bonanza!

    Bunny Mazonas, are those from the World Beard Championship or whatever it’s called? Because that is the best contest EVER.

  49. Caitlin:A Sarah ~ I’m sorry you’re not feeling so good today. I hope things get better for you.

    Thanks. I know I’m just shouting into the big dark barn here, but I’ve got nowhere else to shout…

    I feel like I’ve finally gotten to the point of not thinking I’m intrinsically wretched, only to discover that in fact the gifts I have don’t really count for much to other people, at least to other people around here. It’s like I’m trying to spend using a currency that nobody recognizes anymore and isn’t figured in any exchange rates. My husband and I hardly connect at all anymore; I feel like any bid I make for attention and affection is ignored in favor of the myriad other more important things in his life, unless I get upset, in which case he indulges me but then looks down on my for getting upset. We have two little kids that take up so much time that, after my husband’s job and my teaching/dissertating, the only social relationships we have time for are the “friendly acquaintance” variety. I’m terrible at friendly-acquaintanceship: I always say the wrong thing, reveal too much too soon or else overcorrect and seem standoffish, am too enthusiastic about the wrong things and not enthusiastic enough about the right things. Not only that but I seem, by virtue of being a mother and youngish, to get funneled – no matter what I do – into the local “young moms” social circle, which is like fucking sixth grade. Everyone’s trying so desperately to put on a show of being perfect because we’re all deep down so insecure that if we don’t do it perfectly we are Selfish! Haters! Of! Children! But (also like sixth grade) the VAST majority of the mom brigade do SUCH a better job of putting on this show than I do, so I’m left feeling like a huge dorkwad. I do everything wrong by mom crowd standards — I don’t effortlessly ensconce myself in Patagonia and happily curtail any career successes I might have so that my husband needn’t be bothered by his own damn children. (I should say here that my OWN husband is a complete hero on this score; he does more around the house and with the kids than I do. Of course that means that everyone sees him as the shiznit and me as the mom who’s not doing her fair share and THEN has the gall to have feelings toward her hero husband that aren’t 100 percent positive.) And because this is such a conservative Catholic city, with all the attendant issues surrounding motherhood, there’s no chance of me being allowed into any social circle OTHER than the young mothers where my thoughts/feelings/aspirations are welcome. Even the fucking liberals here are conservative and sexist on that score. Because motherhood naturally crowds out all other aspects of one’s identity, don’tcha know? As a senior professor in my department put it when he saw me in a suit – because I was teaching that day – “Wow, you almost look like a real professor. The dead giveaway, though, is that mom bag on your shoulder.” (Mom /= “real professor,” evidently. Never mind that the mom bag was a briefcase handed down by my DAD!)

    I’m sorry, I just don’t have any friends I can tell this to. I go months without encountering anyone IRL who views me with anything like affection or even interest. (Except my freshman students, who are wonderful, but I can’t exactly let them in on my life, KWIM? Plus they’re all headed home for the summer.)

    Thanks for listening. I’m sorry for venting.

  50. My sanity has been (slightly) rescued. Hurrah! Man, there are many awesome people in this region of the ‘tubes.

    Anyway. New, more better plan for the weekend: revise like a studious beaver, go to a ceilidh tonight and dance like an absolute mental, and at some point find time to watch Rent. Yes. Also try to restrain the growing America excitement because Ihavetodomyexamsfirst. Iwillnotlookatbrochures. *tinysquee*

    The rest of the time I plan on embroidering a sampler that says “Thou shalt not be a radical mean fatty.” Think that will make it stick?

    STOP ACCEPTING YOUR FAT, THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE DOING HERE.

    I’M GOING TO DISNEYLAND. Wheee!

    Oooooh!! Which Disneyland? I spent most of my childhood holidays in the Orlando parks — I don’t care if Walt Disney was a closet facist, WDW is one of the happiest places on earth. (Epcot owns my soul.)

    Plus, I’m the only one who ever read the guidebook so from I was tiny I got to shepherd my family around like a mini tour guide. (Was I ever not a geek? Short answer: no.) Being in charge + WDW = happy happy tiny Caitlin. Oh yes.

  51. Iron man rocks!

    However, has anyone else noticed the emphasis on really, really skinny guys in Hollywood? Downy, Jr has a little bit of a stomach, but the rest of him is REALLY slender.

    I became aware of this when I was watching season 3 of The 4400 on DVD. There is a glimpse of Patrick Fluegar (Shawn) putting on his jeans where you see his hip bones jutting out.

    Is this new or am I just becoming aware of it? I didn’t realize the trend for super skinny bodies had hit guys, too.

  52. Dearest A Sarah,

    My comment on Thursday in the “I’m becoming my mom” is a direct response to a recent experience with being accused of being a Selfish! Hater! Of! Children!

    I was feeling very tired and started to cry in front of my husband (it has really been a hellish week because of a crisis with my teenage son). I said, through tears, “I just get so tired of being a mom.” And he jumped up from holding me, said, “Well I guess I’m supposed to do it!” And I said, “I wasn’t asking you for anything, I was just crying because I couldn’t stand it for a minute.” And then I got mad because I couldn’t believe he got so angry because I’d said this out loud. He finally told me that it’s always about me and what I want and that I am selfish.

    I stayed home with the kids for 16 years. 16. And I was never happy with mom culture, but found a friend who didn’t like mom culture either. Now I do all the family stuff while getting a second master’s degree while working full time. Dinners, laundry, when the house is cleaned, I clean it. And I’m selfish because I felt despair.

    You are doing the smartest, best, most productive thing you could ever do for yourself, and therefore your family. The senior professors are frequently dicks, I’m sorry, I was shocked too. Does your campus have a chapter of ACEnet? That’s what we call our group that was formed in response to the ACE’s Office of Women in Higher Education. Google it and find out if you have one. If not, just reading about them may help on bad days. Of course, you can start a group in your spare time(!).

    The one thing that I know now that I didn’t when my children were small is that you will always be accused of not doing enough, no matter how much you do. It has finally occurred to me that since there is no way to avoid it, you should just relax and do what you want. You’ll be criticized, but you’ll also be criticized if you tear your heart out every day and serve it to them on a plate.

    Sorry this went on for so long, but I wanted you to know that some of us know being the mother of small children in a dark land is no joke. May the universe send you strength and courage! And a friend nearby!

  53. A Sarah, I’m sorry you’re having a bad time. I think many moms have been there. As for mom’s groups, I never really fit in either. First of all there were class differences. There was no diversity, just white upper middle class or wealthy women. No single moms, either. So they had these strictly enforced gender roles where they were totally in charge of the kids and their husbands were totally in charge of money, and it just resulted in a lot of bad marriages. So they were always complaining about their husbands not helping and acting like children. And in that situation you are silenced. What am I gonna say? “Wow, my husband would NEVER do that. You must have all married assholes.” They were mostly viciously competitive over their kids too. They acted like developmental milestones were achievements rather than just development. And the dieting and obsession with their bodies! I mean, yeah, most women’s bodies are just different than before they were pregnant. Even if you do lose the weight.

    I was MISERABLE as a SAHM to my twins. I was jealous that Ed got to get away from the crying all day. I’m not a good homemaker and there honestly was no time for it anyway. I felt abandoned and incompetent and lonely. But we didn’t make enough money (even adding in my potential salary) to pay for twin infant daycare. People who are not staying home with small children have NO IDEA of how difficult it is.

    So I hope things get better and you feel less overwhelmed (((Offers a hug))).

  54. My boy and I are in a horrible state of consolidation and move out. We’re spending the summer working in Glacier together and then I come back for one more semester and he enters the real world. It’s just such a totally nerve-wracking time of year, his family is in town, he’s graduating and we somehow have to make it to canada!? growl, it is soooo naptime

  55. A Sarah, you’ve got little kids and are dissertating at the same time? I did that too – I’m past that point now, but if you need someone to vent to, I’m totally available and man, I know what it’s like. There was a year or so where every day, I’d sit in the car in the school parking lot after dropping the kids off at daycare and have to literally spend about 10 minutes talking myself into getting out of the car and going in to teach/research/write. Every-single-day. And no one else in grad school was crazy enough to have kids then, so I didn’t know any other moms who were trying to juggle like that. Of course, the 50 pounds’ worth of stress eating I did apparently meant that I didn’t cope well at the time, but I do finally have some perspective on it. You can email me if you want at paleomom2 [at] yahoo.com.

    Funny mom-bag story of mine – I was in the elevator at work to go home, and a postdoc stepped in and said “Oh, when did you have a baby?” I really didn’t know who she was, so I stammered an answer, and she realized I was looking at her funny, so she said “I recognized the bag. I’ve got the same breast pump.” Oh, well then.

    In other news, it’s my birthday! Uh-huh. I’m the big 3-5. Celebrated by mowing the lawn and now I’m going grocery shopping. Sounds nuts, but finals just ended and I feel good just catching up on what needs done, more than I would have going out and doing something to waste time while I worried about the state of my house. :)

  56. Aieee! How did my mail become an active link? Um, if the mods would really, really do me a favor and change that @ to an at for me, I’d greatly appreciate it. I don’t need any autobots snagging the address!

  57. A Sarah, I’ve been told and I believe that being a mother is the most difficult job there is. I can only imagine the strength it takes to make the sacrifices you make, especially the ones that no one but you will ever even see. (I don’t know if you’ve ever read Jodi Picoult’s Nineteen Minutes, but parts of it brought that slamming home to me.) You have the right to claw out a professional life, you have the right to feel exhausted, and you have the right to sit down sometimes and wish it would all just go away. People who would deny you those rights are usually just living their own version of the devouring the world delusion, where if you admit that sometimes it’s all too much, then how are they meant to keep up all those rigid walls they’ve built between themselves and reality, and then before you know it people will be divorcing their husbands and abandoning their children all over the place and ANARCHY WILL ENSUE. When all you need is someone to acknowledge, just once, that what you’re doing is beyond the limits of human endurance. And it sounds like it really is.

    All I can offer is my own perspective here (which will naturally be warped by the fact that if my mother were given the chance to go back and live her life again she wouldn’t have married my dad, and she wouldn’t have had children, and she’s told us so, so bear that in mind). But I would say this: my mother sacrificed everything there was of her in raising us and kept nothing for herself, and she came to resent us so much for that that she couldn’t find a way to love us anymore (if she ever did). So please, do not ever feel guilty for taking time to yourself, for doing things you want to do, for acknowledging your own human feelings and wanting to know that other people acknowledge them too. It does not make you a bad mother. It makes you a better one. And I hope things get better for you.

    OlderThanDirt: It has finally occurred to me that since there is no way to avoid it, you should just relax and do what you want. You’ll be criticized, but you’ll also be criticized if you tear your heart out every day and serve it to them on a plate.

    So true. I’m going to remember that when (if) I have children. Thank you.

    I also cannot believe how your husband reacted to you being, you know, human. I’m sorry.

  58. Oooooh!! Which Disneyland? I spent most of my childhood holidays in the Orlando parks — I don’t care if Walt Disney was a closet facist, WDW is one of the happiest places on earth. (Epcot owns my soul.)

    I’m going to be in California. My parents have a conference there, and my little brother and I are just tagging along for vacation time. And to check out film schools.

    But I have been to Florida resort, back when I was fifteen (we saved up for AGES as a family to go when my brother came back from his missions – ’cause my family’s all Mormon, yo – ‘cept for me). IT WAS AMAZING. I’d been to the CA park, but the one in Florida is HUGE. There’s so much park. It never ends. It’s like visiting a small country. A small awesome country.

  59. Hello

    First I must apologise for – I believe the term is ‘threadjacking?’ – but I could not find a better way to ask a question to a wide section of the fat acceptance community.

    I am a student of English and cultural studies who is particularly interested in minority movements. I have recently been reading some blogs from the fat acceptance community.

    Here is my question. How would you respond to someone (these are not my personal views) who saw fat Americans as a symbol of the excesses of Western capitalism? What if they claimed that there are a higher percentage of fat people in Britain and America than in other countries because of their imperialism? And what if this person was an Iraqi or Afghani who had lost their home and family during the invasions? They might argue that there is a correlation between consumption and consumption, if you understand me. How would you refute this, bearing in mind that the US is a massive consumer of oil, and following the invasions, many ordinary Iraqis are now having a much harder time finding food to consume.

    Again, these are not my personal views, the question is hypothetical. My personal status is that I am half-Iraqi and strongly opposed to recent Western acts of aggression in the Middle East, but equally troubled and confused by the stereotype of Americans that I see building up in the international community which I fear will further misunderstanding. I would like to better understand the diversity of the American people – this has led to my studies of minority movements such as yours.

    My apologies for the length. I look forward to hearing your responses.

  60. ah, perhaps I should not have said ‘equally troubled’. That would, I think, be an unbalanced response. Please amend it to ‘also troubled’. Thank you.

  61. I second Caitlin – Maus is amazing and well worth a read, especially for anyone who’s still under that strange illusion that ‘comics are for kids’. Both volumes of Persepolis just turned up in one of the four libraries (that’s four different library systems, not branches – I am such a geek) that I regularly lurk in, so I’m looking to get my sticky little hands on those before I see the movie. Movies of comics usually suck in my experience (and I’m not a great movie person anyway), but that one looks cool.

    Kittehs. Bunneh. Bunneh. Kittehs. Any attempt to compare the utter nomminess of both and my head will asplode, so I’ll leave it there.

    19th-century facial hair…I spent much of this week laid up with some kind of intestinal bug that’s been going round these parts, and while indisposed, read a long neglected book about the whole Origin of Species debate, and Professor Huxley’s splendid set of mutton-chops definitely deserve a special mention: http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/history/thuxley.gif
    My husband’s in a facial hair hiatus right now – is getting, to use the word we use in our house, rather biffy (as in Biffy Clyro, notably hirsute Scots rock band) and doesn’t know what to do with it all. Braiding the beard, á la the French architect guy on that moving-abroad program we ‘never watch, honest’, has been discussed and I hope, dismissed.

    Weekend plans? ‘Cello lesson, checking out travel insurance (we are heading in the direction of the Seattle Bumbershoot in August – yes), panicking over doing my very first open mic this coming Friday night and not feeling remotely ready. And, at some stage, eating the Key Lime pies that are, even as I speak, waiting in my fridge.

  62. I went to the hair salon this afternoon, and made the mistake of flipping through a “women’s” magazine while waiting. Let’s see how long it takes to recover the brain cells.

  63. Caitlin, thank you. I’ve bookmarked Maus and will definitely check it out, although it might not be until I make a dent in the mountain of books overflowing my “to be read” shelf.

    A Sarah, I just wanted you to know that I think it’s incredible that you are teaching and working on your dissertation and raising a family and maintaining a marriage. I’m all by myself, and the thought of starting grad school is a bit overwhelming. I can’t imagine it with a couple of young ones running around. I know that the work that teachers have to do has a tendency to expand to fill up all available time, plus at least another ten hours, so, yeah, I’m impressed.

  64. Jude, I approved your comment because I imagine people might want to respond to it — but I also know that we have addressed this on SP and that several other blogs in the fatosphere have specifically addressed the fat = overconsumption analogy. I suggest you poke through the archives here and at some other fat blogs to get started.

  65. I started summer school this week, so this weekend will be full of homework, practicing, and lots of time with friends (last night we played Mafia for two hours, it was hilarious).

  66. Thank you so much OlderThanDirt, Mary, Car, Caitlin, and random6x7…. I really, *really* needed that. I kind of don’t know what to say, but it’s because I’m so filled with gratitude, not because I’m trying unsuccessfully to dredge up sentiment… Blarg. I think one reason why I find motherhood to suck so much is that it’s so not collaborative. We’re all kind of out on a limb, maybe because there’s this crappy-ass American individualist misogynist streak saying “Well you shouldn’t have HAD them if you didn’t want to SACRIFICE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING for them, you selfish, selfish, stupid, horrible mommy!” And so instead of actual HELP we get competition, posturing, and self-hatred within the mommy circle, and guilt-tripping, indifference, condescension and finger-pointing from nearly everyone else.

    Maybe I’ll be more eloquent later. Anyway, you all got me through a really tough day. I don’t know how to thank you enough.

  67. Quick thread hijacking, but you guys seem like you’d know what I’m looking for. I really like these Docker’s Amelia pants, but I can’t find them anywhere! I want something similar, size 12-14 (P preferable). Any ideas?

  68. I recently got some dresses on mega-clearance from Torrid.com and two of them have one of the weirdest features I’ve ever seen. It’s a zipper along the side of the dress, about eight inches long, that goes from the armpit to the waist. The hell? If these dresses were strapless or skintight, I’d sort of understand the Mystery Zipper, but both dresses are loose enough to just pull over my head. Mystery Zipper doesn’t make either of them any easier to put on or take off. Have any other Shapelings encountered Mystery Zipper? Do you know why it’s there, or were you just as baffled as I am?

    Oh, and one dress has Mystery Zipper on the left, the other on the right. Again, the hell?

  69. Sharn, those zippers are supposed to loosen the bodice of the dress so you can take them on and off more easily. They’re instead of a back zipper. If they’re loose enough to pull on and off over your head, the zippers are not particularly useful for you! (I have a zippered cardigan like that – I wear it like a pullover.)

  70. @Jude – a phrase for you: Arguable guilt displacement for natural resource overconsumption.
    Second sweetmachine’s recommendation to look through the archives here; there is some very sophisticated material on the attendant metaphors and psychology.

    I didn’t realize the trend for super skinny bodies had hit guys, too.

    I believe it’s the Hollywood variant on Hedi Slimane disease.

    He has left Dior for the time being, though, so I am hoping the trend pendulum will swing back. I like more beef in my visual diet. Hank McCoy for President.

  71. Also, Jude, some of us are more than one minority, so you may want to look into “intersectional analysis” as you conduct your research.

    TWoP Fan, I know not everyone likes the classics — and I know sometimes it’s a West Coast (Levis/SF) versus East Coast (Maine) thing — but have you thought about LLBean?

  72. I can’t seem to get BFD to load this morning. Anyone else having that problem? I hope it’s just me and not something wrong with the site.

  73. Also it appears there’s been a typo in my website thinger for quite some time. It’s a new site and not worth checking out yet, but I’m posting this so the right addy gets saved and I don’t have to worry about it again.

  74. I went to a formal dance last night and it was so amazing to see all my friends dressed up to the nines and be able to appreciate each of them for exactly what they are, rather than automatically projecting my own body issues on to them and thinking of them as somehow imperfect. (Because really, what is that bullshit?) I love those people, and it was like I finally got to see their beauty on the outside too, without some filter in the way. Plus, some of the biggest women there were some of the most beautiful — one girl looked so fucking regal I couldn’t get over it. It was just a fantastic (and slightly mindblowing) experience.

    (I personally was in a halterneck with a corset under it, and I was rocking the Rack O’ Doom. :D And I could actually believe the compliments I was getting for once. It was like a miracle.)

    rhain, I’ve seen a few other people saying BFD is down today. So I don’t think it’s just you.

  75. So first, I once did bikram yoga next to RDJr. He was really good at it. At one point during the class, he stepped on my hand with his sweaty sweaty foot and apologized profusely. It was awesome.

    Second, yes, Mr. Machine should definitely grow a mustache of the 19th century. I think anachronistic facial hair is VERY hot. I’m not being facetious in the least. I used to have a boyfriend with this mustache. Loved it. He shaved it when his friends wouldn’t stop calling him Wade Boggs. It was a tragedy. Your man will have to have a steelier reserve than mine did. It also helps if he’s a BoSox fan.

  76. Also, since this is an open thread, I feel I should mention: I threw out the battery of my scale on Thursday. (Not the whole scale, like — let’s not go crazy here.) I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I WEIGH RIGHT NOW. I’ve been weighing myself 3-4 times a day for years. I am having withdrawal. Do I feel good about myself today? Do I feel bad about myself? I HAVE NO (otherwise meaningless) NUMBERS TO TELL ME. I have been eating FOODS and I do not know if they have made me BIGGER or SMALLER. *hands!* WHAT AM I TO DO?

    /is ridiculous

  77. Oh, no, that article is awful, fisticuffer! The spin they put on that… As if there’s not enough pressure on teenagers, particularly girls, to look a certain way. Now they have to be thin, or they will be FAT FOREVER! The last paragraph was rather confusing, too. What is it, article writing people? Am I fat because I eat too much and move too little or because of a complicated balance of things, most of which I cannot control? I also like how they told us the numbers of fat adults has increased sharply, without mentioning that the standard has changed. What crappy science writing, and from a website that’s devoted to scientific writing.

  78. It’s like visiting a small country. A small awesome country.

    IF WDW WERE A COUNTRY I WOULD SWEAR ALLEGIANCE AND THEN LIVE THERE FOR EVER AND EVER AMEN.

    Also! I was the only non-Catholic in a very Catholic family/school/country when I was in my teens. Good times, no?

    I also like how they told us the numbers of fat adults has increased sharply, without mentioning that the standard has changed.

    I do love how almost everyone leaves out that detail. I found out today that I’m (just) a normal weight by the pre-1998 definitions. Think how nearly the fatosphere managed to escape my presence altogether!

    i-geek: I went to the hair salon this afternoon, and made the mistake of flipping through a “women’s” magazine while waiting. Let’s see how long it takes to recover the brain cells.

    It hurts, doesn’t it? You can just feel them drifting blithely away, unregarded. In my old job all the women got together at lunchtime to talk about how little they were eating and read women’s magazines together. I WANTED TO DIE.

  79. I purposely bring a book when I go get froo-frooed, anywhere, because if I forget my own reading materials and end up having to blankly gaze at women twice my age oohing and aahing over Britney Spears’ exploits ONE MORE TIME I may call it quits on my people, teh wimmins.

    And last time I went to Disneyland I fantasized about working there. My addiction, she laughs at reality.

  80. Caitlin: “Also, since this is an open thread, I feel I should mention: I threw out the battery of my scale on Thursday. (Not the whole scale, like — let’s not go crazy here.) I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I WEIGH RIGHT NOW. I’ve been weighing myself 3-4 times a day for years. I am having withdrawal. Do I feel good about myself today? Do I feel bad about myself? I HAVE NO (otherwise meaningless) NUMBERS TO TELL ME. I have been eating FOODS and I do not know if they have made me BIGGER or SMALLER. *hands!* WHAT AM I TO DO?”

    Whatever you do, do not put the batteries back in. In fact, do yourself a favor and throw out the entire damn scale. You will never regret this.

    Now that I’m out of the parents’ house, I refuse to have a bathroom-type scale on my own property. (Fortunately the husband is of the mindset that the scales are pointless unless there’s a medical reason.) Due to insurance snafus and general laziness/busyness, I haven’t visited a doctor other than the student clinic in the past three years. They’ve never weighed me at the student clinic, so I don’t know what I weigh and haven’t since May 2005. It’s so incredibly freeing.

  81. I don’t know what I weigh and haven’t since May 2005. It’s so incredibly freeing.

    This inspires in me a feeling of admiration and mild panic.

    I can’t tell you how many times today I would have weighed myself if it hadn’t meant all the bother of getting out of revision-pyjamas and going down the road. I had NO IDEA how much of an addiction this was. It’s not like I’m trying to lose weight — I really am not anymore, and thank god for it — but I might have lost weight or I might have gained weight and I HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING. (I understand the theory of basing my opinion of how my body looks on, you know, my body as it looks in the mirror. I just haven’t practised the reality of it in so long I seem to have forgotten how.)

    I am aiming to throw the scales out for good one day. Much as I am aiming to throw out the shelf full of when-I-am-thinner clothes. Both of those thoughts panic me at this stage. But for now, the scales have no batteries, and I am a) not altering my instinctive eating or exercise routines in any way to try to fit into the skinny clothes and b) acknowledging that they very probably will never fit me, and I am okay with those as steps along the way.

    if I forget my own reading materials and end up having to blankly gaze at women twice my age oohing and aahing over Britney Spears’ exploits ONE MORE TIME I may call it quits on my people, teh wimmins.

    Seriously. I bring a book, and I pointedly open it and get into it from the word go. There is NOTHING WORSE than hairdresser banter. (Well, okay, there are many things worse. But few more mind-numbing.)

    It is possible I need to stop procrastinating revision, yo.

  82. I actually thought it was interesting because it seemed to show that once you got through the bs part, that there is not much you can do about weight.

  83. Time Machine, Caitlin, and phledge: Starting next month, I’ll be working (well, interning) at Disney World in Orlando. I get to take care of all the fishies and sea turtles and such at The Seas in Epcot. I’ll say hi to all of them for you! :-D :-D

  84. Was no one else bothered by all the sexism and racism in Iron Man? I mean, I liked the action and I thought RDJ was hot but … still. The fact that there were only two types of women in the movie (virgin and whores) and that the whores were equated with trash really got to me. I know hollywood action movies are all about enforcing gender roles (don’t get me started on the nationalism!) but for whatever reason, this movie just pissed me off more then normal. That’ll teach me for going to see hollywood action movies! :-)

    Even though my weekend is almost over, I did a lot of cycling. It was good. My legs hurt.

  85. The findings were really interesting, fisticuffer. Sorry, the state of science reporting is one of my pet peeves. Science writer people, I know that it is hard to acknowledge your biases and correct for them, but it is not _that_ hard. I would be interested to see the follow-up. I’d also like to see the studies finding out if the number of fat cells you have is affected by behavior during childhood or if it’s predetermined, and if the volume of those cells is something that’s predetermined. The fact that that article made assumptions about those things really, really irritated me.

    I just started watching TV again in the mornings, and I forgot how awful it is. I just spent way too long with some dude crowing about how he lost 35 pounds on Nutrisystem. He looked pretty much the same as his before picture, only now he had a tighter shirt on. I also didn’t believe him that the frozen, prepackaged meatloaf was good. Women’s magazines, though, have manipulation and abuse down to a science.

  86. I’m now properly on moderation. Wheeee! I’m piercing EVERYTHING.

    Starting next month, I’ll be working (well, interning) at Disney World in Orlando. I get to take care of all the fishies and sea turtles and such at The Seas in Epcot. I’ll say hi to all of them for you!

    *dies of envious joy*

  87. Caralyn Was no one else bothered by all the sexism and racism in Iron Man?

    The sexism, yeah, definitely bothered me. The racism, too, a bit (I’m white and female, so sexism gets to me before racism, yes, my own bias), but I’m not 100% sure of a good way to remake it without racism. Getting kidnapped by a fictional country made up primarily of white people?

    I’m sure there IS a way; I’m just not thinking hard enough to come up with one.

  88. Stephanie – isn’t that what aliens are for!? :-)

    We could have Iron Man fight a band of blood-thirsty, war-hungry green aliens … with Americans accents who don’t seem to notice someone welding person-shaped pieces of metal together.

    Iron Man could then fall madly in love with one of the “whores” … because she is comfortable with her sexuality/body and he thinks that’s cool. He’s also amazed with her killer science and math skills when she saves his ass from the bad guy in the big metal outfit.

  89. I’m going with teensy bunny. I have some cats though, so perhaps I’m so used to seeing them behave like kitties in love, I’ve been somewhat desensitized to the cute. I mean, I still think it’s cute, but a pocket-sized bunny, that’s hard to beat.

  90. I just expect sexism, racism, & other ism with movies based on older comic books. But as Stephanie mentioned, it’s sorta hard to have a primarily white country be a terrorist hole. I’m Korean and it is annoying to constantly now see the N Koreans(Norks) as the bad guys for some of the Rambo type movies.

    But they do make pretty good villains with their nuclear weapons posturing, their ‘leaders’ maniacal permed hair, and the people’s absolute(forced) worship of this pint sized dictator.

    The sexism does also annoy me but I try to tune it out. I didn’t understand the ‘trash’ part to the very capable female reporter from Gweneth.

  91. Does anyone else think that MTV just left this girl out because she was fat?

    and because it involved a romance with a “typically good looking guy”?

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