One Advantage to the Rack of Doom
2008 May 8
All right, all right, they’re actually talking about birds. (The kind that fly.) But even so, as a commenter over at Shakesville (whence I stole this) said, the real question is, how are the boobies faring?
(dies laughing)
I actually know a woman who wears a tee shirt that reads “nice tits” and has a pair of titmice on it.
Fun.
It is impossible to contemplate that somebody wrote that headline with a straight face.
This is my second favorite headline ever.
My favorite: College football: “It’s interesting,” says Everett native
Ice cream man has assets frozen.
On the BBC, no less!
*snort*
Tufted titmice are one of my favorite birds, for more reasons than one.
Hee! My favorite t-shirt, that I will have to get re-made because I got it second-hand, all stained and not suitable for public wearing…
two deer talking to each other, one with big antlers, the other with none:
NICE RACK
Ooh, bigmovesbabe, I want that T-shirt. I love clever stuff like that. My current favorites are a squirrel with a baseball bat and the caption “Protect your nuts!” and the 44th Unit Air Evac “You maul ‘em, We haul ‘em.” I found at the Salvation Army.
I have the one polo from the mental hospital in my hometown, but around here, people just haven’t heard of it, so it loses its funny.
I actually found a site selling those “Great Tit” shirts and thought I would share: http://www.cafepress.com/birdorable/4248874 They go up to a size 32/34 but I’m not sure if that is in all colors. I need to get me one! ^^
Somewhere there is a low-level BBC editor who is laughing his/her ass off that he/she got away with this. Editors–and I say this as one myself–have few such opportunities for fun. :)
My friend’s son has a onesie that says “Yay! Boobies!” on it.
That’s an awesome shirt. I think my favorite shirt ever was a camoflauge (sp?) shirt that said “Ha! Now you can’t see me!”
bigmovesbabe, I’ve already made myself a shirt like that only instead of deer, NICE RACK is spelled out in Scrabble tiles. Now to find a tournament to wear it to…
I almost thought we were talking about Blue-Footed Boobies for a second there. They are SO COOL in real life!
But, you know, tits are nice too… : )
Of there’s always this shirt at Threadless, which cracks me up, but which I’m also certain I would never wear.
I think it mostly funny just because “boobies” is a funny word all around.
Or* there’s always.
Wheeeeeee. I just woke up from a nap.
Ack, I know this is unrealated and that did make me laugh earlier, but I really felt the need to just scream about this somewhere. I get the feeling I’ll need to start a blog soon to scream about all the insanely fatphobic things people say and do.
I’ve just been watching ‘Child of Our Time’. It’s a british show where they will follow a selection of children until they are 20. The kids are 7/8 now and there was a show on ‘The Devide of the Sexes’. There was discussion on gender roles and analysis of what influences the children and so on. One of the excersizes involved children being shown a picture with 7 children on, ranging from, as they put it, ‘underweight’ to ‘overweight’. It was expected, but scary how many of the girls wanted to be underweight and painfully true when they said that the fat girl would have the least friends. When asked why she would have the least friends, one girl said it was because she looked mean (these were al the same drawn picture, same face, same outfit, just different body sizes). She said that fat people are mean.
They later have an experiment where they gave them six blocks each with a word on (healthy, rich, famous, kind, pretty/good looking, clever). They had to one by one get rid of the ones least important to them. Every single girl ended up with healthy and kind, but when asked why one girl said “If I threw healthyaway, the I’d be fat and try to be kind to my friends but they wouldn’t like me because no one really likes fat people.”
It’s just wrong on so many levels and these are seven and eight year olds. It’s so maddening. On this one there is also a girl who is very aware of her (perfectly healthy) body and says she is fat and talks about how she cvouldn’t wear the clothes her doll does because they wouldn’t fit properly (in a sense of, they would only be made to fit skinny girls, not literally the clothes that she puts on her dool). It’s heart-breaking, because she is smart and she seems to see it’s not how it should be, her mother seems very sensible about body image, but she still doesn’t have the mental equipment not to buy into it.
I am so sorry for the long off topic post, but I really needed to write this down somewhere!
I pity the ornithologist who has to try and find some information on the subject online.
OMG!!! I have to thank you ladies….this was just the medicine I needed. Having just started my cycle and feeling like something the dog left by the road, my funnybone really needed this kick in the pants.
On a semi t-shirt related note, my husband was looking at the BMI project slide show and just shook his head at some of the pics. He then (of course) found a site with a BMI calculator and started playing with it and got rather silly, things like; ‘what is the BMI for someone that is 4′0″ and weighs 800lb…or is 8′5″ and weighs 150lbs. He, by the way, checked his own…19.5!!
He also wanted to ask of the three pics at the top of the page here….is that a baby flavored doughnut? He also wants one of the t-shirts on here. I know him….he’ll wear it in public without a doubt!!
I pity the ornithologist who has to try and find some information on the subject online.
Ha, no kidding, Em. I don’t think turning on safe search would even begin to cut it.
I’m told, by an actual professional headline writer, that they live for stories like that. :)
*hugs SP tight* OhmigodIloveyouneverleave.
I’m on moderation on another blog. Because I! Am problematic! Don’t be exercising critical thinking, y’all, it hurts puppies.
Raft Tree, this is one of the things that terrifies me. I definitely intend to have kids one day, but I think to have your tiny child start talking about how fat they are would be approx. the most heartbreaking thing in life. It’s enough to make me start thinking about homeschooling. (Which I totally could not do, btw. “Now, what colour is the OH MY GOD, I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE WHY CAN’T YOU BE LEARNING CALCULUS??!” No one profits there.)
Caitlin: ” It’s enough to make me start thinking about homeschooling. (Which I totally could not do, btw. “Now, what colour is the OH MY GOD, I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE WHY CAN’T YOU BE LEARNING CALCULUS??!” No one profits there.)”
Yeah, if the husband and I ever have kids, I’m thinking they’ll be homeschooled. Our own experiences 15-25 years ago were bad enough, and we were both thin AND this was before ZOMG TEH FATZ CRISIS and NCLB. But we’re both biologists. Teaching history, for me at least, would be a disaster. “Yes honey, the Teapot Dome Scandal is apparently something you should learn about. I have no idea why. I don’t know what it is myself. I have a terrible memory for things like that, yet I have a PhD (admittedly in an unrelated subject). So apparently it didn’t hold me back and I don’t know why you should know this. Here, let’s look at the genetics text, shall we? Pretty double-helix.”
I totally saw this headline yesterday and screen-capped it to send to the dude I’m shagging as e-mail foreplay. Hilarious!
Haha, I just posted this on my livejournal last night. Best headline ever..
Caitlin, way to go getting put on moderation! Your critical-thinking-fu must be highly intimidating.
This has nothing to do with tits or boobies….
My husband has the “Protect your Nuts!!” t-shirt. He bought that in conjunction with a t-shirt featuring Big Bird, The Cookie Monster, Bert & Ernie and Oscar the Grouch skipping arm in arm, above them it says “Representin’ The Street”… HA HA HA!
I just want to make sure you’ve all seen this video. (Speaking of rack o’doom) I’m sure it’s made the rounds many times but it’s beyond awesome and today was the first time I’ve seen it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoBVdcadDxk
(Romanian musician insists on being given the food)
A tad heavy on the food porn but awesome nonetheless.
Thanks, fj! Apparently so! You know, I try so hard not to be shrieky and hysterical, but these damn ovaries keep getting in the way.
i-geek, you’re a biologist? *claps hands* Me tooooooo! It is the happiest science. :D I could teach most anything that wasn’t hard maths, I just would not have the organisation or patience for it.
hard maths
Crap, you’re in England, aren’t you.
So many great Shapelings in England. Good for England, bad for us.
Caitlin: “i-geek, you’re a biologist?”
Immunologist, to be specific. It does make me quite happy, and happy to meet another science geek. :) What’s your sub-field?
Whew. I just finished reading the archives and need to thank you. I read in almost every free moment for over a week (not a lot of free moments lately). Incredibly validating and important stuff here. I think I’ve been moving toward/into HAES (though I didn’t know to call it that) for a long time and am making peace with food, and my body. I started yoga in January and am truly enjoying an organized physical activity for the first time in my life. The message that it’s possible to be fat and fit and healthy is kind of mind-blowing for me–and it really helps to see your critical analyses of some of the pseudo-science that’s out there. I’m an ‘in-betweenie,’ and have always struggled with finding clothes–so I’m really enjoying all the clothing reviews and links as well.
Anyway–thank you! I’m so glad to be here.
My favorite T-shirt:
“What WOULDN’T Jesus Do?”
Underneath is a picture of our lord and savior hang-gliding.
Aw man, I’ve just realised I might be in moderation ’cause my comment had a couple of links in it. Gutted. And I was so enjoying pretending to be badass.
I guess I’m going to have to re-think the tattoo appointment. (And maybe the safety pin through my nose.)
Crap, you’re in England, aren’t you.
Heh. Scotland, actually, and Northern Ireland in the holidays. Very much hoping to live in the States someday, but alas not today.
i-geek ~ Oooh, immunology! How exciting. I did a course on immunology but it was for non-specialists, so it mostly consisted of showing us pictures of parasitic worms just after lunchtime. (I don’t know why either.) What aspect of immunology are you interested in?
What’s your sub-field?
Genetics! It is my favourite science. It makes all kinds of sense and I don’t have to care much about biochem. Hurrah!
It also makes for all the fun when people try to argue with me about how weight can’t possibly be genetic. (Try again, Sparky.)
I guess I’m going to have to re-think the tattoo appointment. (And maybe the safety pin through my nose.)
Do it just for Piggy Moo cred.
Ooh, I have a lovely tattoo of a cat, may I please join Piggy Moo? No safety pin jewelry, though. And I will have to bring two yappy little rat-dogs on tour, anybody mind?
Not if you refer to them as “yappy little rat-dogs”. :)
Do it just for Piggy Moo cred.
Let’s be honest, that’s the only reason I do anything.
Also, someone’s playing the beluga. This place makes me so happy I could cry.
Not if you refer to them as “yappy little rat-dogs”.
*headtilt* They have another name?
Back to the secondary subject of kids and the fatphobocracy: All this hatred of fat is very misogynistic, very un-Feminist. Right?
Friends of mine have been heard to say: “I want to have boys because trying to raise a girl to be sane in this culture is too scary!”
So…it leads directly to LESS GIRLS. To people who love girls, not wanting the responsibility of a girl in our diet-obsessed rape culture.
I only write about this to say, yes, HELL yes, there is a direct link between fatphobia and people not wanting to parent girls!!! Fatphobia is not just a LITTLE sexist and misogynistic; it is EXTREME.
KMTBERRY: “Friends of mine have been heard to say: “I want to have boys because trying to raise a girl to be sane in this culture is too scary!””
I’ve said it myself. I remember too well being a teenage girl, and I graduated from high school 12 years ago. It was bad enough then. I’m not sure I would have survived it if I were in the class of 2008. I can’t imagine watching a daughter go through that hell. Not that it’s so easy for boys, I guess, but this entire culture seems to be set up to put women in their place as silent, starving sex objects, and to teach men that women should be expected to behave as such.
Slightly off topic, but
I have a definite Rack of Doom. And when I was at my biggest, the girls were a 38G (not sure what the US equivalent is, but these mothas were huge). And I went into Marks & Spencer, the shop where pretty much all us brits buy bras.
Except for me that day – because all they had were minimiser bras. Which don’t work for me, as they basically tuck my tits under my arms and make them look smaller and flatter.
Anyway, this particular day I walked into the shop and browsed these ugly, surgical looking bras. I went up to the assistant and asked if there were any more bras in my size. She was about 16, bored, blatantly couldn’t give a shit about a fat girl wanting a nice bra. She said no, only the minimisers. And I was furious – at not being able to find nice underwear, at her rudeness, at life etc. So I practically shouted at her ‘Why would I want a minimiser? I have MAGNIFICENT breasts!’ and stomped off.
That was years ago, but it still makes me laugh. Still feels good.
Curvygirl: try Bravissimo. I’m willing to pay extra shipping to have them send stuff to the US. They don’t stock too much over a 38 band, but if you’re between a 30 and 38 band, they’ve got cup sizes up to K in some brands.
M&S’s selection sounds pretty much like what Macy’s (and JC Penney, etc.) here has for women over D-cup. My Rack of Doom wears a 30F (which isn’t made by mainstream US manufacturers) so I’m pretty much out of luck unless I shop online. And yeah, I don’t want minimizers either. Like the nice lady at Von Maur who sold me a 32E that actually fits pretty well (runs small in the band), women pay good money to have breasts like mine. I’m not going to smash them flat with ugly bras that cost the same as the pretty ones.
Hi i-geek
I’m a massive fan of Bravissimo – I’d been wearing the wrong bra for years before I went there. I’ve just been on their site looking for a swimsuit.
Like you say, why would anyone want to minimise these assets?
I just wanted to take this opportunity to say that my boyfriend prefers the term “Rack o magnificence” to “rack o doom.”
Which I thought was the fuckin cutest thing ever. :3
So I practically shouted at her ‘Why would I want a minimiser? I have MAGNIFICENT breasts!’ and stomped off.
Okay, first: AWESOME
And second, my breasts are not even that large (DD) and half the time all I can find are minimizing bras. I find this baffling. Why would I want to smother my poor girls? They never did anything to me.