Comments on: Ask Aunt Fattie: How can a fat woman find love?

By: kikatrixx

kikatrixx — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 17:32:27 +0000

I can assure you that if you dropped the “vegetarian” requirement in a man you’d find a lot more of them out there.
Most men arent vegetarian and those who are are almost always pressured into it by their girlfriends. The thinnies I know have no better luck in getting veg men than you.

I know quite few single guys right now, friends of my partner, who really resent that “nonsmoking vegetarian” requirement most women seem to have. I don’t smoke and I put up with my guy’s smoking [not in the bedroom of course!]. Why? Cos he’s a fantastic guy- and none of us is perfect. [I can understand "no smoking" actually, but "no meat" - jeez you are really putting in a tall order.]

How many men would love to bits a girlfriend who not only would let him barbie up a steak, but would also eat one too, instead of two lettuce leafs?

If being a veg is so important to you, then stick it out, but if you cna live with yr partner eating what he wants, without forcing you to eat it too of course! – then you’ll find your luck chanigng big time.
Of course, once you’re together you can start to entice him with your home made veg cooking.

By: Keeks

Keeks — Thu, 22 May 2008 18:38:50 +0000

I found my fiance at a nudist event.

He was impressed with me for exactly who I was, and for not being scared of it.

By: Dark Sarcasm

Dark Sarcasm — Thu, 22 May 2008 03:10:31 +0000

I’m nearly 30 – bossy, argumentative, funny, picky and outgoing. I’ve had plenty of casual sex but no boyfriends. I do like my single life, mostly – I have the Peter Pan never-grow-up thing despite being in a serious save-the-world type job. Sometimes though I would like to meet someone to travel with, to have great sex with, to fight with etc. I don’t want someone who loves me in spite of my fat because my fat is part of me and if you love someone, you love their fat too. As someone else said, I’m always the best friend and never the girlfriend. Apparently, the fat feminist woman that I am is too intimidating for most men, is what I’ve been told on countless occasions. Still, it’s better to be alone than with the wrong guy :-)

By: Jessie

Jessie — Mon, 19 May 2008 15:24:08 +0000

I met my husband while I was volunteering as an EMT. As a pretty shy person at the time (and I didn’t think too highly of myself – I was 60 lbs lighter than I am now but still hated my body and myself, etc. etc.), it was tough to get involved with the volunteer rescue squad, but it was one of the best things I ever did. I volunteered for almost 4 years before I met my husband, and in that time I made great friends, grew as a person and became stronger and more happy with myself. The night we first volunteered together, I did something I never did before – I made the first move. I was just so proud of myself for kissing a guy that I was really surprised that he actually asked for my number. We’ve been together now for 8 years (married for 4) and he’s told me he fell in love with me that night. Ironically, I only thought he was sort of cute that night – very much not the type I thought I liked. It took me a while to warm up to him during a year of long-distance dating but now I can’t imagine not being in love with him. I think for me opening up myself to new and difficult (but exciting!) experiences helped a lot.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 13 May 2008 07:12:26 +0000

I’m a 26-year-old virgin who has never been kissed or on a date. And I know it has to do with my weight, because I’m the sad person who has just given up on humanity.

I’m a lot like Agonizingly Alone in my ethics. I don’t believe in sex before marriage (my personal belief – I don’t expect anybody to hold to my own personal choice!) and I despise alcohol and bars. I’m not into clubs or dancing either.

At this point in my life, I feel that I will never meet anybody who will look past (or admire) my 300 pound body. I am trying to focus on finishing business school and starting a new career now.

By: fever2tell

fever2tell — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:04:37 +0000

Everybody’s advice is rad and very true. In addition to it, I’d add, take a class or join a club. It sounds terribly corny, but if you’re like me you may be outgoing but uncomfortable asking a guy out at a party or equally as uncomfortable in a manufactured situation like a bilnd date. If I’m in a situation where I’m “friends first” with a guy and I’m going to be seeing him over and over again in a situation where I feel relaxed and capable, then men are much easier to talk to. Plus, the more you widen your circle of friends the more likely you are to meet someone you like in the first place and since your interest are unique if you join your local vegetarian cooking club (or whatever) your chances of meeting somebody who shares them increases.

One more note, is it possible you are just assuming guys don’t want to talk to you? Sometimes we make excuses when what we were looking for was right under our nose… When you’re used to rejection you tend to expect it even when it’s not happening…

By: Embi

Embi — Mon, 12 May 2008 06:34:45 +0000

I’ve been where you are and feel your pain. The one thing I would say is “don’t drop your standards” – I had so little self-esteem in my 20s that I would hook up with any guy that showed any interest in me whatsoever. There were only about 5 of them as I was far from a sex goddess but it was enough to drive my self-esteem even lower. When I was 28, I thought “If I’m not going to have a normal life, I at least want an interesting life” and went overseas to study a foreign language with the aim of working in a new country. And that’s where I met the man who was to become my husband. My weight was never an issue; he thinks I’m gorgeous and curvaceous and sexy; but some of the stupid things I did in my 20s was!

By: Constance

Constance — Sun, 11 May 2008 15:13:30 +0000

“I wonder why no one has mentioned sites specifically for fat girls and the boys who love them. ”

I wondered the same thing. There are a few good ones such as BBWDatefinder.

By: thatgirl

thatgirl — Sun, 11 May 2008 06:30:29 +0000

I just have to say how great it has been reading all of these posts. I am 26 and have never been on a real date, only kissed 3 guys (all involved alcohol) and often feel totally hopeless about ever finding someone. But reading all of this gives me hope and best of all, lets me know i am not alone. Thanks!

By: raven

raven — Wed, 07 May 2008 09:57:27 +0000

i met my hubby on the internet. it seems like there’s a lot of that going around! i tried the more conventional sites, but i just didn’t find the right vibe. after i got onto a non-traditional site that was specific to what i’m interested in… there he was! and i can’t agree more that it’s best to tailor your online bio/interests so that you will get the select few gems that you’re most likely to click with. we have been together for 3 years next month, married last month. both of us are ecstatic to have found each other. (ok, really he found me.) but we also both agree that if we’d met any earlier, it wouldn’t have worked. we needed to be ready for each other, and i just wasn’t ready for him until we actually met. before then, i had serious plans w/a friend of mine to be crazy-old-dog-ladies-everyone’s-kids-were-scared-of… we considered being cat ladies, but she’s allergic.

(also, i’d like to point out that while fetishes aren’t everyone’s cup of tea… not all of us are crazy or creepy. at least i don’t THINK i’m crazy and creepy.)