I think what’s problematic for me, reading the comments that have unfolded already, is the suggestion above that one has no other options than to defend one’s lifestyle choices against the clear and obvious wrongness of other people’s opinions about something resembling one’s lifestyle.

Defending as an immediate and sole response to criticisism is fairly unhelpful, and can turn into arrogance and insularity without warning or intention.

That said, as a non-participant in this thread I’m saddened that this went down this way.

Quite possibly it’s none of my business, but…. I was under the impression that the two of you were friends. Maybe i’m weird, but i know if a friend of mine says something that makes me uncomfortable, or gives me reason to worry for/about them, i’m generally not particularly quiet about it. I certainly wouldn’t call her on it publicly.

Brandon, your comment was stuck in moderation, so I’m only getting to this now, but what the hell? Are you seriously implying that the problem here is Rachel’s critics hating ourselves and feeling guilty about what we eat? Wow.

But I don’t think things can improve, for ourselves – and certainly not for anyone else – unless we can tolerate a little bit the random triggering that’s the inevitable result of growing up and living in a culture that hates and fears fat.

Kate, I agree with this in principle–and as I said in my first comment above, I’ve stood up for people’s right (including my own) to talk about salad and exercise around here, even though we get some complaints about that. But Rachel has repeatedly said things that made me extremely uncomfortable with regard to her dietary choices–and as of yesterday, I now know they’ve made other readers uncomfortable, too–so I drew the line at my own blog. It’s really that simple.

My take on healthy life style: What’s healthy for one person is not for another. I don’t mind reading about Rachel’s diet and her lifestyle because it should be each to his/er own comfort and life. It’ll show those idiots who are always claiming that fat people don’t exercise and don’t eat veggies or fresh fruit.

But it is ok if you are a fat person who don’t eat veggies and fresh fruit nor exercise even if you know it’s not as good for your body according to what I know. Your choice was made for whatever reason and it isn’t anyone’s business what you do. I feel sad about people whose fat is preventing them from walking, moving, or physically living a full life but that is also their life choice. We should be ready to help people improve their lives but not judge them for ‘falling short of our expectations’.

I don’t know if Rachel mentions her lifestyle too much or not because I haven’t read other blogs with her comments on them. But it’s nice to hear different pov about lifestyle and how people live their lives. The message that I hear from the media, friends, doctors etc… is that there is one right way to eat according to scientific research.

I intellectually agree that eating veggies, fruits, whole grain, eating small serving of meat, and eating organic is probably good for your body but it feels like a barren lifestyle to me.

I go into ecstasy when I see and taste amazing foods, rich foods, fattening foods, and also low fat hi fiber ‘healthy’ great dishes. I adore my black Intelligentsia coffee with dark toffee/caramel chocolate or breakfast bagel or donuts but I can’t eat too much of it because I get sick.

I contain my eating not to conform to societal expectations or to lose weight but because I enjoy my foods more when I haven’t been eating too much. I periodically eat very little for days or a week so that I would refresh my palate and enjoy my food even more.

I love eating, period. I personally feel it is weird to stick to a very constant pattern of eating, for god’s sakes it is boring. I prefer to talk to people who share this pov but different people have different needs and that’s ok. I think the point is that it is ok if I don’t want to do bootcamp and eat bbq ribs everyday of a week which I have done. And it is equally ok if you exercise everyday and eat low fat vegetarian. But if you disapprove of me eating non-organic ribs every day, then I disapprove of you not eating non-organic ribs every day. ;)

But this thread reminds me. I once witnessed a train v. pedestrian accident. It was horrific and I’m pretty scarred by it. I still ride the train, but to this day I’m routinely “triggered” by random reminders that conjure it all up.

The point is, nobody could possibly make a train so safe that it won’t “trigger” me. And I can’t make the world free of reminders. Not while living in it. If I were to blog about trains it would “trigger” me all the time. Forever. That’s because, like I said, I’m scarred.

Fat phobia and fat hatred is scarring too. Profoundly. I read this thread and that’s what I keep hearing. Not a few people have dropped out of f.a. and/or the fatosphere altogether because they can’t think about these issues at all – even in an empowering way – and feel ok.. Is it any surprise that talk about fat and food that’s just neutral can also be triggering?

That’s the fault of the hatred, the fault of the culture. It isn’t Rachel’s fault. Rachel is a wonderful, thoughtful blogger to whom I’m grateful for a thousand contributions. I don’t agree with everything she writes, but that’s true of every blogger I know. Maybe she’s a health food nut. I have no idea. I haven’t read that in her posts. But if she – or anyone else here – were, so what? Are there to be no more fat health food nuts? How sad for us.

Unlike the people who drop out, people here have chosen to think about and read about and write about fat and food. In the hope that by understanding more and confronting more, things might improve. And that’s just incredibly brave and incredibly hard.

But I don’t think things can improve, for ourselves – and certainly not for anyone else – unless we can tolerate a little bit the random triggering that’s the inevitable result of growing up and living in a culture that hates and fears fat.

Even still, I would move to defend all of us – ALL of us – that these discussions and triggers are because of the society we live in. To me this really ISN’T an individual problem or even an interpersonal problem — this is about how we are each expected to conform in a society where our bodies and habits are viewed with suspicion.

Rachel and SCG and The Rotund and you and me and Kate and Deniselle and UTBT and whoever else has been caught reading this thread while fat are all eating and making choices in a culture that views us and our choices and our bodily cues as suspect. And I believe that underlies, in different directions, *each* of the frustrated comments here.

We each have unique and sometimes oppositional ways of dealing. I don’t think there are sides, here, not really. Just different coping strategies that have bumped up against one another somewhat painfully.