Friday Fluff: Remember that time?

About a week ago, the inestimable MissPrism left the following comment on the Piggy Moo post:

Hey, remember when the tour bus broke down in the Swiss Alps and we did an impromptu gig in that tiny chalet? And when the end of sciencechick’s trombone knocked Katia’s tiara into the fondue? I was laughing so much I could barely play my tubular bells solo.

What she doesn’t mention is that Sweet Machine actually fished the tiara out of the fondue and licked it off — that girl is mental for fancy cheeses. I was really glad for the distraction because I’d busted a seam in my fishnets being aggressively fat at an obnoxious tourist at the bar — which only served Hefeweizen, what the fuck? You guys remember that?

And what are your other fond memories of our tours?

(P.S. still looking for talented designers to do a Piggy Moo logo — something graphic that will play well on a black t-shirt. I like the CD designs you guys have come up with, but I’m looking for the kind of band logo you could get as a tattoo.)

41 thoughts on “Friday Fluff: Remember that time?

  1. yeah, I’m usually a LOT more careful with my trombone. must have been all those tequila slammers we did during dinner that night…

    who knew the swiss were such big Patron fans?

  2. Damn, I wish I could really draw. I have this adorable cow-spotted pig prancing around in my head for the logo.

    I’m totally joining the band, though (even though I’m late to the party). I sing (for reals!), and I play the vielle* (for reals too, though I’m sure I’m MUCH better in this band than I am in real life). BTW: The vielle is the predecessor of the violin family. Kinda like a viola with five strings–GUT strings *grin*. It’s cranky and big and hard to keep in tune, which strikes me as perfect for a fat punk band. :^D

    I joined the band when one of the other singers strained one of her vocal chords (the left one) yodelling in the alps. Since (at least) a dozen singers clearly wouldn’t be enough, you guys flew me in from the states to bulk up the vocals (*ahem*). I showed up in my sparkly blue dress (for reals) that plunges to *there* in the front, with my faaaabulous corset over, and the kick-ass high heeled boots I can’t really wear in real life. My butt-length straight auburn hair (true) is worn down, and somehow miraculously never gets tangled, despite all the dancing around on stage I do.

    My favorite memory of the band is playing in Spain, at the Plaza Major (“big place”–where ELSE would we play??). We drowned out all of the other bands, and eventually everyone there was listening to us because we were so awesome. Our fans were so appreciative that they gave us oceans of sangria and endless rounds of tapas, including that fabulous deep-fried brie with raspberry sauce I remember (also true–one of the most awesome things I’ve ever eaten).

    Man, that was so much fun. When do we go back on tour?

  3. Remember when our six tour buses got chased out of that little German town (was it Scnitzelbergen?) by six angry dads in liederhosen? I have no idea how they all squeezed into that one SmartCar. I swear I didn’t mean to flirt with their daughters THAT much, but I know none of y’all believe me, STILL. I had no idea they kept so many torches and pitchforks on hand to defend the purity of their girls from drunken, flirtatious lesbians! After playing that little Oktoberfest and getting so smashed, I was surpised we made it out of there alive without driving down the Alps. What a great time!!

  4. B: Oh yes! And it turned out that one of the daughters had actually stowed away on the third bus! She came with us as far as Venice, I think. Damn fine drummer.

    Ooh! Remember when we took all the knickers the audience threw at us in Sydney and sewed them together and made a hot air balloon? There was a bit of fuss when we crash-landed on the harbour bridge, but weren’t the views stunning?

  5. I’ll never forget that night in Billings. I mean I feel bad about the fire and all but they were the ones who organized that fireworks display in our honor.

    Really how were we supposed to know that it wasn’t an invitation to respond with our *own* display, or that it was a dry season…

  6. Remember when we were on that long bus trip across Texas and we stayed up all night smoking pot and eating baby flavored donuts? And then I thought I was a leprechaun, and wanted to show everybody my pot of gold, which turned out to be me peeing on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. And then we were all just amazed by the stars that we spent like an hour just standing around staring at the milky way.

    Good times.

  7. Oh, remember that night in Houston when we played in that club? This jerk was giving me crap for being fat at him, so I used my amazing soprano skills to knock him into next week. And then this totally hot guy (who, of course, is all kinds of intelligent and in the FA movement) rolls up on me and says he was admiring my amazingness from afar and wanted to buy me a drink…next thing I know, you guys were having to pull me out of this amazing makeout session we were having in his backseat because we had to do another set.

    Man, was I wasted that night…

  8. I’ll never forget when we were asked to be on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet. We had finished our hit smash “Take This BMI and Shove It” when we went over to sit down for an interview. Of course, the show had to trot out MeMe Roth, who announced she was going to call for a boycott of the band because we were “glorifying obesity.” But things took a very surprising turn when live on the air, I picked up my xylophone and threw it at her. I almost busted out of my leather tube dress, but it’s not like people have seen a rack o’doom before. When I threatened to tie her up, take her on our tour bus, drive her to McDonald’s and force feed her Big Macs until she gained 45 lbs, she promised she would no longer talk about fat people again.

    Two days later, the news reported she had retreated to a cave in Siberia. Not eating of course. In the meantime, our band got flooded with calls from Torrid, LB, Igigi, B.Lu, etc. insisting we be their spokesgroup. My outburst made it all worth it.

  9. Remember the night our buses broke down in the middle of the Outback of Australia, and we all pulled out our swags and lay under the stars? I remember counting all those shooting stars and making up constellations and how it seemed like we were looking at eternity – surely you remember that time, right FJ?

  10. The Vanity Fair layout was a little weird. I mean, it was great that we got to keep the Igigi outfits and all, but it took forever and the crafts services kid snickered when I ordered a salad. Who was it who threatened to kick his ass between his shoulder blades?

    Anyway the after parties more than made up for it – and we met that guy who had the Piggy Moo logo tattooed on his ass.

  11. Anna, I remember that night too! Shinobi pointed out that Orion looks just like Meme Roth being tied to a donut tree… and she was so right!

  12. The Rock Hall of Fame induction! I mean, as if having Aretha make the train trip to Cleveland to introduce us wasn’t enough to make me crap my undershorts, that stupid temp roadie we hired took the M&M necklaces out of the freezer too soon and they melted under the hot lights while we were doing the shimmy intro to “Beautiful Goddamnit.” Chocolate all over the place. But all was saved when Beth Ditto made her way to the stage to start licking it off us, and then James Marsters followed suit, and then all those hungry stars ‘n’ starlets who’d been starving for the last three days trying to fit into their formalware couldn’t stand it any more and they had to get their licks in too! Not a drop was left, not a candy coating shell left behind! They even cleaned off all our instruments after we unplugged so they wouldn’t get electrocuted. Woooh! I shall treasure John Fogerty’s tongue prints on my dulcimer always.

  13. Remember when our second bus got a flat tire outside of Omaha and we discovered that the spare tire had a flat too? But luckily the Motley Crue bus happened upon us, and Nikki Sixx offered us their spare and insisted on putting it on himself. That was awesome.

  14. You ladies are all seriously made of win and awesomesauce.

    Remember when we toured Japan, and while we were there, our song “Win and Awesomesauce” made it to the top of the Japanese music charts? So then they had a Karaoke competition of our songs in downtown Tokyo, and we tried to sneakily participate, and then we lost because the Japanese knew our songs better than we did?

    And so then we took the winners of the Karaoke competition, and Hirano Aya and Tokyo Jihen and we held that epic, spontaneous joint concert? Just because we could?

  15. TM that was an awesome night. Though I will never look at Sake the same again.

    I’m so glad it inspired our other hit song “Karaoke is for Lovers” cause I’m still spending THAT money.

  16. Russell T. Davies wants us for the third season of Torchwood. Word is, we’re going to guest star as an alien rock band hungry for, well, anything! We also get to makeout with every cast member in a controversial orgy scene that will involve chocolate, cheese, and baby-flavored donuts.

  17. It’s really too bad I was too drunk to remember most of these! But I definitely remember the diva-licious fit we threw that time in Milwaukee, when we realized that the baby donuts in the dressing room weren’t filled with organic, free-range babies. God, that poor stage manager. I’m sure he never realized that a tambourine would even FIT in there.

    I think the moment I realized we’d really made it was that time Tom Petty called and asked if he could open for us.

    Man, I’m so glad Piggy Moo ran a want ad in my local newspaper trying to find a fat chick who could beat-box while wearing six-inch platforms and balancing a stack of books on her head. Otherwise I’d probably still be toiling away in college!

  18. Right. This is all too cool and I must meet some other Piggy Moo members in real life and buy them calorific drinks.
    London’s my nearest big city, is anyone else within reach?

  19. Russell T. Davies wants us for the third season of Torchwood. Word is, we’re going to guest star as an alien rock band hungry for, well, anything! We also get to makeout with every cast member in a controversial orgy scene that will involve chocolate, cheese, and baby-flavored donuts.

    I know – I can’t wait until we get our advance scripts! I did have a sneaky talk with Mr. Davies, and apparently the same episode is going to feature guest stars Dawn French and Alan Rickman.

    It’ll be interesting seeing Alan Rickman again, what with what happened last time…

  20. Right. This is all too cool and I must meet some other Piggy Moo members in real life and buy them calorific drinks.
    London’s my nearest big city, is anyone else within reach?

    See, this is why we need a message board. SO MUCH.

  21. I’ll never forget the photo shoot we did for Bust where we all wore belly shirts and I magic markered “STRETCH MARKS RAWK” on my gut. Deb Stoller even knit us Piggy Moo logo skullcaps!

  22. Oh, come on, you guys have to remember the concert we filmed for Bono’s RED campaign! The one where we were all stark naked but for ass-kicking red shoes and wigs, playing all red instruments in the middle of the Sahara? Where the videographer had one helluva time trying to catch a nipple-free angle for the network TV promos? And we wound up with those, er, hilarious (?) sunburns…and the tourbuses smelled like aloe for a month?

  23. Do you guys remember that time we played and had Beyonce announce us, and she called us “the Queen” and Aretha Franklin got mad?

    What about that time we were playing in Belgium, and I tried to invite a contraption that would let me drink vodka and play bass at the same time, but it spilt on the guitar amp, which then blew up? No one was hurt though, and it turned out to be filled with donuts? That was a good day.

  24. I’ll never forget that first video shoot for “Being Fat at You!” (Which is so my favorite of our songs.) Did they ever find that escaped lemur? And I bet the hit fudge Jacuzzi was a bitch to clean up, but we sure had a good time. Thanks for letting me play the pots and pans on that track. I think that was just what the percussion track needed.

  25. So many memories, so few brain cells left… I think the Piggy Moo retrospective at the Experience Music Project, when we performed “Opiggity Friademic” for the first time from the top of the Space Needle — really, right there on the top, held in place by rigging, and then rappelled down to the thousands of fans, I’ve never felt so loved and so scared simultaneously before in my life. I almost landed on shinobi, and Meowser’s mountain dulcimer almost ended up in my ass, if the two harpists hadn’t landed at exactly the right angle. Thank goodness for all of the Top Pot pink feather boa baby-flavored donuts that had been dropped before we landed, it made for a soft (and delicious, if sticky) landing.

  26. *so. much. laughing*

    So many memories! Oh man though do you remember that show in DC when Meme Roth actually SNUCK into the show and was spotted in the front row? Outted as a closet-fat-lover right in front of the nation’s capital?? Good times….and then as she was dragged out screaming “NO. NOOO! They haven’t thrown the cupcakes yet!!!” I just totally lost it during my trumpet solo.. mmm what ever happend to all those cupcakes we used to throw out during “I’m being fat at you?”

  27. Whoa, “I’m Being Fat At You” is so one of my favorite songs! I sang it to Michael Buble and he totally fell in love with me and followed us around on our tour for a month.
    Speaking of which, I think that’s him tapping on my window right now, hehe

    This thread is making laugh so hard…I love you guys, you’re all made of everything that is awesome in this world.

  28. MissPrism, I’m in London! Fancy a jar? I was meant to meet up with some girlies from fatshionista before Christmas and couldn’t go as I went down with the Cold From Hell.

  29. Wait, wait, you all seem to be forgetting that time the Stones opened for us in Moscow, and then asked if they could cover “Infectious Fatness” on their next album!

  30. Wait, wait, you all seem to be forgetting that time the Stones opened for us in Moscow, and then asked if they could cover “Infectious Fatness” on their next album!

    Yeah, but the Stones cover will never be as good as our version.

    Good times….and then as she was dragged out screaming “NO. NOOO! They haven’t thrown the cupcakes yet!!!” I just totally lost it during my trumpet solo.. mmm what ever happend to all those cupcakes we used to throw out during “I’m being fat at you?”

    The cupcakes with the totally edible babies inside them? Oh, wow! Those were the best cupcakes ever! Remember that time we had left-over cupcakes, so we decided to debut our new song early and started playing “Infatuation” (I love that one) and just kept throwing the cupcakes out during that one as well? And the crowd got so excited that they started dancing and they danced right up onto the stage with us?

  31. Wait, wait, you all seem to be forgetting that time the Stones opened for us in Moscow, and then asked if they could cover “Infectious Fatness” on their next album!

    Yeah, and Mick wrote “Skinny Boy’s Dream” for that album and we all knew whom he was talking about.

  32. buffpuff – yes, beer in London sometime would be great! Any others nearby?
    (Apologies for cluttering up FJ’s thread with Brit-specific comments!)

  33. Hmph. Yeah, that Swiss Alps chalet gig was a lot of fun… until Sweet Machine decided to frisbee-toss the licked-off tiara straight into the bell of my sousaphone! It slid right down and got stuck in the innards!

    And do you know how hard it is to get cheese fondue out of the insides of a sousaphone???? I spent all night washing it out in that ridiculous little tub up there!

    You still owe me a slice of chocolate torte for that….

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