Steve, I agree with you in principle — obviously, ’cause I wrote the post. But that’s part of the problem here. I wrote a post on how I don’t believe there are “good” and “bad” fatties, on how I absolutely see the pitfall of going down that road, about how I think we should all be conscious of not letting that division happen — and fortunately, I don’t think it IS happening among fat bloggers right now.

And somehow, that got turned into a comment thread about me pushing the good/bad meme. I honestly don’t know how I could be more explicit than I was in this post.

Steve, I get what you’re saying — but isn’t that exactly what this post is doing in the first place? That is its sole purpose!

I can imagine that would be a hurtful thing to experience. Personally, I have a lot of trouble with implied statements in any discussion because I (ancedata alert *lol*) lost a good friend because she reacted to things she felt I implied, even when I clearly stated what I meant. And I guess I’ve felt this way about this whole debate…in my mind, there has to come a point when you know you are amongst friends when you (the collective you) have to trust that people are actually saying what they mean and that there is really is no negative subtext to it.

However, that’s probably too ideal a situation to work in real life as everyone comes to a conversation with their particular baggage. IMHO, the best we can do is just think before we speak and also keep others comments in perspective.

And I agree 100% with Becky in answer to Jae’s question:

“in case you missed it: It’s different because eating processed food is considered a bad unhealthy thing that bad unhealthy fat people do. So when you say it’s crap, it’s more than just a personal opinion, it carries with it the weight of societal judgement even if you don’t mean it to. Now, I’m the first to admit that I’m probably oversensitive when it comes to these things,”

Again it is not on the same par, but to me it’s sort of like “you’re so skinny” vs. “you’re so fat.” Both shouldn’t be said but in our society the fat comment is “worse.” And as Becky said, the band statement is clearly a matter of opinion that probably isn’t going to hurt anybody’s feelings in this context (it’s not like you’re trolling a fanboard of that band), whereas food is a very loaded topic especially in an FA discussion.

And I want to underline that I think it’s certainly possible to discuss all of the stuff you guys want to discuss–HAES, exercise, eating a balanced, healthy diet however you define it, or the frustration of nobody believing you when you say you don’t eat much–in terms that may be less potentially alienating or judgmental. I do know nobody means to be judgmental anyway; this is a great community and again this is just my 2 cents.

(Becky, I agree we are totally on the same page and I wish I could say anything without taking 12398470234 words to do it. I should probably just let your comments stand because I don’t think I’m really adding anything. :) )

I already said that, but in case you missed it: It’s different because eating processed food is considered a bad unhealthy thing that bad unhealthy fat people do. So when you say it’s crap, it’s more than just a personal opinion, it carries with it the weight of societal judgement even if you don’t mean it to. Now, I’m the first to admit that I’m probably oversensitive when it comes to these things, but it’s just hard to have everybody criticise your food choices in real life and then come on to an FA site and feel like they’re being criticised there too. I’m not saying nobody should ever be able to say anything without passing it through 10 offensiveness filters (that’s how I tend to do it, but that’s just me, heh), but on an FA blog you know people are going to be sensitive about food and weight issues, it doesn’t hurt to choose your words accordingly.

And spacedcowgirl, you seriously said everything I was thinking <3

And when is vodka ever a bad idea? ;)

I may be over-simplifying here, but just out of curiousity, how is this any different than me for example saying: “I never listen to (Insert Band Name Here); their music is crap.” When I say this, everyone knows it is just my opinion. Anyone is free to disagree or even debate the point if they felt up to it, but at the end of the day I can still think their music is crap without having to say, “I realize that other’s are big fans and think they are musical geniuses, but I think they are crap.” If someone challenges me and I refuse to acknowledge that this is only my opinion and I insist the my words are the definitive ones, than I’m just an asshole who probably shouldn’t be paid much mind.

So how is a statement like, “I’d never eat that processed crap,” any different? Obviously it would be the speaker’s opinion as to whether it was crap or not, and if they insisted that anyone who didn’t agree with them was a morally-bankrupt idiot…shouldn’t that person be ignored?

I don’t know, maybe I’m making too light of things, but I wonder where we draw the line. I don’t adovate acting like an ass because you assume everyone knows you have the best of intentions, but how much do we have to qualify what we say with assurances that we know that others may disagree?