Comments on: Saturday Fluff: Snappy answers to stupid questions

By: Maria

Maria — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 00:20:46 +0000

This thread is such a comfort to me. I thought I was the only one that attracted rude comments.

The only time I’ve been successful in coming back with a smart remark was one prepared by a good friend of mine in advance. I ‘m a bit of a loner, happy without a man but my cousins who all got married to their high school sweethearts can’t quite get their heads around this. They think it is odd. Anyway at this family gathering as predicted my cousin asked me where my “boyfriend” was knowing full well it would embarrass me. But I turned, smiled sweetly and replied “he’s with his wife & kids tonight”.

My cousin still said it tthe next time we met and now I just sigh and say him to him, you know what you ask me that all the time.
Six months later his wife left him.

I’ve been called a dog etc from teenage boys, but it’s never been in such a way that I can pin them down and confront them. It’s sort of been under the breath stuff. But one day I will turn and ask them why they called me that, would they want their mother or sister harrassed in such a way, and if they’ve looked at themselves lately. I think most of the time these people are not called up on it, relying on the notion that the victim is so mortified and embarrassed that they won’t get a rebuttal, and (wrongly) think they are smart in front of their friends.

I often wonder what these youths think when they are older, whether they realise they were cruel dickheads.

By: jeanne

jeanne — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 17:41:08 +0000

“Oh- Are we having a state the obvious contest, Little Dick? I win.”

DivaJean, I hope you won’t mind if I use this when/if the occasion merits. Dorothy Parker would be proud of you.

By: fillyjonk

fillyjonk — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:13:23 +0000

“Because I eat too many children”.

10000 points!

By: peenerbambina

peenerbambina — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 15:43:11 +0000

My best ever comeback was to a snotty wee kid in the changing rooms at the gym. Can I just point out that he was indeed old enough to know better. Anyhoo, said child pointed to me and my friend in the showers and shouted “Two Fat Ladies!!!”, of course whilst we were both in our swim suits. As if this wasn’t bad enough, he then walks up to me and asks, in his best snotty kid voice, why I am so fat. To which I replied “Because I eat too many children”.

By: beckduer

beckduer — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 14:43:29 +0000

Cara said: “…an after-school special moment…”

Sorry, I’ve been sitting here reading all of these posts (several days late, I know) and silently going “Yeah! You tell ‘em! You rock!” And then I got to yours and I started laughing out loud. That so completely tickled me! (And you paired it with a “bless him”! Only thing better would have been a “bless his little heart”!)

By: Privilege. « Four Humours

Privilege. « Four Humours — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 23:19:31 +0000

[...] had several experiences that all have a common theme, and I wonder why. On a recent thread at Kate’s House of Terrorist Donuts I realized that I am at once coming from a place of privilege and coming from a place of minority. [...]

By: Cara

Cara — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:47:40 +0000

Coming to this thread late after a weekend away – you are ALL very clever! I never know what to say to someone who’s insulted me. I’m usually much too busy burning up with embarrasment / shaking with poorly controlled compressed rage …

A few years back some random woman got pissed off at my husband and I for a boring reason. Anyway, she flipped and screamed at me, “You’re fat and your boyfriend is ugly!”

I was mortified (especially as she actually followed me down the street to my office, continually yelling me how fat I am!) but after the fact I thought it was interesting that she picked my weight and my husband’s looks to insult. Like some sort of instinctive knowledge of what would hurt each gender most. Although, my husband was totally immune, because he’s hot and he knows it :)

In hindsight, nothing clever about this, but I wish I had just stood calmly and said, “What the hell is wrong with you? Can you hear how ignorant you sound?” or even just, “Feel better now? Got that tantrum all out of your system?”

I did, though, once tell a well-meaning but overjealous gym personal trainer who tried to explain to me in sincere and meaningful tones that salad = good and candy = bad, that I could absolutely guarantee that every fat person he ever met, including me, knew more about the calorie values and relative so-called ‘goodness’ of any food than his bony ass ever would. He took it on the chin, bless him – hopefully he had an after-school special moment and learned a little something. :)

By: curvygirl

curvygirl — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:36:04 +0000

People can be vile. I was cycling one day and a group of young lads drove past and shouted ‘fat bitch’ at me.
I’d like to say that I gave a witty comeback, but I just cried for 3 days.
Some time later (and a size 8) some guy leaned out of his car window and shouted ‘fat arse’. I flipped him my middle finger…
Thanks for the inspiration!

By: Meg Thornton

Meg Thornton — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 08:08:14 +0000

On the whole “skinny bitch” thing: my take is there are certain types of persons out there. On the one hand, there are thin women, who may or may not be aware of the privilege they’re buying into, but who don’t purposefully attempt to make life difficult for those who aren’t thin (at least, not any worse than the existing culture does). Then there are the Skinny Bitches, who are not only aware of their privilege, but tend to regard it as a badge of honour and an entitlement: because they are thin, they are entitled to be as rude as they like to anyone who isn’t thin; because they are thin they’re entitled to the attention of every man in the room, whether or not the man is partnered or indeed heterosexual; because they are thin, they are entitled never to be called on their behaviour, but rather deferred to like goddesses. They’re the type of person Cynthia Heimel described as “professional girls” back in the eighties – the ones who have not only bought into the status quo, but will fight vehemently against any atttempt to alter it.

As for responses to insults, I figure my best bet is just two words: “I’m sorry?”

Said in the correct tone (absolute and utter stunned amazement), it implies the following:

1) I cannot believe I just heard you correctly;
2) I cannot believe you just said that aloud, in public; and
3) I cannot believe you were allowed out in public without a keeper.

By: the politics of fat « the politics of fear

the politics of fat « the politics of fear — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 05:57:15 +0000

[...] a post over at Shapely Prose is what started me on this. go read the post if you can…really, it’s an excellent commentary, enriched by a great set of comments. they raise the interesting notion that while a lot of people refrain from making racist comments, it’s still pretty likely that folks will feel free to comment on your weight. [...]