Comments on: What would you tell your 14-year-old self?

By: Hrududu

Hrududu — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 12:05:30 +0000

Dear 14-year-old self,
Read every one of these posts.

(Luckily, I can still make that happen in time! Thank you all so much, you just made my day a million times better!)

By: bookbabe

bookbabe — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 07:59:08 +0000

I have told my younger self, “I am here for you. I will never leave you, any more than you can leave me. And I love you.

I wasn’t smoking anything when I said that. I actually saw my teenaged self in my mind’s eye, and in that light, offered my assurances.

That moment happened five years ago. I had just begun, at age 45, my current life–as a woman. So I was talking to the teenaged boy I was. I also said something else, for the first time: “I love you. Don’t forget that!”

By: Adieu mes amis « Pretty Little Girls

Adieu mes amis « Pretty Little Girls — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 08:40:11 +0000

[...] (letters to our 14-year-old selves) at Big Fat Deal. Also read its sister post, “What would you tell your 14-year-old self?” over at Shapely Prose. And then, to really get warm fuzzies, read the original 14-year-old [...]

By: Gingembre

Gingembre — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 10:39:42 +0000

Dear 14-year-old self

They’re wrong. You’re not hideous. You’re not unloveable, unlikeable or unfuckable. You’ve got fabulous hair (stop scraping it back, wear it loose, and lose the centre parting), your skin is holycrapPERFECT, and you have a cracking figure. You know when you pose around in your bedroom mirror trying to convince yourself that you could be pretty from a certain angle? You’re pretty from all angles, you dunce. Ten years from now you’re going to look at photos and pine for that body. Enjoy it while you got it.

Also, you are active and fit. You ride horses, walk and cycle. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Just because you can’t climb the damn rope or hit a ball, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your fitness levels.

I know you think now that you’ll never start smoking. But perhaps if I drop a hint in your ear now about the approaching asthma, you really won’t.

And – stop comparing yourself to the other girls. Really. You’re not at all like most of them, and that’s just fine.

By: Loveandlight

Loveandlight — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 02:57:07 +0000

One more thing to my FYOS about avoiding candidiasis: Stay away from that NutraSweet crap!

By: Self-Love…What A Beautiful Thing « PhotoPhobic

Self-Love…What A Beautiful Thing « PhotoPhobic — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 18:13:13 +0000

[...] And when I saw this entry over at Big Fat Deal…OMG. It struck such a chord with me (as it did for folks over at Kate’s as well as folks on their personal blogs) because I saw ME in that 14 year old [...]

By: Big Fat Deal » Our 14-Year-Old Responds

Big Fat Deal » Our 14-Year-Old Responds — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 14:04:31 +0000

[...] posted her question and answered it right here, and Shapely Prose got into the act right here. The original e-mailer has written back, and I’ll let her speak for herself. Wow. I [...]

By: A Sarah

A Sarah — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 12:38:46 +0000

Jane — Belated thanks for the tattoo recommendation! I really appreciate it. I think I will actually go to the same place you got yours. Woot!

By: Jenny's Pennies » Your friday food for thought served here

Jenny's Pennies » Your friday food for thought served here — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 11:32:44 +0000

[...] girl about how to accept your body. It got some real thoughtful and beautiful responses. Found via Shapely Prose, where the question also got great comments. Every where I look the beautiful people are the skinny [...]

By: msruth

msruth — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 21:54:57 +0000

Oh man, can of worms (these kind of things always make me feel emotional anyway because I always think if I could just have caught myself before the beauty magazine indoctrination could things have been different).
Coincidentally the 11th february was my birthday, and my 14th birthday was pretty much the origin of one of the most horrible times of my life (though looking back it seems just like a dream). In short, it was the start of some really vindictive bullying from my friends at the time which escalated into such aggressive emotional and physical abuse (once the boys in my class realised I was a pariah and got involved) that I had to be taken out of classes, escorted by a teacher between classes and eventually changing school, and it pretty much started in earnest on my 14th birthday.
So, obviously number 1 would be do not listen to these people, stop trying to win them back, they can smell the desperation and they love, and just stop and think whether you want them back. Keep going, it gets better and hard as it may be to believe this is all for the best, you will move through this and it will make you strong and will put you on the path to wonderful things and people that you wouldn’t have got without it.
2- You are not fat, you are not ugly, it is okay to like yourself. And it doesn’t matter anyway. There are a million things more important. concentrate on being kind and brave and generous and forget about the beauty rubbish, save your energy for the important things.

The thing that really scares me is what would my 14 year old self think of me? Would she be so horrified at how big I’d got? Repulsed by her future self? My views on beauty were even more skewed back then than they were at say 18. Would she see me as a horrible warning, an incentive to work harder diet more. That idea scares me.