I could have come back and asked what did you say? And if they repeated it or some other fat comment I could also just do the kill with kindess tactic of “Wow! THANK YOU! Gosh I don’t know how I’d get by if you weren’t giving up precious time in your busy lives to stand here and wait for me to come by.. you’ve changed my life! All this time I thought I was 5 months pregnant and gosh, I must just be REALLY fat!” and heck, maybe even offer a hug to the teen girls eh?

I’m very short.. 5′2″ and I live in the country of the world’s tallest people, the Dutch. They are mostly average to thin weighted people and they blame any fatness on their part to Americans. So as an American living here let’s say it’s not easy. According to BMI I’m like.. a cow.. but you know what? I’m SO NOT!

Teenagers are the worst. Adults seem to respect me or pretend to as they don’t make comments, but teens cannot help themselves.

You know the kind I’m sure.. they aren’t alone, they are in a cluster. They are just hanging around loitering in front of some store and people watch.

TWICE in the past month I’ve headed to the Subway restaurant (feel the irony here?) and had it happen twice. Once a group of teen girls and once a group of teen boys. I admit to being a paranoid person but both of these times it was so obviously not in my head. They were saying things abotu me as I walked by.. ahem FIVE months pregnant.

I’m a bitch too! I really wanted to turn around and be like, I didn’t catch that.. what did you say? See if they dare repeat it and if so call them on it in some way.

I never have. The first time with the girls I didn’t even walk into the restaurant, I kept going and hid in another store until they were gone. Why should I be ashamed of having a healthy sandwich from SUBWAY? I’ve had more respect walking into a McDonald’s!

I like to think it’s obvious I’m pregnant… I’ve actually lost weight and my fat just disappeared and got hard with baby… lucky me. I should have gone back and been like.. surely you weren’t making a fat comment to a pregnant woman?

You motivated me though.. next time I’m gonna confront. I can do it. I’m confident my Dutch is good enough to get a point across and if they want to try and fight me, I assume I can just use the age old “careful I might SIT on you” tactic!

I Really like the “that was rude, you must be SO embarassed” comeback. Added bonus it is also useful for family members!

I know…the people who make hateful comments have revealed themselves as lookist dipshits, who probably ARE less than secure in their masculinity or whathaveyou, but the problem is with their personalities, not their anatomy. It seems like the reverse of the chick who fearlessly speaks her mind on something like social justice or politics, or what an asshat George Bush is (for example, for example) and gets called a fat cunt or an ugly bitch or like that in retaliation. One of the infuriating aspects of retaliation that fails to address the substance of what the speaker has said is that it switches the battle from the real issue at stake.

I’m anticipating the objection that if lookist comments are made, it should be fair play to make lookist comments back, with the understanding that the original commenter should make the connection that hateful comments about appearance suck no matter whose body (parts) they target, but I think I prefer the approach that addresses what has actually been said, and that the true problem is with the speaker’s personality, not with whatever may or may not be in his pants.

I love m. leblanc’s “What the FUCK did you just say to me?” as well as Hax’s “Wow” and similar because to me they address the issue directly, rather than fighting injustice unjustly.

I’d like to propose “Wow, that’s the most heinous case of misplaced entitlement I’ve seen all week. You should be aware that you don’t have to suffer from the ill effects of your misshapen personality… I hear they’ve really improved lobotomies over the years.”

I’m still thrilled that I don’t hate myself anymore, that I believe that my discomfort and suffering was a real reaction to what I was doing to myself and not the expression of some innate weakness.

No failure to have an immediate repost is ever going to take that away.

(Which I totally wasn’t even at the time, just built like the Russian peasant stock I come from.)

I think we were both going to ignore it, until Mommy responded: “You shouldn’t say things like that SO LOUD.” My friend went nuts. She started yelling to me stuff like “Look, Emmy, that kid is ugly!” “Ugly people shouldn’t be so RUDE!” “Whoo, what an ugly, rude little kid!” Until I told her not to say that SO LOUD.

The child was in tears. I felt a little bad about that, but I hope Mommy learned the lesson that she needs to discourage Junior from saying things like that AT ALL. Especially since the lesson came from someone who is by all societal standards, very, very, pretty.

“What the fuck is your problem?”

“What the fuck did you just say to me?”

The second one is the one I use more. If you look angry, and even if you don’t, people are usually disinclined to repeat whatever they’ve just said, and slink away embarrassed. For good measure, as they walk away from me, I yell “yeah, get the FUCK out of my face, asshole.”

Ah, how I love being perceived as an angry unhinged bitch to everyone who might see me in such an interaction on the street.