Sigh… you can deprogram your Tivos now

It appears that Kate has been bumped from the show because of Heath Ledger up and dying.

How quickly the news moves these days.

Edited by Kate to add: Y’all, clearly, the death of a 28-year-old who had a young child is a tragedy, and all of us at Shapely Prose are sorry for Ledger’s family. But not everyone feels deeply affected by news of celebrity deaths. Fillyjonk didn’t feel that way, she was upset about me being bumped, and she was also posting in the middle of a busy work day because I was out and texted her with a request that she update the blog a.s.a.p. So I really don’t want to hear any more discussion of her supposed callousness.

135 thoughts on “Sigh… you can deprogram your Tivos now

  1. I’m so depressed about Heath Ledger, and now I’m ^2 depressed about no Kate on the Today Show. *Emergency Chocolate*

  2. Noooooooooooo!!!!! Both to Heath and to you getting bumped. Hope the story doesn’t die, because the publicity for HAES on the Today Show would have been awesome. But now you have time to plan the outfit for when they call you back, right?

  3. Wow. That changes things.

    Condolences to folks who knew Ledger.

    And sad that Kate’s not going to be on. We should rally for them to reschedule.

    *Emergency Chocolatex2*

  4. Rose, I agree. Yeah, sad that someone died, but how much of an impact is that really going to make compared to someone going on national TV supporting fat acceptance? And how much would people care if he wasn’t a famous actor?

  5. Well fart.

    I guess the bright side is that I don’t have to watch the Today Show. I really hate the Today Show. Such is the sacrifice I was willing to make.

    That’s very shocking and sad about Heath Ledger, too! Yikes.

  6. They’re going to do an entire show about Heath Ledger, now?

    I mean, it’s sad that he died and everything, but shit, Americans die in Iraq in the war every day, and if there were 20 of them dying there today, you’d still be on.

    Priorities…

  7. And how much would people care if he wasn’t a famous actor?

    Well, given that people die all the time every day, “Not at all.”

  8. Unfortunately now we will all have to deal not with reprogramming our sexual fantasies (well me anyway) but also with the media’s overreaction to anything relating to famous people.

    Car,
    Can I recommend adding Brie to your mashed potatoes, I find that it lifts the spirits as well as the calorie content.

  9. To be fair, my first thought was “holy shit, isn’t he like in his 20s?” But I found out about it practically the instant it happened (we’re kind of plugged in to the news in my office — not me, so much, because of my attention span, but the interns always tell me interesting stuff), so I’d gotten over it by the time I got Kate’s text. :)

  10. Oh, how very sad. I think anyone dying is sad – especially someone young and the father of a young child.

    Kate, even though it sucks, probably best you get bumped, because all anyone will remember is all the tribute stuff. Hopefully the message won’t be muddled and lost amongst the sadness on another day.

  11. I mean, it’s sad that he died and everything, but shit, Americans die in Iraq in the war every day, and if there were 20 of them dying there today, you’d still be on.

    WORD.

  12. ‘Course, if it hadn’t been off, they would have been CELEBRATORY mashed potatoes.

    Because you all know fatties will take any excuse to eat.

  13. It’s so sad that Kate won’t be on Today tomorrow now.

    Yes, I am pathetically proud that I came up with that all by myself. Going for the cheesy potatoes now.

  14. That is a bummer. I am sad Heath Ledger died, he was a very talented young actor and I was looking forward to seeing him in future films. I am sad for his daughter who won’t have a chance to know her daddy as she grows up.

    But come on NBC! As sad as Heath’s dying you have 4 hours and should have no problems having Kate on the show tomorrow. As much as I liked Heath, he wasn’t a head of state and in the long run, was only an actor and bumping an important issue on fat/size/body acceptance is downright not on.

  15. All right, I’ve held my tongue long enough.

    YOU PEOPLE ARE WEIRD!

    (Dan likes gorgonzola mashed potatoes. I don’t understand it and probably never will.)

  16. Heath who? Who is that? Why are we supposed to mourn every tv/movie actor who takes too many pills. Egad.

    Sorry your spot got canceled.

  17. It’s a simple matter of media economics – the networks know that people would rather hear about one dead celebrity than about one person making a positive difference for thousands.

  18. omgosh ;( I watch the Today show every morning… and I probably would have fainted (starstruck) upon seeing Kate’s name. Oh and It’s so soooooooooo sad to hear about Heath Ledger. Such is life I guess. *shrugs*

  19. I’m sorry to hear about Heath Ledger and about Kate’s being bumped. I’d hoped her segment would have been on YouTube or somewhere later because I’m the last person in the US not to have a Tivo or anything similar.

    And as much as I love brie, I’d rather have it on the side and have wasabi mashed potatoes. With enough wasabi to taste it – they’re wonderful.

  20. I do love this blog. And I am not an overly fond fan (or non-fan) of Keith Ledger. And I live in SoCal so I’m quite callous about the star-struck set. However, I have to admit, I found the original post callous indeed. (Sorry, but you asked.)

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  22. @Lesley: LOL… see? Not on the fan club list. I guess I was a put off by the recent posts here because so much of this blog is about having compassion for other human beings. But the posts about Kate being bumped seem to be of the attitude “it IS all about me” and not in an ironic self-effacing way. I think it’s great that the FA movement will have this chance (and it will come), but come on, people. Just because he’s a movie star doesn’t mean that his family and loved ones don’t deserve respect. I’m sorry, I feel like apologizing because I love the writers on this blog, but I do not like the smell of these posts.

  23. But the posts about Kate being bumped seem to be of the attitude “it IS all about me” and not in an ironic self-effacing way.

    Could be, if I were Kate.

  24. @filljonk: You know what I’m saying. You asked what we thought and we’re telling you. If you don’t like the answer, next time don’t ask and be callous anyway.

  25. I am sorry Kate won’t be on today especially since it probably means that they’ll feature a parade of pseudo-celebrity doctors (Dr Drew is on CNN right now) and people speculating on his death which is gross.

    I feel bad b/c he’s so young and b/c he has a young child and he was, imnsho, one of the best youngish famous actors today. And while it’s true that lots of people die every day, I think mourning celebrities is pretty normal for our culture. I’m sure some people have written lots of papers about them being stand ins and idealizations and such, but if you follow entertainment news at all you get to ‘know’ these people in a way that you don’t know other strangers. It’s weird for sure, but I think the idea that we should just shrug and remember that everyone dies is odd too. If an author or activist that people loved died suddenly at a young age, I would think it’s fine for it to be news.

    Like I said though, they’ll exploit the fuck out of it which is gross.

    And my first reading of the OP gave me an ick, but I understand.

  26. I don’t see how having a shitload of media coverage can possible show respect for Ledger or console his family. I’d rather here about an issue dear to my heart.

  27. Sniper, fwiw that’s where I’m at. When I slow down a little bit, instead of sitting here crying from stress in my office, I’m sure I’ll feel bad for Ledger’s actual family as a person’s family. But I loathe the media circus surrounding celebrity death.

  28. It never has been and never will be about respect, Sniper. It’s about rubbernecking and the human desire to peer rudely into other people’s lives.

    I agree, it’s not the death itself that makes me cynical, it’s the ridiculous, rude, callous way the media handles it that makes me disappointed they couldn’t find a place for Kate in their programming.

  29. Yeah, I fail to see how spending 4 hours gossiping on-air about a guy who just died equals “respecting his family.” In fact, I’d think just the opposite.

  30. you know, I wasn’t offended because you’re not appropirately upset by his death. I thought the original post came off a bit callous…less exasperated by the media circus around his death and more dismissive that anyone would care.

    And fwiw, I’m sorry that you had a trollsplosion today and that you’re job is stressing you, but that edit is passive-aggressive as all fuck. And it’s not cool to invite opinions and then change your post to make people who responded look unreasonable.

  31. As someone who’d rather respect a family’s right to grieve in privacy (and is generally turned off by celebrity culture anyway), I didn’t find the post callous at all. I found it accurate and succinct.

    Celebrity deaths are horrible, just like deaths from natural disasters, gang violence, famine, ethnic cleansing, religious conflict, and, say, war. But I’ve noticed that some of those deaths seem to matter more than others, and if anything is callous….it’s that.

  32. Someone dying > a show about fat acceptance

    Actually, people die every day. Even young people with children. When my brother’s Scout leader died in a car accident, leaving young children behind, nobody was bumped off the Today show to make room for that story. It is sad, but there’s no reason it should be national news.

    And it’s not cool to invite opinions and then change your post to make people who responded look unreasonable.
    Kate made the edit, not FJ.

  33. Er, I hate to ask this, but if it’s possible I’d like my responses deleted. At this point, I don’t want to continue the conversation. I want to respect Kate and Fillyjonk’s request, but I feel like people will be responding to my posts without all the info.

    If that’s not possible, or y’all don’t want to make a habit of it, I understand.

    Becky, that wasn’t the edit I was replying to, there was an earlier edit.

  34. @attrice: Ditto. I’m shocked as all shit at the reaction on this blog to all of this commentary. I’m flabbergasted. Jezus Keeryst, how much fucking colder can we get here? “ZOMG my best friend doesn’t get to go on TV — THE PURVEYORS of this shit that everyone is deriding!!!” What? Can anyone here spell “irony”? I don’t care if Kate deletes this post because she can’t take comments that were actually solicited. I’m sorry her ego was hurt by the Today Show cancelling on her. I’m sorry fillyjonk’s ego was hurt on behalf of Kate’s (wow, how meta). The tone of this conversation has revealed a lot to me about the writers here and …Wow. I’m just so aghast at the lack of compassion for general human beings — regardless of celebrity status. And then to get defensive about it too?? WTF, ladies?? Get over yourselves. How on earth do you expect to persuade people to have compassion for your cause when you can’t even scrape up compassion for other people? I mean, you are all sounding like Dan Savage — a lot funnier and hipper and detached than you think you are. Oh, and next time I have a shitty day at work, I’ll be sure to drop by here and let everyone know it, or better yet, take it out on dead people I don’t know. That sure will make my day feel worthwhile.

  35. Kate made the edit, not FJ.

    No, I think attrice was talking about an edit that was made prior to Kate’s …

    Anyway, *sigh*. I can’t imagine the roller coaster of emotions that Kate and the others went through today. I know I can’t remember the last time I got so excited for total strangers.

  36. Man! God, I just hope they don’t drop your appearance altogether! This is HUGE. (Your story, Kate, not Heath Ledger.)

  37. That blows, Kate. I was SO ready to watch you tomorrow.

    Incidentally, I think it was just yesterday that the Today show had a health, um, “expert” on from some magazine talking about “Fat Skinny People”. You wrote a groovy post about that once, right? I would’ve been REALLY nice to hear your voice on that show as a counterpoint to, well, EVERYTHING ELSE THEY BROADCAST ABOUT HEALTH.

    Are you going to reschedule?

  38. How on earth do you expect to persuade people to have compassion for your cause when you can’t even scrape up compassion for other people? I mean, you are all sounding like Dan Savage — a lot funnier and hipper and detached

    Wow. So not being deeply wounded by Heath Ledger’s death is akin to hating on an entire class of people. I call troll.

  39. they probably wont have 4 hours of heath, but they probably bumped the lower tier segments in favour of current event reporting. i wasnt upset you werent going to be on, they’ll have you back if they feel its worthwhile.

  40. Game Dame, you think the reaction here is cold? To the death of a total stranger? Unless there was some deleted ranting about what an awful person Mr. Ledger was and how stupid he was to die NOW when Kate was going to be on the Today Show, that reads as a bit of an overreaction.

    Frankly I tend not to prostrate myself in grief when people so wholly unconnected with me die. Death happens every single day in some peaceful, some violent, some painful ways and if an incredible opportunity for me was cut short because people need to pretend to care about someone who is among the thousands who died today, I’d be pretty pissed too.

  41. Attrice, sorry, but I’m going to leave your comments up because there are too many responses to them already. Thanks for not wanting to carry on with the arguing, though.

    I don’t care if Kate deletes this post because she can’t take comments that were actually solicited. I’m sorry her ego was hurt by the Today Show cancelling on her.

    You’re making some big assumptions about me there, GameDame.

    As I said, I’m very sorry for Ledger’s family. It’s tragic. I know Fillyjonk agrees with me on both points. But quite frankly, I am not personally affected by this, and I’m grateful for that, because real grief is absolutely horrible.

    Like FJ and others, I can’t stand the media circus around celebrity deaths, nor the inevitable co-optation of the family’s genuine grief by fans. If that makes me heartless, so be it.

  42. Game Dame, are you trying to tell us that if someone you were close to overdosed on drugs and died, that you would actually consider it an honor for them to be paraded all over the news like a freakshow 24/7 so people could sell more commercials? That’s how you “respect” someone? That’s how you “respect” their family?

    This is not like an ex-president dying. This is not like John Lennon being assassinated, because hello, that was an assassination. This is pure exploitation for the sake of ratings.

    And yeah, it pisses me off no end that they’re bumping Kate in order to do that. If that makes me an asshole, you’ll just have to scoop me up and throw me in asshole jail.

  43. they probably wont have 4 hours of heath, but they probably bumped the lower tier segments in favour of current event reporting.

    Yeah, exactly. Judging from how late they were booking me, I was probably the last one in and therefore the first one out.

  44. I really feel like the people who run this blog are less interested about personally appearing on the Today Show, and more interested about spreading the important word that is fat acceptance. Nothing I’ve read, seen, or heard (personally from Kate) makes me think that it’s an ego thing. I mean, shit, they are all writing in a blog, a medium that has very little potential for both monetary gain and ego-stroking. Does that make the message less important? Well, you tell me, and everyone else in this community that has gushed over and over again about how much their lives and outlooks have changed since they started reading this blog. And I believe, quite deeply, that Kate was most excited about helping people in that same way, on a way bigger scale. I totally didn’t hear callousness in the original post, pre-edit, when there was only a few comments. I just heard despair that the message wouldn’t reach the larger population.

    Well, that, and disgust (which I totally understand) that the media seems to be so enthralled with the failures and sufferings of celebrities.

    Kitten donuts, anyone?

  45. Kate, I understand.

    I’m gonna bow out now. So if any of youse replies to me, I’m not being an ass when I don’t respond. I’m just not reading.

  46. He’s dead, and that sucks, and I could make (and have made) comments about what celebrity means today, but really, they need the entire time to talk about it? Let’s wait and see how many pieces of fluff will still be played on the show tomorrow that you could have been in place of.

    I was looking forward to the piece. I’m not looking forward to the nauseating parade of tears to come over Ledger’s death.

  47. It’s okay if you all intentionally misunderstand the point of what I wrote. It’s all a Rorschach test anyway: revealing and pointless. I’ll bow out now. That seems to be the process around here.

  48. @Phledge: Kitten donuts?!? OMG, good thing I’d just swallowed that water or it would have been all over my screen! I love it, somehow it seems even more evil than baby-flavored donuts (of course, that makes me wonder what it says about me…other than that I’m far more likely to have kittens than babies in my life, by choice…). Anyway…

    I agree with many others above in not seeing the selfishness here. Kate had a fantastic opportunity to get the word out about a subject that she – and all of us here – are very passionate about. Of course she’d be upset about losing that opportunity, regardless of the reason. And personally, I think devoting wall-to-wall news coverage of a celebrity’s tragic death is terribly exploitational, and not the least bit respectful to the family. If your brother and son died of an overdose would you want the world to know, and to have to watch the discussion and condemnation of his actions? FSM forbid, if such a thing happened in my family, I’d want to deal with it in private – as I think most others would.

  49. Wow. A few people are getting carried away here. I read this post pre-edits too and I didn’t read anything wrong there. The death is sad. However, we all know the media coverage will be awful and not anything resembling respect.

    Also, the message that Kate could have gotten out to that particular audience would be powerful and important. As someone who has felt enormously helped since my discovery of this blog, I’m upset the spot for Kate was canceled. Those who thought FJ was being awful for feeling the same really read between the lines to take offense, in my mind.

    Speaking of being helped by this blog, after two winters of not having a decent coat (not because I couldn’t afford one but because my coats no longer fit my arms well but I refused to buy a new one because “I’ll lose weight soon and don’t want to waste money”). I had told my husband about some of the things I’d read here like the “Fantasy of Being Thin” and my husband said, “what would the blog people tell you about refusing to get a new coat because you think you don’t deserve it?” He then went with me and bought me a beautiful new Chocolate Brown coat, which is gorgeous and makes me feel wonderful. Now I don’t have to wear ponchos and Wraps, and shawls because I had nothing to fit on my arms when wearing my sweaters.

    This blog (and the others I have discovered because of it) has allowed me to start living again and see myself as a person of worth, no matter what my size. That is a message I think is worth wanting to have spread around. There are other people out there holding onto a fantasy life where things will get better “when they are thinner” and not living the life they have now. Other people are denying themselves a warm coat because they believe they aren’t worth spending the money when they plan on losing the weight soon.

    I’m going to go huddle in my beautiful coat and relurk again. I don’t know what it is about this blog that makes me feel like commenting, but you really bring out the passion in me. I usually read but don’t participate on the internet.

    Kim

  50. Kira, I have to give credit where it’s due: Lu made that up under the NYT post comments. But you’re right: I love kittens more than babies, so it seems fair that the most evil I can get is a kitten-eating fatty.

  51. “If that makes me an asshole, you’ll just have to scoop me up and throw me in asshole jail.”

    I wanna go to asshole jail, too.

    Seriously, I’m legitimitely sad that Heath Ledger has died, he was one of a handful of actors that I get a little fangirly about. But I’m more sorry that they bumped Kate, because the things she has to say are potentially have more impact in my life than Heath’s acting career.

    *shrug* And to be completely honest, neither bit of news changes my day any, I don’t know either of them.

    I mean, it’s kinda sad when someone “In the prime of their life” dies, but soldiers do that every day, in droves, and that barely gets a mention on the news.

    I don’t think it’s callous to be bitter about the media’s manipulation of every pseudo BREAKING STORY they come across, especially when real news, and stories about issues that actually have the potential to make a difference in people’s real lives gets ignored.

    ~Ash, the longwinded

  52. I don’t think it’s callous to be bitter about the media’s manipulation of every pseudo BREAKING STORY they come across, especially when real news, and stories about issues that actually have the potential to make a difference in people’s real lives gets ignored.

    I’m watching the news right now. First a story pushing fucking weight loss surgery as a cure for diabetes, then a Ledger story. Damned right I’m bitter.

  53. But quite frankly, I am not personally affected by this, and I’m grateful for that, because real grief is absolutely horrible.

    No kidding. I’m sad when famous people I admire die (RIP Madeleine L’Engle), but it has absolutely no relation to the feelings I have when people I actually know and love die. I’m sorry for Ledger’s family, and I was moved by his performance in Brokeback Mountain, but that’s the extent of my feelings about his death, personally. It’s sad. I’m also sorry it interferes with Kate’s chance to spread the message of FA to a larger audience. I don’t think those feelings are mutually exclusive.

  54. “…if such a thing happened in my family, I’d want to deal with it in private – as I think most others would.”

    Yup, me too. And I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I came to a blog (that I loved!) to see that my brother was being described as “some dead white guy.” Facts is facts, and that was a callous statement that you must have known was callous, or else you wouldn’t have added that final line. Nor would you have removed it altogether. You can feel however you like about a celebrity’s death, but if you write something that is callous, and you expect to be called out for being callous, it’s tough for you to be defensive when that’s exactly what people do.

  55. . I’m also sorry it interferes with Kate’s chance to spread the message of FA to a larger audience. I don’t think those feelings are mutually exclusive.

    Yes, they are, sweetmachine, and being able to hold more than one idea in your head at a time makes you worse than Hitler.

  56. I’m really bummed that Kate got bumped as well. Especially since the “coverage” is more than likely just going to be a glurge-fest, or breathless gawking at teh scandal.

  57. Just… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

    The story presented WLS as an entirely good thing, too. Not one word about failure rates, premature deaths, or permanent disability. Fuck.

  58. Oh, lemme guess. All they did was measure glucose response immediately after surgery, not 5 years or 10 years or so afterward. So what happens in 6 months or a year when the effect wears off? Are you supposed to have the surgery again?

    Here’s a fat hint, guys. If improved glucose response occurs within days after the surgery, then it has nothing to do with lost fat. You can’t lose any significant amount of fat that quickly; the rapid weight loss some people experience immediately after bariatric surgery has to do with water loss, and some muscle loss too, but mostly it’s water.

  59. Your analysis is far too deep, Meowser. Basically, there was this woman, see, and she was all fat and icky and diabetic before, but then she had this wonderful, wonderful surgery, and now she’s thin and beautiful. Birds bring her ballgowns and rainbows light her way.

  60. I just saw the WLS and diabetes piece before the Ledger death piece (West Coaster!). Sad on both. Definitely want the birds to bring me rainbows and baby donuts now.

    Thanks, Kate for the hugs. I say “yay” for the coat too, obviously.

    My wonderful husband really surprised me by using your blog to point out my own issues with self esteem. I had been reading him bits of your articles and telling him how I was feeling and then he goes and turns it around and tells me that I need to think about how I am behaving, shivering in the cold and saying I wish I had a coat that fit, but refusing to buy one–because I’m fat. He called me out on my inconsistency. I love him for that.

    Even better, I was trying on coats and one fit me (barely) and I considered getting it. Then I tried on the same coat at a larger size. I hesitated to get it because of the number on the tag– Larger than I have ever bought. However, the coat looked the same on me as the smaller size, but did not pull at the shoulders and would allow me to wear the thickest layers with no tightness in the arms at all. And with my husband’s quiet support, I ignored the icky number and bought the larger coat. And I feel great about it. No one will ever know or care what the number is on that coat. It looks and feels great on me and that’s what really matters. Yay me! And Yay Kate and the gang here for helping me get to this point. Kim

  61. Man, seeing Kate on TV would’ve rocked :( Well, I probably wouldn’t have seen it live since I’m headed to the other coast tomorrow but still.

    Anyway, it’s super cool that they did want you originally, Kate and even though this fell through, I’m sure you’ll be on TV and in the media lots. Why? Cause you’re purty 8)

    And smart or whatever.

  62. I too hope you get the exposure on television in the end. Good luck!

    And I don’t find it callous – of course it’s sad in a removed kind of way, but really that’s about as far as most celebrity deaths affect me…it’s always seemed kind of strange to me how worked up people get. Unless it was someone I loved like Mr. Rogers or Alan Funt and then I get a *little* misty. We’re humans and we can’t extend the same kind of grief for every sad thing that happens in the world or we’d all kill ourselves.

  63. I am sorry for the poor man’s death…I wasn’t a fan or a non-fan, but I liked all of the films I saw him in, and I hope that his family will find strength and comfort at this horrible moment. Especially since it seems that the media will only make it more difficult for them.

    But I am also sorry that we won’t be seeing Kate on TV tomorrow…I don’t understand why both his death and other stories can’t be featured, but I hope they are smart enough to have her on another time!

  64. Ok, there I go leaving for a few hours.

    Let’s talk about celebrities, which I think that the writers of SP have (slightly) become. I called my mom to ask if she would dvr the show for me, even though I probably wouldn’t be able to see if until the next time I am in Chicago.

    Me: Puhleassse dvr this show for me tomorrow!
    Mom: Um, do you even know her?
    Me: No, but I feel like I do!

    Rotund: I am so glad that you will be trying the blue cheese mashed potatoes. If you ever want it, I have a great recipe for bite-size potato and blue cheese puffs that are rolled in panko and baked.

  65. Kate, I hope you get rescheduled. But Heath Ledger was one of my favorite actors. I never got around to seeing Casanova, but 10 Things I Hate About You is my 90s romantic comedy (for the person who generally doesn’t like to waste her time on romantic comedies). I REALLY REALLY wanted to see him in The Dark Knight with Christian Bale. The previews looked so damn good.

    At least Kate didn’t get bumped for one of those celebrities (you know who they are).

  66. Crispy Potato Puffs, from Cottage Living, 12/06:

    Makes about 3 dozen

    2 large baking potatoes peeled and cut into large chunks
    2 TBSP unsalted butter
    1/2 cup milk
    4 ounces crumbled blue cheese
    salt and pepper to taste
    2 large eggs, lightly beaten
    2 cups panko

    boil the potatoes and cook until tender. Drain. Return potatoes to pot and mash until smooth. Add milk and butter over low heat and mash until butter melts. Remove from heat and add blue cheese.

    Whisk eggs together with salt and pepper. Put breadcrumbs on large plate.

    Lightly flour hands and form about 1 TBSP of potatoes into ball. Dip in egg to lightly coat, then dredge in breadcrumbs on all sides. Place on greased cookie sheet. Repeat until done.

    Cover pan loosely and put in fridge for at least an hour before baking. Bake at 425 for 15 minutes, flip gently and bake for 7-10 minutes more.

    MMMM. I always add more blue cheese, and one clove of crushed garlic.

  67. Oh no… I just saw Kate’s reply in the middle of all the hootyhah upstream that they didn’t make an offer for a reschedule. Fuckity fuck. Crossing my fingers they do. I thought it might be better to be a guest on a slower news day (take the parading of Ledger’s death = “news” as you will) but I guess I didn’t imagine they’d just drop you altogether. I’m kinda naive that way.

  68. THANK YOU, Kristin!

    Javamama, there’s still some hope. Roni Rabin wrote another article inspired by First, Do No Harm, which will be running in the WaPo on the 29th. So that’ll make one part of all this news again. That’s the big problem with getting media attention — there needs to be a hook. One that’s less than a day old, evidently.

    It’s also why it took this article so long to come out — you can always bump the thing that’s not especially timely for something that is.

    All understandable, but a bummer.

  69. You know, to those who are still upset about the phrase “up and died” (including someone new I just deleted), I’ve got a story for you.

    The day my mom died, we had to sit around making phone calls to friends and extended family telling them about it. We tried to split up the duties evenly, but it soon became clear that some of us were better at it than others. I could hold it together pretty well on the phone, as it turned out, which did not in any way suggest I wasn’t grieving deeply for my mom.

    My dad, on the other hand, was taken off of phone duty when he called a family friend, struggled for words, and finally said, “Pat… up and died on me.” Then burst into tears and couldn’t continue.

    You want to tell me that’s because my dad was cold and unfeeling and didn’t care about my mother’s death, you can feel free to fuck right off and never come back.

    It’s a phrase. It’s a thing. It comes to people’s minds when someone dies. It does not make them bad people.

  70. Lucizoe, you get Jane Austen Points for saying “people so wholly unconnected with me.” Love it.

    I’m sorry about this young man’s death but disappointed that Kate was bumped. I believe there will be other chances as the movement grows and Kate herself ascends into fame.

    Reading about mashed potatoes totally made me eat mashed potatoes for dinner. No brie, mixed herbs instead.

  71. @kateharding, re: second article:

    That’s awesome. Maybe somebody else will see her and decide to get in on the act. To look at it cynically :the “Obesity Epidemic” such big news, but with everybody already talking about it there’s got to be some appeal to having the new angle.

  72. Sometimes seemingly “callous” language is the easiest to use, especially when you are deeply effected. My dad was diagnosed with brain cancer at the beginning of 2007, and when he was originally diagnosed, docs were telling us it was only a matter of months before he was going to up and die. They were confused, but I did spend a few of those months having to explain this to people. Whenever someone would ask how he was, my answer was generally “Fucking crazy.” ‘Cause he was — between the tumor itself, the pain medication he was on, chemo & radiation scrambling his brain, plus a lifetime of illegal drug use…the guy was off his rocker.

    Am I a bad person? Do I love him any less? Was his condition any less serious? No, no, no. But I couldn’t go through months of constant crying, either, so I kept it light.

    (He’s still alive, by the way, and his heart or lungs will go out before the tumor gets him.)

  73. Those potatoes sound great, though I might roll them in cornflakes instead and put a slice of bacon over the top. We’ve always made potato balls like that (mashed potatoes, dipped in egg and crushed cornflakes, bacon on top, bake), minus the blue cheese. Blue cheese sounds like just the thing, though!

    Oh boy, all this talk of how to announce someone’s death – did anyone else’s family ever tell that old joke about the singing telegram? “Da-da da-da-da daaa, your sister Rose is dead!” Death is just that scary scary thing and since no one is immune, we all have our ways of coping with it and speaking of it, including black humor, etc. I’m sorry there’s a big media flurry, because it can’t be easy on his loved ones. One family I know gets drunk at every family members’ funeral and has a fistfight. We who are strangers to the man are least qualified to say much I think. Oh well, sensitive topic; but thanks for the recipe. :(

  74. Sometimes seemingly “callous” language is the easiest to use, especially when you are deeply effected.

    Zombie, all I can say to that is…Jews crack more Hitler jokes than anyone else does.

  75. Kate, Fillyjonk: I don’t think either of you are callous. I totally understand what you mean.

    I think it’s a damn shame they bumped your slot, and I’m also saddened to hear about Ledger’s passing.

    It would be nice if, instead of using a celebrity’s death to rake in higher ratings and sell more products via commercials, stations promised to make a tasteful statement and then leave the poor person alone.

  76. Kate: Your story about your dad up and made me cry. It’s funny how certain little moments stay with us when it comes to grieving. My family is definitely one of those matter-of-fact/joking families when it comes to difficult times.

    It’s really a shame the story got bumped because it is one of those “capture the moment” moments. And thank goodness there are more articulate spokespersons for the cause than me.

    And I call WASABI mashed potatoes!

  77. Kim, super yea about the coat. I was shopping in Lane Bryant last month, which is still a big deal to me to be shopping in the “larger sizes” store and not feel bad about it. A gorgeous young woman was browsing the clearance racks where I was and tried on a really nice purple pea coat, then turned to me and said “Crap, it’s too tight, isn’t it?” It kind of was, but I was kind of embarrassed by that and just said “Well, it might be more comfortable to move your arms around in the next size.” She just shrugged and said “That sucks”, then a minute later squealed with glee at the miracle of finding one in the next size up since there were probably only 3 of those coats at all left in the store, and happily modeled it for everyone.
    Point being that I was still embarrassed just by being in the store at all, and she had no problems talking to complete strangers about what size she needed and still no problems when she needed bigger than she thought. I left hoping I could have that kind of self-confidence one of these days. So hooray for you to be able to get the coat!

  78. I was at the gym this morning (because I like it and like the way my body feels when I work out, yay! And thank you, this blog!) and when I saw the news about HL I thought, “Oh, I bet this means that Kate will be bumped. Sigh.” *long mental pause* “Say, I wonder what she decided to wear?”

    Kate, care to share? I looked upthread and I didn’t see an answer.

    Huzzah for Kim, and for cheesy mashed potatoes. We actually have all the ingredients for this, but we (along with many, apparently) just had mashed potatoes last night so I’m wondering about potatoey overkill.

  79. Not that this is being discussed anymore, but it wasn’t the phrase “up and died” that bother me (and perhaps others who this isn’t sitting well with). And, if it was that phrase that bothered me, I’d think it was ridiculous and emotionally manipulative to suggest that the way it was used in the post is in any way contextually similar to the way your dad used it. Your dad can grieve however he wants, obviously, but if he had referred to your mom as “a dead white woman” (as Heath was referred to, gender aside), yes, I would think that was callous. Still his right, but callous. All this defensiveness, justification, and backpedalling about the idea of “being callous” makes me wonder why someone just doesn’t admit that, in the moment, she used words that she might not otherwise have used. I kow I’m being annoying and nit-picky, but I love this blog and I’ve been reading it for a long time and in all that time, I’ve never seen this weird attitude. It’s a bit unsettling.

  80. His death affected me, I’ll admit it.

    But the reason it affected me is that when you see someone who is that young pass away, and you yourself are that young, it reminds you, like a slap in the face, of your own mortality.

    I am sorry for his family and for Michelle and his daughter. It’s tragic for them and i wish they could grieve in peace.

  81. Ugh. I always have The Today Show on for the news, and they’re treating Ledger’s death exactly the way I thought they would. Fuckers.

    How many news stories have I seen about famous people who die young? A zillion, each more sick-makingly prurient than the last. How many stories have I seen touting weight loss? More than a zillion. How many stories about fat acceptance. A few in the papers, and none on television, not once, not ever.

  82. Let’s wait and see how many pieces of fluff will still be played on the show tomorrow that you could have been in place of.

    My friend twittered a little bit ago that the band Plain White Tee’s was on the Today show.

  83. Screw the Today Show, you should be on Oprah.

    Except the cognitive dissonance of fat acceptance on Oprah would totally cause the world to fall into a suddenly appearing black hole or something.

    :::boggle:::
    :-)

  84. I went to the Today Show site and emailed them, asking them to reschedule Kate because I was so looking forward to seeing her. Hey, it’s an idea ;-)

    I am not up to date on current celebrities so my mom had to tell me who Heath Ledger is. I’m sorry for his death, especially since he’s leaving behind a child. I still want to see Kate on The Today Show. I think Kate talking on tv could help so many people out there.

  85. I went to the Today Show site and emailed them, asking them to reschedule Kate because I was so looking forward to seeing her. Hey, it’s an idea

    Aw, thank you, Shannon!

    Except the cognitive dissonance of fat acceptance on Oprah would totally cause the world to fall into a suddenly appearing black hole or something.

    BWAH!

  86. As a fat girl, I was thrilled to see that one of my favorite bloggers was actually mentioned in the NYTimes and even more thrilled yesterday to read that she was going to be on the Today Show and have the chance to start breaking down the fat myths so prevalent in the media. I planned to set my Tivo to record it when I got home from work. Then I got home and heard the news about Heath Ledger, and I forgot all about Kate and Today, no offense to Kate.

    As a lesbian, I was hit hard by Heath’s death. Not because his death is any more tragic than the 4000 US dead in Iraq or the countless others who die every day in this country.

    He is, as someone so elegantly quoted, a person wholly unconnected to me. Except that he isn’t. Art connects people in ways beyond everyday reality. When Heath Ledger brought the character of Ennis del Mar to life, he touched my life and left his mark. I won’t go into how much that character moved me or I’ll start crying again, but seeing Ennis on screen was a major event in my life. And so I was incredibly sad and even cried to discover that the man who did that, simply by practicing his craft (albeit brilliantly), is gone.

    I’m not debating whether or not the Today Show should have bumped Kate (especially when they kept a story on WLS–wtf?) or defending the media being sensationalist and exploitive about this poor man’s death. I simply want to make the point that there are more reasons that people might care about this celebrity “upping and dying” than simply being starstruck or voyeuristic. The shock and mourning on many LGBT sites today is very real.

    The fact that Fred Phelps and his God Hates Fags troops are planning on picketing Heath’s funeral is testimony that for many people this is about more than just another celebrity dying. I hope that the show will invite Kate back because what she has to say is important and should be heard. But today it’s not what’s on my mind. Today I’m thinking about the fictional Ennis del Mar and all the very real Ennis del Mars in this country still fighting for love and acceptance and about how thankful I am that this young actor lived long enough to create something so powerful and how sad it was that he died so young.

  87. kate-after my mother died, I used quite a few “callous” phrases. Getting all gooey and mushy just wasn’t possible. 19 years later, i still deal with death that way. So you aren’t alone in your seeming indifference to death. Some of us are just programmed like that.

    I prefer “up and died” to “lost” any day. makes it seem like we just can’t find the dead…

  88. Phledge, thank you for your steadfast support of my “Kitten Donut” variation here and in the New York Times thread. LOL! :D In case anyone doesn’t know where it came from, someone was talking about their fat cat, another person said that the cat probably ate baby donuts, and I “corrected ” with KITTEN DONUTS. Because what could be more species-appropriate for a fat, lazy, couch-potato slob of a cat? :-)

  89. Speaking of so-called callous things said about the death of loved ones…when my grandfather died my sister and I went into his apartment (he lived upstairs from us) to clean out his fridge, and inside I found a container of orange juice; I checked the expiration date and found it had expired the day. I turned to my sister and said…

    “Look, the juice expired the same day as grandpa!”

    I still miss the hell out of him.

  90. Kat, thank you for eloquently describing an appropriate, heartfelt response to a celebrity’s death. I’m thinking of many entertainers for whom I would feel a shock of loss, even though I don’t consider myself to be a stalker or obsessed. I honor Mr Ledger’s work in GLBT acceptance and celebration, and am sorry to see a voice for that community disappear.

  91. I e-mailed the Today Show too, and mentioned how many people you have helped deal with their weight issues and disordered eating. I hope they reschedule you!!

  92. People losing their loved ones = justifiably grief-stricken apples

    Fillyjonk’s original post and Heath = bitterly disappointed stressed-out oranges

    Why are we even comparing? Oh right, because the original post got twice edited and people are being left to look hyper-sensitive and hysterical because their responses are still up and completely out of context.

    Not fair.

  93. The fact that Fred Phelps and his God Hates Fags troops are planning on picketing Heath’s funeral is testimony that for many people this is about more than just another celebrity dying.

    Oh… my… there are no words for this kind of… Ugh. Thanks for making this point.

  94. The story presented WLS as an entirely good thing, too. Not one word about failure rates, premature deaths, or permanent disability. Fuck.

    There’s an ad running for the “weight management center” of a local hospital (which I have been wanting to rant about since I saw it) that features a woman saying how unhealthy and sad she was when she was fat and she “wanted a permanent solution, and [she] knew weight loss surgery would be a PERMANENT solution.” Then a doctor comes on and talks about how great WLS is. There isn’t even a little “results not typical” note at the bottom of the screen. I mean, let alone mentioning all the complications and dangers of it, they aren’t honest that you can run that gauntlet of risks and end up right back where you started weight-wise. I suppose they’ll get out of the liability by claiming she’s a layperson and not a doctor? It just makes me sad that the tide in advertising seems to be shifting to “diets don’t work – but WLS does!”

    Health Ledger’s death is a tragedy and I feel for his family and friends, and the fans to whom he meant a lot. (Heaven knows it would have helped me to have more coverage when Robert Anton Wilson died, since he’d had such an impact on my life). I just wish they could have figured out a way to do both, or rescheduled her. if one person gets WLS or takes drugs or becomes suicidal and dies because he or she didn’t see Kate’s segment and subscribe to FA, that person’s death sure isn’t going to get reported on the Today Show. (Not to be all doomsday THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD IS ON YOU, but God knows FA is saving my life a little every day.)

    Also, Fred Phelps can seriously blow a goat. A gay goat.

  95. Yeah, that pharm professor that I was ranting about earlier cheerfully offered the new “fact” that WLS cures diabetes. Wev.

  96. I didn’t know much about Heath Ledger, but things I’ve heard since his death have made me respect him. I’m sad that he is dead. I’m frankly sad that anyone has to die, ever. Loss of life is rarely not a tragedy. Do all present have to point that out every time it happens? Can we give one another the benefit of the doubt and assume a certain level of human emotion on such occasions?

    Or to put it another way, I cried like a baby when Joe Strummer died, or when Linda Smith died, but I wouldn’t have bumped Kate off the Today show so we could all hear about it ad nauseam. And just because they affected me personally (by being made of sheer brilliance, obv) I don’t necessarily think everyone else has to be equally affected.

    Death deserves to be marked and mourned, but it doesn’t mean that everyone has to go all out because they’ve heard of the dead person. And, actually, Heath and Joe and Linda weren’t any more important than anyone else who died on those particular days. Hence the ‘some dead white guy’, I assume.

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