I do still think, though, that most married people, while acknowledging that marriages are difficult and some much more difficult than others, would shy away from the rather condescending notion that they deserve some sort of hero credit for keeping their marriage vows. People by and large seem to rise to the necessary challenges and do what they need to do when tough circumstances arise. (See my final statement below, I am NOT casting aspersions on divorced people, or saying they were “wrong” to get a divorce–regardless of their personal reasons–and I really hope this is not coming off that way.)

Maybe a lot of my incredulity (and I admit, as a fat person I am totally biased here) is at the idea that someone deserves a medal for staying with a spouse who has gained weight. That is not even on my radar screen as a “difficult” situation to face. Stuff happens, bodies change, and I actually feel sort of sad for anyone who would be knocked for such a loop by their spouse gaining weight or getting saggy or getting gray hair or stretch marks or whatever, because given that people inevitably age and change, such a person is basically guaranteed never to be happy in a marriage. If the TMZ posters actually feel that strongly about this–sure, they marriage is cool, but only if their spouse signs a contract guaranteeing they will never become older, fatter, or uglier–then I sort of pity them because it will never happen the way they want it to.

But, like I said there are a lot of reasons couples grow apart, and attraction is a very personal thing. So I wouldn’t presume to judge any individual situation since one usually doesn’t have anywhere near all the facts.

Keely looks amazing. Pierce’s belly looks like my belly. (Except more hair.)

Some Bond fans have been pretty snide about Pierce as well, because Bond’s body is supposed to be perfect, and Pierce has actually said what a relief it is to not have to work out so intensely all the time since he no longer has the role. Not that there isn’t sexism (ha!) but he’s in that group of men that suffers body-ism (body-ism?) even though he’s in the ruling class of the patriarchy.

That’s been my experience so far, and it’s always great to hear that it’s not unusual – I think a big part of sexism is making women afraid of the period when we’re actually hitting our stride . . . so even though lots of women are happier in their 30s or 40s than in their 20s, it’s still kind of subversive to say it .. .like so what if you’re more confident, have had more life expereinces, and make more money. You’re not 21! Aren’t you depressed about that!

And thanks for correcting me about Cassandra & Pierce. I remember hearing when she gave birth to what was called ‘their’ third child, but, as I say, I really do not do much celebrity-watching. And, yes, he knows about loss & pain & I have an idea that perhaps it has helped him to have a better perspective on life & on what really matters.