I Should Never Have Told Him I Have a Blog

At a restaurant after finishing my dinner, which consisted of (a genuinely gigantic bowl of) mushroom soup and a salad.

Al: Did you really eat that whole bowl of soup?

Me [horrified]: No! I only ate half of it!

Al: [shit-eating grin]

Me: Oh, I C WHAT U DID THAR! Fuck you.

Al: Tee hee.

Me: Also, of all the foods I have issues about overeating, mushroom soup really isn’t one of them.

Al: Potatoes, on the other hand…

Me: Whole different story.

Al: I still can’t believe you ate that whole potato.

Me: Drop dead.

Al: Potatoes are supposed to be filling.

Me: I was full! After eating the whole thing.

Al [sing-song]: I didn’t eat that much!

Me: You know, it’s entirely possible that you just put way more cheese and bacon and shit on yours than I did.

Al: Possibly more cheese and bacon. But definitely not MORE SOUR CREAM.

Me: It’s also possible that you had a snack that afternoon, and I didn’t.

Al: No, it’s not.

Me: [WTF? face]

Al: I hadn’t had anything else to eat all day!

Me: Oh, why stop there? You hadn’t had anything else to eat all week, had you?

Al: TRUE!

20 thoughts on “I Should Never Have Told Him I Have a Blog

  1. Man, even I can eat a whole potato! That’s bush league!

    I guess I should be glad that Dan doesn’t really read the blog. It’s a bit vulnerable, huh? :)

  2. Um. I can eat a whole potato plus the main course and another side. Possibly with wine and dessert. I win!

    Ha! You know what, Dee, so can I. And you know who else can? AL.

  3. LOL…sounds like my husband. A real button pusher. A pusher of buttons my man. Oh yes – once he knows where you doubt yourself he swoops in with bow and arrow and aims for the heart. It took some getting used to but it’s really very loving. If you like your love with sharp teeth.

  4. If you like your love with sharp teeth.

    Haha, fantasitically good way to put it. :*) Mine’s the same…but so am I, so I really can’t fault him. We joke that we’re together because neither of us would ever find someone else with a think enough skin to handle the other.

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