Comments on: Quick hit: Prudie gets it right, I think

By: Charli

Charli — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 09:28:36 +0000

I definitely agree with Prudie’s advice. The better you know somebody, the better they look, is what my mom told me when I was just first getting into boys.

And on the subject of boyfriends…

Me and mine have been together for three years as of nine days ago, and while he’s not skinny, and has a definite tummy, nobody would ever call him fat. I think “solid” is the word I’ve heard most often.

Anyways, for the first year or so, I was always very uncomfortable with my body, because well, I’m fat. And a teenager (at the time). And the only person on earth more insecure about themselves than a teenager is a fat teenager.

So I could never understand why it is that he’d play with my stomach. (He’d play with my other larger parts too *ahem* but…)

I asked him why, one time, after about ten minutes. And you know what he said?

“Because I like it. I think its sexy, and it turns me on.”

I was dumbfounded. Not only was he ok with my body, but he was FRIGGIN TURNED ON by the (in my mind) ugliest part of it!

Of course, he had told me before that he thought I was beautiful, and that *I* was his type, physically, but I had always just dismissed it as him sweet-talking me for whatever reason. I sometimes wonder why we’re so quick to retain and believe the criticism from our loved ones, but not the compliments.

But anyways, I’ve struck gold! Three years strong, and many more to come!

By: Meowser

Meowser — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 03:08:45 +0000

FWIW, my (skinny) BF never explicitly refused dating anyone who was thin, but he admits preferring the feel of someone well-padded next to him, partly because he doesn’t have much padding himself, and someone as bony as he is might feel uncomfortable against him. BUT…he admits that chemistry is a sometimes difficult thing to pin down, and he wouldn’t rule anything out.

I think that’s the take-away lesson here. You can’t fake chemistry, or talk yourself into it based on whether someone has qualities “on paper” that you want, but at the same time you can’t talk yourself out of it just because you think it “shouldn’t” be there. There are probably a couple of thousand men in PDX who superficially resemble C., but he’s the one who makes my tail wag, not them.

By: Mindy

Mindy — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 00:13:26 +0000

Back to attraction (although I do count myself among the Kate Harding Worshippers), I once dated a guy who was about 5’5″ and skinny, so he was shorter than me and weighed less. He was so great, but I couldn’t get over the height thing. Sometimes it is just like that. Of course, I prefer my men bigger, so that might have been part of the problem. I have turned my ultra skinny husband into borderline overweight – and I find him so much more attractive with the weight. Unfortunately, it is so hard to train our minds to find people who are outside our comfort zone attractive. I like tall, beefy men, so a sweet, skinny short guy comes along, I date him for a few weeks, think he is great but just can’t get over attraction. I like Prudence’s advice. Keep hanging out and see if attraction grows. I don’t think my husband is in to my type, but he got over it once he got to know me.

By: kristin

kristin — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 00:12:31 +0000

Ok, a bit off the point here, but everybody keeps talking about George Clooney…My dream man is Philip Seymour Hoffman. My partner and I have “get out of jail free cards” for one person each. He has Kate Winslet (who he wishes would gain some fricking WEIGHT back, already) and mine is Philip.

Isn’t there anyone else out there who drools over Philip? I haven’t found anyone yet…

By: Bagfish

Bagfish — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:54:28 +0000

I like Hardingista or Hardinista best of all.

Shaplies or Shapers really does sound like a brand of low fat yogurt sold here in the UK!

By: Timewalker

Timewalker — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 18:50:32 +0000

Mark me down for “Kate Harding Worshiper”
:)

By: nuckingfutz

nuckingfutz — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 17:21:34 +0000

I’m sorry – my computer’s going nuts… and it still is, so I’ll just

By: nuckingfutz

nuckingfutz — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 16:19:04 +0000

I apologize for that. My

By: nuckingfutz

nuckingfutz — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 16:17:37 +0000

(sorry,) my

By: nuckingfutz

nuckingfutz — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 16:17:00 +0000

I came back to read the responses after mine and realized that I should have mentioned that my hubby of 8 years is almost half my size. Taller than me, but I weigh nearly 100 lbs more than he does. Has he EVER said anything about my weight? Nope – not unless I’ve been trying really hard to lose it, and then he encourages me. I was worried about meeting him in person at first (we met in the internet), but one of the first things he said to me was “you’re beautiful.”

Did I really think I’d be his type? Not