But I remember in middle school one of my close friends, who was MAYBE a trifle plumper – probably just more developed – than her peers, and her dad was HATEFUL. She was a sweet, lovely person, in the gifted program! And her dad told her that nobody would ever like her and she’d never have friends because she was a fat idiot. We were all completely horrified and assured her otherwise. (…She had a large group of friends that were telling her this. Her dad was DELUSIONAL.) Sadly, she moved to another state after sixth grade, and apparently had trouble making friends at her new school :/ I still worry about her sometimes.

My dad never said one word about food or my body, but I do remember my mom’s parents offering helpful hints like, “why don’t you eat cereal instead of waffles for breakfast?” and 10-year old me thinking, “I don’t eat waffles!” because I was allowed one cup of cereal, one-quarter cup of blueberries, and one-half cup of milk for breakfast. When I was in the sixth grade I was 5’6″ and 111 lbs. I wasn’t overweight. To contradict these messages about what I should be eating, the house was always full of junk food.

That was the start of my food obsession; I was a vegetarian for a while to restrict my intake and then I was diagnosed with bulimia in high school. I saw a therapist for 7 years, which shamed them, I’m sure, since I was made to drive myself to the therapist and pay for her services with a part-time job.

All of my dresses for high school dances had sleeves, because my mom bought them, and with my “big arms” I shouldn’t wear anything sleeveless.

I’m almost 30 and I am terrified that if I have a child someday, I will do the same thing to her.

Mine put me on WW at ten. By 18, I was anorexic and completely obsessed with how much food ‘cost’ in points.

It makes me incredibly, helplessly angry thinking about the fantastic childhood I could have had if I hadn’t been obsessed about food and busy hating my chubby body.

Interestingly, when I was 19 I had to have my gallbladder removed because it was full of stones and about to pop. My surgeon firmly believed from his vast experience that crash dieting contributed to gallstones, although he’s never researched it.

I can’t wait to have a children myself so I can love them unconditionally no matter how they pop out!

Our society (you can blame the media for this too) has put so much pressure on everyone to be thin it has caused parents to bully their kids about their weight, causing the kids to be stressed out, causing the release of cortisol, causing more weight gain, causing them to get teased more, causing more cortisol to be released… the pattern goes on and on and on….

and, it has been proven, that in other societies, where being fat is considered wonderful, those who are overweight do not have the health issues of those who are overweight in the western society… hmm… maybe because they aren’t being pressured to be thin and being made to think they’re ugly if they aren’t… so, it can all be linked to one thing… STRESS.

It needs to stop…

I hope that someday you’ll be able to find peace with yourself and, quite possibly, your family :)

I was not so fortunate growing up. Mostly it is my mom’s own behavior that makes me sad; always dieting, always putting off things she wants until she loses weight. I know so many women like this – they don’t “deserve” a short haircut until they lose fifty pounds (yeah – often some rather large amount of weight!) or they could “never wear this or that” because it’s not flattering (remember, the job of clothes is to create the OPTICAL ILLUSION you are different than you really are!), blach blah. I hate hearing that kind of talk but I am unsure of what to say.

With regards to my kids I have found myself hoping my children – especially my girl – stays thin so that life is easier on her. WTF? I am all done thinking that, as of reading many things on this great site.

Thank you to everyone who’s shared!