Now back to the reason I decided to comment in the first place: hot clothes for fat chicks.

Dorothy Perkins. http://www.dorothyperkins.com
Their stuff goes up to a 22(UK) which is roughly an 18/20 (US). Depending on how it’s cut, I vary between a 22/20. I got a really cute ruffled skirt the summer those Jersey girl ruffled skirts were in. Paired with a little red and white football tee, you couldn’t tell me I wasn’t the hottest thing going. Plus, I’ve bought two wonderful wool coats from there for winter. I’ve worn them both into the ground because the ARMS ARE GRADED UP ALONG WITH THE OTHER MEASUREMENTS! Therefore, I can wear them, fat arms and all with SWEATERS underneath! HALLELUJAH!
Another plus, they have figured out that you don’t necessarily need to grade up length when you’re grading for width. So stuff that’s short stays short. I’ve also gotten sweet-ass dresses and tops that look great.

I’ve gotten cute boots from Evans. My fav. pair are brown with stacked wooden wedge heels. I’ve also shopped Nordstrom, DSW, etc. My feet are little, wide, hobbit feet, so I have issues finding shoes that are wide enough. Fortunately, I like to shop so I have the patience to try on stuff a lot.

One word of advice about shoes/boots: If you have the money or the fearless use of a credit card, go with an Italian brand. Italian brands tend to use a larger last when cobbling. It’s because Italian women, as study Mediterranean women tend to have curvier calves/wider feet, ie. Monica Bellucci, Nigella Lawson, my friend Sylvia. I’ve gotten two cute pairs of Dolce & Gabbana stilettoes that don’t pinch because of the wider last the shoes were built from.

B&Lu. http://www.bandlu.com : cute stuff, not a lot of money. Got a lot of stuff from them.

If you have the opportunity to visit or if you live in London, check out the market scene. I’ve gotten TONS of really cute stuff from the stalls at the Petticoat Lane market on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Examples: cute lavender tweed coat, two wool handkerchief bottom skirts, another ruffled mini (HOT PINK!), shoes, boots, white button down shirt, wool pants, cute tees.

For those of you in NYC or LA (or just a place that has a big fashion industry), SAMPLE SALES. Manufacturers (I am in the fashion industry) who do true “missy” sizes, usually run up to a size 18 (trust me). Very often they will ask for a size run in a particular style to see if the garments have been graded correctly and if the sizes run smoothly from one end of the spectrum to the other. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. More often than not, samples will run big, so that 18 may fit more like a 20 or even a 22. If you can brave the communal dressing room, they’re worth a shot. I tried on a lovely trench by Dolce & Gabbana that was a size 48 (somewhere around a 16).

If you are like me and have a penchant for high-end labels, don’t be afraid to ask for a size 48 or 50. The designers make them – there’s a lot of rich fat women in the world and they have the money to spend. One fat friendly high-end label is Missoni. I’ve gotten two skirts and a sweater from them. The knit is lovely and stretchy and looks great on my size 16/18 butt. Chanel also makes things up to size 50, as does Armani. Lauren Ralph Lauren has a dedicated women’s line. Marina Rinaldi does great (if slightly conservative) things and they’re the plus sized arm of Max Mara. Lafayette 148 does women’s plus, too – cute, Connecticut-y things that your mom would die to see you in.

Paige Premium Denim is now doing plus sizes. But then comes the whole “I have to shorten them” problem if you’re short.

I think that’s my whole fashion round-up. I feel better. Toodles!

Even now, I hate that there’s so much stuff that I can’t get in the straight OR larger-size stores – the former stops many styles at 16 (or less), the latter doesn’t even stock them. I especially hate that while I have a very defined waist, so much big-girl stuff is made for the apple shapes.

Especially, this time of year…hey, when corsets are in for the party season, where’s mine? ‘Can’t make them in my size….’ oh, c’mon, I could get one made bespoke for a small fortune if I had it, and about a hundred years ago they made them in EVERY woman’s size, so don’t give me that.

And then there’s the bras that stop dead at a 38 back, even when they go into the big cup sizes (Bravissimo, you know who you are!). Or the fact that when the bras DO go up to big sizes, the matching panties don’t. And the fact that most coat makers also assume a size 18 is going to have tiny little skinny arms. Ptooey.

Sorry, rant over. You can see why I largely ignore fashion these days.

I’ve had ‘What are you worried about…you’re not fat!’ from bigger women, and some smaller ones – I have two very thin, totally fat-supportive chums, both of whom have spent most of their lives trying to put ON weight. And it makes me feel kinda guilty that I ever worried about it. And yet, it’s clear that to many people – some of them uncomfortably close to me – I’m still ‘huge’. But…I know that for the very brief time I got down to a 12 (accidentally, from stress mostly) I was actually ill, and I’m not going there again even if a doctor (or my mother, which is marginally more likely!) holds me at gunpoint.

(Kell, I think I may be part Elf and part Hobbit. That would explain the singing voice if nothing else.)

Not only that, but FA Ally Extraordinaire, Linda Bacon, PhD is downright tiny. (She may, in fact, be part Elf, but we’re still waiting on the DNA results.)

Torrid carries cheap pleather knee-high boots with gloriously roomy calfs. And yea, pleather, but you’re spending forty bucks, so…

And what Roberta said about comfy in your skin. I’ve got a co-worker who’s enviably thin. I mean, almost too little ass, delicate bone structure, kind of an ethereal look. Maybe she’s a size 8. And she’s always watching her food and obsessing over it. How much can I eat what am I allowed to eat I’m going to cheat blah blah blah. She runs her life around these little permissions and indulgences and punishments. And I look at her in the cafeteria doing her “allowed to” dance, and I think, I’m much more relaxed. I have less on my mind. Because I’m not thinking about THAT shit all the time.

But I want to back up the point of the post; even as a not-quite-tweenie, I still benefit from reading fat acceptance blogs, whatever the size of the writer. After a year of sheer panic that I was putting on weight, and fear that it might never stop, and subsequent dieting, I’ve finally got myself back to healthy moderate guilt-free eating and exercise. I will never again be size 6, because it’s just not worth it to me to invest the necessary time, effort and money in getting to that size and staying at it. Besides, when I was that size, I lived in terror of being size 10-12. Now I am 10-12 and healthily so, I finally ‘get’ that if I’m healthy and happy, and living a balanced and fulfilling life, then there is no reason good enough to make me diet and get back to living in fear of fat again.

I could lose ‘just’ 10% of my weight to get me back to ‘normal’ weight. I’d also probably lose 10% of my time, in order to maintain it, and an indefinable percentage of wellbeing – it’s six months since I’ve looked in the mirror and cried now. 10% loss of weight is NEVER going back to that sort of self-revulsion.

That might be too abstract for some people, but it might really appeal to others. I don’t know.

Could you start by pointing her here and to The Rotund and fatshionista and maybe giving her a copy of Rethinking Thin?