Douchehound of the Day

I think it’s important to highlight this moving and persuasive comment by njnjnj:

OK, how can you dismiss doctors who ask for lifestyle changes when you havent even attempted to make them? I don’t think its that you CANT lose weight, you just dont want to try. God, seriously I think you should right a post addresing what seems a bunch of lies this whole fat movement is because all of you can lose weight but you wont try. And I think you should mention how much and what kind of exercise you get. Because on the forum I frequent full of runners, many of them were at one point morbidly obese, started running, and lost 70-100 pounds and became more healthy than they ever have in their entire lives. So how can you say fat people cant lose weight?

S/he obviously didn’t read the post in question, let alone the rest of the blog, or s/he would know that I’ve dieted my ass off, quite literally. And s/he obviously didn’t read the comments, where I talked about eating fucking vinegar and lettuce. Or the numerous posts and entire “yoga” category where I talk in great detail about how much and what kind of exercise I get. And s/he obviously didn’t notice that the majority of my commenters have also dieted repeatedly.

But thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster njnjnj came along to tell us what’s what! I had NO IDEA I’m fat because I’m too lazy to get unfat, and if I just ate less and exercised, I would become thin and healthy — the latter of which I clearly am not right now, what with the fat. And this… fat movement thing! It’s a pack of lies! I’ve been misleading you all!

Especially the part where I talk about “health concerns” being driven by hateful, ignorant stereotypes of fat people. I’m definitely lying about that.

I AM SO SORRY.

Posted in Fat

43 thoughts on “Douchehound of the Day

  1. Question: How does one “right a post.” Is it a post gone wrong? Is it hanging out with the “wrong friends”? Perhaps an intervention is needed? We could all gang up on the post and shuffle it off quietly to rehab…?

    All these years I’ve been fat if I’d only know that eating right and exercising is all takes!! If I’d only known! I’ve grown fond of the clothes at Lane Bryant, I don’t think I could give them up!

    And is the “just say NO to _____” good advice for alcoholics, drug addicts, sex-a-holics, ad infinitum also appropriate?

    Of course, Ms. nnnjjjn (??) must be an expert on obesity having been obese herself for so many years, yes?

    People are thoughtless and cruel. Shame on you nnnjjjnnn whatever.

    Jules

  2. Why do I get the feeling sometimes that trolls Google “fat” everyday like they do “rape,” read only the headline on the post, and then proceed to spew away?

  3. Okay, zie got me. I haven’t made “lifestyle changes”. I don’t want to lose weight. I’m fat. I’ve been fat ever since I was a teenager. I’ll probably die fat.

    I’m also not depressed or guilty about any of this. Occasionally I’m annoyed by the rigmarole required to obtain clothes, but that only lasts about an hour, max. Then I’m home from the shops, and it doesn’t bother me any more.

    So, my question is, when did *my* weight become *zir* problem?

    [PS: Before the trolls start, I'm Australian, living in Australia. No matter how far-reaching the US health system is, I doubt it's paying my Medicare costs.]

  4. I’ve grown fond of the clothes at Lane Bryant, I don’t think I could give them up!

    LOL. Yeah, until a straight-sized store starts making Right Fit jeans, I wouldn’t want to risk getting thin again.

  5. The whole “I know all these people who used to be fat but since they started devoting their entire lives to exercise they’re healthy” shit really chaps my hide. How much exercise should a person really commit themselves to? Seriously. When I was trying to lose weight and exercising regularly, I would read Self and Shape and whatnot. The women in their “success stories” sections would invariably be engaged in about two hours of concentrated workouts every day and more on weekends. It’s just not reasonable.

  6. You know what’s crazy Meg T? Medicare isn’t really paying for too many of our medical costs, either.

    I am SO SICK of ASSHOLES saying “I don’t want to pay for some one elses medical care! Why should I have to pay for that?”

    Why the should any of us have to pay for, oh, I don’t know, police men? I’ve never been in trouble. Why should I have to pay for firemen? MY house has never been on fire! Why should I have to pay for public schools? I don’t have any kids!

    Oh wait, maybe if we all took our heads out of our asses, we’d realize that there are OTHER PEOPLE in this world, and if we all take care of each other, the world is a much happier place.

    .

  7. I think some people in the U.S. have bought into the nutty idea that if everyone got skinny, health care would be cheaper for them.

    Because, you know, there are no possible side effects to serious weight loss — no stress on the vascular system of any kind, no pounding of the joints from the hours-a-day workouts we’re all expected to do if we’re Good Citizens, no osteoporosis from chronic dieting, no running the kidneys ragged from ketosis, none of that. Once we’re thin, if we need to see doctors for anything more than routine checkups before age 85, it will be a total fluke.

    And insurance companies being the philanthropists they are, they will happily kick the savings back to the oh-so-healthy customer in the form of seriously reduced premiums. Yeah. You betcha.

  8. Well, to hopefully counteract the depressing effects of that lousy comment, I thought I’d post for the first time. I’ve been reading your blog for two weeks now, and as enlightened as I thought I was before that, it’s blown my comfortable smug little worldview to pieces. Truly. I’m not a person who would be called fat by any reasonable person, but neither do I have a body which conforms in shape to typical ideals of beauty. (Muscular legs are, I’ve discovered, an insult to fashionistas.) I got panicky and lost a bit of weight early this year, having got out of my good exercise habits and put a bit on. And that’s fine, but I’m buggered if I’m going to keep up the five 90min gym workouts a week/1600 calories a day diet that got me there. I walk a bit, I gym, I swim, I eat 2000ish calories, but I won’t count any longer.

    I found this blog at just the right time, when I was trying to make the decision between continuing dieting and not. I’m back to normal, healthy, varied eating, and normal, healthy, varied exercise. That makes my life normal, healthy and varied, and my body fit and healthy. Have I started putting on weight again? You betcha. Do I think about it completely differently because of this blog? Yup, that too.

    So thanks. And bugger the douchehounds.

  9. Perhaps our friendly douchehound would like to try a triathlon or two alongside (the awesome) Fat Girl on a Bike. If competing in triathlons and sticking to the nutrition required to do that kind of thing isn’t a “lifestyle change”, I don’t know what is. Yet…girl still fat? ON NOES HOW CAN THIS BEEEEE?????!!?!?!?

  10. I just wanted to point out that most runners aren’t like our friend who posted that obnoxious comment (who may or may not even be a runner — it’s not clear from the comment). I have been running for 11 years, on average about 12-15 miles per week, and have been fat my whole life (including after I started running), and I have never once felt like my fellow runners judged me. I like to participate in 5K road races and such, and have run in two marathons, and invariably there have been faster, thinner runners (total strangers) hanging out at the finish line after they finished so that they could cheer for me and the other slowpokes. I think most runners have respect for anyone who gets out there and finishes a race. I have probably run in at least 60 races, and nobody at a race has ever made a rude remark or even looked at me funny, not once.

    I just wanted to get that out there so that people don’t get the wrong idea about running culture and get discouraged from trying it! On the other hand, one shouldn’t think of running as a magical weight loss cure, either — you only burn about 100 calories per mile regardless of pace, so for a 3-mile run that’s 300 calories, but you also have to subtract the calories you would have burned by sitting in front of the TV during that same time period, so you only burn maybe an extra 200 calories. That’s hardly enough to melt away the pounds! But it does improve your health and makes you feel good about yourself, fat or not.

  11. Mary is right, people at 5k races at least are really nice IMHO. One of the benefits of running is that there’s always somebody cheering specifically for you at the finish line.
    Perhaps, the commenter has been hanging out in the wrong Runner’s World forums. Some of them are kind of hostile/fat phobic. Others are nice and encouraging.
    In real life though, the elitist types who make jerk-off comments won’t be talking to me (or anyone else) during running events.
    The truth is, most runners let you join the cult if you cross the finish line. Doesn’t matter how much you weigh.

  12. My fat ass can’t run because of those pesky genetics, which caused me to inherit shitty knee structure that keeps me from doing a lot of things, except one of my favorite things, which is walking. I love to walk! I do it as often as possible.

    But I don’t need to justify myself to that douchehound (and seriously, how great is that word??). I recently had a kind commenter on my blog implore (challenge was their word, I believe) me to use my blog lose weight because it would be good for my health and beauty. Or some shit.

    Who says I’m not healthy and beautiful right now, you fucking asswad???

    Sorry for the expletive-laden rant. Insomnia does that to me.

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  14. What a self-righteous twat. People like that make me want to… well, slap people like that silly. Seriously, way to make broad and sweeping assumptions based on all the information you COULD have read but chose NOT to… out of, what, laziness? stupidity? *eyeroll*

    I work a very physical job that’s roughly the equivalent of a several-hour-a-day workout, and I live mostly on salad (without fatty dressing, fwiw) and fresh fruit (partly because I like it, partly because I have health problems that require it). I have also, in the past, tried every diet known to man, including several lengthy stints (1 year +) on Atkins. But oh, I’m definitely still fat, always have been, always will be. njnjninny and any other trolls lurking: put that in your pipe and smoke it. I’m still healthy, and you’re still an idiot.

  15. Just wanted to second what mary said about running culture. I used to run in 5K’s and the amount of encouragement that you get from other runners is awesome, no matter how fast or slow you are.

  16. I’d like to second Mary and deja pesu’s comments about runners. There are a lot of jerks, and they’re probably the ones who write to Runner’s World complaining about how races are getting too big because anyone can do them. I’ve done quite a few triathlons and road races at everything from 120 to 180 pounds and not only are there competitors of all sizes but in every single race I’ve been in I’ve been passed by women who were much larger than I am who have said something encouraging and then continued on their way, kicking my a**. And then cheered me at the finish line. So fat and athletic are not mutually exclusive.

    Thanks for tipping me off to Fat Girl on a Bike!

  17. I’m with Meg, I’m fat, I’m happy and I am not going to diet my ass off just to make society feel more okay with me. I COULD stop ordering delivery and eat better/more salads etc. But I’m not going to!

    (Though I am working up to running a mile, just because I feel like it is something I should be able to do. Y’know, in case of revolution.)

    And I live in the US and pay for my own damned health insurance.

  18. Having just finished reading Paul Campos’ book, I’m not surprised by the comment, and it seems particularly apropos that it was left in the post that it was. I’m thinking about the analogy that Campos makes between the Puritan ideals and early capitalism and how it is that they’ve gotten translated into today’s diet culture. Basically, the same ethic which told the Puritans it was okay to keep striving to earn wealth, so long as they didn’t enjoy any of it (because that would be sinful) is at work. We are told that we should work and work to lose the weight and never should we slack because to enjoy food and our bodies would be sinful and out of control. (Okay, he was far more eloquent on the point.)

    Clearly, your post about enjoying a variety of food really touched a Puritanical nerve.

  19. Fat Girl on a Bike is totally awesome!!

    Funny — I got fat despite several hours a day in the gym, multiple dance/aerobics classes, and commuting by bike. On about 800-1200 calories a day. My dad, who teaches spinning classes and cycles and in-line skates competitively ever since he trashed his knees distance running and playing hockey, struggles with his weight all the time. My sister the mailman, who diets like crazy and kickboxes for fun after walking around with a 50-lb pack all day, is fat too.

    I think it’s genetic.

    My (skinny) running buddy — who likes to eat enormous ice cream sundaes after we run, and drinks several cafe breves a day (that’s about 6-8 oz half & half apiece), and snacks nonstop — agrees with me.

  20. Oh, and ditto on how great this blog is for all of us, Kate. Thanks.

    And ditto on how little of that bullshit njnjnjnj is spouting comes from the actual runners I know (or any other athletes that I work out with). Like, none.

  21. I think the larger (ha, I crack me up) poiunt that njnjnj misses is this:

    I DON’T HAVE TO PLEASE YOU!

    ZOMG, I don’t CARE if you don’t like how I look as long as *I* am happy with my body. I don’t CARE if you believe I am fat because of genetics or because I am a lazy lard ass. I don’t CARE if you think I ought to be spending all my time exercising.

    RARGH!

    It is none of your goddamn business and it’s just another way to justify hatred.

  22. I’ll show you my genome if you show me your genome. :: WINK ::

    I’ve been mulling over njnjnjnjnjnjnj’s post most of the morning, trying to think of a response (intelligent, clever, or otherwise) for him/her/it. And it’s virtually impossible to craft anything that goes beyond a hale and hearty “fuck you” simply because he/she/it and all of his/her/its ilk will never be able to understand the concept of living life trying to be decent to each other and decent to ourselves. And also what a sad existence it must be for him/her/it to constantly obsess over what goes into its mouth and how much exercise it gets and beating itself up again and again and again because it’s not “perfect”. So then I want to be the bigger person (har har) and feel sorry for him/her/it, being stuck in that hamster wheel of misery.

    But then again…at the moment, it’s just more satisfying to say “fuck you”.

  23. douchehound — that’s good.

    Credit goes to Melissa McEwan, who proposed that in answer to the question, “If Tony Blair were a dog, what breed would he be?”

  24. hi all. This post finally made me crawl out of lurkerville.
    Trolls are annoying. I wonder why they spend so much time reading a blog that they (obviously) don’t enjoy. Do they really have nothing better to do?

    Anyways, I live in Latin America, where I feel, being even a little overweight is not acceptable. I’m a size 10, but most women around here are not content until they reach a size 4 or 6. Some of it has to do with culture…Latinamerica tends to be pretty macho, hence women feel they have to conform to the norm. The problem is that in a macho world, the norm is totally whack! as in model thin. Crazy. So, anyways, I’ve learned to deal with it, made my group of friends, ignore those who judge on appearances only, and grown to love this place. Just goes to show that no matter where you are, shit (in any language!) will happen. Sorry for the rambling! Just wanted to say thanks, Kate, for giving me a place to go to everyday that has made me feel better about myself!

  25. Oh, and another thing — re the part about how hahaha “all of you can lose weight but you wont try” — I reckon maybe njnjnjnjn might be right about that; I’m sure I’ve lost at least 500 pounds. I’m a freaking genius at losing weight. OK maybe it’s the same goddamn ten pounds over and over and over again, but I think alla yall know what I’m talking about.

  26. This is another wonderful reason why being a thin person in the movement is so good!! TROLL SLAYER…
    “IT CAN’T GET NOT RIGHTER!” :P

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  28. It’s just exhausting, the sheer number of people who seem to believe that we have a RESPONSIBILITY to lose weight. They don’t give a fig about if we’re healthy, if our bodies are functioning well at present weights, if our life expectancy is longer than those so-called “normal” BMI folks. No, no, we should all strive to reach the weight that njnjnj seems to believe is acceptable.
    Yes, most people can lose weight; some require extreme measures to do so, and yes, some people can build their lives around those extreme measures. But that doesn’t make it healthy, necessary, or desirable.
    Chemotherapy can also make me skinny, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to sign up for it tomorrow.

  29. I’d just like to point out that as of 9:03 p.m. central time, this post was number 19 on WordPress’s Top Posts in English.

    I kinda bet our douchehound wasn’t looking for quite that much of an audience.

  30. I have to agree with Meowser. I’m going to take it a step further and write there wouldn’t be any kind of burden on the health care system if all of us were thin. I mean, hell, there would be no cancer, no HIV/AIDS, no strokes or kidney failure, Sickle Cell wouldn’t exist, liver disease would be extinct, arthritis wouldn’t occur, on and on, and least I forget, ageing? Man, those old fat people really suck it out of our health system, yes? All of these are fat diseases (I could go on, but the list would be ENDLESS!), yes this is sarcasm? All of our health care woes would dry up and blow away if we could just make our fat dry up and blow away. Right, and I want to buy that bridge that Kate was talking about earlier.

    While on this topic then, I total Rah! to Yellowhammer. I wish my tax dollars would do MORE for schools, MORE for healthcare, MORE for vetrans, etc., etc. Since I pay it out, I want it to help others. I don’t mind paying taxes, I just wish that money wouldn’t go to all the wrong places, which I’ve just decided not to list because that one would be exhaustive and depressing.

  31. Yes, most people can lose weight; some require extreme measures to do so, and yes, some people can build their lives around those extreme measures. But that doesn’t make it healthy, necessary, or desirable.

    Or long-lasting.

    Oh, and sorry to everybody whose comments got caught in the spam filter for a while there. It was mighty picky today.

  32. I don’t think these trolls are really thinking their plan through. If we get ashamed enough to starve ourselves thin, who will take our place as the object of their derision?

    Furthermore, why do they think that exercising two hours a day makes them some kind of hero? How about volunteering two hours a day to actually benefit someone other than yourself, if you’ve got all that time, and you want people to think you’re awesome? Someone who expends all that energy for the sake of expending energy is just wasteful. Life’s too short for that crap :)

  33. Shade, I feel the same thing, and I feel it’s because they are on the run. They are slowly picking up on our growing refusal to bow to them in any way, and boy are they PISSED!

  34. To those who say I should pay more for health insurance because I obviously need more health care because I’m so fat, I say “OK; then using your logic, I should pay less into the Social Security system than you do, since I’ll be dead from fat before I’m old enough to retire.”

    That usually puts an end to THAT discussion.

  35. For me, accepting myself, fat and all, was the only way I could really be happy. It was the only way to not demonize my fat, accept that yes, my husband thinks I’m a hot chick ::grin::.

    In accepting myself, I stopped being obsessed with food. I eventually had enough courage to join a gym, and for the first time in my life, I LOVED it. So fat acceptance actually helped me to change so that I could become more healthy.

    What the fat haters refuse to accept is that it’s not as simple and “diet and exercise”. I have 3 chronic illnesses, and if those weren’t enough to keep me from doing more, the medications I’m on pretty much all have “weight gain” as a side effect. The illnesses I have affect my metabolism.

    So I’m not giving up, but even when I’m thin, I will still accept people for who they are–not what size they are.

  36. First off, I wonder if she has ever encountered a fat person in a gym. Yeah, those people on her running forum are motivated. But has she ever seen the reaction people who are trying to lose weight get from others in the gym? Even if someone can use the gym and works up the courage to go there to work out, other people look on disdainfully. As if someone should instantly shed all pounds the moment they decide to work out, so that other gym workers don’t have to be inconvenienced by the sight of someone who isn’t a picture perfect twiggy model.

    I wish people would understand that fat acceptance is about accepting that people are fat, not about condoning evil behavior. It isn’t saying, “OMG EVERYONE SHOULD GO OUT AND BECOME FAT RIGHT NOW.” It is saying, “Some people are fat. There is no reason to pass judgement.”

    Some people are worried that if they don’t shame a person who is overweight, that person will have no incentive to change. In my case, my mother and sister, and several others in my family, were the types who would eat whole boxes of little debbie snack cakes by themselves, and yelled at each other about who was more overweight. They gained pretty much all their weight by really really bad eating habits and never exercising. I would assume that, at least on a subconscious level, those two have done more to keep me on a healthy diet than anything else.

    It took me a long time to get over the bad feelings I had toward what being overweight that most definitely came from them. It didn’t matter that I had plenty of friends who were overweight and who talked about their struggles. I had nothing against them, and I understand how hard they were trying. But even though I always knew better and told myself to quit it, my brain still had this visceral reaction that ‘fat = lack of responsibility’ and ‘fat = horrible people’ (I should mention that my mother and sister were very abusive people as well.) The same thing goes for other types of prejudice that come from growing up in an all white, poor, Christian neighborhood – no matter how much I learn and talk with other people and fight against the nonsense which was given to me as a child, there is still some part of me that want to say, “You know what’s in appropriate? THIS PERSON IS A _____ AND THAT’S HORRIBLE.” So many people don’t want to examine those prejudices, and they don’t want to admit that they persist even after one knows better. This is why it is so important to get rid of them – because it will help everyone all around.

    Fat acceptance is not about saying that morbid obesity is healthy and something people should strive for. It is about saying that being fat is not a crime, nor is it a marker of irresponsibility and unredeemability. Furthermore, I think it is a pronouncement that health trumps the typical modern standards of beauty.

    On another note, my cat is very fat (20 pounds) and I’m worried about him, and we’re trying to get him at a normal weight. All the cat health advice I’ve read says pretty much the same thing that is considered sane for humans – take it slow, feed him good nutritious food, and give him enough exercise but not too much. Failure to follow these simple guidelines can lead to broken bones, hurt joints, liver failure, heart failure, and all kinds of things. And this is just in the case of a cat who ate too much and didn’t exercise enough (He is a very lazy cat, I have to admit that, and he’s in a small apartment – not good for kitty exercise.). There are lots of cats who have genetic problems or diseases that either make them fat outright, or else prevent them from exercising.

    Since veterinarians and pet health experts seem a little less crazed about pet weight loss than human health experts, I thought this was worth mentioning. Even if someone is fat for non-genetic reasons and they are trying to lose the weight, they have to do it reasonably.

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