I’m not sure if I like this or not… on the one hand, it would be nice to think of myself as “normal” in a way that I haven’t ever since the day in kindergarten when this 4th-grade brat yelled out “look at the fatty stuffing her face with cake.” Of course anyone else could have brought their birthday cake to school without being subject to comment. On the other hand, it makes it that much harder to disentangle whatever “disordered” eating habits I do have from those that would be considered normal if I were thin. And it makes me feel in an odd way like I have no “excuse” to overeat (even though the urge is overwhelming at times) and the whole willpower thing rears its ugly head again.

I do think that many fat folks have problematic relationships with food because they’ve been pressured to diet for most of their lives, but I also have had a nagging suspicion that some of the fat women I talk to who think they are compulsively overeating probably are not particularly disordered but have been brainwashed to believe that they must be compulsively overeating or they’d auto-magically become thin. Some of the women in the group feel guilty for having a glass of wine or a handful of snack chips they don’t need because they ate for pleasure or for comfort instead of stopping when they got full.

You know, skinny people do that all the time but don’t think of themselves as compulsive overeaters. I don’t think it’s a crime to have a cookie because you crave one or to have an extra helping because you’re bummed out about something no matter what weight you’re at.

Anyway, you’ve said in this post many of the things I’ve been thinking but haven’t been able to articulate, so thanks.

Lauredhel, I think both are true. Fat Fu made some great points in comments here.

And that’s why, again, it’s so important to say that “some forms of EATING” are disordered, not “some forms of obesity” (as was proposed in the editorial I discussed above). If having an eating disorder is a “form of obesity,” then insurance companies could conceivably make premiums even higher for all fat people, not just those diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder.

Why am I not confident that they’ll make that distinction? Grrrrrr.

Still, I do imagine that a segment of the APA is very interested in having it included as then it is a subject for which they can bill.

I imagine there are some very powerful forces keen on redefining body size into a psychiatric illness because then they can very readily refuse and exclude huge swathes of the population from any form of useful insurance.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s antifeminist to admit the power of loving, respectful pair-bonding. A rational utilitarian emphasis on financial/social independence as a means of autonomy shouldn’t mean denying the importance of emotionally satisfying relationships.

The current societal infatuation with individualism can be a heavy weight to bear if one feels they have failed through not “making it on their own”. As a gregarious mammalian species, we are strongly adapted to seek emotional validation from group bonds and especially from partner bonds. For those of us who don’t fit the norm, finding group acceptance can be harder, so we need a thicker skin of self-reliance, but it shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all.

Finding satisfaction and support in group-bonds and pair-bonds should never be seen as unfeminist, IMO.

I had exactly the same experience. Even when I realized I was slowly killing myself I was denied help because people thought I was making it up because I hadn’t suddenly become skeletal. In fact, the doctor I confided in actually gave me weight-loss advice instead. Yeah, that was helpful…

I finally found a therapist who acknowledged I had a disordered relationship with food, but because of my size she was convinced I was a compulsive over eater, even as I was panicking at the thought of eating more than 500 calories a day or spending less than 3 hours a day exercising.

But of course, I must have been lying. Because instead of shedding pounds left and right, I stayed almost the same weight and just got progressively weaker, sicker, and balder (I was losing hair from lack of nutrition). So instead of being taught to love myself enough to feel worthy of nourishment, I was taught that food is NOT my friend, and that I shouldn’t eat when I’m emotional. Ok…no problem. In fact, I have that pretty well covered.

I never did get REAL professional help, and I still have a sometimes messed up relationship with food, although I am much better. I was lucky enough to have a wonderful man in my life who has helped me believe I’m OK just as I am. The feminist in me hates saying that, but it’s true. My doctors may not have thought I was worthy of self-esteem, but he did, and that probably saved my life.

I guess my point in all this is that I believe it’s extremely important to remove weight from our ideas of what makes an eating disorder. Sure, disordered eating MAY have a noticeable effect on a girl’s weight, but it also may not. Just because her body doesn’t react the way you think it should or look the way you think it should does not make the damage she’s doing to her body any less severe. It does not mean she needs any less help. It’s an emotional and a behavioral disorder, please treat according to emotional and behavioral symptoms, not dress size.

(end rant. sorry)

I would also like to see some recognition from health professionals/The Authorities/etc that some fat people do also have eating disorders of the anorectic and bulimic type. Seriously, if a slim girl or woman had been doing what I did, there’d have been concern all around and trips to the eating disorder clinic. Starving for a week, then bingeing and compulsively exercising for a week. Not eating anything or taking only tiny, tiny servings or having a glass of water instead of food – these all gained praise from those around me for being “so good”! I hid the bingeing, but I’d get further praise for exercising myself to exhaustion. It didn’t make me any thinner, that’s for sure.

If it’s an eating disorder in a slim person, it’s an eating disorder in a fat person. Except that the prevailing fat hatred and pursuit of “health” and “beauty” mark the fat person down for “get thin or die trying – and that’s ok!”. A HAES list I read once had a message from a frustrated eating disorder psychologist about one of her new clients, a 500lb woman who was, literally, dying of starvation in the same manner as severely underweight anorectics. All previous doctors and such had done was encourage her to “try harder” to lose weight. Because she must have been lying about not eating, right? How can someone possibly be fat and starving? Her problem must be compulsive lying, not anorexia! I went and cried after reading that one, tell me tell you.