“Body fat absorbs toxins, so fat people simply cannot ingest enough bottles of sleeping pills to have any effect, much less stop their hearts,” Reese said. “And slitting one’s wrists in the bathtub is not an option if you can’t find a butcher knife thick enough to reach the arteries under your rolls of wrist flab, or can’t fit into the bathtub in the first place. All the self-loathing in the world is not going to help the obese get their meaty index fingers through the trigger guard, nor give them the flexibility to raise the pistol to their head. It’s heartbreaking.”
I’ve seen arguments that this hits a little too close to home to be funny, but to me, it’s a note-perfect send-up of OBESITY CRISIS!!!! reporting. The last paragraph is so good, I don’t even want to wreck it for you by quoting it here.
What do you guys think? Is it spot-on satire, or do they take a little too much glee in describing rolls of jiggling blubber and whatnot?
a woman who finds suicide jokes hilarious, yet was apparently the only person on earth offended by that Reebok ad