It’s so hard to pick just one. But here it is: Not all dieters put the pounds back on.
What? Could it be that diets do work? Why, yes, a new study proves!
[A] growing body of research, including data released today, suggests some dieters keep the pounds off, especially if they exercise regularly and don’t watch a lot of TV.
Oh, I see! You have to get off your fat ass to lose weight and keep it off! Of course! THAT TOTALLY NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.
So who are these “some dieters” who managed to keep the weight off by avoiding the couch?
Well, let’s see. They’re people who lost “at least 10% of their body weight.” That’d be about 17 lbs. for me. Which would make me… yep, still fat.
58.9% of those people — the ones we’re celebrating for finding the key to sustained weight loss here — “regained less than 5% of their body weight.”
I suck at math, but 5% is about half of 10%, right? So really, we’re talking about people who managed not to gain back more than half of the weight they lost. That doesn’t sound quite as impressive, does it? Neither does the fact that this would leave me, for instance, with a net loss of 8 and a half pounds. (Oh, sorry, it’s LESS than 5%. So 9 pounds, then.)
And 58.9% leaves a little over 40% of the participants unaccounted for, right? What about them? Oh, hey, look, 7.6% are “still losing!”
The other 33.5% did gain back more than half the weight they lost. Bummer.
But still, almost 60% kept more than half the weight off. That’s good. That’s unusual. That’s hopeful, for the type of people who are inclined to find the promise of dieting hopeful.
And obviously, they kept it off for at least five years, or the study wouldn’t be worth mentioning! Everyone knows that!
Wait, what? We’re only talking about the results after one year?
Oh, dear.
I probably shouldn’t tell them about the time I lost 65 pounds. and kept it off for about two and a half years. Or the time I lost 45 pounds and kept it off for another two. But not five. Never five. I probably shouldn’t tell them that virtually no one keeps it off for five years. I wouldn’t want to break their little hearts.
Oh, wait, I totally would. And maybe their faces, while I’m at it.
It reminds me of an episode of “The Simpsons” when Lisa destroys a roasted pig Homer is preparing for a BBQ. Through mud, water, and eventually shooting through the air, Homer keeps trying to rationalize that the increasingly poor state of his main course is irrelevant. “Its just a little dirty, It’s still good, it’s still good”… “It’s just a little slimey. It’s still good, it’s still good.”… “Its just a little airborne. It’s still good, it’s still good!” I always think of that when the “Clap Louder” crowd somehow finds a way to twist the abject failure of fat stigmatization into proof of the virtues of fat stigmatization. No negative evidence will sway them. They simply cry, “It’s still good, it’s still good!”
BStu, LOL!
Kneecaps would be good…
Consider the source, though. USA Today is not known for hardcore investigative journalism.
The people who still believe dieting will make everyone slim are like the people who still believe crop circles are made by aliens even after a bunch of British larrikins came out and said “Uh, we did it”, creationists, flat earthers, and faked-moon-landing conspiracy theorists. True believers.
Kate217, dammit! Kneecaps totally would have been funnier!
Geezer, true, but it’s an awfully widely read paper, and most people who see that are just going to process, “Diets DO work, and the fatties are only making excuses, just like I always thought.”
La di Da, heh.
I’m so delighted at the “promise” of a 60% chance of an 8 pound loss. Now there is a reason to live. I can go on another day…
OT-Just a reminder to all of you out there- be careful where you sit this weekend. Since Alli is now available over the counter, I am being more careful as that orangey fluid is not likely to be orange soda drying up in the sun anymore.
LOL, Divajean.