So, several people have e-mailed me links to stories about how prominent collarbones are the new symbol of self-disciplined thinness, since the trends are shifting toward oversized clothes that conceal how scrawny the wearer is or is not. (To an extent. I can tell you right now, I won’t be wearing any trapeze dresses, because trapeze dress + Rack of Doom = pregnant circa 1963, which is not a good look for me.) And the type of people who knock themselves out to be scrawny want some goddamned credit for it, eh?
I just got the link from yet another friend, who concluded by saying:
I have to confess that a couple of years ago I did spend a certain amount of time saying to myself, damn, how do I get my collarbone to be more prominent? Seriously. Not proud of it, but there you go. I hadn’t really thought about the whole starving-yourself-to-look-like-a-Holocaust-victim aspect of it.
I wish I could say I’m horrified by that and can’t fathom such a thought process, but, um, nope. So here’s my response to her, which shall serve as my belated response to all the collarbone bullshit:
I have seen the collarbone thing, though I didn’t see it in the Trib. A few other people have even e-mailed it to me (one of the coolest things about having a readership is that now strangers e-mail me things and say, “I want to hear what you have to say about this”), but I’ve avoided commenting on it so far, in part because I don’t feel like I have anything intelligent to say about it (beyond “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST”) and in part because other fat blogs have addressed it already, so I feel like the territory is pretty well covered. [Note: I think The Rotund said something about it, too, but her site seems to be down at the mo, so I can't verify that or find a link. If I'm wrong, you should go read her blog anyway.]
Also, I sort of feel like there’s a danger of my comments section turning into a bunch of skinny bashing, which I’m too lazy to moderate, frankly. Every time something like this comes up, someone inevitably says something like, “Real women have curves!” and then someone who’s naturally thin says, “Ain’t I a woman?” And I think that’s completely fair of the naturally thin to say. But there are a whole lot of fat (or even just not skinny) women out there who don’t yet have the self-esteem to say, “lots of different body types, including mine, are just fine” — many feel the need to put down skinny people the way they’ve been put down for being fat their whole lives. And I fucking hate that, even if I understand it and empathize with it, so I kinda just didn’t want to open the door to that whole conversation on my blog.
And although I don’t recall ever thinking about my collarbones, specifically, I did have an interesting conversation with a (thin) friend who also sent me a link to the collarbone thing. I told her what I just told you, and she said, “Yeah, skinny girls hate their bodies, too. I can remember being on the beach when I was a teenager and being mortified because you could see my pelvic bones jutting out.” And I was like, “Huh. I remember standing around the high school pool, and looking at this one girl’s pelvic bones jutting out, and wondering if I could get mine to do that, ’cause it looked so sleek.”
That one girl, btw, also had the copious downy arm hair that suggests a body too starved to keep itself warm, and she once told me that sometimes she stuck her cereal spoon down her throat and puked on the breakfast table to get attention. It never occurred to me at the time that she might have an eating disorder. I just wanted to be as thin as her.
And so it goes…