A Day Late

Please check out this fantastic Mother’s Day post by Ilyka Damen.

And this is the thing: Feminism does fail those women who expect they are going to see results in this lifetime. Feminism doesn’t always offer results in this lifetime. And in that sense, and that sense only, it is a little like religion: You don’t get the results in this life. You get them in your daughter’s life (if you are lucky) or in your granddaughter’s life, or, for those of us who are either childless or child-free, you and yours don’t get them at all–you have only the vague hope of “future generations.”

“Future generations” will benefit because you stood up when you should have sat down. “Future generations” will consider it normal for an analytical, no-nonsense woman like my mother to be CEO of Merrill Lynch; “future generations” will not say, stupidly, “If that’s what she wanted, and she had the ability to achieve it, why didn’t she?”

Me, I hope “future generations” will understand that the chains you are taught from an early age to wear are the hardest to shake off. Because what my mother wanted and what she chose (you young ones, always with the choice! You have no idea) to do were what the chains of her age permitted her to do–no more, no less. She WANTED, I think, to write, to think, to float ideas, to spend loving hours wandering abstractions–but of none of this did she dare dream. A good Mormon woman puts her family first. And of course she has a family, of course she buries her needs and her wants in a perfect graveyard of service to them, to others, to anyone at all but herself.

There’s lots more. Go read it.