The New York Times on the latest diet drug. Or the latest name for a diet drug, I guess, since it’s just repackaged Xenical.
Did you know it’s pronounced “ally”? How gross is that?
Here’s my favorite line about the marketing:
The campaign is aimed at “a jaded consumer,” Ms. Murphy said, who “will say to you, ‘I’ve heard it all, I’ve done it all: Weight Watchers, TrimSpa, the cabbage-soup diet.’ And even though they don’t believe the claims, they will try it anyway.”
Emphasis mine, but still. THEY SAID IT OUT LOUD!
Also, I’m not sure how someone who’s heard it all and done it all and still keeps trying products whose claims she doesn’t even believe qualifies as “jaded,” but whatev.
Alli works by preventing the body from absorbing some of the fat it takes in. BUT, they tell us, it only works if you also restrict your calories–i.e., if you actively diet while taking the magic diet pill. Let’s count the things that are incredibly fucked up about that, shall we?
- When the people who use it inevitably gain the weight back, it will be, as always, their fault, and not the fault of a product that would totally work if you fatties had any willpower!
- What the hell does it do to the body to restrict calories and artificially prevent fat absorption simultaneously? I’m no doctor, but I’ve got this sneaking suspicion that’s gonna make a body think it’s being starved right quick. And that’s going to, what? Say it with me: cause the metabolism to slow and the body to cling even more tenaciously to fat cells once the diet is over.
- If it only works alongside dieting and exercise–which are already proven to cause short-term weight loss on their own–what the fuck is the point of paying for a pill? Just so you can get violent runs if you decide to eat one cheeseburger? SIGN ME UP.
What am I missing? Feel free to add to that list in comments.
And GlaxoSmithKline, feel free to suck it.