Comments on: You Can’t Know What It’s Like Unless You Don’t Have Kids

By: kateharding

kateharding — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 21:23:15 +0000

Thanks!

Also, I do know how to spell “accommodations,” for the record. :)

By: bluemilk

bluemilk — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 21:15:36 +0000

Hey I really like your new imagey thing, the thing that appears next to your name when you post a comment. Very cute.

By: kateharding

kateharding — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:46:45 +0000

Bluemilk, I absolutely agree with your point about both sides feeling attacked and men not getting the same kind of criticism.

With this particular post, though, I wasn’t really approaching it as a feminist issue. It’s more about everyone having respect for other people in public spaces. (And about me turning into a grumpy old woman.)

I love the Bitch, Ph.D. post. And I think she and I agree on this issue. Maybe I should have noted here (as I did in an older post) that I don’t have a problem with seeing the tit come out, hearing the yelling while a parent’s trying to get the situation under control, etc. I usually don’t have a problem with crying infants. When I hear an older child screaming in a way that seems unusual for his age, I remind myself he might have special needs… I really do try to be patient and sympathetic before I judge. But there are some parents, men and women, who do not react when their children are behaving terribly, and although they (thankfully) aren’t that common, they’re common enough to make me ranty.

And btw, I absolutely support more workplace accomodations and resources for parents and children. I absolutely believe children belong in most public spaces–it’s just that I also believe public behavior should be different from living room behavior, no matter how old you are.

By: bluemilk

bluemilk — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 06:37:32 +0000

Here is my two cents worth. Yeah some children are painful and some parents are painful.. But ultimately I think the key to this debate comes down to the fact that both women who choose to have children (ie. these children are your responsibility and don’t expect to be welcome at work or in restaurants, you’re supposed to keep away with your children) and women who choose not to have children (ie. all women want children, you can’t be a real woman if you’re not having children, what’s wrong with you) feel under attack about their decisions around reproduction. Why? Why don’t men feel this to the same extent? The anti-children brigade and the anti-childfree-women brigade have a common hatred of women.

Your post was pretty fair and respectful so I don’t want to sound like I am being too negative in response… anyway I can’t improve upon the points raised by this mother..
http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/2004/09/professor-mama.html

By: kateharding

kateharding — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 18:59:28 +0000

It’s even better now that I fixed the typos.

By: Cynical Girl

Cynical Girl — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 18:44:22 +0000

I’m glad this site is up because *this post* just needed to be written.

Thank you & amen.