Comments on: Does this Post Make Me Look Fat? http://kateharding.net/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/ 2007-2010 Thu, 15 Jul 2010 02:13:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: BethanytheMartian http://kateharding.net/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-110459 Thu, 17 Sep 2009 06:19:10 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-110459 Okay, so I’m bored and combing the backlogs. I have to say that I’m fat, as a child I ranged from fluffy to full-on-tubby, and I’ve never had problems with physical intimacy. I am a hugger, and I always have been. I am a big squishy person who likes to give hugs- someone told me that I sounded like I was describing myself as an overstuffed chair, and the truth is more awesome. See, I have boobs!

My brother, however, I know has issues surrounding larger girls. He won’t date larger girls because for some reason that breaks his incest barrier, and he does hug me but he gives me this one-armed hug that’s like the smallest body contact a hug could contain. He, btw, got the Greek God model of body while I got German Peasant Woman.

So I dunno if it’s a cultural thing or not, but I know that I’ve had random frat boys give me hugs for bringing the gift of pizza and it doesn’t bother me. So… for something kinda related!

http://a0.vox.com/6a00fa969ec3ae00020110162b6210860c-pi

]]> By: Shiyiya http://kateharding.net/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-108694 Wed, 26 Aug 2009 09:05:32 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-108694 Wooooo commenting on posts two years later.

Just thought I’d throw in, I’m a (sort of) thin person (I was skinnier before I hit puberty and developed an hourglass) with a mostly thin family, and as much as it disgusts me I have to a fairly large degree internalised fat=disgusting. Which bothers the shit out of me because I don’t LIKE being judgemental of people for stupid shallow reasons but I end up mentally completely picking apart everyone ever’s appearance anyway.

Point being, I will cop to being mildly uncomfortable touching fat people, escalating proportionately with the level of fat, which I really, really wish I wasn’t.

Oh, and I’m generally massively physically affectionate, making this even more silly.

]]> By: Rio Iriri http://kateharding.net/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-6323 Fri, 10 Aug 2007 09:36:06 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-6323 My family wasn’t very physically affectionate, so I’m a little uncomfortable with getting hugs from people I barely know, but as I become closer to them, it’s fine.

What weirds me out is the northeastern tendency to kiss everybody. I visited family last weekend, and every person (even some I hadn’t met before) kissed me, some even aiming for the lips. Yowza.

I love cuddling with my husband, who’s thin, but I think my curves make us comfortable with each other. :)

]]> By: danucal http://kateharding.net/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-1376 Fri, 11 May 2007 14:47:36 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-1376 Thank you, you helped so much by even giving a voice to my feelings, I was feeling so bad when I wrote that last night, but it made me realize their are a ton of issue I have to work out with my body image, and self image. Thanks for responding! You’re favorited! :~)

]]> By: kateharding http://kateharding.net/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-1373 Fri, 11 May 2007 12:49:16 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-1373 Crap! Danucal, I just wrote a really long response to this and lost it. Short version: I was nodding my head along with everything you said–and that breaks my heart.

Thanks for these comments.

]]> By: kateharding http://kateharding.net/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-1372 Fri, 11 May 2007 12:47:46 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-1372 Oh, danucal, what you’re saying breaks my heart, but also makes me nod my head. Thanks for articulating all that so well.

Big people are absolutely brainwashed, too–and sometimes when you hate your own body, it can be sweet relief to externalize that feeling and make fun of another fat person. (Well, I may be fat, but at least I’m not HER!) I’ve done it myself in the past, more than I’d care to admit. And of course that just means we do the dirty work for the people who want us to keep believing that fat is disgusting and horrible. Fantastic.

And you are so right on about that girl. I’ve had conversations with a lot of larger people about getting stuck in a situation where friends are making fun of a fat person, and it’s like, “Hello! I’m right here!” Inevitably the response is, “But you’re not like that!” or, ridiculously, “But you’re not fat!” They don’t even get that they’re making all these assumptions about a complete stranger, or that they’re denying a friggin’ fact–my friend is fat–because they cannot separate the concept of “fat” from “disgusting, unhealthy, smelly, lazy, etc.”

This shit just runs so deep. Thanks for commenting.

]]> By: danucal http://kateharding.net/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-1368 Fri, 11 May 2007 06:28:24 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-1368 Sorry, for the double comment, especially considering how long the last one was, but one more thing: There are some overweight/obese people who are just as bad, and even worse than thin ones. Just the other day I was on a work assignment with my aunt, and I was talking to her and minding my own business when some workers across from us started to make a ruckus (they were loud already) about my weight. These were just kids, but I saw a chubby girl in the midst of them. I felt I should stare at her until she broke down, but I didn’t want to give them reason to get more rude; I needed the job. Plus there were about 15 of them, and one of me (my aunt is a notorious coward, plus she’s embarrassed of my weight, too). I wasn’t really hurt by this, because it’s what happens to fat people (ugh..i said it, “fat”) all the time, and it hasn’t happened to me in awhile. I kept thinking to myself, “How is this girl going to feel when she goes home tonight?” Not that she would be actually hurt, but I know that she was playing a losing game: Trying to make people forget that she was fat just because she happened to be smaller than whoever their next target happened to be. Trying to make people forget that she is also “repulsive” in their eyes..

Anyway, sorry, another long post. I just thought I’d mention that I’d seen the other side of it, too. It’s not just skinny people. Big people are brainwashed as well.

]]> By: danucal http://kateharding.net/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-1367 Fri, 11 May 2007 06:17:27 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2007/01/12/does-this-post-make-me-look-fat-part-one-in-a-possible-occasional-series/#comment-1367 This is way late to respond to this post, but I’ll cop to fearing people touching me. I’m overweight (Yes, I still sort of hate the word “fat”, sorry). I have been for most of my life, and I’ve never felt really comfortable with people touching me. I can totally relate to you and your sister. My sister is around a normal weight, and when she trys to be close to me, I feel weird, and sickened at even the thought. Heck, even when my mother tries to hold my hand, I feel weird, like, “Why would she want to do that?”..When I really think about it, it is because I actually think I’m repulsive in some way. Obviously this stuff is more than physical, but it has alot to do with how miserable I feel about my body.

Over the years I’ve started to believe what people say about “fat people”: nasty, ugly, smelly, greedy..So when someone doesn’t want to talk to me, or sit next to me on the bus, or whatever, I have a moment of sadness, before I snap back to reality. Then I’m mad as hell. Even though I know it’s unavoidable, that people are going to feel this way until the end of time, it still makes me discouraged about putting myself out there.

The thing is, I can get as angry as I want to about it, angry at other people, but it’s really me. I’m actually mad at myself, at my body because I feel like it cuts me off from contact with people. It’s hard to know when I’m the one at fault, or when “average size” people are just being assholes!

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