Comments on: Twenty Ground Rules for the Wedding I May Never Have http://kateharding.net/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/ 2007-2010 Thu, 15 Jul 2010 02:13:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Stealing Ideas « A Second Thought http://kateharding.net/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-82991 Mon, 02 Feb 2009 10:08:21 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-82991 [...] A Second Thought Warning: Chronic Sarcasm Likely « A Chef In Men’s Clothing Men’s Club Much? » Stealing Ideas May 28, 2008 Looking back over blog archives, I came across a post written by the wonderful Kate Harding entitled Twenty Ground Rules for the Wedding I May Never Have. [...]

]]> By: Julia http://kateharding.net/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-52805 Fri, 25 Apr 2008 03:22:06 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-52805 I should make a similar list for my wedding. :)

]]> By: Marste http://kateharding.net/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-52803 Fri, 25 Apr 2008 01:57:09 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-52803 I love this. You know what I want? This comes under the category of “if it’s not fun, I’m not doing it.” I want an outside wedding, but no cake. No, instead of a big huge wedding cake, every table gets a box of cake mix and an Easy Bake Oven!! It’ll be so white trash that half my relatives will be appalled – and my white trash relatives (who as a rule, are WAY more fun) won’t think twice! HA!

]]> By: liz http://kateharding.net/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-52802 Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:28:47 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-52802 And by things to plant in your garden, I mean people brought cuttings and plants from their own gardens.

Also, I’ve been to a wedding where everybody brought a quilt square and they were all sewn together afterwards to make a king-sized quilt for the couple’s bed.

]]> By: liz http://kateharding.net/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-52801 Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:27:12 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-52801 On the gift thing:

Three ideas I’ve seen done are
1) Recipes. Bring a family recipe and a non-perishable ingredient to make it.
2) Adopt-a-Habitat-for-Humanity project: all houseware gifts will be donated to a new H-f-H project (you gotta tell folks up front about that).
3) Things to plant in your garden (assuming you have a garden).

]]> By: colleen http://kateharding.net/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-620 Wed, 06 Sep 2006 03:18:37 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-620 whether or not you were understood, you are generating good karma with your genuine single person empathy.

also, to weigh in on the present thing … part of the reason people buy fancy, superfluous gifts is that they are too lazy to think of anything meaningful.

they don’t want to expend the emotional or intellectual energy, so instead they open the checkbook.

or yeah, they just don’t know you enough, even if they were willing to try.

]]> By: Kate http://kateharding.net/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-619 Tue, 05 Sep 2006 12:56:19 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-619 Col, I hear you. I’m not one to cry at weddings, but this is the first one in a long time I didn’t cry PRIOR to. I met two single women who didn’t know anyone at this affair–one of whom was a bridesmaid stuck in an ill-fitting dress that was threatening nip-slip all Saturday night, the other of whom was way underdressed and whispered to me, “I didn’t have anyone to ask about my outfit; my cat doesn’t really have an opinion”–and I probably ended up seeming condescending to them because all I could think was, “MY GOD, I WANT TO EXPRESS EMPATHY. YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND,” but I’m afraid it came off as pity. And both of them totally did the, “Thank you for talking to me, but I’m going to walk away awkwardly before I feel like I’m stalking you” dance several times… Bleh. It hurt to watch. And there were so many times when I ended up with no one to talk to but Al, over the course of THREE long events–I can’t even imagine going to this one solo.

Spill and Aepha, I tried to respond to both of you, but blogger apparently ate those comments. The short answer to both, I guess, is that gifts given with intention are awesome–but A) weddings these days often set it up so that people who don’t even know you well enough to HAVE intention still feel expected to cough up, and B) It just seems ridiculous for us to take money and stuff to help us “start a life” we’re already living together.

]]> By: colleen http://kateharding.net/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-618 Tue, 05 Sep 2006 01:51:16 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-618 kate, you are a blinding brilliant light from the heaven. your wedding ground rules could help me stop dreading weddings. i always feel like the annoying glommer. i need to get comfortable with the idea of bringing a same sex friend since i don’t have any guy friends anymore, and going solo really blows.

]]> By: Hum & Aepha http://kateharding.net/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-617 Mon, 04 Sep 2006 03:32:24 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-617 I admit I have absolutely no use for the overpriced “Wilton Armetale” serveware that my 2nd cousin gave us.

But the limited edition print created by an artist-friend (signed specifically for us with our names and everything) is really something special.

I think all gifts (in general) should be given with intention, rather than old school tradition.

]]> By: spillah http://kateharding.net/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-616 Sat, 02 Sep 2006 13:28:48 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2006/09/01/twenty-ground-rules-for-the-wedding-i-may-never-have/#comment-616 Seriously. How do you keep people from buying you shit for your wedding? Letitia says, “you will hurt people’s feelings…” HUH? What about hurting my storage bill? I have four generations of effin’ china because no one in my family had kids! I am up to my ass in housewares.

Is there some kind of regifting scenario for weddings? Or a special good-deeds closet for people who need more ceramic bowls? Like when I was little and my grandparents would buy way too much shit for Christmas, and my parents would hide three-quarters of it and pull stuff out of the closet in February when I made my bed. Good job, kiddo!

Have a salad spinner.

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