Comments on: On Boundaries and Rejection http://kateharding.net/2006/03/19/the-kind-of-man-i-am-not-looking-for-part-1-in-an-occasional-series/ 2007-2010 Thu, 15 Jul 2010 02:13:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: erin http://kateharding.net/2006/03/19/the-kind-of-man-i-am-not-looking-for-part-1-in-an-occasional-series/#comment-108234 Fri, 21 Aug 2009 23:23:31 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2006/03/19/the-kind-of-man-i-am-not-looking-for-part-1-in-an-occasional-series/#comment-108234 I have said to friends more times than I can count that “I just love you so much” is a completely nonsensical response to accusations that he is making you feel like shit.

THIS. I’m rereading my way through your archives because I’m needing a large dose of Shapely Prose awesomeness, and this post is resonating loud and clear for me.

]]> By: spillah http://kateharding.net/2006/03/19/the-kind-of-man-i-am-not-looking-for-part-1-in-an-occasional-series/#comment-210 Mon, 20 Mar 2006 02:29:51 +0000 http://kateharding.wordpress.com/2006/03/19/the-kind-of-man-i-am-not-looking-for-part-1-in-an-occasional-series/#comment-210 It is terrifying what people will do to avoid encountering rejection. I mean, everyone gets rejected, it’s a shitty fact of life– a more frequent fact of life for people who inappropriately inflict themselves on others and refuse to respect boundaries. Rejection sucks, but concocting a relationship in which the other person’s feelings, boundaries and needs don’t register is not a relationship– maybe a safe haven from rejection, but not a relationship. Like you said, the loving response is not, YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME. The loving response is I WILL RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES AND DECISIONS. Because you are RELATING to someone else when you do that.

How can anyone fail to get the hint, especially when it is no longer a hint, but an instruction?

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